Make my messes matter
Make this chaos count.
Let every little fracture
In me shatter
Out loud.
RMH
Three Goblin Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Stranger Things
trying on a metaphor
occasionally subtle

ellievsbear

titsay
$LAYYYTER
Peter Solarz
Sade Olutola

if i look back, i am lost
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Not today Justin
Keni
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@trulyabookweirdo
Make my messes matter
Make this chaos count.
Let every little fracture
In me shatter
Out loud.

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Fuck I have tomorrow tomorrow
Like everything in his life, Shane is very pragmatic about sex.
First it’s planning their meet-ups months ahead. Shane has time to plan his outfit, do a pre-workout, and complete his prep routine. When he’s hosting, the temperature is perfectly set, lights low, fresh towels set out on the counters. When Ilya’s hosting or a hotel, he builds in time to do everything he needs beforehand.
Once they’re married, that changes. Living together means things can be a lot more spontaneous (which he loves) but he also likes to know The Plan™️.
And once they’re married, Shane has no problem asking for what he wants so he can plan out his day and routine. It’s not particularly sexy, but he guesses that’s married life.
“Ilya?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want to eat me out after the Canada match tonight?”
They had both been rooting for Canada at the world cup - Ilya even got them jerseys.
Ilya chokes and Shane frowns at him. “You okay?”
“I - just - what?”
“Well I’m going to do a full shower after my physio session with Amelia - I should be done by the time the Canada game starts. Oh - and I meant to ask if you liked those new frozen meals Lyn brought over. They’re a new brand.”
“I - yes, please Shane if I ever don’t want to eat you out, I have been replaced by aliens.”
“Okay, cool. And the meals?”
“Gross,” Ilya said. “But normal gross.”
~*~*~*~
“Ilya?”
“What?”
“Can we fuck on the couch tonight? With the fire going?”
Ilya grit his teeth and for a second Shane thought he would say no.
“Of course.”
“Maybe around 8? I bought 2 hour logs and the fire needs to be completely out by bedtime.”
“Okay.”
~*~*~*~
“Ilya!”
“Shane?”
“Look at your messages! I want to try that position. Maybe after we get back from our afternoon skate?”
~*~*~*~
“Ilya?” Shane asked through his cars bluetooth. Ilya was cooking and keeping him company on the phone as he drove back from an optometrist appointment. Much to his husband’s (fake) disappointment, his slight nearsightedness still didn’t need glasses for anything besides reading comfortably.
“Hm?”
“Did my package get delivered?”
“A package did. I put it on side table for you.”
“Can you go ahead and open it? I wasn’t sure what size to get so I got a few options. I want to try them this weekend - maybe Saturday? If they don’t fit, I’ll need to do another order tonight for 3 day shipping.”
He heard Ilya take a deep breath. He hated to give him another thing to do on top of making dinner, but he wanted to make sure they had the right sizes before they wanted to use them.
~*~*~*~
“Hey Ilya?” Shane said quietly, so the other people at the stuffy fundraiser couldn’t hear.
“Yes?” Ilya, his hand coming up to run through the back of Shane’s hair.
“I’m exhausted. Can we do shower blowjobs when we get home tonight?”
Ilya hand stuttered in his hair. Shane hated to disappoint him but he was too tired for his prep routine, his post routine, and cleaning the sheets. Or even getting up for Ilya to do it. Shower blowjobs had excellent clean up time and he could fall right into bed afterwards.
“That sounds perfect,” Ilya said, a little roughly.
~*~*~*~
Shane was going to kill him. Murder him. Like a sniper - out of the blue, at any given moment, Shane might call out to him all softly and then ask for hottest sex imaginable (all sex with Shane) AND THEN plan it for later, leaving Ilya incredibly worked up.
The worst part was Shane did not even know he did this to him - for Shane, it was just planning - run at 6, breakfast at 8:15, workout at 8:30, shower at 10, fuck husband at 10:45, off ice training at 12:15, etc. It drove Ilya insane.
But Ilya didn’t want to mess it up by acting on the extreme horniness he felt every time his husband causally planned out mind blowing sex. He knew routine was good for Shane’s brain and it would mess the routine up if Shane asked to pencil in a blowjob at 3:15pm and Ilya dropped to his knees right then. So he had to wait and wait until the clocked ticked down for their scheduled appointment. He loved it.
I love Time travel fix-it fic but what if instead of Hollanov, Yuna goes back in time to fix their relationship. Just think about it. Yuna finding Ilya on draft day and saying he is really good and his mom would be proud of him. Forcing Shane and Ilya to spend time together. Giving Ilya her number so he should contact her about the brand deal.
She would do a lot and make their image so different from the beginning so they wouldn’t suffer like the first time. No one can stop Mama Hollander if she needs to protect her sons.
hallo i havent opened tumblr in like half a year and realised i never posted this (follow me on instagram, thats my main place where i post art)

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I'm laying in bed with a high fever, and since using my phone for long periods hurt, i've been imagining #HOLLANOV headcanons for the past 20 minutes.
Let me tell you, reading fanfics since i've been a kid has its perks.
... Julián Álvarez is Luca Haas in another universe.
I'll receive no notes 🤣
Lovely to see we have spaces where you can gain access to so much literature!
Don't sleep on @queerliblib the Queer Liberation Library for all your queer Libby needs!
Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)
But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.
And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.
And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"

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Daniel Sloss SAID IT THANK YOU DANIEL SLOSS
Reblogging again now that Russell Brand's ugly mug is back in the news to remind everyone that in the 2023 Times expose on his abusive behaviour, Daniel Sloss was the only male comedian willing to be named and quoted like "yeah that dude's a scumbag and women have been warning each other about him for years."
It’s like holding on to water, doesn’t matter how hard you try..
These feelings of despair and longing, they’ll fade, they’ll die..
You will rise from the ashes, you’ll learn to smile again..
You’ll dance and laugh in time my friend, just work through this blinding pain..
The tightness in your chest right now, will be replaced by butterflies..
For every darkest night you’ve ever seen, there’s always a beautiful sunrise.
God please, i need to forget him soon. Let me be free.
Shane Hollander doing the "Planking till failure" trend for social media without actually knowing what it means... He breaks the internet. Am i right? 🤭😂😍
i know that ilya's ass is SO dramatic about getting his goodbye kisses after he and shane are together
shane forgets because he's running late for a meeting one day and has to rush out of the door, and he then arrives at the studio for the photoshoot he has booked to see a text from ilya with three different headstone styles with "one of these, i think"
and is just "for?? what??"
"when i am dead from broken heart because my husband does not love me anymore and does not kiss me before i will not see him for twenty years"
"ilya, i will be home in like four hours"
*pictures of two different casket models* "i am thinking the darker wood one, but perhaps that is too nice for your taste now that you do not love me anymore. perhaps you will bury me in cardboard shoe box like sad, dead hamster."
ilya on this video call: *dismissive hand flick* hollander, this is not important. you are stealing my moment. back to what i was saying: red roses, i think, for the wake. i know they mean love and you do not love me anymore, but maybe you can just pretend for the sad people who come to mourn me so they do not turn on you for being the cause of my death-

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Me generás algo muy extraño. Te quiero, y quiero hablarte y saber de vos. Te extraño. Pero el solo hecho de imaginarme hablándote, abriéndote esa puerta, para que dentro de un tiempo me empieces a contar de /ella/ , porque a pesar de no estar mas juntos "seguimos siendo amigos"... Me mata. Quiero saber de vos, pero sé que a la larga me va a hacer mal.
Quiero contestarte esa historia de instagram, pero no quiero fingir demencia.
I have just learned that my ex boyfriend of 4 years (who broke up with me THIS JANUARY) is dating the girl who I TOLD HIM was after him since last year and he swore up and down she was just his friend.
Though i am 100% sure he never cheated on me, it still hurts my fucking ego and feelings. Why couldn't he take into consideration my concerns? Cause I WAS FUCKING RIGHT.
Fuck.
I really want to not care, cause i know we weren't the best for each other in the end, and i think we are better of separetely... but fuck this man for dating the *one* girl that i had a problem with being his friend. As they say where i'm from;
"Ojo de loca no se equivoca"
And for fuck's sake i was right.