truevocations.com

Worried about where you fit? The truth is, it's amazing that anyone fits anywhere, and I have to wonder what people give up of themselves to fit in the world. I think that "fitting" in the world may cause some degree of internal dissonance. And while we celebrate those who we perceive to be iconoclastic, we reward those who are compliant and "fit in." What masks do you wear to affirm your validity? #People #EmotionalWellness #CourageOverComfort

This is very similar to a prompt I provide to some of my clients. The key, I think, is to consider this in terms of a narrative, not a momentary event. The "backstory" can be the most powerful part of this.

Storytelling is deeply a part of human nature. When we can think of our life's work as a narrative work, we discover new things about ourselves, our challenges and resilience take on new light, and how we progress through the story can reveal character and inspiration.

The most profound circumstance is when a person cannot recall a story, or even a moment, in their life in which they have been lost and found their way.

That speaks not to a perfect life, but an imperfect awareness (or acceptance) of a life. Because we all have those moments, those stories, those victories and those losses. It is a universally shared human condition.

When I entertain the challenge of this generative question, I struggle because there are so many circumstances in which I have felt lost and I am not completely convinced that I've found my way through any of them.

Life often feels like a long series of imperfect hacks and patches to me.

Working with other people, this is a powerful prompt that often leads to quite a lot of discovery about self. That's good to see.

"Letting go" of attachments doesn't mean going to live in a cave in the forest, or to forego earthly possessions or depriving yourself of pleasure. (But, earthly possessions and gratuitous pleasures may factor into the need to "let go" of attachments). Releasing attachments is more about how you react to the world. It is about your thinking and attitudes and behaviors that may be limiting you or causing you internal dissonance in some way. Easy stuff to talk about, but not a trivial road to travel. That road always starts with sincere intention and a commitment to do the work necessary. It is good work, and if you approach it sincerely and intentionally and diligently, at the end of the day you will be left with that graceful, peaceful feeling you have when you have been doing good work, in flow with the day. #EmotionalWellness #SelfCare #CourageOverComfort #People

Feeling the impulse to re-read the story of our life's work with dismay and regret only means that we have allowed other people to dictate how that story reads, according to some set of external norms and expectations.

But if you spend any time exploring (with real interest) the life's work of other people, just ordinary people like you and I, you may soon discover that everyone has lived a unique and different life, in their own way, even if buffered and beaten and shaped by powerful social narratives.

None of us are required to examine our life's work solely through the lens of external expectations, the metrics of social measuring sticks. We can, each of us, choose to look at our lives in our own unique ways, permitting ourselves to do so equitably and soberly, and independently without judgement.

We are our own worst judges, and we inevitably judge ourselves in the context of dysfunctional social narratives.

Certainly, we can choose to write new chapters in our own voice.

But courage is required. The work can be difficult, especially if it is new to you, and even if it is not. The work is on-going, a practice for fulfillment and peace of mind.

#YourStoryMatters #CourageOverComfort #People #Work

Kindness Practice heals. It's a very special state of mind, a way of being.

But you don't just "become a kind person." You have to be kind, in every moment, every situation, to every person.

Few of us achieve that.

Some people, you may think, do not deserve your kindness, and this may be true. But you deserve that state of grace that kindness brings to you.

I fail in this, sometimes allowing past trauma and hard feelings to get in the way of my practice. But, that's why it's called practice. I think few of us will ever get it perfect.

The point isn't to be perfect. The point is to be kind.

#KindnessPractice #CourageOverComfort #People

Turning transition into transformation often requires that we give up the stuff (or some of the stuff) that had made so much sense to us for all our lives.

So many of the answers we tell ourselves we are looking for -- the mysteries of life, we might call them -- live inside us right now, already in place.

It's not a matter of constructing them. It is a matter of removing the facade hiding them.

(quote by Ram Dass)

#Aging #CourageOverComfort #YourStoryMatters

Predatory For-Profit Education Scams are a soulless blight on American society.

If you are starting the new year in an executive position of responsibility at such an organization, perhaps check your accountability.

If you are an executive at such an organization, perhaps stop turning a blind eye to the fraud and abuses, past, present, and undoubtedly future, perpetuated by your organization(s).

If you are an executive championing "alternative" opportunities to higher education (meaning revenue generating), featuring greater accessibility, perhaps think about the nature of teaching and learning more seriously. Is greater accessibility without support or integrity just another way to pull in some more revenue? To hit your metrics?

If you are an executive in for-profit education, perhaps take a good look at your past history in for-profit education and ask yourself penetrating questions about integrity, honesty, greed, ignorance, incompetence, instead of rationalizing it all away as "political," or "freedom."

Teaching and learning cannot, and should not, be industrialized or automated or converted to a shallow, revenue-grifting commodity.

And remember that you are using American tax dollars to make it all happen. You take, but you fail to return. In fact, without tax dollars (the 90/10 rule is a sham now) you wouldn't be in operation at all.

If you work for an "education institution" that needs NDAs to protect themselves from employees and students, what does that tell you? Or did I just see you shrug your shoulders and smirk?

Myself, I worked for a predatory for-profit education organization for ten years and I still take time every day to wash the stink and trauma off me.

Your fraud and incompetence and rampant sycophancy ultimately destroyed that organization and hurt -- badly hurt -- thousands of decent humans along the way.

Today, through much hard work, I have restored -- rejuvenated -- my life's work with integrity and commitment and service, and my passion has returned. I had to recover from knowing you. You and the rest of your cabal are an affliction that good people have to recover from.

Well done.

But I look at you (you know who you are) and understand how weak you are, and how insubstantial you have chosen your life to be, working for grifters and liars and frauds. I can't pity you (I know I should). You've chosen your substance in life.

We've made our choices and I am sure we each think we've made the right choice for ourselves. And that's probably true. But if I were you, I wouldn't be proud of that.

I know this: you will always have to rationalize or justify or otherwise deflect your accountability for the damage you have done to vulnerable people. This, you see, is written into the story of your life's work. No amount of editing or deleting or exposition will remove it.

As I was growing up there were individuals I would come into contact with that refused to take any path that did not suit them -- they demanded that their path be what they wanted to do, with no compromise. I always thought they were "special" people, somehow build differently than I was. I admired them, while accepting my "go along with the expected flow" state of being. But, going with the flow of other people's expectations never worked well for me. I felt real dissonance and anger. Weirdly, I thought this might be normal. It's not. People who demand that their path be their own are not "special" except that they look inside themselves and find courage and self-esteem, and are willing to suffer inconvenience along with the sometimes caustic ridicule or judgement of others. And now, after all these years, I demand the best for myself. But no mistake, the tug of convenience and of living within the expectations of others is still there. I've learned to turn away from that pressure deliberately and guide my decisions based on my own judgement. The key is believing in yourself enough to create the reality you are interested in. #People #YourStoryMatters #CourageOverComfort

We may serve others in humble, compassionate ways. But we serve in fulfillment of our own expectations of ourselves. Once you own that, living in compassionate service to others is how you thrive. It's where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need. And that's really something. #People #CourageOverComfort #EmotionalWellness

Write your life's story to serve your own needs and desires. Express your deep gladness. Don't spend your life pleasing others, every thought and action to serve their expectations. #YourStoryMatters #CourageOverComfort #People #Career

I created @truevocations at age 65, because I witnessed deep need in the world.

People in doubt. People in transition. People doing the hard work needed to create better lives for themselves.

So I decided to put four-plus decades of experience and expertise back to work -- my life's work -- and work with people as they confront personal and professional transformation.

[email protected]

Anytime is the perfect time to start. Any age. Any circumstance. Just keep growing. Fast or slow, keep moving. It's not a race to win. Or a ladder to climb. This is between you and yourself. Work on yourself, expect something of yourself. #CourageOverComfort #People #YourStoryMatters

Being "inspirational" is surprisingly easy. Be honest, transparent. Be interested, suspend judgement. Don't give advice. Instead, provide questions that lead to new perspectives. Focus on creating possibility. Be a decent human. Let people know you have their back.