The Penitent Mary Magdalene in the Cave, (Detail), (1890), by Edouard Kasparides (Austrian, 1858 – 1926), oil on canvas, 45.5" x 67", Private Collection
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The Penitent Mary Magdalene in the Cave, (Detail), (1890), by Edouard Kasparides (Austrian, 1858 – 1926), oil on canvas, 45.5" x 67", Private Collection

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Portrait of Maria Trip, (Detail), (c. 1639), by Rembrandt (Dutch, 1606 - 1669), oil on panel, 107 cm × 82 cm (42 in × 32 in), Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam
Portrait of an Archduchess, probably Maria Christina, Duchess of Teschen (1742-1798), (Detail), (c. 1770), by an Unknown Artist, oil on canvas, 59 cm (23.2 in) x 49 cm (19.2 in), Private Collection
Virgin of the Adoption by Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres (1858)
Sleep well Marjane Satrapi. You were a huge influence on me and my work in a way that cannot be understated. You will be missed but your work will carry on for generations to come

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The Flower Girl, Capri (also known as Capri Girl with Flowers), (detail), by Sophie Gengembre Anderson (French-born British, 1823 – 1903), oil on canvas, 36 x 28 in (91.4 x 71.2 cm), Private Collection
The Birth of Aphrodite (1904) by Norman Prescott-Davies (British, 1862 – 1915), signed and dated ‘1904’ (lower left), oil on canvas, 105.5 x 60cm (41½ x 23½ in.), Private Collection
okay, unless I get anons, I truthfully believe my half man era is coming to an end. at least i hope lol
the failure(s); the many loves of the vampire lestat
prints • insta • twt
It's so interesting how Mona and Lori were constantly demonized by the fandom for enabling Ruben's behavior and failing to protect Niall, because the fandom, in a sense, does the same.
You've all become boy mom's in relation to Ruben. His actions are afforded some sort of empathy and leeway that other characters don't get. His relationship to Niall is softened so that the extent of abuse is taken away.
He's not Niall's abuser, he's Niall's true love in another life.
"Oh, he's this way because of his father" "Oh, actually Niall's the bad one" "He deserves so much better in another life".
The concern for Niall flies out of the window. You don't want Niall and Ruben to be happy "in another life" for Niall. You want it for Ruben, even at the expense of Niall's safety.
Niall isn't owed his victimhood. His murder and sexual assault at the hands of Ruben is seen as a tragic act that harmed both of them. Ruben isn't the aggressor to fandom. He's a victim in Niall's story two.
Both are just abused boys fighting toxic masculinity and homophobia. You're making Ruben hijack Niall's story so he seems more palatable.
Like the irony of disliking Mona and Lori and perpetrating the same enabling attitude is such a weird phenomena
You are not immune to sympathizing with an abusive man who looks conveniently attritive and has a sob story.

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I found a Half Man post that I'm sure you'll greatly appreciate: https://www.reddit.com/r/HalfManTV/comments/1tsysuw/the_tiger_and_the_rat_charismatic_abusers_and/
Just sharing this quote below. Thanks for sharing this banger with me. People romanticize Ruben and his abuse to the point of believing his not past being reformed or saved. Meanwhile, Niall is made to be a worse villain than Ruben, and his victimhood is stripped from him.
Anyway, please go read that reddit post yall.
Niall becomes 'rat-like', while Ruben is 'tiger-like'.
Both animals can be dangerous. Both can hurt others. Yet they evoke radically different emotional reactions. People admire tigers. They are powerful, beautiful, dominant, and dangerous in ways that feel dignified. A tiger's violence feels natural to it. Rats evoke a different response. They are associated with cowardice, scavenging, disease, furtiveness, and survival at any cost. A rat's aggression feels petty rather than grand.
The audience's reaction often follows the same pattern. Ruben's violence is frightening, but it remains legible. Niall's weakness provokes a more visceral form of contempt because his coping mechanisms and his suffering lack the qualities people instinctively romanticize.
Ruben's transition from victim to abuser does not disrupt the narrative audiences have constructed. If anything, it reinforces it. Trauma leading to violence is a very familiar story. Audiences know how to process it. Niall presents a more uncomfortable problem. He remains a victim, yet he fails to embody the traits people associate with sympathic victimhood. His existence creates a contradiction that Ruben's does not.
Ruben's violence, manipulation, and cruelty don't create a sense of betrayal because they fit the abuser role he occupies. The audiences expect abusive behavior from him. People continue searching for context, explanations, even excuses. They seek the romanticized tragedy within him, and some invent it when they can't find it.
happy pride to Black lesbians and Black trans women!
random PSA, I know a lot of people use duckduckgo as a Google alternative search engine, but it always kind of annoyed me when I was using it because it felt like No Name Brand Google
I have switched to using Startpage.com and vastly prefer it. for one thing, instead of displaying an "AI summary" at the top of the search results (unless you turn it off, yes I know), it displays the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, with link, whenever it finds one that's relevant.
also a waaayyyyy better sense of design than duckduckgo
also private, European based, least annoying search I've used lately (RIP old "don't be evil" Google)
Keeping a list of Google alternatives just in case…
i have one of those, scraped from multiple different rec posts:
Search Engines
Infinity Search is an alternative search engine with a special focus on privacy
DuckDuckGo is a popular search engine for those who value their privacy and are put off by the thought of their every query being tracked and logged. Uses bangs, ![site] for in-page search (sells your data to microsoft and draws from fucking bing)
WolframAlpha is a privately owned search engine that allows you to “compute expert-level answers using Wolfram’s breakthrough algorithms, knowledgebase, and AI technology.” A data search engine.
Boardreader is a search engine for forums and message boards. It allows you to search forums and then filter down results by date and language.
Based in France, Qwant is a privacy-based search engine that won’t record your searches or use your personal details for advertising. Uses “&” as a bang search.
Another privacy-based search engine is Search Encrypt, which uses local encryption to ensure that users’ identifiable information cannot be tracked. Metasearch across multiple engines.
Offering unbiased results from several sources, SearX is a metasearch engine that aims to present a free, decentralized view of the internet. Can be self-hosted.
Gibiru’s tagline is “Unfiltered private search” and that’s exactly what it offers. Requires AnonymoX Firefox add-on for privacy.
Disconnect allows you to conduct anonymous searches through a search engine of your choice.
Swisscows provides fully encrypted searches to protect your privacy and security. Built-in violence/porn filter cannot be overridden.
MetaGer offers “Privacy Protected Search & Find” through its anonymised search. A plugin will allow it to be made a default.
Gigablast is a private search engine that indexes millions of websites and servers real-time information without tracking your data, keeping you hidden from marketers and spammers. Variety of filtration and refinement options for searching.
Oscobo is a search engine that protects your privacy while you search the web. By not using any third-party tools or scripts, your data is protected from hacking and misuse. Has a Chrome extension to allow use in toolbar.
https://search.marginalia.nu/ an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed. Use old-school searching rather than query-based for the best results.
https://www.mojeek.com/
https://wiby.me/ - It’s goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites.
https://4get.ca/ it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesn’t have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think it’s the best for research, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can.
https://www.searchenginemap.com/ for more on how search engines relate to each other.
https://yep.com/ is a crawler
https://www.etools.ch/ retrieves from Google, Mojeek, Bing, and Yandex, like Searx
https://www.dogpile.com/
https://searxng.org/ (next gen Searx)
https://luxxle.com/ - possibly conservative?
https://presearch.com/ - good for academic?
https://kagi.com/smallweb - free/randomised Kagi.
Other Searchers
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.https://cosine.club/ is an electronic music similarity search engine
being almost 30 and unable to sit still for prolonged periods of time is a level of hell i stg
Filed under "things that sounded funnier in my head"

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Niall loves Ruben in the same way Niall loves drugs.
Another aspect that's widely discounted in Ruben and Niall's relationship is Ruben's likeness to a drug. Ruben exists in the same spheres of life that Niall's cocaine, meth, and sex parties exist in the same spheres.
"Niall really loves Ruben" Of course he does, in the same way he loves drugs and sex, and things that tear him to pieces. Ruben functions the same role as Niall's typical vices do, they consume him, they alienate him, and they hurt him.
I think there's no way in which Ruben and Niall's love for one another is genuine or pure. The dynamic existed on a shaky foundation when Ruben sexually assaulted Niall.
I don't doubt they love each other, but I think it's convulsed and not of Niall's full consent. I think the ease at which he fell back into "old habits" when Ruben appeared at his wedding is no different than someone in recovery relapsing because of a traumatic, or difficult event.
Another interesting dynamic between Alby and Ruben in relationship to Niall is how Alby represents Niall's self acceptance while Ruben represents his repression. The gender dynamics are insanely interesting too. Alby leans more towards his fem, flamboyantly gay side.
Ruben is a brick wall of toxic masculinity and homophobia mixed into one. Ruben puts Niall back in the closest, figuratively and literally.
He kills Niall after Niall confesses how he feels about him. He ruins a day centered around Niall's sexuality. He locks him in a shed. He uses physical violence against him. That's why it's so hard for me to get behind the "Ruben is secretly queer or Ruben is an ally." Ruben's existence is contradictory to Niall's self acceptance.