I N D I V I S I B L E

        "Please. You think I got this rugged and good-looking by reading books?"

Finnick smiles cheekily, flexing an arm for good measure. Sure, his education had been fairly decent, but he wouldn't necessarily call himself a brainiac.

Of course Annie was patient; she seemed to have spent most of her life waiting for things to get better. When her sister was born, she waited for them to feel more like a family again but then her Mother died. She waited for years for someone to speak to her at school, but nobody did and just as things started to look up again, her name was called at the reaping.  And now she waited patiently for Finnick to return when he had to leave for the Capitol. Oh yes, Annie Cresta was patient.

Her green eyes are wide as they remain fixed upon him while he moves. She tries to take in every little detail about him but there will always be something that she misses. Though she never misses his words, she hears them loud and clear. It is just her mind that makes it challenging to believe everything he tells her. She doesn’t feel worthy of him and no matter how many times he tells her that she is, she still struggles to take the information on board.

“I know. I understand that. I see myself in you, but you are able to hide your pain. I’m still learning to do that.” She smiled shyly, giving his hands a gentle squeeze to show him that he was slowly getting through to her, and no matter what, she loved him.

        "It's not weakness, you know."

Finnick's response seems to fall from his lips without so much as a single thought, thumbs brushing over her small fingers. Annie is such a precious, beautiful thing-- But she is not as fragile as everyone (and even her own self) thinks her to be.

        "--Hiding things, I mean. There's nothing strong about it at all."

Oh, if only she could see the strength she must possess to have come so far. Only then would she see that she need not worry about hiding anything. Not here. Not in front of him.

        "Nobody can bottle things up forever. Your honesty is one of the things I love most about you, Annie Cresta. Don't you ever feel like you have to hide anything for my sake, okay?"

With these words comes the weight of his own guilt crashing down upon him, for he is nothing like Annie. He wishes he could be more like her, but too much rests upon his shoulders to allow it. Finnick is a man who gets by on nothing but secrets, and it must remain that way if she is to remain safe.

Is he selfish to do this? Hypocritical, even? Yes, but it is the only good thing he can do in a world that makes him feel so utterly helpless and rotten -- in a world where he must relive his own evil deeds and send off a new batch of children to their deaths year by painstaking year.

All he wants is for Annie to have the things that he can never have: To stay out of the Capitol's spotlight as much as is reasonably possible. To live safe and worry-free, surrounded by people who will care for and support her no matter what. To be free of things that will remind her of those dreadful Games. He shielded her as best he could during her time in the Arena, and he will continue to protect her for as long as need be if it will give her the life that she deserves.

--God, does he ever love this woman. It shows in the concern in his features, in the way he bends in order for his lips to gently meet her knuckles. His fingers hold her tightly, as though she might slip from his grasp at any second, and the only thought on his mind is this:

"Glad to see that even you can find some humor in this, Mister Crane."

Yes, humor would definitely be the right word-- Because that's all this is: a big, stupid joke.

Finnick wants to make that abundantly clear - to ensure that their little misunderstanding won't go any farther than this. He's got too much at stake to let a foolish, absentminded remark become his undoing.

        "Ssh, Annie. It's not stupid at all."

It's only then that his features soften and he loses the grave tone completely, shoulders falling in relief. Never does Finnick want her own feelings to be pushed aside and invalidated. He doesn't want to be like the others who disregard everything Annie has to say because they think the mutterings of a mad girl can't possibly mean anything, but this is something he must do alone. If anything, her words are everything to him, and without them, Finnick would be completely and utterly lost.

It is she who keeps him grounded when he is gone, she who he thinks constantly about when he must entertain his clients back in the Capitol. She is all he needs, and she is who he will think of last when he leaves this world for good.

--His sweet, beautiful, gentle Annie.

Even now, the mere thought of her prompts a smile from the Victor, fingers absentmindedly finding themselves brushing between long strands of hair. It doesn't matter how far he must go; so long as he keeps his darling in mind, he feels at home.

        "Probably, who knows? Just... Give me a moment; I'll be fine."

With all the festivities surrounding the Games, he's eaten far more than he can keep track of. Perhaps the excess was more than he could handle this time around, or perhaps it was all just too much.

With a deep exhale, Finnick forces a smile and straightens himself out.

This cannot beat him-- Not now. So long as there are still people depending on him, he shall continue to ooze with charm and plaster on his best smile.

okay so when i started this blog i thought i’d get maybe ten followers. about a month on there are eighty nine of you, which i am so so grateful for. this is just a list of people i have really felt a connection with, so if you aren’t already, you should follow them. some of them i haven’t written with but we’ve spoken and they’re lovely. if i’ve missed you off this list at all it isn’t because i don’t like you, just that we haven’t interacted enough for me to get a real idea of you!

As he lets go of her hands, she is sure that she can feel her heart sink. Did she really say something so horrible for him to react in such a way? The more that happens between them, the more confused Annie becomes about how to act around him. She panics, though her panic doesn’t last long. She doesn’t understand why he loves her, but she doesn’t want him to leave. She would rather live in a constant misunderstanding than to live without him in her life.

Finnick keeps her sane.

“But it is true…” Annie defends, she is sure of it. Why else would people treat her like they do? She isn’t worthy of love, especially not his love. She knows that much. “Why would the world owe me anything? I am nothing, Finnick. Nothing at all.” She is just a girl, a girl who got lucky and could swim to save her life; if she had known the pain that followed she would have just let herself drown.

She appreciates his words, but she knows that no matter what he says, she will continue to doubt because that is part of her. She will doubt him even if he begs her not to, but she will learn and she will come to feel more secure. Annie just needs time.

"--Then you are far more patient than I am." Sure, it may be petty and childish, but he's so tired of living like this. Having to tread lightly all the time is starting to take its toll on the Victor - particularly since he saw no end in sight to their suffering. There were others out there who had to live like this for entire lifetimes. Take Mags, for example: How lonely had she been before he and Annie were on the scene? How could she possibly face each day for all of her many years?

"Just-- Just listen to me, Annie." He shifts, kneeling down before his beloved with one of her hands firmly clenched between his. "You are worth so much more than you could possibly ever understand. When I look at you, I see far more than what everybody else sees. Nobody knows you like I do, Annie. They only know what they've witnessed in the arena, and I should know better than anyone that the people we see in the Games aren't anything like the people that came before and after them." 

Finnick breathes a gentle sigh, wishing there was something he could do or say to make her believe him. "You and I-- We're not that different at all, Annie. Just as you rely on me, I rely on you. I don't know how I would have ever coped without you and Mags by my side."