helen had been around lex long enough to know when a question isn't just a question. the difference lived in the details: the taut line of his jaw like he was bracing for something to crack ... the way his eyes burned with the urgency of someone begging to have their worst assumptions disproven. compared to the controlled evenness of his voice, all those micro-mannerisms were strikingly dissonant.

another charming perk of dating a deeply traumatized bachelor? his father's shadow was never far behind his paranoia.

she let out a resigned sigh, a familiar one, as she made the deliberate choice to love lex by refusing to indulge the spiral. instead, she met it head-on. ❝ alright. what pot of shit is lionel stirring this time? because as much as i try to compensate for the lack of patience in this relationship ― and believe me, i'm already operating above my natural limit ― i'm getting really tired of watching him wind you up for sport while i'm the one stuck untangling the mess afterwards. ❞

Lex  wanted  to  tell  her  to  shut  up,  just stop, not  say  that,  but  it was  wildly  inappropriate,  knee  jerk  reaction.  He  didn't…he  bit  his  cheek,  exhaling  a  long-tired  sigh.  Sick  of  himself  &  near  over  the  antics  of  his  father.  He  couldn't  blame  her.  Helen  had  dealt  with  a  lot,  was  in  fact  extremely  patient  with  the  bouts  of  doubts  he  had,  the  whispering  in  his  ear,  this  overwhelming  paranoia,  the  fear  that  he  would  be  burned  all  over  again.  Didn't  want  to  deal  with  the  hurt,  so  he  raced  to  cut  off  the  limb,  not  thinking  of  who  would  bleed  out  with  him.  Lex  couldn't  even  look  at  her,  shoulders  turned  in  and  somehow,  he  made  himself  smaller.  Tightly  coiled  spine  lined  with  every  word  his  father  spat  at  him  about  her.  Her  motives.  He  could  not  figure  out  truth  between  fiction.  His  lack  of  patience,  her  natural  limits.  [ Spell  it  out  would  you,  just  say  I  am  too  much. That  this  is…] ❝ A  mess? ❞  Lex  echoed  back,  mouth  twisted  into  a  clean  stern  frown,  roving  grey  finally  landing  hard  narrowed,  scrutinizing  her.  Wanted  to  apologize  but  Helen's  statement  burned so  hot  he  couldn't  do  it.  ❝ I’m  not  asking  you  to  fix  it...❞  Fought  through  the  hiss  that  threatened  to  make  his  register  deadly.  Tongue  at  his  teeth  clicked...instead.  Defensiveness  started  to  breach  the  forefront  of  his  mind,  had  to  steady  his  hands  into  his  pockets.  Letting  a  deep  exhale  pull  out  from  his  mouth. 

❝ He’s  not  stirring  anything  new.  Just…  reminding  me  of  things  I’d  rather  not  examine  too  closely. ❞  a  beat,  like  replaying  it  was  exposing,  even  more  impossible  to  say.  ❝ He  says  you’re  patient  because  patience  buys  time.  That  you’re  kind  because  it  keeps  me  off  balance.  That  love,  real  love,  doesn’t  come  without  leverage—and  if  I  don’t  see  the  leverage,  it’s  because  I’m  choosing  not  to.  He  tells  me  over  again,  that  loyalty  has  a  price.  And  anyone  who  claims  otherwise  is  either  lying  or  hasn’t  shown  their  hand  yet. ❞ His  voice  is  level  now  too  level.  The  anger  has  folded  inward,  pressed  flat  until  it  reads  as  composure.  Lex  looks  past  her  instead  of  at  her now,  jaw  held  in  a  way  that  suggests  he’s  counting  something  privately.  ❝  And  a  part  of  me  always  assumes  there’s  some  version  of  the  truth  I’m  missing.  ❞ one fractional  pause again,  honest  and  damning. There’s  a  flicker  then,  gone  almost  immediately.  Fear,  tightly  leashed. [ I'm sorry.  Sorry  I  am  like  this. ]  He  didn’t  say  anything  anymore.  The  very  words  stayed  locked  inside  him,  making  him  sick. 

lex's words prompted clark's head to turn, the rake in his hand abandoning his task momentarily. " wait— you're serious? " clark's eyebrows shot up in a kind of surprise intended to be dramatic for the sake of his argument that followed, " oh, now you have to do it! " he exclaimed, enthusiasm getting best of him as he turned to the nearest fence to set his rake aside.

Lex  offered  Clark  a  deadpan  look,  funny. Watching  how  his  face  lit  up  with  excitement  yeah,  don't  look  too  surprised,  damn.  He  shouldn't  have  said  anything. ❝ I'm serious. You  think  I'd  lie  about  never  carving  a  pumpkin? ❞ He  responds  with  a  chuckle,  setting  the  rake  on  the  shedding  tree. It  only  just  dawned  on  him,  that  they  had  to  be  "gutted",  meaning  soon  he  would  be  elbow  deep  in  pumpkin  innards,   under  his  nails... messy.  okay.  Not  exactly  what  he  planned  for  today  but  still  followed  the  other  man  across  the  yard,  over  to  the  porch.  His  icy  gaze glanced  down  at  the  selection,  instantly  landing   on  the  very  lumpy  one  off  to  the  side,  smaller  than  the  rest.

❝  I  have  my  eye  on  that  one. ❞  gestured  with  his  hand,  lips  curling  upwards  into  a  smirk.  ❝ look  at  it. ❞  Titled  his  head ,  pathetic  compared  to  the  nicely  rounded  larger  ones  lined  beside  it,  maybe  less  to  scoop  out-  hopefully,  just  had  a  knack  to  pick  the  freaks.  Already  knew  what  he  could  carve  into  it.  Lex  may  not  ever  have  done  this  before;  however  he  knew  how  to  “work”  a  knife. ❝ You  gonna  do  one  with  me  right ? ❞ flitted  his  stare  over,  shrugged  off  his  long  trench  hanging  it  over  the white  porch  railing,  rolling  up  the  long  sleeves  of  his  maroon  sweater,  unclipping    his  watch  he  set it  in  his  pocket.