People always make fun of my "diet" (it's not really a diet, I just don't like beef or pork) but I realize that my eating habits should really be motivation for everyone to want to be my friend or something like that. Because I mean how many people do you know that would willingly give you their bacon. I would, no questions, no requirements, I'll give you my bacon because I don't want it

This might be just me, but does anyone else feel strangely happy and giddy when they see that their lying cheating ass ex's relationship with the girl he cheated on you with completely fail. Karmas a bitch

A close friend of my who is currently attending UCLA and in debt thousands of dollars, has a teacher, that in class today, was discussing French politics while using a map of Spain as reference

That moment when you first hear the rain drops hitting the windows, when you race outside even though you're in shorts and a tank top. That moment when every drop of water provides a cool relief to an otherwise hot and humid day. That moment when you just sit down and let yourself get drenched even if the rain lasts for only a minute or two. And then the smell hits you, it's a deep, rich, and earthy smell. A mixture of oils released from plants awaiting the rainfall, freshly moistened soil, and wet concrete. That's my favorite smell.

So an hour after our date was supposed to start, he texts me says sorry I fell asleep we can go whenever you're ready..... Well excuse f*cking me for all you know I showed up at the restaurant, waited for your sorry ass for AN HOUR, and then gave up and went home. You have no right to just assume that I'll come whenever it's convenient for you. Sorry buddy but you lost your shot

When the guy you supposedly have a date with tonight doesn't answer you on what restaurant you're supposed to be meeting at..... Well I suppose if I'm gonna get stood up id rather it be before I've even left the house

You know I thought tinder was full of creepy guys just trying to send dick pics but I haven't found any of those yet, I've gotten a couple players looking for hook ups, but mostly just people I talk casually too.... Maybe my tinder is broken cause it can't be possible that I've actually found ok people