TrivialBob

She's worn out from working as an EMT, both physically and mentally. Little of the job is for actual emergencies.

Instead, they transport patients to emergency rooms by ambulance because the people mistakenly believe they get to cut to the front of the always long lines with their bruised toe.

Or no one in the household wants to get up and drive a significant other or grandparent to urgent care or a clinic. As a result, they dial 911 and an ambulance brings them to an ER. Someone has to stay home and feed the cat!

There are bariatric patients who are simply too large to be transported by family or nursing home staff. The fire department is usually dispatched to assist, as firefighters are needed to help lift the patients. This happens far more often that you might realize.

People call for ambulances for minor things all the time. It's a $2,000 taxi ride in the back of a truck. Yes, it really costs that much, mostly to taxpayers. No one can be turned away or discouraged from using emergency medical services for any reason.

Sheila grew tired of the wastefulness of it all, though she truly likes working when a job is interesting.

A former colleague from her days as a sheriff's detective years ago reached out recently. He had started a private investigations company and said he could use her help.

Last night she and I had planned to go out to dinner. Sheila got called, asking her to go to a different restaurant and watch someone.

So, we went to the other restaurant. In the parking lot, we both searched for a specific car and license plate. Sheila spotted it, confirming the subject was inside.

We got a table where Sheila could observe that person. She pretended to take a picture of me when she was really getting shots of the subject. I put on a good show by smiling very nicely for the camera and saying "cheese!"

It's not quite like the Bicentennial Spirit of '76 hoopla I remember from my childhood, but was still with a lot of friends and having a good time.

We all spent a good portion of the day out on the river and the lake on our friends' pontoon boat. There were many people out there we didn't know... until today. We made friends, swam, and chatted with all sorts of other boaters. Blessedly, I heard zero fireworks.

I loved the assortment of boats we saw. Expensive pontoon boats and cruisers, then some homemade-ish craft, including this one I saw with chain-link fence for a railing.

People and watercraft were decorated with stars and stripes, as were bikinis, swimsuits, and bartenders' tight tank tops at a lakeside bar we stopped at.

While boating, we saw a bald eagle swoop in and snatch a fish not far from us. 'Merica!

We also did our part to help with Wisconsin's aluminum recycling efforts, though no one got too silly.

Summer weather warnings came in four flavors: severe storm watches, severe storm warnings, tornado watches, and tornado warnings. If weather looked bad, we'd turn on the TV to see if our county was appearing in the scroll at the bottom of the screen to learn if we'd get the Wizard of Oz experience.

I often asked my mom which was worse, watch or warning, because I forgot. These days, I remember. A warning means the event has happened nearby and a watch just means conditions are ripe for it to occur.

Tonight, the three of us ate dinner and played bingo at a bar we like.

The paper envelopes for silverware amused me. I had a burger and fries, and didn't need to unwrap mine. I wonder if they reuse unopened packets.

Bingo was a bit chaotic. For example, the caller didn't have a microphone, and his cadence was akin to an auctioneer's. It was still fun, especially when anyone called "Bingo!" and the rest of the bar started chanting, "Bullshit, bullshit!"

Red and white checkboard wax paper, plastic baskets, and a bingo dauber.

After each bingo there was a consolation round for a bar chip. I got one!

What is it good for?

Oh happiness!

Our bar tab didn't seem to match up to how much we ate and drank. I kept the free drink chip for another time. Sheila tipped the bartender well.

Sheila and me:

There's a bottle of Jack Daniel's Apple Whiskey in that picture. A woman seated near me ordered it with ginger ale; just hearing that made me want to brush my teeth.

A bunch of the regulars were there and sat with us at the bar. They were very welcoming of Jack and Ali.

To show you the depth of conversations I seem to have at the brewery, someone asked Jack if he likes doing laundry as much as his dad does. Does he have an assortment of detergents? Does he fold each article of clothing as it is removed from the dryer?

Someone else asked if he has a money belt and a pill container on his keychain to store emergency $20 bills... like his dad.

Everyone thought it was pretty funny.

While they were on the subject, one of the women whipped out her phone and opened the images folder. "Bob! I've been meaning to show you this book I saw recently."

Sheila and I ran some errands. Along the way, we stopped at Minnesota's Largest Candy Store, which cornered the market for yellow paint in the Upper Midwest.

Many customers say, "Oh I remember this candy from when I was a kid." I had plenty of memories unearthed (Zagnut bar, Seven Up bar), except a candy bar is now $2.59 instead of $0.25. I think candy cigarettes were only a dime when I was in elementary school. They didn't turn out for me to be a gateway to smoking real cigarettes.

Then there are candies I've never heard of.

All sorts of homemade or bulk packaged candy. Horehound Drops must not be a big seller; their price was marked way down.

The store also has a lot of spices, jars of pickled vegetables, muffin mixes, beef jerky. and baked pies. A silly name must help sales.

And every flavor of soda you can imagine. In the left picture you can see the edge of a gumball machine so large it can hold more clowns that a VW Beetle.

Fun place to visit. Do go there with a sweet tooth.

Earlier, since I was awake at 6:00 AM and the sun was already up, I took the dogs to the dog park because they won't be outside much after that. They walked slowly. Even the younger Sulley didn't run after any critters or other dogs.

I like that the MAC, the people who run the airport, took old runway marker lights and put them around some benches they installed. It's a nice touch.

Male dogs, however, see them as little blue and yellow fire hydrants. The left picture shows Oliver doing exactly that. The right picture shows what happens after gallons and gallons of dog urine cause the metal poles to rust through and break. There's a pole for a chain-link fence post deeper in the park that seems to be suffering the same fate, though it hasn't fallen... yet.

Later in the morning, I returned some library books. The branch wasn't open yet and no one was around, so I drove in the wrong way and parked near the book drop like I was in a $200,000 Porsche.

No sooner had I gotten out of my $15,000 truck than three older people in different cars pulled in and glared at me for parking like an asshole. It didn't occur to me at the time, but maybe I should have walked over to their cars and offered to deposit their books for them.

Then I went to Sam's Club. The line for the gas pumps was 15 vehicles deep. Sam's price: $3.39/gallon. The BP gas station by my house is at $3.49/gallon. I'll pay the premium to not wait in line, thankyouverymuch.

I wonder if Sam's Club management analyzes whether items stocked near the cell phone kiosk sell poorly because of the phone employees (who are clearly working on commission). Those guys are fucking obnoxious, and they don't like to hear "no, thanks."

Sheila is not a morning person.

I am.

Sometimes, I get up when she does. This may be rather odd behavior for someone who is retired, but I am done sleeping. Besides, I can always nap later. Naps are great. Our dogs agree.

This morning is one where I got up when she did. We don't have lengthy and bright conversations on work mornings. She has to get ready for work; I read the news. Someone doesn't necessarily think this is fair.

Before I came downstairs, I heard the familiar sound of the Cuisinart one-cup coffee maker grinding beans, then filling her insulated tumbler. It makes a terrific cup of coffee. I stay out of the way, waiting until she is out of the house before making some for myself.

On the kitchen counter sits my shopping list for today. A perk of retirement is going to grocery and big box stores whenever it suits me. Late mornings are nice, when places are not as busy. I can stop for lunch somewhere on my way home. Then I have a full tummy when I take my nap.

Flavored creamer on line three of my list. I don't use the stuff; Sheila requires it. Sadly, the container in the fridge only had a little bit left.

As she left for work she handed me the tumbler of hot, black coffee so I could drink it.

Bob! You said there was some flavored creamer left.

Yes, just not enough.

Several times I got a flat tire, though luckily never in the winter. I always carried a spare tube and a small air pump. Not that I was Tour de France support crew material, but it only took me a few minutes to change one on the side of the road.

Today, I got a flat. I was almost home from a ride through a nearby park reserve. Even though I had a spare tube with me, I walked the short distance home so I could change it in my garage.

I drink low-sodium V8 juice. Cases of cans were so cheap that I bought two. I also picked up a case of Olipop in assorted flavors. The juice and pop were a lot cheaper than in my local grocery stores—and they were delivered to my front door in just a few hours.

Below is some laundry detergent I love that was discounted, so I bought another bottle. It's stupid expensive for laundry soap, but the scent is amazing. I use it mainly for bedding.

I recently washed a clear shower curtain liner with this detergent and some bleach. The bleach smell didn't linger but holy cow, the entire bathroom now smells like "warm sandalwood, night-blooming jasmine, and soothing lavender." I didn't realize PVC vinyl could retain a good scent so well.

Sheila and I went to Walmart. We chose one in a neighboring city because the one in our city is ghastly.

Also, the next city is in a different county. The combined state/county/city sales tax in that city is 0.65% less than in our city, and you know how I like to save money!

We picked up a prescription and paid for it at the pharmacy. Sheila didn't want to lose track of it, so she firmly told me nicely asked me to carry it while she pushed the cart and selected groceries.

But I know that wasn't because she trusted my small bag carrying skills. She does not have the patience for my price-comparing and cents-per-ounce calculations. Clearly, saving money has a different priority for her.

At the self-checkout line, I tried to help (seriously), but she said, "No, I have it. Just hold on to that pharmacy bag."

An employee saw me standing there reading my phone, while my wife scanned and bagged everything. That woman gave me a look, like I was being a creep of a husband.

I was just following instructions!

Not even my row but I hated this guy.

While sitting in an airport bar, we saw a professional men's wiffle ball game on ESPN8 The Ocho. I say this is evidence that our culture has reached peak television streaming.

We saw this young male deer each day in our hosts' back yard.

The Arizona Cardinals team plane was parked near the dog park. The team loaned its Boeing 777 to transport athletes and coaches to the 2026 Special Olympics USA Games being held in the Twin Cities this month.

Here's the same plane, pictured with a landing Delta Airbus A220 and a parked United Boeing 737.

And the Cardinals plane again, this time with a landing Cessna Citation CJ3 charter and the UPS MD-11 that has been parked at MSP since November of last year.

Our friends had built a new, high-tech house. For example, window blinds automatically open at sunrise and close at sunset. We had a wonderful stay there.

The four of us attended a cooking class at a kitchen supply store. We made BBQ chicken with a tasty, tangy peach glaze, roasted vegetables, and a crème brûlée dessert featuring more peaches.

A rep from a liquor company was also there, mixing cocktails for us. One drink used a peach whiskey with a peach and ginger candy garnish.

The people in Georgia like their peaches. So did I.

This lemon juicer (left) was really cool. I wanted to get one but realized I would likely squeeze two lemons and never use it again. On the right is the peach cocktail. It was delicious, but almost too sweet for my taste. We got to keep the glasses.

The husband is a pilot and has his own plane. We didn't get a chance to go up in the air, but I was able to try out a flight simulator at the FBO. The controls are identical to his plane; they are simultaneously very simple and very complex. The digital checklist was really cool.

Sheila and I always like to try brewery taprooms when we travel. This one was near our host's home. As we enjoyed beer and shared dirty fries, I noticed a beautiful Husky resting under a bar stool. When Sheila saw the dog, she promptly went over and introduced herself.

When we travel, we sometimes hire a young woman we know to stay at our house and watch the dogs. She takes great care of Ella, Oliver, and Sulley, and she always leaves us a nice note, which I find endearing.

While we were across the country, our Ring doorbell camera alerted me to activity. I looked at the app and saw a neighbor and our dog sitter in the front yard, with little Sulley in the background, racing down the middle of the street, avoiding capture.

They managed to get Sulley back into the yard. The neighbor's beautiful Collie, Moses, went through our backyard gate, and Sulley followed him right in. We owe Mo some treats.

It seems like maybe Sulley missed Sheila and me and thought about running to Atlanta, if he only knew which direction to go. He dug two large holes under our fence. We came home to some makeshift repairs that kept Sulley from escaping again.

Today at the gastroenterologist, I nearly experienced a medical version of the Transcontinental Railroads meeting at Promontory Summit, Utah in 1869.

This time, in 2026 St. Paul, MN, the doctor checked both east and west (or my top and bottom, depending on your perspective). I wondered how close the cameras could have been to meeting each other midway.

My primary care physician wanted my esophagus inspected because I've been using prescription Prilosec for a few years. Then, of course, I had my regularly (10-year plan, yay!) scheduled colonoscopy.

Doing both procedures in the same appointment under the same anesthesia saves time, eliminates an extra appointment, and reduces insurance charges and deductibles. Saving money is my love language.

The nurses were so nice. I told one I dislike needles. She was very careful inserting the IV catheter, and I hardly felt it go to into my hand.

I still said "ouch!"

After that I don't remember much. Like the last time I had anesthesia, I was told I'd be mildly sedated and somewhat conscious during a procedure.

"Okay, Bob, you're going to start to feel sleepy and..."

I was out before she finished her sentence. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, just the way I prefer it. Had I remained awake I would have angrily snapped my fingers and demanded more sedation.

Some time later I woke up in a different room, quite groggy, feeling great. The doctor explained my results, which were excellent, to Sheila.