i still dream for you

All of the air in his body dissipated as soon as he’s inside the coffee shop. It’s difficult to put his finger on it, but the air just feels different. In comparison to when he was here earlier, it’s almost as though he can’t get any fresh air in his lungs. When he catches sight of you, your hands are full of takeaway coffee cups that you’ve collected from the storage room. He can tell that your struggling and wonders if he should go over to help you or it would be too much for him to handle. 

His decision is made for him when he sees the cups and you teetering over to the left. In a flash of a second, he’s by your side, grasping the cups from falling over and you’re surprised because you hadn’t even heard him come in. 

“I-um hi,” you feel like an idiot when you say it because you should be thanking him for helping your cups keep balance. If they were all to topple to the floor it would be unsanitary to use them for customers, thus costing you money. In front of Jaebeom you never felt like you said the right thing.

“Hi,” he breathed. He’s so close that you can make out his scent. Not a scent that comes from deodorant or cologne, but just his smell as a person and you can’t help it when your body kicks into fight or flight mode and takes a step back, grasping the now balanced cups. You don’t want to get addicted to it. 

Jaebeom watched as you placed the cups in the cabinet underneath the counter. Looking around he noticed there are a few customers here and there – not too busy – but he wondered where the rest of your employees were. 

Nodding, you finally thanked him, “thanks for helping me… Not only would that have been completely embarrassing, but I would have had to order more which is a pain.”

“No worries…” he furrowed his eyebrows, “Is there no one else around to do this kind of stuff? Shouldn’t the boss kind of be upfront keeping an eye on everything?” 

You laughed and felt your heart warm a bit that he knows this detail about you, Minji’s boyfriend that he came with yesterday must have told him. “Well… this time of day is pretty slow and I don’t have a lot of employees as it is just because I’m still getting started so I can’t afford to have a full schedule.” 

It occurred to you that maybe you said too much. Considering you just insinuated that you have no money and lack the financial capacities to pay people. 

There’s a silence when Jaebeom nodded as if understanding your predicament – which he does and doesn’t because he hasn’t had to deal with money issues in quite some time. You look at one another for an extended period and once again Jaebeom breaks the eye contact making your stomach churn. Did he think you were weird for looking at him so much? Or was this about last night?

“Listen about last night-”

“So outside of the club-”

You both laughed at your attempts to speak at the same time and obviously about the same subject. Considering you’re the one who interrupted his moment last night when you awkwardly watched him and his girlfriend – or whatever she was – you let him talk first. 

“Listen about last night… I don’t know what you saw, but that was just-” You waved him off nonchalantly, not wanting him to feel the need to explain himself. You felt like it was your bad, not his. 

“It’s fine. You don’t need to explain anything. I get it,” you gestured to the jar of green tea bags to change the subject and offer him a drink on the house – mostly because you felt bad. 

Jaebeom happily nodded, but continued to press the conversation curiously, “what do you mean… you get it?”  

You felt your mouth go dry. Was he going to make you get into specifics?  

Pouring hot water into a mug and dropping in the teabag, you shrugged, “yeah I mean… we all have…” you cleared your throat, “our kinks.” 

Jaebeom’s eyes went as wide as the saucer his mug of tea is on. If he was already drinking the tea, he would have done a spit take. 

“Our what?” 

What was it with this guy? He really wanted you to say it explicitly even though you both knew what you were referring to. Maybe this is another kink he has. Later you would have to ask about Minji about Jaebeom, because he seemed so normal. Then again, the most normal ones are the strangest. 

Once his tea had steeped enough, you slid it over to him on the other side of the counter, “listen if you’re really going to make me say it… Obviously, you were about to bite that girl,” Jaebeom felt himself freeze just as he had when he saw the couple on the dance floor last night.

“And I’m just saying that we all have things that sexually arouse us. If that’s yours that’s okay. I’m not here to kink shame so… we can just leave at that, okay?” 

Jaebeom felt speechless. He really couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not. You had picked up on the fact that he was about to bite Ara, but your mind immediately went to kink instead of a vampire. Although in retrospect that made sense considering vampires weren’t real and biting kinks are… you hadn’t seen his teeth? 

There was more to the situation than you were letting on. The teeth and the red eyes… you just figured that it was also a part of it and you didn’t really want to get more information than you needed about this guy. You barely knew him. Besides if the teeth and red eyes weren’t apart of it… what would that essentially mean? You just had to believe that it was and you needed no further details.

You moved out from the counter, passing by Jaebeom who is still frozen in his spot, and grab the broom that leaned up against the sides of one of the back booths. There’s not a lot of time left before you close for the night and with a small number of customers in, it was best to get started in the closing process. As you began to sweep, it’s not lost on you the way that Jaebeom watches your every move. You wondered why he hasn’t moved to a table to finish his drink, but you try your best not to focus on it. It’s already been established that he’s not a normal person. 

He kind of reminded you of Minji. The two of you weren’t close by any means – just those friends that were only friends when in the confines of a certain social situation or group. In this case, you had met her in your shared kickboxing class, but besides that class, the two of you didn’t talk much or hang out. However, based on knowing her in that context and with the way she spoke to you, it reminded you a lot about Jaebeom. They both to a certain degree functioned normally, but it also felt like there was a level of them that couldn’t? As if there was something in them or a part of them that stopped them from actually being in the moment or being a part of an exchange with someone else. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was, but it felt like they had a layer to themselves that they were constantly holding back, reigning in. 

“So, is this something else you like to do?” You asked suddenly, still sweeping. 

Jaebeom placed his mug down on the counter after taking another sip, “Sorry?” 

“Watching women clean? Is that something else you like to do? Because you’re just kind of staring…” 

He laughed, “no it’s not, sorry… I kind of just zone out sometimes. I guess sometimes it makes me seem… creepy?” 

You nodded in affirmation, “very creepy. Has anyone told you that you give off weird vibes? Like kind of eerie and strange?” 

Once again, he laughed and you couldn't help but think how melodic it sounded, “I get that sometimes. Is that a bad thing?” The way he leaned against the counter certainly helps this persona. 

Shrugging, you continued sweeping away from him in an attempt to not let him see the smile that dares to make its way on your face, “not really. I like Halloween. You probably do too… ya know considering your whole thing.” 

He rolled his eyes playfully at you once again referencing the scene in the alley last night. Or whatever you thought it was. 

“I get it okay? You can stop reminding me.” 

When you finished sweeping, you moved back behind the counter to begin the rest of your closing duties. Jaebeom once again continued to watch you. 

“Do I have something on my face?”

Instantly Jaebeom shook his head, “no you don’t… Sorry, I was just thinking about how I actually don’t know your name. Kind of embarrassing.” 

 “Completely embarrassing,” you nodded, “it’s Y/N by the way. So you don’t have to be embarrassed anymore.” 

There’s a silence between the two of you and it’s not your favorite thing in the world. It encompassed this feeling inside of you that you can’t explain. It’s comfort… but it’s also something else. A type of tension, but not quite. You wanted it to be over.

“Well… it was nice to see you again. Even if it was just to explain yourself. Happy… day after your birthday?” 

Jaebeom looked at you confused, “You’re kicking me out already?” 

“I- uh no… I just thought since you finished your tea…” you drifted off, glancing down at his empty mug. 

“What time do you close?” 

You checked your watch, “not for an hour and a half.” 

Jaebeom smiled and slipped into the same armchair that he had been in only the day before, “then I’ll take another tea and still until then.” 

And for some reason… for the next month, that’s how it would go. Jaebeom would come into the café around two hours before closing and just stay there. He would have his usual green tea and sit at the table closest to the cash register. Sometimes he would have a book with him, sometimes his computer, but most often he would talk to you. He’d tell you about his day and ask you how yours was. 

Sometimes he would ask you random questions out of nowhere, “do you like to paint?” 

You had been counting the cash in the register in another effort to get done with closing tasks earlier, with furrowed eyebrows you had been confused by his sudden query, “Painting? Um… No. I’m not really good at art. Never have been… never will be.”

Silently he had nodded his head as if your answer had been the wrong one. 

The questions or conversations didn’t get too deep and you were okay with that. It was nice to just have someone there while you closed up each night. Jaebeom became comforting to you. However, things had changed after two weeks of his constant visits.

Jaebeom had seemed… off.

From all of the times he had come in, you had felt as though you already had a good read of him. He wasn’t particularly the most cheerful person in the room and it always seemed as though he had something of importance that was bothering him, eating away at him, but Jaebeom still had always managed to keep his guard up. Therefore, you never felt a need to push anything. 

“Hey, are you okay?” You had decided to ask him when you brought over his second tea of the night. 

He scoffed and for some reason, you had felt a slight ache in your heart, “What kind of question is that?” 

You shrugged, “a normal one to ask I think.” 

Jaebeom pushed the full mug of green tea forward on the table, away from him, “I don’t want it.” 

“Jaebeom if you’re going to be like this… you know I can make you leave right? I have the right to refuse service to anyone. Even if you’re my friend.” 

At the word “friend,” the grimace Jaebeom had been wearing slowly begun to fade away. His entire face softened, “Sorry… I just- I had a conversation with my friend today and it kind of pissed me off.” 

Timidly, you had approached his table, wanting to tread lightly, “What was it about?”

Jaebeom had paused for a moment, “do you believe in like… fate? Or people you’re meant to be with it.” 

You weren’t sure why, but for some reason, at that moment you had felt your heart skip a beat. Going over to his table, you sat down across from him. “Soulmates?” 

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, “yeah something like that… or whatever you guys call it?” 

“You guys?” 

His eyebrows had lifted in a slight panic, unnoticed by you, “g-girls.” 

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say that… but I don’t know if I believe in that. Like I used to think my ex and I were going to be together forever, but then he fucked my cousin… so no I don’t really believe in it anymore.” 

“Damn… I’m sorry. That’s pretty…” 

You finished for him, “fucked up. Trust me I know,” you paused taking in the way his hands were fidgeting on the table, “Why? Do you believe in them?” 

At first, he didn’t answer you but instead reached for the tea on the table. You couldn’t help but smile at the action. “I don’t know. I think I do… I mean I have to so it makes everything else in my life complicated.” 

Placing your elbows on the table, you leaned forward, “Complicated how?” 

“Like pretty much everything else is pointless. I’m just waiting for that thing to happen. Every day I wake up and it doesn’t happen, so I think maybe tomorrow will be the day. But then it isn’t and I keep this mantra up of “maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow,” and next thing I know years have gone by.” 

The way he was talking to you made you feel uneasy. He sounded sad, upset, and depressed. You were mostly uneasy because you weren’t sure how you could help him. The tone and emotion behind his words also felt like it was something he had been thinking about for a long time. The fixer in you wanted so badly to make things better for your new friend, but all you could do was assure him.

“Jaebeom… I know it can be tough to find someone. Especially today when everyone’s using their phones to find someone to fuck once, but I promise you’ll find the person… you’re uh meant to be with. I promise. You’re what? 26? 27?” 

“Something like that,” he mumbled.

“You still have a lot of time. Most people don’t get married till their mid-thirties anymore.” 

Delivering a tight smile, Jaebeom had responded “great… can’t wait till then.”

It’s clear by his tone that what you’ve said hasn’t made him feel any better, but you tried at least. You weren’t even sure if it was possible to make Im Jaebeom better. 

You moved off the table, leaned back into your chair, and strained your neck to see if any of the customers in the shop needed anything, “so you and your friend got into a fight why? Because he doesn’t believe in soulmates and you do?” 

“It’s a little more than that… it’s-”

Nodding, you cut him off, “complicated.” 

Jaebeom didn’t bother explaining that he had got into a fight with Bambam about spending all of his extra time here at the café with you. 

“You keep saying that you’re not going to do the hookup thing you did last year and keep waiting for your mate… Well, then why are you wasting all your time with Y/N? You said she’s not your mate, so what’s the point?”

You wouldn’t have understood, it would have revealed too much. 

His question about soulmates had continued to stick around in your mind for the next week. Every time you saw him you felt an undeniable sense of warmth and comfort, even though from the outside Jaebeom didn’t appear to be or offer those things. And yet somehow, he just did. 

Now a month had passed and you waited eagerly for Jaebeom to come in the shop, just as you had every day previously. It seemed as though that was the thing that was getting you through most of your days lately. All of the rude customers, all of the difficulties that came with owning a business seemed to fall away when he walked through the front door. 

Hearing the bell on the door ring, you instantly maneuvered your head up towards the entrance. It was disappointing every time someone who wasn’t Jaebeom walked through the door, but you tried your best to not let it show on your face. Instead, an older man came in and abruptly went to the counter as if he were on a mission.

“What do you have?” 

The tone was a little bitter for some reason, but you tried not to let it bother you. Politely smiling, you motioned to the menu hanging behind you. “We have any kind of coffee, a wide tea selection, smoothies… pastries, you name it.” 

For some reason at your words, he appeared more agitated, “name what?”

Smiling again, you responded, “It’s just an expression. Meaning that we pretty much have everything.” 

“I don’t need you to explain an expression to me. Your job is to make my coffee.” 

You want to say something so bad. You want to just throw him out of the store and lose your cool. It’s almost as though you’re about to, but you’re relieved when you hear the bell on the door once again. This time it’s exactly who you’ve been waiting for.

Seeing Jaebeom, immediately makes you feel as though you could handle any rude customer, especially one who was now very uncomfortably checking you out. 

Jaebeom notices you’re with a customer and shyly smiled at you, immediately going over to his usual table considering he no longer needs to order since he’s become such a regular. Even your one or two employees know his usual. Tuning back into the customer, after a struggle you take note of his order and begin working at the espresso machine, along with dropping Jaebeom’s tea bag into his mug. 

Today, he has decided on a book, but Jaebeom can’t help but look up from it ever so often considering the obnoxious way the man you had previously helped was staring at you. Maybe Jaebeom had stared at you a little too much that first time he came into the shop alone, but this was different. Along with that, the man was tapping his foot in clear annoyance at having to wait a single second for your drink. 

When you’re finally done with his latte, you placed it on the coffee bar in front of the man. Cautiously, he lifts it to his face and examines the clear, plastic to-go cup, letting out a sigh in disgust. 

“What is this?” 

Your eyes wandered over to Jaebeom, who had his eyes on his book. It was clear that this was about to be something, and you didn’t want him to hear it, “what do you mean?” 

Taking a sip from the cup, the man swallows harshly as if what he had just drunk could kill him immediately, “Are you an idiot? I said coconut, not almond. What if I had an allergy? What were you going to do if you killed me?” 

The man’s volume had gone from kind of loud to very loud all in one sentence. Most of the patrons in the café looking to see the exchange, “I-I’m sorry sir I could have sworn you said almond milk, but I can make you another one.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Oh so now you’re trying to blame your mistake on me. Your apologies wouldn’t have helped me if I was dead from you giving me almond milk instead of coconut.” 

“Do you have an allergy?” 

Both the man and you turned in surprise to Jaebeom sat at his table. Even Jaebeom himself felt surprised at his willingness to get involved, but he couldn’t listen to this man treat you like you were expendable or beneath him. Especially not when it was over something as stupid as milk. 

“Excuse me?” The man asked Jaebeom.

Standing up from his chair, Jaebeom approached the two of you at the coffee bar, “I said do you have an allergy? Or are you just rude to people on purpose?” 

The man looked between both you and Jaebeom, “what are you her boss? Her boyfriend who sticks around here to defend her whenever she gets things wrong and has to deal with it like an adult?” He snorted, “you both are pathetic.” 

Jaebeom didn’t say anything further, but instead just stared the man down. It was such an intense gaze and honestly a bit frightening. The man didn’t break contact with Jaebeom, but looked back at him – his face going from anger to something more neutral. Suddenly, nodding slowly while still looking at Jaebeom as if the latter had told him something or given him a task. 

“Are you sure about that?” Jaebeom asked with a slight smirk. 

“N-no,” the man stuttered.

“Then take your coffee and go.” 

Without another word or glance at you or Jaebeom, the rude man took his coffee from the counter and exited the café. It left you confused. 

Turning to face Jaebeom, he no longer had that intense, scary look on his face. Instead, he appeared to be more normal, “Um… thank you? I don’t know what just happened… but thanks I guess?”

Shyly, Jaebeom looked away from you and back to the table where he was seated earlier as if checking to see if his book was still there, “n-no proble-” You cut him off.

“But next time, I can handle it. I don’t need you to step in. It was nice, yeah but not all women are helpless and need a guy to sort things out for them.” 

Slowly, Jaebeom nodded his head, “right… sorry.” 

Rolling your eyes playfully, you walked around from behind the counter and approached him until you were right beside him. He was so attractive and despite seeming like the big bad wolf most of the time, he could also appear so small – childlike almost. And you don’t know why you do it, but you reach out to grab his hand. 

It feels different than what you’d expect. It’s cold, despite the oversized sweater he’s wearing, but somehow it soothes you rather than alarms you. Jaebeom on the other hand feels a little too much from your hand on his. 

“But thank you for being there for me Jaebeom.” 

It’s then that Jabeom knows he’s in too deep. He’s done too much and he needs to get out of this before it all suffocates him. He makes a promise to himself that this will be the last time he ever comes back to this café. 

Jaebeom looked at the time, he was supposed to meet Jinyoung and Bambam at a “new” bar downtown. He had gone to enough “new” places to last him three lifetimes, but somehow his friends hadn’t grown tired of it yet. He had roughly thirty minutes before he had to be there, and figured he could spare some time to go down the street to grab some tea. 

His right hand was already on the doorknob and his phone in the other before he remembered that he was no longer going to your café. He had caught himself doing this multiple times during the week he hadn’t seen you – grabbing his things, more than ready to come to sit in your coffee shop for hours, reading a book, and often chatting with you, but then he would stop himself. Distance. Distance was what he kept telling himself. He had already felt himself getting more attached to you in ways that he’s never been, but that didn’t matter. You weren’t who he was supposed to be with. 

Sighing, he turned the doorknob thinking that if he really wanted just tea, he could go to Starbucks the next street over before he has to be at the bar. Opening the door, Jaebeom sees the last thing he expected on the other side right now. You.

“H-hi,” based on your stuttered greeting, he could immediately tell that you were nervous to be at his front door. So why were you at his front door? 

“Um hi,” Jaebeom replied, looking down at his feet. 

Motioning your head forward to ask if you could come inside, Jaebeom willfully stepped to the side of the doorway to let you pass in front of him. 

Taking a look at the apartment, you pursed your lips, unsure of what to say or if it was weird to be here like this. You hadn’t seen him in a week which you at first thought was a little strange considering how consistently he had been coming in before that, but then you soon began overthinking. What if something was wrong? What if he was lying in a ditch somewhere? You couldn’t explain why you had such strong feelings regarding his wellbeing until it dawned on you that you liked him. 

Jaebeom had a mysterious, strange aura to him – one of the few employees you had commented on this about him early on, but where most people seemed to be intimidated you weren’t. That only made you feel more drawn in and intrigued to figure him out. Over the month that he had been coming to your café you had been learning about him – things he liked, things he disliked – and realized how similar the two of you were. Not only that, but that only helped your already present attraction grow. There was no denying that Jaebeom was stunning – it was the reason you were staring at him all the time. 

“Minji told me you lived here. Didn’t realize you were that close.” 

The two of you had discussed whereabouts you both lived and when he said nearby, you hadn’t expected him to only be a few blocks away from the café. 

Jaebeom doesn’t respond to your comment on the location of his apartment but instead presses on about perhaps the most important question in this situation.

“What are you doing here Y/N?” He didn’t intend for his tone to be so off and he hopes that you don’t think anything of it. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s just nervous that you’re here in his apartment. Laughing nervously, you answered him – still partly unsure of why you were here, but you had to come up with something viable besides “I was worried about you.”

“I just wanted to… thank you again for that customer last week.” 

You had already thanked him a hundred times over and he had accepted it, but after a while, Jaebeom had told you that if you thanked him again, he would never do anything nice for anyone ever again. A joke of course.

But here you were now – apparently – coming to where he lives to thank him for something you had already thanked him for and he told you to stop thanking him for. Yeah, that was a better explanation for showing up unannounced besides a simple “I was worried.”

Jaebeom shook his head, “like I said… It was nothing. That guy was a dick and I’m just glad I was there to help you deal with it… and be there for you,” he regretted adding the last part because it seems much too telling about how he is feeling emotionally. He doesn’t want to give off the wrong signal or vibe, because he really can’t afford to.

You sighed, looking around the state of his apartment and then back at him. There weren’t a lot of personal touches throughout, this in itself perplexed you considering the way that Jaebeom talked and described things made him seem like someone who cared about the little things. Someone who closely paid attention to details was observant and certainly would have things. But maybe you had etched him out in your mind as the wrong thing. Both the apartment and Jaebeom seemed to be in a state of perfection, nothing that would signal the chaos or a crisis you had been picturing him to be in the last week. Part of you feels let down.

“Have you been avoiding me?” 

Although you hadn’t been planning on a confrontation – to be completely frank you weren’t sure what you had been planning on – the words don’t seem to come out fast enough. You weren’t one to play games or deal with the back and forth if you were interested in someone and it shocks you that you were about to ignore the very obvious elephant in the room. Jaebeom didn’t want to see you… for some reason. 

Jaebeom swallows, he typically was honest – besides his hoe phase – but for some reason, he can’t bring it in himself to hurt your feelings, “No… I’m not avoiding you… I just- I’ve just been busy with stuff.” 

You cocked your head to the side, furrowing your eyebrows, “what kind of stuff?” 

“Listen Jaebeom-”

“Y/N I-”

You both laughed at your attempt to speak at the same time, reminding you of the very first time the two of you had spoken. Back when Jaebeom had come in to explain the alley situation. 

“Go ahead,” he shyly smiled, motioning you with his hand to continue your thought.

Taking a deep breath in, you decide now isn’t the time to beat around the bush. You were already here in his apartment, might as well tell him how you’re feeling. Clearing your throat, you continued, “Jaebeom… the reason I’m here is because I haven’t seen you in a week and I was worried. I thought something happened to you or maybe you were in trouble… Basically, my mind went into overtime and started thinking about every worst-case scenario possible. So, I started thinking… Why do I care so much about this brooding, gloomy, pale tall guy who can drink his weight in green tea? A-And I realized it’s because I like you Jaebeom.”

Wide-eyed, Jaebeom responded cautiously, not quite believing you're being this forward with him and you’ve felt the same kind of pull he’s been experiencing since he met you. So, he asked probably the dumbest question he can in disbelief, “D-do you mean like as a customer?” 

You giggled. It was cute seeing him so taken aback.

“No not as a customer. I don’t think I would be coming to where you live to tell you that you’re my favorite customer. I like you as like… a guy… that I like and want to be with.” 

Jaebeom mind goes hazy because he knows he shouldn’t want to, but he wants to hear you say it again. Over and over. 

You like him

His silence tortured you. While he certainly doesn’t look like he wanted to kick you out, he didn’t look pleased either. If anything, you could only best describe his reaction as indifference. Maybe that was the worse option. 

“C-can I sit down for a second?” He suddenly asked and you nodded unsure why he needed permission from you to sit down in his apartment. 

Jaebeom knows if he had a pulse, he’d be able to hear and feel it through every part of his body. It’s difficult to comprehend how he’s feeling because he can’t remember a time where he’s felt like this. His senses have always been good, but now it feels like they’re even more heightened. Jaebeom feels too aware of everything going on in the room, from the way the faucet in his kitchen drips slowly to the way your index finger nervously plays with the cuticle on your thumb. 

He’s also too aware of how quiet he’s being and how tense it must make you, but that’s only because he’s unsure of what to say. There’s so much he wants to stay, but he keeps holding himself back because it’s not the right thing to do.   

“Listen clearly this was a mistake because you’re not saying anything… A no would be better than whatever…,” you motioned to him breathing heavily on the couch, “this is. I’ll see you around Jaebeom.” Just as you turned around to leave, you felt his grasp on your wrist urging you to stop. You have to stop yourself from snorting at how cliché the moment feels. What was he about to say? “Don’t go”?  

“Y/N wait…” 

Equally, as cliché, you thought to yourself.

“What?” Your back is still to him and you're facing the door, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that you’re going to wait and listen to him, just because he asked. Jaebeom gently rubbed his thumb in circles on your wrist as if writing you a secret message that he can’t say out loud. His touch is cold but somehow refreshing and it shocked you just how out of character it feels for him to be doing this. Even Jaebeom himself is confused by his actions, considering he was just telling himself only a moment ago he needed to let this go.   

You maneuvered yourself to face him as he’s still seated on the couch, ready to tell him that you’re not here to play games. That weirdly enough you felt as though he had perhaps felt the same about you this past month… That there’s an undeniable connection you have for one another and even though you weren’t quite sure what it consisted of, you wanted to explore it. “I- 

You’re interrupted by another action that surprises the both of you. Jaebeom pulled you down onto the couch beside him, pressing his lips to yours. It takes you a second to react and Jaebeom wondered if this was too off guard for you, but he couldn’t take it. His body was no longer listening to his brain and it had been aching to touch you and do whatever it had to do to get you to stay by his side. 

Then everything happens at once, you exhaled into the kiss, bringing your arms around his neck and causing him to lay down on the sofa until you're completely on top of him. Your mouths fit together like two puzzle pieces that should have been brought together a long time ago. There’s nothing measured about the kiss. It’s desperate, both of you using this time and opportunity to express unsaid things to one another. 

Jaebeom feels so overcome with how good it feels just to kiss you. It gets him thinking about how good you probably taste and how it would feel to bite down on your very soft and delicate skin. Hearing the way your heart beats and your pulse under your skin only makes him crave it even more. Jaebeom gets so caught up in kissing you and the moment that he failed to realize that his fangs have come out until he can taste blood between the two of you.

Heavily breathing, you break apart of him to bring your hand up to your bottom lip. Even though you had felt the slight sudden sting when it happened, the small amount of blood on your hand still surprises you. Licking your lip, you looked at Jaebeom to joke about what a “freak” he was, but soon you're stopped short when you noticed his eyes. They’re the same hazel-maroon color that you had seen that night in the alley. You think you’re hallucinating. 

“Jaebeom?” you asked slowly unsure. It wasn’t like he could have put in contacts while the two of you had your mouths and hands all over each other. So, what the fuck was it? 

It’s as though he’s picked up on what you’re thinking and sends him into alert mode, instantly pushing you off of him. Sitting up, he turned his head away from you, “this was a mistake.” 

It’s as though he’s put a dagger through your heart, “mistake is kind of a strong word… don’t you think?” 

He still didn't turn to look at you, it made you feel like less of a human being, “Y/N… I don’t like you… okay? So yeah, mistake is the right word. I’m sorry if you thought that I did or if I did something to make you think that, but I don’t.” 

The words are just as painful to say as they are to hear. Jaebeom knows what he’s saying is a bald-faced lie, but you’re not his mate. His mate is… out there somewhere and there’s no point in getting emotionally attached to you like this – no matter how strong it feels. 

“Please never speak to me again and don’t come to the café. Bye Jaebeom.” 

And just like that you're gone. Out of his apartment just as quickly as you had come and Jaebeom’s left alone like he always is. He texted Bambam and Jinyoung to let them know that something came up and he won’t be meeting them tonight, because he didn’t deserve to go out. After that… after rejecting you and his feelings to make things easier, in the long run, he needed to be alone.

Jaebeom deserved to be alone. 

The last two days had been torture. Jaebeom had woken up feeling like complete and utter shit. He had a runny nose, his throat was as dry as any desert, coughing every moment of the day and running a temperature. He wondered if this was a sign that he was close to death.

Today, he had decided that it was probably best to finally get out of bed, despite how he was feeling. He needed to run to the hospital anyway to pick up more blood from his friend Youngjae who worked in the blood bank there. 

Jaebeom hadn’t, however, expected to run into Mark.

“Dude you do not look good,” Mark noted as soon as he saw him.

Jaebeom wanted to claw his eyes out because obviously, he doesn’t look good. He looked and felt like he was run over by a truck. 

“I know… that’s why I’m here. I think I’m just dehydrated so I came to get more blood from Youngjae in the lab.” 

Mark nodded knowingly, “yeah I just came from there. Have to keep my secret stash at the bar stocked somehow,” he laughed and then paused, studying Jaebeom once again, “you really think you’re just dehydrated?” 

Jaebeom sniffled, “I mean I don’t know what else it would be… I haven’t been sick since way before I turned. Vampires don’t really get sick,” he whispered the last part in case there was anyone nearby listening in. 

“They don’t… ever, but I’ve never seen a dehydrated Vampire run an actual temperature.” 

Jaebeom took a step away from him in surprise, “how did you know I had a temperature.” 

Mark rolled his eyes, “Jaebeom you don’t look normal. You don’t look like you’re just here to pick up from Youngjae, you look like you should be a patient.” 

He’s not sure what to do with this assessment, because he knows it’s weird that he has a temperature and all the symptoms of the flu when he’s never known another vampire to get sick like this.

“I get it okay? Can I just go get my blood now?” Jaebeom asked, but not before coughing into his elbow. 

“Jaebeom… you didn’t-” Mark began, but he stopped himself, “nevermind.” 

Typically, Jaebeom would just ignore the attempt in saying something and continue with his day, but for some reason, he felt like he should press Mark into finishing his thought. It’s not often that Mark says a lot, “What is it?” 

Suddenly, Mark looked uneasy and avoided Jaebeom’s gaze, bringing his hand to massage the back of his neck awkwardly, “you didn’t meet your mate yet, did you?” 

Jaebeom frowned realizing he shouldn’t have pushed because he didn’t want to be tortured by his friends once again about this “mate” talk, especially not when he felt like his body was turning against him. Then he remembers that this is Mark and Mark very rarely talks about mates. If he does it’s always rushed or awkward and not at all an easy subject for the older boy. 

“I- no… I haven’t.” 

Mark nodded his head slowly, “I was just wondering because… a lot of the time if you meet your mate and you don’t act on it, your body can retaliate.” 

Jaebeom had somewhat heard about this before, but he hadn’t known anyone who had gone through it. It was another mate thing that he had just assumed was folklore or exaggeration, but surely that’s not what this was. 

Shifting his weight on both feet uncomfortably, Mark continued, “I just- when I first met Hana and she kept pushing me away… I also got sick. It was kind of like how you are now. I remember thinking it was really strange and didn’t make sense, but our distance was what caused it. Some people get migraines and some people just straight up get sick.”

He was at a loss for words. How could he have met his mate already and he didn’t even know?

“Is there anyone that you’ve felt drawn to? Or close to?” 

Jaebeom immediately thought of you, but there was no way. The times he had tried his hypnotism on you, you hadn’t stopped looking at him. You had just stared at him and he had been the one to look away first. It just didn’t make sense. 

“I- well the girl at the café. I’ve felt close to her, drawn to her like I can’t breathe when she’s around, but she was affected by the trance. So, I know it’s not her. I mean I even had this weird vision that night I met her for the first time, but-”

Mark’s eyes widen, abruptly cutting Jaebeom off, “what kind of vision?” 

He shrugged, “I don’t know… it was just normal stuff? I didn’t even see myself. I just heard myself, but she was at my apartment just sitting on the couch. A daydream.” 

“How did it make you feel?” 

“I- Like it had happened before. A memory or something.” 

Mark doesn’t say anything in response and that makes Jaebeom panic. 

“W-what?” he stuttered. Deep down Jaebeom knew exactly what Mark was going to say next, but he wasn’t sure if it made him over the moon happy or nervous.

“Jaebeom, she’s your mate.” 

Knock Knock Knock

You weren’t in the mood to see anyone. After your encounter with Jaebeom you had not only come down with a slight cold, but you weren’t emotionally ready to talk to someone. It was best to pretend that you were asleep. 

However, that didn’t work and the knocking only continued.

Knock Knock Knock

Soon there was talking on the other side of the door and it wasn’t difficult to figure out who it was as soon as you heard the voice. 

Jaebeom.

Due to the barrier, it was challenging to understand if he was talking to you through the door if he was talking to himself. Either way, you continued to ignore whatever he was saying and his knocking. He would leave soon enough.

“Y/N?” 

It’s the way he says your name that almost has you getting up off the chair and walking the short distance to the door of your small studio apartment. He sounded so weak and so unlike himself. But no. You couldn’t. You couldn’t be the weak one and open the door after the way he had rejected you. 

It wasn’t like you to feel like this. You were never one to feel hurt or dwell on a guy after you had been rejected or told “no.” This, however, felt very different than what you were used to. The denial from him felt heavy and consuming – it was too much and not just something you could push to the back of your mind. It was like it was always there – when you were watching TV, taking a shower, putting away groceries – and it was worse when you were asleep. In every single dream you had, Jaebeom was there. Your body and mind were putting you through tremendous torture it never had before with other guys, and you weren’t sure why. 

Jaebeom tried again, “Y/N?” 

His knocking continued, but they sounded more forceful – almost as though he was frustrated. You, however, weren’t sure what right he had to be angered by you. 

“Go away Jaebeom,” you managed to croak out, staring at the door. 

Jaebeom on the other side of the door felt his entire body relax. He figured that this had to be a positive sign. He had come over here thinking that worst-case scenario you would say nothing and ignore him completely. He knew you were home from the beginning, he could feel that you were inside. “Y/N, please… I-I need to talk to you. It’s important.” 

That aggravated you and before you can comprehend what you’re doing, you’re standing in front of him with the door open, “oh important? That completely changes everything. Right this way your highness.” 

He took in the annoyed look on your face and the way you rolled your eyes so hard he thought they were going to permanently remain in the back of your head. It was difficult for Jaebeom to discern whether you were going to let him in or if you were going to slam the door right in his face. 

“Y/N… I know I don’t deserve anything from you, but I think you deserve it to yourself to hear me out.” 

You cocked your head to the side, questioningly, “I deserve it to myself? Jaebeom did you watch a bunch of 90s romcoms before you came over here? Come on,” your grip was firmly on the edge of the door, about to shut it in his face – but his foot stops at the door and he looked at you forcefully.

“What are you doing?” you asked, averting his gaze, but he doesn’t answer you right away. 

With the pending door slam in front of him, Jaebeom had instinctively put his leg forward realizing that this was perhaps his last chance. He wanted to try one more time, “Y/N.. please look at me.” 

The pleading tone caused you to look at him, not to obey him but out of annoyance, “look at you? Sorry, Jaebeom but I thought I told you that I didn’t want to see you again, so why should I look at you?” 

With your eyes are on him, he tried again. He tried to place you in a trance the few times he had before where you had kept staring at him. Staring into your eyes deeply, his mouth moved slightly no words emerging, it caused you to roll your eyes again and look away from him, completely fed up. 

Jaebeom felt his mouth drop.

“Did you just… look away?” 

Letting out a bitter laugh, you replied, “Yes I looked away. Is that okay with you oh great and powerful king?” You didn’t know why you kept it up with these royal insults. 

Jaebeom was at a loss for words. You had done it. You hadn’t been affected by hypnosis. It was like a piece of him had always known that you were his mate, but for some reason, he needed this final confirmation.

“I- Y/N you- I need to tell you something,” he placed his hand on your wrist once again, and there it was. There was a weakness for him that you had been so greatly trying to fight off. Without another word, you gently tugged your wrist away from him, pushed the door open, and turned around silently, going back into your apartment. 

Jaebeom stood there for a moment, wondering if he should go inside. He figured that you leaving the door ajar for him was a good sign. A sign that he was somewhat welcome and you were willing to hear what he had to say.

He shut the door behind him and joined you where you stood in the living room. Your back was turned to him, arms crossed and secretly hoping that he wouldn’t say anything that’d make you drop your guard, but also secretly hoping that he would.

“I know there’s no way I can explain myself for… for the way that I’ve acted, but all I ask now is that you listen to me. You don’t have to say anything.” 

Quickly, you turned around to face him, “what am I to you? Some girl you can play with and expect to just be ready to sit silently and listen when you finally decide to come around? You look terrible by the way.” 

It was true. He had dark circles under his eyes, the skin under his nose was red and irritated from the many times he’s had to blow his nose into a tissue, eyes watery. Jaebeom though already felt better standing here with you – from just being close to you.

He studied your face and noticed that you too had a few signs of a cold – not nearly as bad as his, but for some reason, it made his stomach flip, “I know I do. You don’t look that great either.”

Letting out a laugh that can be stopped, “I always look good.”

Looking at the ground, then back up at you, Jaebeom smiled, “You do.” 

It’s difficult to put a halt to the way your cheeks heat up from his confirmation, but you attempted to overshadow it with a suddenly angered furrowing of your eyebrows, arms still crossed, “say what you need to say so badly Jaebeom.” 

Taking a deep breath, he shifted his weight from foot to foot until he felt settled and comfortable, “I-I don’t typically do this. The whole share your feelings things – which I’m going to get too… but first I need to tell you something about that night. The night you saw me in the alley with that girl.” 

You frowned, “Is that what this whole thing is about? Did you reject me because of that girl? I get it Jaebeom, you don’t have to come all the way here to explain that to me. Could have been said better via text or Twitter or mail even.” 

Instantly, he shook his head to express firm denial, “It has nothing to do with her. I-It’s about what you saw…” 

“The kink thing?” 

He chuckled, “Sure. It’s not a-not a kink thing,” he swallowed another deep breath, “okay the thing I’m going to say next might shock you. You probably won’t even believe me… but I need you to trust me.” 

“Oh, you think you’ve earned my trust?” 

Jaebeom suddenly moved himself to stand near the couch, suddenly positioning himself down onto it and you watched him nervously fiddle with the loose thread on the hem of his shirt. 

“I was going to bite her for her blood. To feed off of her.” 

You looked at him with wide eyes, “excuse me?”

Clearing his throat, he continued in the effort to explain and reveal the true him to you, “I’m undead.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment which worried Jaebeom, but he remembered it was only natural. To him he had known about all of the supernatural and unexplainable phenomena for nearly two centuries, you – a mere human – hadn’t. 

Sitting down beside him, you opened your mouth and then firmly shut it closed. In your head, you were trying to connect all the dots and wondered if this was another way for Jaebeom to play with your feelings, but the emotion in his eyes shook you. They told you that he was telling you the truth. 

“Like a vampire?” 

Slowly, he nodded his head, “exactly like a vampire.” 

To a certain degree, it made sense. The unexplainable maroon eyes in the alley, even when the two of you had kissed over at his apartment. The fangs you had seen, the way he had drawn blood from your bottom lip. It even explained the way he had dealt with the rude customer who had just decided to leave the café willingly despite his earlier crass behavior. Almost like he had been under a spell.

A few minutes went by, and that’s when Jaebeom began to grow more nervous. It was unlike him to feel like this and he found himself soon saying anything and everything just to take up the silent space and convince you.

“I- I know it’s crazy. Seriously. But I- ugh this is hard to explain… well I mean I guess just as hard to explain as the whole vampire thing, but we’re meant to have mates. Someone that we’re meant to be with forever and complete this missing piece of ourselves. I never found mine and was beginning to think that it was never going to happen to me… but then I met you and I felt this pull towards you, but then the hypnotism and-”

Suddenly you spoke, waving your hand in front of you, “hold on wait a second, back up. Hypnotism?” 

“I- uh yeah so basically we all have this hypnotic ability to put people in a trance and it’s always been said that your mate is the only one who can break that trance. I mean there are other ways to tell if someone is your mate, but that’s the most apparent one so when I tried to put you in a trance you didn’t look away and-”

Once again, you cut him off, “you tried to hypnotize me?” His mouth went dry, “um yeah… because I already felt a weird connection to you, so I thought I’d try to see if you’d be unaffected by it, but you were.” 

Shaking your head, “Jaebeom I was looking at you all those times because I thought you were good looking and I was trying to make that apparent.” 

“Huh?” 

You rolled your eyes, “It’s a way for normal people to sometimes let someone know that they’re attracted to them. A-and you were just so breathtakingly beautiful that I-” You stopped yourself short, not wanting to play your hand. Jaebeom, however instantly understood where you were going with your unfinished thought and smiled, warmed at your admittance – he felt the same way about you. 

“So, then I began to get scared. I was scared because I thought that you weren’t my mate, but I still felt this instant pull towards you. An attraction and desire that I had never felt before. In the beginning, I tried my best to ignore the feelings I had, but I still couldn’t steer myself away from you. Then I started going to the café and spending as much time as I could with you, trying to get to the bottom as to why I felt like I needed you in my life in any capacity if you weren’t my mate. That made it worse – spending time with you made me feel even closer to you, which worried me. Here I was, waiting for my supposed mate, but I could care less about whoever they were, I just wanted you. My friends gave me a hard time and that day at the café with that customer, I realized I needed to distance myself from you.”

His words softened you. You were still upset and angry, even a little confused because, in reality, you were still having a bit of trouble following this whole vampire mate thing. Still, every word Jaebeom said sent a course throughout your body and warmed your heart. It felt like there was no other place in the world you were supposed to be besides right here next to him. The time you hadn’t seen him had taken a clear toll on you emotionally and physically, but only a few moments with him now made you feel lightyears better. 

Jaebeom continued, “It didn’t work though… I kept thinking about you nonstop and I still had this feeling in me that I needed to come to see you. Then when you came over and told me how you felt about me. I didn’t care in the moment about all the mate stuff. I just wanted to show you how I was feeling… even if I was too much of a coward to tell you. Kissing you was probably… the best thing I’ve done in the 200 years I’ve been around. But then I got scared again. This vampire stuff can be… a lot and I just remembered what I was supposed to be doing and who I was supposed to be – so I stopped kissing you and the moment I did, it felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. I-I know that I’ve been a jerk and I’ve been a scared little boy who doesn’t deserve you, but I know now that you’re my mate. And I feel so stupid that I needed the hypnotic break thing to finally confirm it when every single part of me knew the whole time – from the moment I first saw you on the morning of my birthday.”

“Did you say 200 years?” 

He laughed, “Is that all you got from all that?”  

Quietly, you responded, “No. That’s not all.” 

“I know this is all crazy, I know that you’re probably still mad at me, but I know you’re the one I’m supposed to be with. A-and I’m sorry that it took me this long to realize it because it could have saved us a whole lot of time and pain.”

“And green tea bags.” 

He smiled, “Yes, so many free green teas you’d never let me pay for,” he paused and his face turned downward into a frown, “but seriously… I understand if you don’t want this. It’s a lot and I hurt you. It can be hard to be suddenly told that you have a lifelong mate you’re supposed to be with forever and it’s also the person who was a dick to you.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Are you trying to get rid of me? Are you trying to get me to reject you?” 

His eyes widened, “N-no.” 

Nodding, “Okay good… Because unlike you Im Jaebeom, I have more class and I’m not going to kiss you and tell you I don’t want you. One of us already made that mistake… which I will happily let go of if you stop calling me your mate.” 

Jaebeom was confused by your response. You were willing to let go and forgive him for how he had treated you, but you didn’t want to be his mate? “What do you mean?” 

You scrunched up your nose in disgust, “Mate just sounds so gross and primitive. Soulmate sounds much better to me.” 

With that, he smiled, and Jaebeom felt like he could breathe once again – for the first time in forever, “Soulmate it is.” 

It was strange. This feeling of having the person you’re meant to be with right in front of you. Someone else could say that you were stupid for just accepting this, for blindly forgiving him and giving into this notion of being each other’s person. But to them, you would say “fuck off,” because all you felt was an overwhelming sense of luck that you could feel like that for another person. For Jaebeom.

“Please kiss me now, but don’t let me go this time.” 

He gave you a gentle look, reaching his hand forward to push a strand of hair that had fallen, behind your ear, “Never again,” moving his hand from your hair, he brought it to instead cup your cheek, leaning forward to peck your lips.

You kissed him again softly, opening your mouth without hesitation when his tongue lightly grazed your bottom lip, reminding you of the first kiss the two of you had shared. The sweet, slow kisses full of love and admiration soon began to grow hot, both of you feeling overwhelmed in being so close with one another. 

Before you could stop yourself, you felt the need to be even closer, climbing onto his lap, adjusting your weight, and pressing yourself against his crotch. You do a swivel of your hips, making Jaebeom leer. “Some payback,” you murmured against his lips, causing him to playfully pinch you where his hands rest on your hips. They then slowly slide their way down, caressing your thighs before settling onto your backside. Instinctively, it causes you to rock your hips in response, making something in Jaebeom to snap. No longer does he feel timid, but instead he has this urge to please you, to just make you feel good and let you know just how much you mean to him now that he’s found you. 

Jaebeom leans even further forward, roughly kissing you, causing your mouth to fall open into a silent moan, something he takes advantage of. His tongue quickly finding yours, making you tug on his hair playfully.   

Pulling away for air, lips swollen and thoroughly kissed, Jaebeom’s mouth aches, but he thinks of how good it feels. 

“What does it feel like?” you breathed, still trying to catch air into your lungs. 

He furrowed his eyebrows, his gaze still locked on your lips, he wets his own. “What does what feel like?” 

It felt strange to grow shy all of a sudden, especially since you had just been sucking faces with the man in front of you, grinding down on his lap, but for some reason you do because of your sudden curiosity, “the bite.” 

Jaebeom felt his cock twitch in his pants and he gives you a cocky smile that goes straight to your core, “I can show you… if you want, I mean.” 

“Okay,” at your confirmation, Jaebeom lifts you off of him, and flips the two of you until you’re laying down with your back pressed on the couch and his body on top of yours, “it might sting at first… but I promise you that it’ll go away after a second or two, and you’ll feel something else.” 

Stitching your eyebrows together, you asked him, “what will I feel?” 

He feels awkward saying it, but he knows being honest is the only option and now that he has you like this there’s no room for being awkward. 

“Some people say it’s close to what an orgasm feels like.”

“Uh.. damn…” you drifted off. 

Jaebeom licked his lips nervously, “i-is it okay still?” 

You nodded your head a little too vigorously which causes him to laugh, “yes it’s very much still okay. I want to know.” 

Gently, Jaebeom uses his index finger to trail up and down your neck, pushing the hair that falls there away. It causes you to shiver and he looks at you with alarm for a moment, but you give him a signal that you’re okay. Just looking at your delicate skin is enough to have Jaebeom’s mouth water. The scent that fills his nose is heavenly and he thinks about how thankful he is that he’ll get to have this forever. Or… hopefully forever.

Leaning forward, Jaebeom presses a kiss against your skin, not wanting to scare you right off the bat. He can hear how your pulse has picked up and he brings his hand to the side of your hips, soothingly rubbing it up and down in an attempt to get you to relax. Taking a large inhale and exhale to calm yourself down, he feels satisfied enough to bring his mouth to the juncture of where your neck and shoulder meet. Baring his fangs, he sinks his teeth into the skin, letting the taste settle on his tongue. The intrusion into your skin causes you to let a gasp out, feeling a bit of the stinging that Jaebeom was talking about. Without even realizing it, he lets out a groan. 

“You taste so good.”

You on the other hand felt pain straight away from the moment he broke the skin. The acute and sharp prickling throughout your body soon began to fade away as he had promised and the sudden emergence of pleasure washed throughout you. It felt like nothing you had ever experienced before – certainly not in any other sexual situation – but it caused you to let a soft moan slip from your lips. Jaebeom smiling against the skin at your noise. 

He took another pull of blood from your body, nearly making you lightheaded as you felt the blood he couldn’t catch, trickle down your neck until it met your white t-shirt, but you didn’t care. 

When he’s finished, Jaebeom swiped his tongue over the bite marks on your neck. It caused you to wince a little from the sting, but also the sudden disappearance of the feeling that you were so greatly getting used to and enjoying. Jaebeom pulled back, you getting a better look at his face. 

His fangs shined with blood. Your blood. You can’t help yourself before you’re pulling him forward to bring his lips to yours – the metallic-like taste being shared between the two of you. 

When he broke apart from you, Jaebeom leaned down again, kissing the spot he had punctured to soothe it, then trailing kisses over your collarbones, listening to the erratic beat of your heart. As he removed your blood-stained shirt, he realized how much he missed the sound of a beating heart as it occurred to him that he would be completely satisfied here on top of you all day listening to yours, relishing in it. The pulsating of your heart was enough to make him feel human again. 

You arched your back as he placed kisses across your chest, reaching behind to remove your bra, whimpering at the trail he leaves behind. His tongue finds your nipple, teasing you until the nub hardens, you finding it difficult to muffle moans behind the hand you have in front of your lips. He switched to the other breast while Jaebeom’s hand trailed down your body to find the waistband of your shorts. Perhaps in another situation, you would be embarrassed by the ratty, worn out shorts that were typically reserved for being at home, but at this moment you didn’t care. You were still feeling the after-effects from Jaebeom blood draw and desperate for him – even going as far as considering to ask him to drink from you again. For now, instead, you bucked your hips upwards in a silent plea which Jaebeom obliged. 

He feels like he can’t help himself, sliding the material down your legs slowly and with care, already loving how impatient you’re growing. The shorts pooled at your ankles and you somehow manage to kick them off yourself in the position you’re in, whispering his name. Jaebeom’s right hand comes up to graze the wet spot forming in your underwear, while his other hand spreads your legs a bit wider. “Jaebeom…” you panted, your own hands coming down to tug down your panties, not being able to wait another moment. 

Jaebeom kisses down your navel and towards your center. Looking back up, he silently asked for permission although knowing how much you both wanted this, but he wanted to hear you say it. “Jaebeom, please,” you cooed, voice soft and quiet. The first swipe of his tongue has you shivering, the second swipe giggling in delight and the third caused your hands to find shelter in his hair, fisting the strands and biting back moans. 

With the pad of his thumb, he pressed gentle circles against your clit causing you to jerk at the more direct contact, but it’s wholly welcomed. You throw your head into the back of the couch nearly hitting it against the arm of the sofa. He lapped at your core with his tongue, thumb ceasing contact in favor of sinking a single digit inside of you. You bit down on the bottom of your lip hard, fisting his hair a little tighter. “I want to hear you Y/N, let me hear you,” Jaebeom spoke up, bringing his mouth to your clit and sucking harshly. You let a moan slip, pitch escalating as his index finger meets his middle. Jaebeom spread his fingers, making a scissoring motion, and then switching to simple curling and stroking. Once he established a good rhythm, he picked up the pace, pumping. He alternated between licking around his fingers as the pressed deep inside of you, with his tongue working to flick against your clit while his fingers pumped in and out.

Suddenly you felt it, your pants getting heavier and your chest heaving as you began to lose yourself. “There,” you announced, the familiar feeling beginning to coil in your stomach, thighs quivering. You felt extremely close but just needed a little more. 

Jaebeom must have sensed your impending orgasm, latching onto your clit, and having his fingers massage that special spot until you can’t help but cry out his name. At your release, he coaxed you through it, fingers slowing while placing kisses against your inner thighs. He pulled out his fingers when you come down from your high, wiping them against his clothes.

“That’s gross,” you breathed out jokingly. 

He slinked his way up your body until you’re face to face once again, “I drank your blood and that’s the thing you think is gross?” 

Laughing, you stared up at him for a moment and think about how this was it. Even though you didn’t even know you had been searching for your soulmate or the fact that you even had one – everything felt right now that you had it. Just being next to him felt so natural as though you had been looking for him this entire time, but you didn’t know it. He was yours. Jaebeom was all yours and it was suddenly now the most satisfying thing in the world. He shared another sweet smile with you as he reached his hand towards where your hair cascaded and was fanned out on the couch, passing through the strands gently. 

You felt another wave of lust and want course through you. Needing nothing more than for Jaebeom to know how you made him feel. Reaching forward, your hands went to the front of his pants, stroking him lightly through the rough material of his jeans. Unfastening them, you tugged them down, your hands quickly skimming past the waistband of his black boxer briefs in favor of grasping his hard length. You gave him one long stroke, from base to tip, twisting your wrist once you get to the head. 

Jaebeom let out a groan when you swiped the tip with your thumb, collecting a bit of pre-cum and using it to lubricate your hand, stroking him once more. Tightening your grip, you leaned forward to press an open-mouthed kiss on his jawline, sucking lightly. He gripped at your wrist, pulling the hand away. You felt a sense of panic wash over your body, wondering if you were doing something wrong or if he had changed his mind. 

He can’t change his mind I’m his fucking soulmate, you attempted to assure yourself. 

He kissed away your worries, standing up off the couch to fully remove his pants and underwear. Jaebeom’s about to lay himself back on top of you, until he suddenly stopped and looked at you, then around the room as if searching for something.

“Is everything okay?” 

He looked back to you and he can’t help but lick his lips at how beautiful you look for him, naked and laid out, ready and aching to be touched. Jaebeom just hoped you could solve his problem so he could get back to his regularly scheduled program of wrecking you on this couch. 

“Do you have a condom?”

At his words, you propped yourself up on the couch using your elbows and looked at him surprised, “you don’t have one?” 

Shaking his head, he looked shyly at the floor, “no. I don’t do this anymore… Since I didn’t think there was a point unless I met my mate.” 

“And you didn’t think to have any on hand in case you met her?” 

“I was pretty hopeless before I met you, so to be completely honest I had kind of given up… Besides, I thought if I did meet her, I would be able to like run to the grocery store or something before,” Jaebeom brought his hand to the back of his neck, massaging it.

You rolled your eyes at him playfully, “well lucky for you big boy I’m on the pill. So…” you brought your hand down on the couch, patting it as if signaling him to hop up, “get at it.” He looked at you questioningly, as if this were a test, “are you sure?” 

The teasing, playful demeanor you had on before suddenly shifted and softly you looked at him, “you’re going to be mine forever and I’m going to be yours. I trust you. One hundred percent Jaebeom.” 

Jaebeom felt the biggest smile stretch onto his face, almost as if he were going to tear the muscles, but frankly, he didn’t care. Without another word, he crawled back onto the couch, positioning himself on top of you, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to your lips, hands skimming up your thighs. The anticipation of feeling his length against you, so close to where you need him, you can already feel your body grow ready for this second round. Instinctively, your hand moved forward to teasingly stroke him a few more times before guiding the tip of his cock into your warmth. 

He moved slowly at first, the stretch leaving your nerves buzzing. Jaebeom’s breath hitched as your walls clenched around him, and in any other situation – perhaps his sleeping around days – he would snap his hips forward and selfishly please himself. Instead, the only thing in his mind is how much he wants for you to feel good, for you to feel taken care of and loved.   

You on the other hand have a different idea of how you’re feeling. Never had you experienced anything like this – Jaebeom was barely moving, but you already felt this enormous pressure within yourself that could be relieved at any moment. It was cliché, but you felt your bodies meet one another and fit together so perfectly as if they were meant to be – which they were. You wanted to feel every inch of him, but the feeling was too overwhelming and good that you wanted him fucking into you at a brutal pace. You want to continue to feel him in every single bone, nerve, and part of your body as fast and as hard as possible. Circling your legs around him, reeling him in, your arms followed soon after, trying to get him closer. “Jaebeom, please move,” you pleaded. 

Jaebeom managed to keep his weight off of you to not crush you but still stayed as close as he could. “You feel so good,” he murmured to you because it’s the truth. Steadily he thrust in and out, continuing on his original plan to take his time to make you fall apart.

But it still wasn’t enough for you, “Jaebeom I need you to fuck me. Don’t hold anything back. Please.” As if he doesn’t comprehend your words, you try to express it in your physicality as well by bucking your hips up forward towards him. He laughed, “Okay, okay I get it.” 

Your giggling at his words is cut short as Jaebeom builds up his rhythm, his head leaning down until it rests in the crook of your neck, lips finding that place on your neck and sucking softly. It still feels sensitive from earlier and you let out a moan at how good it feels – the pain and pleasure. 

“You feel so good,” he groaned into your shoulder, “Made for me, just like I’m made for you.” Jaebeom’s pace soon becomes unbearable, but in all of the right ways. Every moment he fucked into you, you felt more and more whimpers leaving your mouth. His thrusting so brutal, you could feel the entire couch shake. That familiar feeling from earlier is back, bubbling up to the surface as he hits that spot in you over and over again, but you feel like it won’t be enough. Like you need something else from him.

“Y-your teeth, please I need them,” you practically sobbed out. 

Still against your neck, you can feel Jaebeom smile, his mouth ghosting over the skin once again, “wow you like it that much?” The tone is a mixture of teasing and disbelief and I made you let out another groan. 

Without another word, Jaebeom grazed his fangs against the skin, next to his first original wound. Puncturing the skin, he sunk his teeth in, lips closing as he drank from you once again, swallowing a mouthful of warm blood. The pleasure of it was just as dizzying as it was previously, your cries going soft and broken at the feeling. All the while, his fast-rhythmic pace didn’t let up, somehow fucking into you even harder as he continued to take another pull from you. 

The lightheadedness began to come back the more he drank from you, but it somehow took you to an even more euphoric state, the feeling of your climax only around the corner. It’s the final few thrusts against your g-spot and his words that send you toppling over into your second orgasm. 

“You are so fucking good for me. Taking my teeth and my cock so well. Cum for me Y/N.”

You clenched around him until the two of you were practically flush with one another, bucking your hips up and arching your back a final time to meet his thrusts which begin to grow sloppy. Throbbing around him, you’re brought to your release, the strongest one you had ever felt in your life. You were seeing stars and felt the euphoric sensation of pleasure take control of your body. Jaebeom himself felt it as well, being pulled to the edge by feeling you so snug, complete around him and watching you fall apart – the way your head goes back, your toes curl, and the whimpers that left your mouth. 

The two of you took a moment to catch your breaths, collecting yourselves over the immense pleasure you had both just felt. It was shocking really. 

“People always said sex with your mate was different… but I-I really didn’t expect that,” Jaebeom breathed out after a moment. 

You turned to your side to face him with the small room that you had on the sofa, “soulmate.” 

Smiling, he leaned forward to kiss you on the tip of your nose, “you’re right. Sorry.” 

Nodding your head slowly, you agreed with him about his previous statement, “yeah… that was- wow. I can’t believe we get to do that as many times as we want now.” 

He bit his tongue before he had the chance to say that the two of you had forever to engage in passionate lovemaking, but he thinks about Mark and his soulmate. That was a conversation for another day and another time, right now he was just so grateful that he had you now, like this, in this moment. 

“I think I’m going to love you for a long time Mr. Im,” you smiled. 

He smiled back, kissing you on the forehead and placing his arm around you until you’re flush against his bare chest. “I know I’m going to love you for a long time.”  

Fixing himself another green tea in his kitchen, Jaebeom smiled at the sight in front of him – a sight that he had seen before. You curled up on his couch, a large white cable knit blanket weighing down on top of you and a face of concentration, watercolors in hand.

“Painting really?”

You glanced up from your painting to look at him, smiling. 

He knows the words before you even say them, “Looks like I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands so… might as well get good at something.” 

Jaebeom laughs, “Okay but watercolors?” You laughed at his question, him still not used to how much he loves to hear it – like he could pass out at any moment from how addicting and melodic it is.

“Let the artist work Im Jaebeom! She needs to get good enough to live off auction house money once her paintings get sold! Shh!” He shakes his head at how determined you are, although you had once long ago told him how you weren’t the creative type. Pouting, you shook your head, smiling, and suddenly moved your tools away from you onto the coffee table. You lifted half the blanket off of you and patted the space of the couch beside you, “you know I can’t say no when you give me that face. Come here.” 

He brings the two cups of green tea in his hands from the kitchen and sets them down on the coffee table beside the paint. Sitting down beside you, he tugs the blanket over his lap, close to you, and brings his arm around your shoulders. You rested your head down onto his shoulder and closed your eyes. 

The two of you are quiet for a moment, just enjoying the simplicity and feeling that comes with being together.

Opening your eyes and lifting your head, you turned to look at him, smiling. “I love you.” 

This time he doesn’t hesitate to say it because he knows it’s the truth. 

“I love you. Forever.” 

“What does it look like? I’m here for the vintage YSL asshole!” 

He’s learned by now that it’s better to let him do his thing – whatever that may mean. So instead of following Bambam, he plopped down onto the same couch he’s had for nearly 15 years. “You know when I first bought that shirt it wasn’t considered vintage!”

Jaebeom waited for a response, but instead, he was met with silence. After a few moments – many of them thinking about how maybe it was time to replace the couch – he felt his “vintage” YSL button-down hit him in the face. 

He groaned; the impact was surely going to create wrinkles in the material he tried to keep in pristine condition. It was ironic since he was often heard making fun of how much Bambam cared about clothes, but Jaebeom liked to keep his things nice. “Bam I just got it back from getting cleaned a couple of days ago.”

“Put it on.” 

The tone of his friend’s voice seemed rather impatient. If he had closed his eyes, Jaebeom would have thought he was talking to Jinyoung or even himself. 

“Why do I need to put it on? It’s 8 in the morning; where are we going?”

“Um excuse me? Did you forget what day it was? Now come on, we’re meeting Jinyoung at that new café down the street in fifteen.”

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, trying to picture the café on the mental map he keeps in his mind, “the one that used to be a video store in the 90s?”

Bambam made his way into the living room, picking up a few glasses that rested on the coffee table Jaebeom’s feet were on top of, and marched over to the small kitchen. Jaebeom has lived in this apartment more years than he’d like to admit, especially because enough time had passed that the neighbors he had were clearly aging and he just stayed 26. The thought of moving somewhere new often enters his mind, but with this place, he just can’t bring it in himself to go quite yet. It’s almost as though something is tying him to this city, this place – like he’s waiting for something.

“Yes, and a speakeasy in the 20s both of which are not important right now because we live in the 21st century Jaebeom. Now come on, Jinyoung’s waiting – that asshole is always early.” 

He heard Bambam mumble something along the lines of known him 100 years, would it kill him to just be on time for once, as he furiously dropped the glasses on the kitchen counter.

“Do I have to go?” 

Bambam paused his motions of putting Jaebeom’s dirty dishes into the sink to stare the older vampire down, “Jaebeom you only turn 200 once.” 

He scoffed in response, “Jesus don’t remind me.”

“We have to make a whole day of it! So please just put the shirt on, because I want you looking presentable,” he stopped in the middle of his sentence, suddenly wiggling his eyebrows, “you never know what could happen.” The final word is drawn out, almost sing-song like and it drives Jaebeom up the wall because he knows exactly what Bambam is referencing.

For Jaebeom and those like Jaebeom, they didn’t consider the day they were born as their birthday, but instead as the day they turned. There was no point in celebrating their birth anymore as they were no longer alive. However, at this point after 200 birthdays, – alive and dead combined - Jaebeom was beginning to believe that there was no point to those either. He always knew being immortal was a curse but day by day that idea was only solidifying itself in his mind.  

Jaebeom let out a gruff breath which only made Bambam look up from the fork he was scrubbing, “Bam I don’t know what you think is going to happen today… but it certainly isn’t that.” 

The “that” he was referencing was one of the main factors that as of late had made him feel like living forever was indeed a waste. It was the thing that was supposed to make him feel “complete.” According to old texts and traditional vampire folklore, he was now walking around half full, but once he met his mate, he would become whole. At first, he didn’t believe the tale. He had gotten by so far without a mate that the idea of him not being complete made him laugh. But watching both Bambam and Jinyoung find their mates – Bambam 70 years ago and Jinyoung 16 years ago – made him finally acknowledge and reflect on the piece of himself he was missing. 

And fuck he was lonely. 

Bambam chuckled at him as if being in on his own personal joke. His friend was strange like that sometimes, “just put the shirt on Jaebeom.” 

By the time he’s had the shirt on and Bambam has somehow convinced him to let him wear his Rolex he got as a gift from his friend Jackson in 1920, Jaebeom feels mentally prepared to leave the house and embark on this dreadful day. The reminder that he has now been around for 200 years and still is not whole.

“Finally,” Jinyoung sighed when Jaebeom and Bambam finally reached the café down the street, “I’ve been waiting 20 minutes.” 

A disgruntled Bambam checks his watch, “well if you don’t want to wait every single time, don’t be so fucking early,” he promptly turned to Jaebeom to share his grief regarding their friend, “you think he would learn after all this time.” 

“Let’s just go order,” Jaebeom shrugged, not caring to be in another disagreement between his longer than life friends.

“Be honest you’re early on purpose just so it gives you something to complain about and a reason to make us feel bad!” 

Jinyoung ignored Bambam’s theory, replying to the oldest, “no need. I already ordered for the three of us. It’s a special day, the birthday boy doesn’t need to pay,” he glanced at Bambam, “you on the other hand…” 

The two new arrivals, flop down into the sofa chairs on either side of Jinyoung, along of them situated to make a half-circle in front of a low coffee table. The three of them had somehow stuck into this… pattern. Years of friendship that contained years of Bambam/Jinyoung squabbles that Jaebeom would often have to mediate. Patterns were nice, but sometimes they would get old – especially after so long. 

As the two of them argue over whether or not Bambam should pay Jinyoung back for a simple iced Americano because Bam swears he got the drinks the last two times, Jaebeom looks over to the counter where the baristas work on – no doubt – the plethora of orders they have. The factor of the café being new has certainly been the cause of the popularity and amount of people in the shop. He can’t help but feel bad for the individuals working on the drinks – three years ago he had been one of them for roughly 18 months and knew that it wasn’t as easy as it appeared to be. 

In retrospect, Jaebeom didn’t have to work. He had so much time to learn and understand what it meant to be financially responsible. Not only that, but he’s literally had hundreds of years to save. Plus, his early investments in companies ended up landing him some pretty substantial and valuable shares. Jaebeom was sitting on quite the pretty penny. 

“Wow your portfolio is remarkable… I’ve never seen one like it,” his latest financial advisor had said to him in complete awe, “I mean an early investor in Amazon? Apple? Mastercard?” 

Jaebeom had laughed nervously, “What can I say? My grandpa had good intuition, I guess.” 

Money aside, he had wanted something to do with his time – hence his barista job. It was fun, but like most things, Jaebeom just grew tired of it and as he watched the girl working the espresso machine let out an exhausted breath, he realized that he wasn’t missing it. 

Jaebeom has become good at studying people. It was something he still wasn’t sure of whether it was a vampire thing or just something he had picked up over time. Watching the girl at the machine, her hair is in a low bun, a few strands falling in front of her face. It’s clear with the way the hair tie is situated, that the hairstyle was once a bit neater, tighter, and sat at the middle or even top of her head. However, the now fallen placement and slight disarray signal how busy she’s been working and how fried she must be feeling. 

He looks to the string bracelet on her wrist, visible from far away enough for Jaebeom to conclude that she must have someone in her life deemed important to wear one of those “friendship” bracelets. He never saw the point, but humans were strange creatures, despite him once being one. 

Jaebeom’s breath hitches when he catches sight of the delicately drawn tattoo on her wrist near the bracelet. It’s of lavender and it immediately reminds him of his mother who had loved exploring the lavender field that had been near his home when he was a child. Despite all the time that has passed since he lost his mother, the pain that aches inside of Jaebeom when he thinks of her isn’t any less. 

His thoughts are interrupted by the call at the coffee bar, “Order for Jinyoung.” 

The call comes from the overworked girl he had been studying and Jaebeom wants more than anything to stand up and retrieve their orders. He finds a weird want to hear what her laugh sounds like. Maybe he could say something or strike up a conversation that would-

“What are you doing?” It takes Jaebeom a moment to notice that he has partially stood up from his chair as if he’s about to go somewhere. Cluelessly, he replied, “going to get the drinks.”

The youngest shook his head, “No way! Birthday boys don’t get their drinks, they don’t lift a finger.” 

He knew Bambam was one to take birthdays seriously, but this was beginning to feel like it was going the extra mile too many. 

“I’ll get it.” 

Jaebeom watched Bambam get up to retrieve the drinks. He expects him to just grab the drinks and return to the table, but instead, Bambam says something to the girl. Arching his neck to the side, he tries to make a clear path to eavesdrop on what’s being said, hearing being one of the benefits of turning. Unfortunately, the café is too loud for him to focus on the conversation and he’s defeated by the fact that he’ll have to stay in the dark.

The girl laughs loudly at something Bambam said and Jaebeom can’t help but feel mixed about it. On one hand, he got his wish – hearing her laugh – but on the other hand, he wasn’t the cause of it. For some reason it makes him bring his clench and unclench his fists which rest on the arms of the sofa chair. Jinyoung takes notice.

Jaebeom quickly looks down at his lap when he senses that Bambam is returning to where they’re sat, not wanting to give away that he had been staring. First, he places Jinyoung’s and his drink on the table, soon turning back around to go back and fetch the last drink – Jaebeom’s. 

When he comes back, Jaebeom looks up to see a large grin spread across the youngest’s face. He has that look again – the one as if he knows a joke Jaebeom doesn’t. 

The latter nodded his head in thanks for getting the drinks as he inspects his green tea on the table. Just as he’s about to pick up the mug, he’s stopped in his tracks by an announcement coming from the coffee bar. 

“Hello everyone! Sorry for the interruption, but I’ve been told that we have a birthday here today,” you said. Giving announcements wasn’t your strong suit, but you figured now that you were an actual owner of something, you were going to get over your shyness. But you didn’t think it was going to be that often that a tall, skinny and pale boy with a Rolex on his wrist would be asking you to get your coffee shop to sing happy birthday for his friend. Even when you were a barista working for someone else no one had made such a request. This was a café after all, not an Applebee’s.

Jaebeom wished more than anything that he could sink into his seat and just disappear. If only that cliché that vampires turned into bats were true, then he could just fly away at a moment’s notice. Leave it to Bambam to torture him like this. It wasn’t intentional of course, but it certainly felt like it to Jaebeom. 

It was especially tragic to him because the girl he had been studying was the one leading the entire café in singing “Happy Birthday.” He did his best to avoid looking at her, feeling like his entire body was heating up in embarrassment even though he couldn't heat up. 

You on the other hand felt a little insulted by the birthday boy’s lack of eye contact. You hadn’t even managed to get a good look at him before you started singing and now it was not possible with the way that he was looking down at the ground, his long hair falling in front of his face, concealing itself to you. It wasn’t difficult to conclude that he felt awkward about a bunch of strangers he had never met singing him happy birthday, you had felt the same whenever your friends tried to ambush you on your birthday… but you at least looked up and acknowledged the presence of the people singing. A tight smile from this guy would even be happily accepted. 

When the song is over and the claps that follow finally subside, he looks up to see the café back at its previous state of normalcy, not a single person looking at him anymore. Jaebeom lets out a sigh of relief. 

“You could at least act like you liked it,” Bambam huffed in annoyance. He wished Jaebeom could appreciate the idea of birthdays like he did. 

“I really didn’t need to be the center of attention today Bam.” 

“But it’s your bir-” Bambam begins to explain, but Jaebeom abruptly cuts him off, not wanting to hear his reasoning for today’s antics, yet again. The day hadn’t even started.

“My birthday, I know. Thanks for reminding me.” 

Jinyoung clears his throat and plays with the spoon that came with his Flat White. Just as Jaebeom is the mediator for Bambam and Jinyoung, sometimes Jinyoung has to be the mediator for Jaebeom and Bambam. Essentially the commonality in the disagreements of their trio friendship is Bambam and currently, Jinyoung feels as though he should route the conversation elsewhere.

“What else is in the cards for tonight then boys?” 

It’s then based on the look on Jaebeom’s face, that Jinyoung thinks that maybe talking about the plans for tonight – on Jaebeom’s birthday – isn’t re-routing the conversation. Especially since it’s Bambam’s whose eyes light up and is the one to reply to him.

“Obviously we’re going out tonight,” Bambam paused and turned to Jaebeom, wagging his finger in the latter’s face, “there’s no way you’re getting out of this. I’m not taking no for an answer this time.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and didn’t respond as he knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He had rejected Bambam’s invitations to go out consistently for the last 6 months and on his birthday of all days, Bam was going to force him out of the house just as he had done this morning to come to the café.

He looks back to the front counter, his eyes searching for the barista who has now suddenly disappeared. A frown begins to make itself known on his face, feeling a bit disappointed by the fact that she may have left already or gone elsewhere, but soon she’s popping up from behind the counter, no doubt getting something from the cabinets below. Jaebeom feels relief. 

“What did you say to her?” he asked suddenly looking back at Bambam.

He cocked his head to the side, confused, “What did I say to who?” 

“The barista behind the counter.” 

His friend nodded his head slowly, suddenly realizing what Jaebeom means. A smirk appears on his face, “nothing much… Just how it was your birthday and it would be really good if we could all embarrass you by singing about it. She’s not a barista, by the way, she owns the place. Kinda backward thinking there Jae. It’s the 21st century, women can own things now, they can vote.” 

“I know that,” Jaebeom hissed. 

Bambam puts up his hands in defeat, “I’m just making sure.” 

“Don’t you know her?” Jinyoung asked, “isn’t that why we came here?” 

Jaebeom’s interests are perked. It’s not often that the three of them meet new people. It’s not like there’s a huge point to it. The last new person the three of them met was Mark – also a vampire – a bartender at their favorite club in the city, but that was in 2007. 

He waits for Bambam’s explanation as to how he knows this girl and why they came here specifically beside it just being near Jaebeom’s apartment. 

Waving his hand nonchalantly, the Thai boy gives his answer, “I don’t really know her. Minji does. Met her in some kind of class, I think. SoulCycle? Pilates? Zumba? I don’t know. I can’t keep up with her and her activities these days.” 

Minji is Bambam’s mate. He had turned her only a month after they met. 

Jaebeom’s not sure what he would do if he met his mate. He doesn’t know if he would want to subject them to turning and living the same kind of life as him, but he also doesn’t know if he could continue life alone after meeting his mate. If he ever meets them.

“Why the curiosity?” Jinyoung asked, for once finding it hard to remain stone-faced. Even his usual chill, non-revealing demeanor seems to fade away when it appears that his older friend might be attracted to someone. 

Jaebeom simply shrugged, “it’s nothing…” 

“What do you think? Could she be the one?” Bambam asked teasingly, pointing to the girl behind the counter. 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes almost immediately at the younger boy, “if you’re going to keep bothering him about it, don’t make it so obvious idiot.” 

Jaebeom had been alive – or more like undead – for 200 years and more than half of that time he had to listen to this same conversation from his friends over and over again. His patience was wearing thin and 180 years later, he was tired of their pestering. 

He leaned forward slowly and grabbed his green tea off the table, making sure to visibly flinch at the heat of the drink, Bambam, and Jinyoung chuckling at his reaction. Out of the three of them, Jaebeom certainly had the most practice when it came to “putting on a show” for the humans and “acting” the most human. Taking a sip, he looked back at the girl behind the counter. 

The youngest vampire had spent many of their outings and conversations hypothesizing who Jaebeom’s mate could be. Despite being the oldest of the three, Jaebeom was the only one left who still hadn’t found his mate and he was beginning to feel hopeless. Typically, Bambam pointed out any human girl as a candidate – all of them of course ended up not being his mate. Therefore, Jaebeom didn’t pay attention to his picks anymore, but he had to admit… He did get a strange feeling from the girl behind the counter. 

Jaebeom looked to you, hoping to catch your gaze as you quickly made the coffee orders for the few people waiting to the side of the cash register. Just when he was about to give up and focus his attention back on his friends, you tore your concentration away from the drink in your hand and looked up at him from across the cafe. 

Jaebeom focused his gaze deep onto you with his eyes – testing, checking, and trialing your focus. You didn’t look away, instead, you trained your eyes deeply into his and stared at him until finally, it was Jaebeom who broke the contact. 

He shook his head at his friends, disappointed by your inability to break the trance and ultimately confused at the feeling he still got from you despite that. 

Jaebeom took another sip of the tea, “it’s not her.” 

“Did you have to debate that Uber driver on the Twilight franchise?” Jinyoung groaned at Bambam as soon as they’re out of the car. 

The entire twenty-minute ride, he had got into a heated discussion with their driver on how Twilight was not “true” or realistic to most actual vampire folklore. It had been an excruciating thing to listen to. 

“Got to stand up for our kind dude.” 

“Okay, but what happens when she starts asking how you know all these things or why you’re so interested in vampire stuff?” Jinyoung tended to always be right. This wasn’t an exception.

Brushing off his pants, Bambam gives him a nonchalant wave, “chill out man. Everyone loves vampire stuff.” 

“Maybe in 2008,” Jaebeom said just barely loud enough for his friends to hear them. The two of them laughed, Bambam shoving him playfully on the shoulder, “Birthday boy getting funny on us.” 

“I was always funny,” Jaebeom deadpanned. 

“Funny and looking good tonight. Let’s get you laid, shall we?” 

After a day that was jampacked full of various activities planned by his youngest friend, the last thing Jaebeom wanted to do was spend extra energy on trying to get some girl to come home with him tonight. Besides, he wasn’t that guy anymore. 

Jinyoung scoffed, “he doesn’t need to get laid tonight.”

“Yes, he does! Jaebeom how long has it been?” 

This time it’s Jinyoung that shoves Bambam’s shoulder – except it’s not all that playful. 

“Fine don’t answer that, but I’m just saying there will be quite a few girls here that you can have your pick of, despite your plain outfit.” 

Jaebeom looked at the clothes he had changed into when Bambam spared him a sliver of time to go back home to digress and feed his cats. The latter had wanted him to borrow clothes of his, but instead, Jaebeom decided on pulling pieces from his closet that felt more like him, less like Bambam. A plain pair of ripped jeans, an oversized black shirt that he had bought at a shop from his trip to London last year, and his mother’s necklace that often wasn’t missing from its spot around his neck.

Bambam’s earlier critique was that he was dressed too basic and that no girls would bat an eye at him. Girls don’t like plain guys, he had said. The comment makes Jaebeom wonder about you and whether you’d fall under the category of not liking “plain” guys. 

He bites the inside of his cheek. It was probably the eighth time he had made himself do it today. Jaebeom had found his mind often drifting to you throughout the day for some unexplainable reason. During their walk in the park, he wondered if you would take strolls during your breaks from the café or when Bambam forced him to go paint pottery for an hour and a half he thought about what you would paint. It frustrated him because he hadn’t even spoken to you – not a word and yet you were clearly on his mind for one reason or another. It wasn’t even like you were his mate. He had tried to see if you were unaffected by his trance, his hypnotic capabilities, but you had just stared at him completely fixated just as everyone else was. 

Jaebeom was not going to think about you any longer. He was already planning on avoiding your café. 

“We’re on the list,” Bambam tells the bouncer when they arrive at the entrance of the club. He scans the list and motions his head towards the direction of the door to signal to the three of them to go on ahead. There’s a bit of a whine coming from the people waiting in line which admittedly so makes Jaebeom feel a little guilty, but Bambam ensures him it’s fine, “why have a friend who works at a club if we can’t use him for the perks?” 

“Why does he keep bartending again?” As soon as the question is out of Jaebeom’s mouth he realizes it was a stupid thing to ask since the answer is apparent. 

Bambam laughed at him, giving his long – irreplaceable he’d like to remind everyone – leather coat to the person at the front of the club. Jaebeom swears he hears him tell the coat check guy the “proper” way to put it on a hanger. 

“Obviously for the girls Jaebeom.” 

Mark’s mate – Hana had passed on a long time ago. Jaebeom had never got the chance to meet her, only hears about her in passing from some stories that Mark has told the three of them. He hadn’t turned her. Jaebeom’s never asked why. 

“Girls… of course.” 

He can’t help but think about how Mark must feel inside. Although Jaebeom doesn’t know him as well as he knows Bambam and Jinyoung, whenever he’s with the older boy he’s always got a smile on his face. Often quiet, but he’s always got certain energy bouncing off of him that would indeed make him popular with women. However, if what they say about mates is true, would that mean that a piece of Mark was now missing? Did he feel like he was less of a person? Jaebeom felt like that sometimes and he hadn’t even met his mate yet. Mark had his, but now he didn’t. 

“Drinks?” Jinyoung asked the two of them and Jaebeom is partly surprised. Out of the three of them, Bambam was the one who was the most comfortable in a club or even bar setting. He figures that Jinyoung must be using his birthday as an excuse to cut loose and become someone else for the night.

Bambam instantly nodded his head at Jinyoung’s suggestion and Jaebeom finds himself trailing behind the two of them as they make their way over to Mark at the bar who is throwing his head back at something the girl across the bar is saying. Judging on Jaebeom’s intuition – it’s a bit fake and overplayed, but you got to do what you got to do.

“My man!” Bambam yelled over the music, leaning against the counter in a way to make sure he doesn’t get the elbows of his long sleeve turtleneck wet. Mark in response, turned to them and smiled, then routing his attention back to the girl, giving her an apologetic smile. Her half-smile says everything Jaebeom could need to know – this girl would not be going home with Mark after his shift tonight. 

“What can I get you guys tonight,” Mark turned to Jaebeom and the latter can barely make out his sharp canines in the dark club, “birthday boy you want anything special?” 

Before Jaebeom can reply that he wants to be at home, Bambam answers for him.

“Could we maybe get something that’s off the menu?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Mark who gave him a shit-eating grin, knowing immediately what he was talking about. 

“Off the menu” meant Mark’s secret stash of O negative underneath the counter. While alcohol had the same effect on them that it had on the average humans, adding a bit of blood just made a little bit better. Okay… it made it a lot better. 

“Three negronis coming right up,” Mark winked to give a little signal that these would most likely not be as well composed or put together as a negroni, but due to them being in public, he couldn’t necessarily announce a shit ton of alcohol mixed with human blood was going to be served up to them. 

“How has your birthday been Jae?” Mark asked as he was in the middle of placing three glasses onto the countertop in between them.

It was difficult to explain since to Jaebeom it had just been another day except for a little bit more excruciating. The celebration of another year “older” filled him with thoughts of how much time has passed, whether he’s done anything truly important and why he still hasn’t found the person who is meant to complete him… but like he said only a little more excruciating than any other day. 

Jaebeom shrugged in response, “Bam planned a lot and for the most part, it was…” he paused for a moment, wondering if he should say how he felt – numb, lost, and wishing the day would come to an end as if tomorrow won’t bring the same thoughts or problems. But as he looked at his friends who had tried so hard today to make him happy and celebrate, he decided to guard them against the ultimate truth, “for the most part it was fun – really good. I mean besides the singing at the café of course.” He throws in the last part to at least have some kind of believability to his story. 

He notices Mark’s eyebrows lift out of curiosity as his concentration focuses on measuring out each part of the drinks, “An entire café sang you happy birthday? Damn, I don’t think I could ever get through that, so I can only imagine how you feel.” 

“That was Bam’s idea,” Jinyoung muttered. 

Once again, Bambam does his nonchalant waving of the hand, “it wasn’t that bad. I mean okay, maybe it was… But Jaebeom was obsessed with the girl who led it.” 

Jaebeom suddenly feels like he wants to put duct tape over his friend’s mouth. 

“I was not obsessed with her! I don’t even know her!” Jaebeom for some reason felt the need to defend himself, which was probably the worst option. Him getting defensive was usually a tell-tale sign for his friends being right on whatever they were confronting him with. 

Bambam scoffed, bringing gliding his drink across the bar to be directly in front of him once Mark has poured it neatly into the short glass, “I noticed you staring at her before I went to get the drinks. That’s why I asked her to do it in the first place.” 

“So, she doesn’t know Minji?” Jinyoung questioned. 

The youngest takes his first sip and immediately lets out a hissing noise, signaling to Mark that it’s both strong and good. “No, she does, but Jaebeom’s weird staring only made it that much better.” 

Mark pushed the other two glasses towards Jinyoung and Jaebeom, “Was she your…” he drifted off, almost as though he was finding it physically difficult to get the word out. Jaebeom can’t help but feel the want to reach his hand out towards Mark and place it comfortingly on his shoulder, but his group of friends don’t do that. Instead, he saves him the trouble by answering back right away, not forcing him to say it.

“No, she wasn’t.” 

The bartender nodded slowly, suddenly avoiding his gaze from the three familiar boys across the bar from him, “That’s uh… too bad that she wasn’t able to break the trance. Sorry, Jaebeom.” 

He knows that Mark is just trying to be nice, especially when they’re on a subject that he clearly can’t and doesn’t want to talk about, but the attempt to be comforting makes Jaebeom nauseous. 

“Well maybe he’ll find her here tonight,” Jinyoung quipped, placing a hand on Jaebeom’s back. Sometimes the latter swore that his friends treated him he had just found out he had a terminal illness. 

“I sincerely doubt it,” Jaebeom commented gruffly. 

There’s a sound from the other side of the bar from a customer who seems fed up with the conversation being had between the four of them – distracting Mark from serving anyone else. He gives a signal to them to notify them that he’ll be there in a second. “Well… come to me if you guys need more drinks.  It’s on me tonight.” 

“Thanks, man,” Jaebeom tells him honestly because he might need a couple more drinks before he gets to the state of wanting to be in this room.

Mark said a final word of “see you guys later” and heads to the other end of the bar to help customers who have been waiting. Grabbing their drinks, Jaebeom, Jinyoung, and Bambam turn around to depart the bar, to find somewhere to sit for a bit before the drinks truly begin to hit them.  

With his drink in hand, Jaebeom took a sip and reveled in the perfect balance of alcohol to burn his throat and blood to soothe it. The drink was probably the most relaxing part of his day thus far and as he looked out at the crowd, he could already tell that maybe the mixture was going to his head due to his sudden thinking that this place wasn’t all that bad.

Despite not being a club guy, if he were to go out, Jaebeom would always choose this club that Mark works out. To put it simply – it was vampire friendly. With Mark behind the counter and his “secret” supply free-flowing, it became a notoriously known place for vampires in town. If he had to guess, the attendance on an average night was probably evenly split 50/50, humans and vampires.

The humans weren’t aware of the vampires of course – for the most part.

Jaebeom cleared his throat once they’ve found a booth to sit in, “so… Bam what do you know about that girl?” 

Both Jinyoung and Bambam exchange glances before looking back at the birthday boy. The latter tried his best to conceal the smile on his face, “not much… just that she owns the café, knows Minji, and is very single.” 

For some reason, Jaebeom’s stomach does a little flip, but he wishes it wouldn’t. “S-So?” Through his stutter, he tries to remain as confident as possible, but his friends see right through his façade.

Jinyoung leaned forward until his elbows rest on the top of his thighs, “Jaebeom you can be honest with us… Why the sudden fascination with this girl? Are you sure she didn’t break the trance? Just with the way that you’re acting…” Jinyoung drifted off, not bothering to finish his final sentence, but once again looking at Bambam. It makes Jaebeom lean forward in his seat as well. 

“With the way, I’m acting? I’m completely normal. I’m fine. She didn’t break the trance and now I’m just curious about her as curious as anyone would be about someone they meet.” 

There’s the silence between the three of them until Bambam speaks up, “You didn’t meet her though.” 

It dawns on Jaebeom that he didn’t even speak to you and he wonders why does it feel like he did. Why did it feel like he knew you but didn’t at the same time? Why haven’t his mind and body been cooperating with him since this morning at the café? 

Just with the way that you’re acting…

The way he was acting? What did that mean? Was the way he was acting mean something specific? 

He feels like he blinks and thirty minutes go by. And in that past thirty minutes, Jaebeom had somehow managed to drink 6 of Mark’s “negronis.” He felt like his head was beginning to get dizzy. It wasn’t often that Jaebeom found himself drunk on the verge of drunkenness due to alcohol not affecting him as much as humans. To even remotely get to that state, he had to drink a lot and it had to be strong. 

“You feeling it Jaebeom?” Through the darkness and the haze of the alcohol, Jaebeom could barely make out the hint of the smile playing on Jinyoung’s face. He had switched to a glass of wine at some point while Jaebeom was binge drinking which had to be the most Jinyoung thing ever. Who drinks a glass of wine in a dark, sweaty club? 

He’s afraid to answer him verbally which would give his friend an obvious sign of how he was feeling. So instead he just shrugged – as usual. 

“Dude let’s get out there!” The youngest shouted, motioning his hands to the middle of the club, “dance… maybe find you a girl?” 

Jaebeom watched the people pressing up against each other on the dancefloor, moving their bodies, and drinking like their lives depended on it. He wondered if he wanted to be a part of that. Everyone out there was so full of life and vigor… he just wasn’t. He also didn’t know if he was that drunk, but bless Bambam because he didn’t need alcohol to be out there. 

For what feels like the millionth time, his mind drifted to you. Was this your kind of place? Would you come here? If you did would you come alone? With friends? Someone else? You didn’t seem like the type of person who would like this place. You seemed more like him – the observant, calm, inquisitive type who would much rather be at home with a book than at a party. 

Then for a moment, he can picture it. It’s almost like he’s in a trance – an image of you curled up on a couch – his couch – under a large white cable knit blanket fills his mind. Rather than reading, your painting with watercolors – the kind that seems to be in every elementary school classroom – and he hears a voice out of view. His voice.

“Painting really?”  

Jaebeom sees you glance up from your painting to look at him, smiling.

“Looks like I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands so… might as well get good at something.” 

Jaebeom hears himself laugh, “Okay but watercolors?” 

He feels like he’s going to pass out when he finally hears it – your laugh. 

“Let the artist work Im Jaebeom! She needs to get good enough to live off auction house money once her paintings get sold! Shh!” Despite your words, you smiled and suddenly moved the tools away from you onto the coffee table. You lifted half the blanket off of you and patted the space of the couch beside you, “you know I can’t say no when you give me that face. Come here.”

And just like that, the vision is gone. Jaebeom feels confused because it didn’t feel like a dream or fantasy, but it felt real… it felt like a memory. 

“Hello, Earth to Jaebeom?” 

Right… dancing. Maybe dancing would help him forget whatever game his mind was playing on him.

“Yeah let’s fucking go.” 

Another instance occurs where Jaebeom blinks and everything moves so fast. Suddenly he’s no longer sat at the table with Bambam and Jinyoung, but instead in the middle of that mess on the dancefloor with everyone else. He almost feels like one of them. He almost feels human again. But as soon as that feeling washes over him, it quickly dissipates. 

He knows it must be the drinks doing all the work, because otherwise, he would have never found himself in the middle of all these people, thinking that dancing is a good idea. Dancing had never done anything remotely good for him before, so why now? To help forget? Was it going to help him do that? 

“I swear it’s like he’s not even here.” 

Jaebeom tuned back into the moment, and it’s when he realizes that Jinyoung and Bambam have been trying to get his attention this entire time.

“Sorry I was just- the alcohol you know…” He says it so quietly that he knows his friends won’t be able to hear him over the music and the millions of conversations happening around them. But he thinks that maybe it’s better that way and that it truly doesn’t matter what he says.

Jinyoung comes closer to Jaebeom, until his mouth is right next to his ear, “we were just asking if there’s anyone that you’re interested in.” 

They’re still on this idea? Jaebeom asked himself. 

Even in his drunken state, he didn’t think that finding some random girl to fuck was going to help with the emptiness he’s been feeling lately, but for the first time since getting up and onto the dance floor he takes in the people around him. As depressing as it was to observe, most people were here with someone else. 

It’s then his gaze falls onto a couple that stands far on the left side of the floor, behind where Jinyoung is standing. The two of them have their fronts pressed up against each other, dancing so closely with arms exploring one another’s bodies. The female has her head resting on the male’s shoulder as if she’s too exhausted to keep going, but can’t dare to part with him. It’s like they’re part of each other and any distance would cause them to lose all sense of themselves.

The girl lifts her head off the male’s shoulder and gives him this look that makes Jaebeom’s heart – if it was still beating – ache. She says something to him and he nodded happily in response. Even through the dim lights and large crowd, Jaebeom could see the sharp teeth inside her mouth.

She placed her head back against his shoulder, this time, however, the male had his head angled back, stretching out his neck. The girl moves in closer until her mouth just ghosts over the skin, breathing on it until the boy shuts his eyes awaiting the sting and pleasure that will come next.

Biting down against his flesh, breaking skin, the girl drinks from her partner. Even though he’s at a distance from them, Jaebeom can tell by the look on the man’s face that he’s enjoying being fed on and that it certainly isn’t his first time. 

He feels like his eyes are frozen on the couple. It’s been so long since he fed off someone instead of the stuff that he gets from his connection at the hospital. Jaebeom tries not to think about the way his fingertips tingle and his throat dries up at the thought of drinking from a warm body. The alcohol has only dehydrated him and made him feel even more thirsty – he’s afraid that going back to the bar and asking Mark for a glass of O negative exclusively isn’t going to make that go away. 

After a moment or two, the girl removes her mouth from the boy’s neck and drags her tongue over the spot where she had drawn blood from, ultimately covering the wound and signaling that she was done drinking. 

He thinks of how risky it is to do that at a place like this. Although half of the people around them also take part in the activity of drinking blooding and granted most of them aren’t paying attention to those around them – there are still unsuspecting humans everywhere. If one wrong person were to see then that could be it for this club being a haven for the vampire community in the city and that would probably be… it for vampires in this city in general. 

But who was he kidding? He was being a hypocrite because he’s for sure done the same thing. 

You’ve once again entered his mind. However, this time it isn’t an image, picture, or vision that occupies his thoughts, but instead just the idea of how you would react to who he is, what he really is. Throughout his time that he’s been undead he’s only done the “reveal” to a handful of people and even then, it took him a long time to get there. Well except for one person who ultimately was a mistake and his friends hadn’t hesitated to let him know.

With you, Jaebeom felt that you wouldn’t be the kind of person to judge him instantly based on what he was. You would be shocked of course, maybe even scared, but you wouldn’t let that cloud your judgment. You wouldn’t let yourself reject something just because it was unfamiliar. 

What the fuck was he on about? 

It must be the alcohol doing this to him. He would have to thank Mark for making them strong this time around, but also make a mental note to never let this happen again. Jaebeom was already a deeper thinker, but this was getting out of hand.

There’s a sudden grasp of Jaebeom’s elbow and he feels himself jump at the sudden touch. His eyebrows furrowed when he realized it wasn’t one of his friends considering Bambam and Jinyoung were both dancing over to his right side. 

When he turned around to greet the person who had grabbed him, he was disappointed, surprised, and annoyed all in one. It was the last person he had expected to see her, except not really because it made perfect sense. 

“Jaebeom… hi.” Ara smiled shyly at him, tucking a string of hair behind her ear and slightly looking down at the ground. He wants to groan because he knows she’s doing this because he had once mentioned that he thought it was hot when she looked innocent. He shouldn’t have ever said that.

He’s not sure what to say, because what are you supposed to say to someone you’ve been trying to avoid for the past year and a half? Jaebeom had said everything he had wanted to say to her. 

At one point in his life, he had been stupid. He had been stupid and he had abused the power that had been bestowed upon him since the day he had been turned. Perhaps one would assume that he’d been foolish with his ability just at the start – 100, maybe even 150 years ago. Instead, Jaebeom had gone through a rough patch about a year or two ago. 

The overwhelming pressure of finding his mate had started to get to him again. All he needed was someone, anyone to break the hypnotic trance and that was it. A task that seemed so simple, yet never came. So, Jaebeom had used hypnotism to his advantage, getting as many girls as he could in his bed in the shortest amount of time possible. He wasn’t proud of it and it was something he would constantly regret as long as he was ali- around. 

One of those girls… had been Ara. 

Jaebeom felt relieved when she didn’t wait for him to answer back at her greeting, “How are you? I-It’s your birthday, right? How old are you turning again? 27?” She winked immediately after her question and he wants to roll his eyes.

She was the mistake by the way. The mistake that knew about who he was. 

He doesn’t even remember how it happened, how his secret slipped, or what the circumstances of her finding out was. Part of him thinks he was just horny, thirsty, and weak, but she found out and she… loved it. 

Weirdly enough, Ara loved the idea of him being a vampire and his “lifestyle” which at first Jaebeom didn’t think too much about. He thought okay she’s taking this extremely well… better than anyone else I’ve ever told, but whatever, but then it became strange. 

She was what those in the vampire community call a “vampire fetishizer.”

He coughed awkwardly, his gaze wandering over to Jinyoung and Bambam, hoping they would catch sight of him stuck with Ara and come rescue him. Jaebeom wasn’t that lucky though, not even on his birthday, “Yeah… 27.” 

Jaebeom can’t help but look at her neck. It’s fully on display and it was clear that Ara had come here to find someone to feed on her. He had been the one to show Ara this place before he had been clued into her little… vampire obsession. 

“Well did the birthday boy get everything he wants today?” She smiled and gave Jaebeom those eyes. He feels his cock twitch in his pants and he realizes he has to keep himself in check because he’s not that weak tonight… right? 

His eyes flash to her neck again and Jaebeom feels his throat get even drier. He was so thirsty and he knows Ara would be so willing. 

No Jaebeom… No. 

“I-I uh yeah… you know got- yeah today’s been good,” he stuttered awkwardly, bringing his tongue out to wet his dry lips. Judging on the look on Ara’s face, she’s taken the action the wrong way. 

“You look thirsty Jaebeom… do you want a drink?” 

He knows what she means and Jaebeom swallows hard in an attempt to distract himself, to remind himself that he’s not that thirsty. He doesn’t need it that bad.

“I-I think I am.” 

The words come out faster than his brain can process to stop them and the part of Jaebeom that’s coherent, sharp, and aware wants to punch the weak and drunk Jaebeom in the face. 

Without a word, Ara turned from Jaebeom and began walking to one of the exits at the side of the club. He feels like he’s the one in a trance, mindlessly following her through the people, not even hearing Jinyoung and Bambam calling out to him. The only thing that Jaebeom makes note of as he follows her is Mark’s face behind the bar, giving him a tight smile. It almost stops Jaebeom. Almost. 

When they finally get outside through the exit door, they find themselves in a small alley between the club and a dry cleaner. 

Jaebeom doesn’t even get a moment to think before Ara is pushing him against the wall of the dry cleaner, her hands roaming up and down his body, her lips going to his own. They’re pressed up against each other so closely that he recalls the couple he had watched earlier. He feels sick comparing this moment now to the two of them. 

“Fuck I missed you so much,” Ara sighed seductively into this ear, making Jaebeom’s stomach churn further at her clear longing for him. Well not him, but the vampire part of him.

“Please, I need it,” she mewled. At her words, he almost puts a stop to this whole thing and has to question whether this is the right thing to do. Jaebeom wonders if this is old Jaebeom behavior – the one that just used women and threw them away later like toys, but then he remembers that this is Ara. She’s using him as well. 

It’s almost as though that old, cocky, snide Jaebeom appears out of nowhere as he says his next words and brings himself closer to her neck, “do you really need it?” 

“Yes, Jaebeom I do, please.” Ara already sounds so desperate and he’s barely done anything. He can’t help but smirk at her reaction.

“Then I guess I better give it to you then.” 

He’s about to do it. He’s about to bite down and finally relieve his thirst, his craving, but then he looks to the side of the alley – towards the street. He feels like he’s seeing things again like he’s in the middle of a hallucination or mirage. That thought is pushed away when he locks eyes with you. 

“Don’t mind me,” you placed your hands up in front of yourself, to show him you’re not eavesdropping. Your action frustrated you because it would have been much better to say nothing, but you felt yourself panic. The prolonged eye contact with him while he’s just seconds away from pressing down – bitting down? – on the girl’s next for some reason pushed you into defensive mode. Not to mention his eyes… his eyes were – red? 

The girl hadn’t noticed you; you aren’t even sure if she heard you, but she certainly noticed Jaebeom’s stare fixated on you. When she faces you, she wears an unpleasant sneer, clearly annoyed by your interruption of whatever this was. 

“Can you go?” She said, the agitation in her voice more than apparent. 

Rather than immediately leave the scene, you continued to stare at Jaebeom. It’s difficult to say why you decided to walk this specific way home despite it being so late and dark out, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but be pulled in this direction. You weren’t someone who believed in signs or fate, but it felt so wrong to go any other way tonight. That was another thing, you felt this kink in your neck that practically forced you or taunted you into looking down the alley between this dry cleaners and club. It was yet another thing about today that felt unexplainable to you as you certainly weren’t expecting the birthday boy from the café today to be in a compromising position with some girl. 

After a moment of more uncomfortable staring – something else that had happened at the café today with him – Jaebeom breaks your gaze and looks down at his feet. The eye roll and acrid look on the girl’s face don’t go unnoticed by you. 

You shouldn’t be here. 

“S-Sorry. I’ll just get going then,” you concluded, unsure why you felt an uncomfortable sickness spread throughout the entirety of your body. 

You barely knew this guy – all you really knew was that today was his birthday and that he was friends with Minji’s boyfriend. Basically nothing. Yet now and even earlier back at the café you had felt this weird sensation within yourself. Not even when you looked at him, but just being in the same presence. It had been so hard to focus on making coffee today when he was seated across the room. Every part of your body just wanted to get closer, gravitate towards him. It was fucking weird… and scary. 

The girl nodded as if to signal “yeah about time,” at the announcement of your departure. Jaebeom on the other hand, still had his eyes glued to the ground as if looking at you once again will cause him some kind of pain.

Just as you’re about to continue your trip back home, you stop yourself and look back at the couple in the alley. 

“Happy birthday by the way…” you paused wondering if it would be weird to say his name considering he doesn’t even know yours, but you shove the thought out of your mind, “Jaebeom…”    

Hearing you say his name causes that tingling feeling in his fingertips to come back and his entire mind is sent into a frenzy. He feels too awkward, too shy to look at you again, but a sudden thought washed over him. What if earlier was a mistake? What if you are his mate? With the way he was currently feeling just at you saying his name, the visions he had in the club and the nonstop place you know had in his mind, it was difficult to believe that you weren’t his mate. 

Bambam and Jinyoung had found it difficult to explain to him what it felt like to find your mate, but surely what he felt right now wasn’t normal behavior or feelings. Unless he was a psychopath. 

Tightly shutting his eyes and drawing together all his strength, Jaebeom aims to try once again to see if you can break the hypnotic trance, unaffected by his abilities. However, as soon as he’s finally ready, head turned up to face you – you’re gone. You didn’t wait for him to respond to the happy birthday message. Instead, you simply left not wanting to be a burden or troublesome to whatever it was those two were doing in that alley. 

“Thank fucking god, let’s get back to it,” Ara concluded with a final roll of her eyes, gripping Jaebeom’s shoulders to get him close to her once again. He stares at her neck, but this time he doesn’t feel anything. He no longer feels thirsty and his appetite is gone. 

Jaebeom shrugs her off slightly. The encounter with you has caused him to wake up and realize what a bad idea it would be to do this right now. He hopes that Ara won’t put up a fight – he doesn’t want to have to hypnotize her if he doesn’t need to. 

At his actions, Ara takes a step away in disbelief, as if she actually can’t believe that Jaebeom is changing his mind and no longer wants her, “are you serious?” 

He doesn’t say anything but instead avoids eye contact with her just as he had done for you. 

Snorting, she glared at him, “Fine. Whatever. I don’t fucking care. I can find someone else to feed off of me. Yours never felt that good anyway. Asshole.”

Just like that, she’s out of his life once again and Jaebeom can’t help but feel thankful. He should have never been weak enough to be dragged out by here anyway. He had just been consumed by thoughts of you, alcohol, and the couple on the dancefloor. Then again, not coming out here would have robbed him of the opportunity of seeing you again and finding out that you actually knew his name. 

That’s when it dawned on him. 

Fuck… how much had you seen? What did you see?