Truficuy

I always say I like her music videos because they're incredibly well-produced, because each release of hers feels like an event thought through to the last detail and not something done carelessly; I like that she changes concepts without losing identity, that she can be luminous and almost ethereal in one song and then intense or melancholic in the next without it feeling forced.

Her music is varied, and for me, that's a privilege, because depending on how I feel I can choose something different and I always find a song that fits that specific state; sometimes I need clean, bright energy, something to shake off the fatigue; other times I want something more subdued, more dramatic, closer to silence, and she always seems to have a piece that responds to that.

I also like her choreographies, especially when the song allows her to dance; they aren't movements just thrown in to fill space, there's intention in the way she positions her body, in how she understands when a gesture should be broad and when it should be barely hinted at. You can tell she doesn't just memorize steps, but thinks about how those movements will look from every possible angle, how they'll capture the light, how they'll translate on screen... and that's not a simple thing.

As an actor, I know how difficult it is to look good from every possible angle from which you might be seen; it's totally different from just acting well in front of a few cameras, on a set you have clear marks, you have defined frames, you know where the key light is and you can focus your energy on that exact point; on the other hand, when your entire body is exposed, when every second could become a shared capture thousands of times, there's no technical refuge to protect you, you have to maintain expression, posture, and energy all at the same time, even when you know the slightest lapse can be recorded, and she does it as if it costs her nothing, and I know it does cost her...

"For someone to be as dazzling an idol as she is, you need to be an excellent liar," I've said it, and I mean it without cruelty. I mean, "Being a good fan means wanting your idol to be a good liar," it means understanding that the public image is a construction and still choosing to admire her because you recognize the discipline it takes to maintain it; no one smiles with that precision without having practiced; no one maintains that steady gaze under such aggressive lights without having first learned to hide the tiredness, the frustration, or the insecurity...

...I've also practiced in front of the mirror, I've also adjusted the angle of my face so the light doesn't create unnecessary shadows; I've also repeated a line until it sounds natural even when I'm doubting inside... The difference is that I can afford visible pauses, I work non-stop, yes, but every now and then I retreat from the public spotlight for a month or two; I reduce interviews, appearances, unnecessary events. I don't stop acting, I don't stop preparing, I simply lower the volume of my presence so I can breathe better. She doesn't seem to have that margin, since she debuted as a soloist she has been constantly active, visible, delivering something new almost without rest, and that continuity is no coincidence, it's endurance.

There's also the difference in how we started, I entered the industry at fourteen and, although by sixteen I had already managed to capture full attention, there was a prior process, a silent learning, mistakes that not everyone saw; she, on the other hand, when she started her solo career, from the very first year was already shining with an intensity that not many achieve, I mean, the impact was immediate, and sustaining an impact like that without falling apart requires a very strong internal structure. It's not just talent, it's control, it's strategy, it's knowing exactly how much to show and how much to reserve.

I still remember Aleis's surprised face when I talked to him about her, as if he didn't think that gray-eyed idol was as great a deal as I did; to him, she's just a popular idol he occasionally runs into on a set, someone professional, competent, with whom he shares a scene and then goes on with his day. I was talking about the production, the concept changes, about how she understood the camera even when it wasn't the main shot, and he just nodded with slight confusion, unable to see what I saw; I think it was at that moment that I understood my admiration wasn't superficial, I wasn't just looking at the dazzling figure on screen, I was looking at the craftsmanship behind the dazzle.

I don't idealize her, I don't believe everything she shows is true, in fact, precisely because I know it's not, I respect her more; I understand the effort of maintaining a coherent public narrative, of deciding which parts of yourself become a character and which remain private... I am dramatic in more intimate spaces, in scenes where the weight is in the small nuances; she is dramatic on a grand scale, on stages where doubt cannot be visible even for a second, and perhaps what impresses me most is not that she shines... It's that she knows exactly how to do it, how to sustain the light without the audience perceiving the weight it entails, how to lie with such precision that the lie ceases to be deception and becomes art.