from the shadows.

The artist smiled, tilting his head to the side while his hand caresses Shen’s cheek. “Let’s explore what more your body might like, shall we?” He suggested, pulling away and then started to follow the hallway again. “Come.” He instructed.

Moving through his home they soon found themselves on the second floor.

The artist’s had many rooms, but his private dorm was what he adored the most. Inside of the room stood a grand bed and in the ceiling hanged tobacco cloth in lovely colors. By the windows stood candela of different sizes on mix matched pedestals. The room itself had this shy and pleasant scent of rose, and another door that led into the artist’s personal walk-in closet. The bed was overflowing with pillows of all shapes and forms, mixed colors just like the cloth that hanged from the roof. Though, what mattered now wasn’t exactly what what’s in the room, rather than whom.

Jhin turned to Shen, wearing a rather disappointed expression.

“It’s a shame that you can’t see really…” oh and he wasn’t only referring to his decoration indoors. No, no, no… Shen probably couldn’t see it like anyone else could, but he could surely figure out that the man in front of him was undressing his upper torso, allowing his bloodied shirt fall to the floor. Something that was rare of Jhin to do as a perfectionist. “Join me” He invites the other, waiting patiently.

Shen didn’t know why he obeyed- then again, he didn’t know why he hadn’t just left when he knew it wouldn’t have ended up the way he had originally wanted it to. Or perhaps... perhaps this was exactly how he wanted it to go.

Of course, he couldn’t see just how well decorated Jhin’s private room was- didn’t care too much either. He knew it must be extra, with how much of a perfectionist Jhin was. He heard the rustling of fabric though and turned his head towards it- gaze watching blindly as the shirt was removed. Oh, he definitely knew what was happening. He didn’t mind not being able to see- though he did wonder what Jhin’s body looked like.

He could hear the barely there thud of slightly wet fabric falling to the floor in a pile, lost in thought momentarily until Jhin spoke. Shen hesitated for a few seconds before taking off his armored pieces and letting them drop to the ground. Whether or not Jhin’s eyes were on him, Shen still felt shame creeping up on him but swallowed it down. This was ridiculous. He took off his own shirt next, dropping it to the ground next to him. His entire upper body was littered with scars, some deep and some shallow, and his back had a particularly nasty scar in the shape of claw marks.

He remembered the day he got it like it had just happened, but that was for another day.

The artist waited patiently for the right kind of words. If anyone thought this was easy they were dead wrong. Jhin had planned this, in a way. Knowing how and what to say, where to touch in order to make Shen so desperate that he actually turned against his own common sense and duties.

At this very moment, Jhin could already taste it. A sweet, delightful taste of supremacy over the other. Shen was offering himself, here and now even though he knows it’s wrong in every aspect possible. This was something Jhin wouldn’t tease him for, but instead reward him.

So, finally, and most delicately he kissed the ninja, sensually. It was a slow pace of affection, allowing Shen to experience it fully. The artist’s hands moved up to cup the ninja’s cheeks, holds him firmly. The blade of cold steel pressed against Shen’s face as he did, always adding a hint of danger when the opportunity was given.

The kiss continued, Jhin’s lips playing and tasting as the tip of his tongue sometimes teased. And while he kissed the man, he also moved the egg on the blade, letting it gently scratch along the ninja’s cheek, down his throat.

“You like this, don’t you?” He mumbled, feeling how Shen’s breathing shot through the roof as he toyed with the blade against him. “You like it when I take control.” Jhin stated, breaking the kiss as he gently bit and pulled the other man’s lower lip tenderly. The blade traveled even further down, but was then dropped. The steel sang as it hit the floor. Forgotten.

Shen’s fingers curled around the fabric of Jhin’s shirt when lips met his- the ninja didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t something this soft; even with the cold of the knife’s metal pressed against his cheek, likely smearing still wet blood onto him. Shen found he didn’t mind even though the touch itself brought a nervous lump to his throat.

Shen found he was much more interested in the lips against his, the tongue that pressed against his; begging- nay, commanding for him to open his mouth to let it in. Shen complied, golden eyes closing as he leaned into the kiss. He had no idea what he was doing so he simply tried to copy what Jhin did until the knife trailing down his cheek to his throat distracted him.

The Eye found himself shuddering at that very feeling, his Adam's apple bobbing up against the knife as he swallowed. Jhin’s words made his face heat up- and he thought he had already been feeling hot- and he opened his eyes while his chest heaved up and down. This was a mess, Shen mused, but one his body was slowly getting addicted to.

He made a soft noise- something akin to a groan but almost inaudible- when his lower lip was pulled, the other’s words building up even more shame in him. Yes. Yes, he did like it when Jhin took control. He liked it when control- something he had on a daily basis- was taken from him. He liked the threat of the knife pressing into his chest as it trailed down until it fell to the floor with a clatter- trying his hardest not to breathe too heavily in case it cut him. But perhaps that wouldn’t be too bad.

Bloody hell, Shen was a mess. A wonderful, wonderful mess. Jhin adored the way that Shen’a body did the talking for him, how the man tried his best to play with words so that he actually didn’t need to say it out loud. Something that the artist would play with.

“Oh, Shen.” He said with a caring touch, he’s head leaning in close to nuzzle against the man’s cheek. “I will make you feel everything.” He purred, his voice all husky. “Make you feel so good.” He added.

So, there and then, Jhin recreated their previous interaction by pushing the ninja up against the wall, his golden hand still holding onto the knife. His lips kissed the Eye’s cheeks, moving painfully close to his lips where he know that Shen wanted him to taste. “But you will have to ask me nicely.” Jhin said, smirking. “Say please.” The artist listened to Shen’s shaky breath, noting how his body was screaming for attention.

To think that Shen was so lonely, so needy was almost painful to know. But then yet again, to know that Jhin would be the first one to ever Mark this man, this pure and innocent- innocent? Come on. We both know better. Shen may be many things but not innocent and even if anyone would claim such, Jhin was soon to change that- in more ways than one.

Whether or not Shen was actually blushing right now was beyond him- he couldn’t tell, the only thing he knew was that his cheeks were burning up. He had come here to get rid of Jhin- that much he was no certain of- but that option was long out the window. He inhaled sharply, feet moving along with him as he was pushed up the wall.

Shen had no idea what to do with his hands- did he... touch Jhin? Why would he? But just letting them hang there, limply, without anything to do felt awkward- empty. Jhin’s lips to his cheeks felt good- too good- and he only wanted more. Though with Jhin’s words reaching him and the realization that he had just asked Shen to beg- the Eye was uncertain he’d get that.

He didn’t... beg. Right? Right?

“...” He opened his mouth to say something but glanced off in embarrassment, one hand clutching at the fabric of his pants before he let out a shaky breath. He was struggling so much- so conflicted, confused yet needy. He needed this or he’d never get over it. “... P- Please.” Please what, Shen? What was it you wanted him to do?

One hand placed itself awkwardly onto Jhin’s chest, perhaps to steel or gather himself. He felt so small compared to the artist and while he wasn’t particularly tall, he was still a lot more muscular than Jhin. Breathing in deeply once more, Shen slowly looked back up at where he assumed Jhin’s eyes were. “Please...” Oh, how he struggled with saying what he wanted to say without actually saying it and sounding desperate- even though he was so desperate. So painfully desperate.

“Oh…” Jhin was surprised by the other’s sudden embrace, but he didn’t reject him for it. He listened intensely to what Shen said, trying to figure out how he was to twist and turn them against him. The fact that the arm around him only tightened told Jhin more than he needed to know – Shen was nervous- again.

The artist tilted his head to the side, his warm hand moving up to pull down the mask once again to reveal that handsome face. “We may have our differences, but I don’t judge you for them.” Jhin almost purred, smiling. “I embrace what I am. You’re struggling.” Jhin leaned in close, squinting. “I remember the taste of you…” He said while licking his own lips as he recalled the feeling of when his own tongue had traveled over Shen’s lips. Jhin was just playing with his food at this moment.

He loved the fact that Shen was hugging him, slowly falling, right where he wanted him. “You could have gone to anyone, and yet you return to me.” His hand started to caress Shen’s naked cheek, moving down along his neck, fingers gently squeezing. “Now, why is that?”  

Truth be told, Jhin wanted to know. Had he truly managed to infest the poor ninja’s mind so? Shen was here, more or less offering himself to him even though knowing the risks – if that wasn’t a turn on then Jhin didn’t know what is.

Of course he was nervous. It was only normal when the first man- the first person- who ever touched him in that way was someone he considered his enemy. An enemy. He shifted a little, embarrassed that his face was once more bared to Jhin and he didn’t even make a move to stop it. Shen let out a shaky breath when Jhin came oh-so-close- when those words reached his ears.

His hold on Jhin’s wrist tightened once more, blunt nails digging crescents into the supple skin there before he pulled away awkwardly. “You... You know just as well as I do that I cannot just go to anyone.” I have a reputation to uphold- those words went unspoken yet remained thick in the air. Jhin would absolutely know what he didn’t say.

At least, this time, Shen didn’t flinch away when Jhin’s hand touched his cheek, though he did let out another trembling exhale when it reached up to his neck. Jhin could kill him just then and Shen wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Why did he enjoy that feeling of powerlessness? Why did he enjoy not knowing just what it was that Jhin was planning to do to him? Why did he like the thrill in the unknown, the thrill of the danger that Jhin was fully capable of inflicting onto him.

Yet again another question Shen could not answer.

The moment that the artist heard how someone was giving out their position he was ready to throw the dagger at them. Luckily for Shen, Jhin didn’t.

Instead, Jhin was delighted to hear the voice of someone familiar. “Shen?” The smirk that crept on the artist’s lips was not only mischievous, but also filled with pure and utter satisfaction. His patience has bared him fruit, sweeter than the honeydew that grew in the forests. Shen had returned to him - of course he would, you knew this but OH THE JOY OF IT. After all, Jhin had been the one to invite him in the first place, and he would make sure to give the man a warm welcome.

“Hm?” Jhin sounded surprised at Shen’s last statement, looking down on himself and saw the mess. “Yes, I do, don’t I?” He chuckled madly, looking up at the ninja again and slowly started walking to him. “We all have our jobs to do. You out of everyone understand that.” Jhin said, his metal finger clicking against the blade in his hand. A part of Jhin wanted to stab Shen where he stood, but there was so much more than simply stabbing a man that brought the artist pleasure. Not to speak about inspiration.

Shen stood proud and handsome, as always and the demon appreciated the fact that the ninja was showing himself to him so willingly. He was still wearing too much of course, but that could be arranged.

Jhin knew very well why Shen was here, and yet he had to tease him about it. “You missed me, didn’t you?” another chuckle. “Or, well, my touch I believe it is that you’re here for.”

Shen’s head tilted slightly at the sound of metal clinking against metal but, ultimately, didn’t care too much about it. His eyes, however, never left Jhin’s energy- fixated entirely on it and how it came ever closer. There was a little part of him, at the very back of his mind, that wanted him to pull away- as there always will be. He had accepted his fate, however- but perhaps there was the tiniest bit of hope that doing this once would get rid of this feeling forever.

He doubted it though. His body had tasted the very thing he’d denied it for decades, he doubted it would be very happy with being denied it once more after getting another taste.

Muscular arms folded across his chest, golden eyes narrowing at Jhin. Did he expect Shen to admit to that? Wasn’t it enough for him to be here? Didn’t that make it obvious already? Shen’s lips curled down slightly into a frown, still hidden by the cloth that covered it, as he moved one hand to grab onto Jhin’s wrist- keeping the hand that was holding the knife still.

“These last few months were hell.” A pause, Shen’s eyes returning to their usual size with a sigh. “Because of you.” Shen couldn’t quite admit anything- he wasn’t even certain of what he wanted, himself. In any case, his emotions and thoughts were as conflicted as they had been before he got here. He wanted to end Jhin’s life but, at the same time, he wanted to be touched.

His grip around Jhin’s wrist tightened momentarily, perhaps to steel himself, and then he glanced up to where he assumed Jhin’s eyes would be. While it did feel awkward to stare at an amorphous blob of energy in the vague shape of a head rather than the entire aura itself, Shen could not think of any other way to express himself.

Unaware of the fact that the Eye was visiting him, Jhin carried on with his daily life, as he always had. Though, one could have wished that Shen would have picked another day to visit - for his own sake.

Down in the basement Jhin was currently holding up and had been for the past hours. He was interrogating a man of power who was of interest for those who controlled the Demon, a task that wasn’t all that rare. Sometimes it was easy to get the information that Jhin wanted to collect, and sometimes not. Today though, it had been too easy. And thus, he would continue to torture and add further agony to the poor man to suffer through. With or without tools of destruction, Jhin still managed to make his victim scream in tunes they never thought themselves capable of making.

Though, Jhin was tired and his fun with the man was coming to an end. So, he leaves the basement, walking up carelessly as if nothing had ever happened. His clothes were drenched in red and he didn’t really care how it might drip onto the floor. Sighing pleasantly, Jhin continued down the hallway, his fingers playing with a dagger that he had used on the victim downstairs. He was smiling to himself, carelessly, but then he suddenly halted.

For some reason he felt himself being watched, and he tried to figure out who was foolish enjoy to break into his home without knocking first. He has had too many burglars recently, all dealt with, of course.

“Don’t you know that it’s impolite to sneak into people’s homes uninvited?” Jhin spoke loud and clear, a hint of irritation that caused his smile to fade as he still had no idea of who was visiting.

Shen found himself truly indifferent to what it was that Jhin did in his free time- he already knew how terrible of a person he was; what would seeing his work in progress- in person- change? It would only make this entire ordeal feel even more wrong, he thought, then. But that wasn’t what he wanted- Shen didn’t want... He didn’t want people to die for his sick sense of... whatever it was.

Jhin had truly ruined him- and it had taken but a simple touch.

One hand moved up to his temples to rub at them as he tried to gather his thoughts. They were a mess and always were if he wasn’t shoving piles of work down his throat. Shen sighed when Jhin spoke up- while he could not see the blood, he could certainly smell it- his assumptions had been correct and Shen was relieved that he had not gone to look for him.

The loss of sight truly did heighten all one’s other senses and he wasn’t certain if he liked that at the moment.

Months had passed since then and still, Shen’s memories plagued him. He had tried to bury them under a load of work, tried to bury himself along with it, but every time his work ran out those thoughts would come rushing back into his mind.

Oh, but how he hated it. How he hated that no matter what he did those thoughts would come right back- how they haunted him both in and out of his dreams. How he would wake with a start, embarrassed at his body’s reaction and try as he may to ignore it, even Shen’s will and mental strength were no longer enough to ignore his body’s will.

At least in the spiritual world, he was safe from the thoughts.

Shen needed to put a stop to this even if his thoughts screamed at him to push through- to ignore it. Whatever Jhin had done to him was ingrained in his body now, though, there was no pushing through it. There was no forgetting it. Shen knew that Jhin knew exactly what he had done to him.

He could get revenge- could show up at the Golden Demon’s house and end his life. But... Shen wasn’t like that. Shen couldn’t do that either. Killing Jhin would make Shen just as bad as him- ridding the world of one killer only added another, there was no such thing as getting rid of a murderer.

So why did Shen find himself inside of Jhin’s grounds, hidden in the shadows, if not to kill him? Why did Shen go inside of Jhin’s house, still hiding in the shadows- waiting for the man to get home or show up-, if not to kill him?

“Is that so? Hm… Shame.” Jhin said with a dull tune to his voice, his expression bored. An expression that soon would change as he were to toy with the man from his past. It didn’t matter how much Shen pressed himself against the wall. It would remain there, just like he would until Jhin was done with him.

“This…” He started, lips only parting slightly so that he could mumble for only Shen to hear while his hand groped the ninja’s crotch, fingers teasing playfully. Shen didn’t move, and it didn’t surprise Jhin considering how he had acted so far.

“This is what you will fantasies about when you’re alone and touching yourself.” Jhin said with a warm breath, his lips tasting along what was exposed of man’s neck, working himself up.

“This is what will be on your mind while among other people.” He continued, delivering a gentle bite against the soft skin.

“This is what you will be longing for, day out and day in.” Another nibble, his tongue enjoying the nervous pearls of sweat.

“This is what you will continue to desire even though you know that it’s wrong.” He continued, his hand still squeezing while a greedy tongue licked over the soft, sensual buds on the other before moving up to the ninja’s ear, whispering: “Me, me, me, me…”

…And then, he pulled away, leaving the flustered, most confused ninja on Runeterra. 

He had noticed it all, every breath, every twitch, every swallowed grunt that Shen tried to hide while he toyed with him like some piece of meat. 

“If you ever do manage to find the time and wish to explore more of this, then you’re more than welcome to visit my private grounds.” Jhin said with a charming smile as if he was offering the man to visit him for a cup of tea. Now that he had given Shen a taste, he was sure that the Eye wouldn’t be able to forget about it, not matter how hard he tried. Hell, he could only imagine the sheer frustration that would grew within the other when he finally realizes what have happened here.

It was hilarious.

Jhin snickered, wishing that he could stay and just observe how Shen would shatter to all his upcoming emotions. But that would ruin it. Yes, Shen would have to face this, alone, until his stubborn self finally gives in.

And so, Jhin acts all formal, giving a respectful bow to the Eye before turning his back to him and walked out.

Shen jumped at the hand placing itself against his crotch, one hand moving to grab onto Jhin’s wrist in a futile hand to make him stop- though Shen couldn’t even put any force to his grip. His entire face was red now, the blush reaching all the way to his ears as he made a sound similar to a whimper.

He could move- push Jhin away with the physical strength he held over the demon- but he didn’t.

He didn’t know why.

Perhaps it was the lonely part of himself that controlled him- the touch-starved part of him that begged him to let himself be touched, even if it was like this. Even if it was by his enemy. But how good it felt to finally- finally- be given the touches his body so craved even though he knew how wrong it was. Or perhaps it was the fact that he held no power over this situation- and, oh, how good it felt to not be tasked with responsibilities for just a moment; to be given the choice to give in, for once, instead of drowning himself in work, work and more work.

No, Shen truly didn’t know why.

Jhin takes a step back, but he just couldn’t allow the proud Eye squirm himself out of this one. “Gracious, if you could only see yourself right now.” Jhin taunts, moving up his human hand to first cover a smirk before biting down on one of his knuckles as his mind drifted off too far again. “Truly erotic.” He said, feeling how his reason to be here was slowly coming together.

Shen was inexperienced, he had to be. The way he moved, the way he almost stuttered, so pure…so innocent. Jhin couldn’t help but to suddenly lose himself to a laugh, a mad amusement making him tip his upper body forward as it was all too easy.

“You can’t possibly be that daft?” Jhin questioned when finally managing to recollect himself from his laughter. Again he moved close to Shen, this time even more dominant than before, his body pressing against the ninja’s as he towered over him. “I want to break you. I need to make your world collapse. I want to tear your very existence, shred everything that you think yourself of knowing. The one and almighty Shen, the Eye of Twilight. Always collected, always all-seeing. Chosen.”

The cold, golden hand of the artist grasped the ninja’s chin, forcing him to look up at him, meeting the intense gaze of Jhin’s pretty orbs. “And yet, with all your pretty names you’re blushing at the slightest touch.” He pointed out, just to tease him even more.  

Shen nearly sputtered- erotic? Had Jhin lost his mind? Actually, nevermind that. He was pretty certain the other had, in fact, lost his mind. Especially when Jhin started to laugh. His gaze drifted back to where he knew the door was- perhaps he could make a run for it- but ultimately, Shen steeled himself and stayed put.

He felt the shiver that ran down his spine when Jhin approached him once more- felt himself try to stick as far back against the wall as possible; to no avail, of course. He was already stuck against it, incapable of even moving away. He’d been so lost in thought and confused that the very thought itself of moving off the wall hadn’t crossed his mind and now he was stuck- again- between a wall that won’t budge and Jhin- who won’t budge either, likely.

Shen felt a little bit like a deer in headlights, at the moment, Jhin’s words causing him to shut down for just a moment. Now hold on there- Shen had never even kissed before- of course, he’d be oblivious to things that included that; and more. The Eye was gone for the moment, leaving him as just poor, scared and lonely Shen and he hated it. He hated it so much. He wanted nothing more to return to not feeling anything but Jhin made that impossible. So why not hit him? Why not get rid of him? Permanently. And Shen hated that he couldn’t go through with what his thoughts were begging him to do- to kill. It would make everything better, it would help him in the long run and yet-

“Liar.” Jhin started, his smile only increasing while he watched the Eye struggle with his choice of words.

“Everyone experiences loneliness. Even you.” Jhin pointed out, his tone still soft. He didn’t exactly know where he was going with this conversation, but seeing how it affected the other confirmed that it was a subject that caused Shen to behave differently than what the rest of the commoners was given to see.

It was somewhat flattering, to be honest.

Jhin smiled, leaning in close to the other man, his breath so close to the other’s face. Their lips almost touching. “Do you know what I do when I feel lonely?” he asked, seeing if Shen would take the bait. His hands placed neatly on Shen’s strong torso, gently pushing as he steered him up against the wall. The fact that Shen hadn’t punched him yet was almost shocking. Still, Jhin knew exactly what he was doing, and he had some ideas of how to torment Shen even more, even when he wouldn’t be in his presence.

The longer this went on, the more Shen broke down and the fact that he was breaking down so easily- after so many years of carefully building up that wall- angered him. Jhin’s words spun circles in his mind, repeating over and over- everyone experiences loneliness. even you- and, by the Celestials, Shen hated how right Jhin was.

Jhin leaning in even closer rattled him to the very core- their lips much too close for two lifelong enemies and Shen could feel his face heat up in embarrassment. The Eye placed a hand on one of Jhin’s shoulder to push him away only to freeze as the other placed his hands onto his chest and spoke- asked him a question that he had no answer to- all while moving him backward. He unconsciously allowed himself to be led until he realized that his back was against the wall and he had nowhere to pull away to.

“I would rather not-” Shen’s voice trailed off at the end, clearly uncomfortable with how close they were and how close their lips were and- Shen quite nearly shuddered as their breath mingled and with a sharp exhale, shoved Jhin away. His chest was very clearly heaving as he tried to calm himself down. “What...” A deep inhale and Shen tried to take a step back only to remember that he was still pressed to the wall, so, instead, he glanced towards the door- betraying his very thoughts. Run and don’t look back- but that would make him a coward and Shen wasn’t-

He was but he wouldn’t show it.

“Oh? Well that’s a title I can accept gladly.” The artist tilted his head, eyes blinking. The pupils dilated and contracted, a sign of his own inner struggle that perhaps not Shen was capable of seeing physically, but maybe at least notice in sense of energy. The Demon within the artist proved to be more eager at times, and keeping control was sometimes a challenge for Jhin. Voices whispering, begging him to end Shen in the most brutal way possible. Yet, this was not the time. Shen’s life was not his to take, not today anyhow.

No, today was made for something else. Something FUN.

Today, the Demon would have to be patient.

“Suppose you’re right…” Jhin responded to the man’s words regarding his room. Though, the smirk soon returned to the artist’s lips, seeing how Shen backed away from him. It was obvious to him that Shen was uncomfortable in his presence, and even more so when he had to deal with physical contact. “Do you ever feel lonely?” Jhin asked, this time with a tone sweet and almost caring. Again, the artist moved even closer to the ninja, his human finger moving up to grip the edge of Shen’s mask that covered half of his face, slowly pulling it down to reveal those wonderful, untouched lips of his. “All your duties, all the expectations… and yet you have no one to share the burden with. Everyone watching, everyone judging…” Jhin said, words falling as silk in the wind.

Shen truly had aged like fine wine, strong and beautiful in his own way. They had both changed throughout the years, both body and mind, for better or worse.

Shen’s mind was reeling- why was he sitting here; making idle chatter with a man he deemed a terrible person in every regard. All because of some innocent civilians he had wanted to keep safe, he supposed. In hindsight, it could be worse, but still... Shen would much rather be alone and emotionless than be with Jhin and confused. He did notice the fluctuation of Jhin’s energy but paid it no mind- he was too busy trying to make sense of what was happening.

Golden eyes widened in surprise slightly at Jhin’s question, almost taking a step back in retaliation to the other moving closer to him. But he didn’t. He didn’t because he had already shown so much weakness in the short amount of time he’d been with Jhin and he chastised himself enough about it.

Shen wouldn’t answer, wouldn’t flinch away from the hand that tugged at his mask- wouldn’t stop him because even if he did he was certain Jhin would continue. Though his eyes narrowed and he unconsciously swallowed a lump that had formed itself in his throat, Shen remained unmoving for the most part- he’d never admit that the Golden Demon being so close to him (close enough to kill him) made him nervous.

Though Shen couldn’t put his thoughts together properly at the moment.

“... I don’t have...” Shen would glance away, awkwardly and incapable of formulating the sentence he wanted to because of Jhin being so close to him- still touching him. He thought he had made it obvious that he’d rather not be touched but... He bit back the swallow and glanced back over at Jhin- an attempt to be stoic was made but, really, it was obvious how conflicted and confused Shen was feeling.

“... I don’t have time to feel lonely.” he finally managed to say- even though it was a lie. Most likely the most blatant lie he’d ever told; to himself at least. Shen was lonely, he had lost not one, not two but three of the people closest to him. He had lost his father, he had lost Zed, he had lost Akali. It weighed heavily on his soul, broke his already fractured heart into pieces. But god forbid he admit it to anyone- to himself.