Hyperchroma Hell

ok idk if this is going to sound weird or not and is kind of embarrassing for me to admit to BUT I really wish there was like. some kind of adult version of something with a similar function to a pacifier without actually being a pacifier. I know there's chewelry but it doesn't really satisfy the exact same urge simce most aren't really built for sucking specifically and even though I do get some kind of residual sucking urge the level of infantalization that comes with a pacifier just really isn't my thing and the idea of using one at all makes me recoil to the point that even mentioning the concept is something I don't want to do. even though I experience involuntary age regression that kind of stuff is a bit too baby-ish for me especially as I still consider myself an adult. that being said sucking on my fingers definitely isn't ideal or really sanitary so I kinda wish there was a necklace similar to how chewelry works but that's meant to be sucked on rather than chewed on to help adults with that residual urge. I kinda feel like...ok have you ever seen or had a cat who was weaned too early so they nurse on soft fabric LOL that's how I feel and I want something more subtle to satisfy that urge

I struggle so hard with being an anticapitalist while also having my biggest childhood comforts being inherently capitalistic in nature 😭😭😭 wtf am I supposed to do...

my little pony cartoons give me comfort. my little pony cartoons exist because ronald reagan reduced regulations on advertising to children and companies like hasbro took advantage of that to manipulate kids into watching children's media that was designed to make them want toys. my brain is comforted by toy advertisements. my life is an existential crisis