TRIAL-LESS

So I have a pretty reliable spell for collecting the debts I’m owed from a squirrely sumbitch of a businessman who’s tried everything in the book to get out of paying me. It relies on a bound object, which I lost in the madness of the move, and as soon as I lost it, he stopped repaying me as agreed. And right now, I am scraping by on these repayments as I continue to look for a normal job.

So I needed to recast. Except I don’t have any of my materials.

So I improvised.

No thread? Use superglue.

No equivalent currency? Use an old debit card in that currency.

No cauldron? Use a metal measuring cup.

No taglock? Write their name, burn the paper, then pour the ashes onto a new name paper and do this twice more.

No herbs? Welp, I got these here cheap “dragon’s blood” incense, which probably aren’t really, but I’m calling down the energy as hard as I can.

No ritual knife? Sharpen a stick from a tree associated with the will.

Point on the stick breaks? (mind did – this work had a lot of struggles and resistance from the target) FINE, I’LL TAKE MY FUCKING POCKET KNIFE TO YER ASS. STOP SQUIRMING.

And hey, guess what?

It worked.

So I just got an anon who was foaming at the mouth about my deck. I’m not going to post it, as I don’t post hateful screamy stuff from people on my blog. Especially if they don’t even have the cajones to show their face.

However, they did sort of spark something in my head that I love talking about. I’ve mentioned it a bit, but perhaps this is a good moment to get into it in earnest.

Basically, they said my deck is taking advantage of people because I am clearly not the most gifted artist in the world.

You’re right, I’m not. Never pretended to be. In fact, that’s sort of the point.

I’m not the greatest artist. But I saw a hole in the tarot world. I saw it because I started this project by making a flashcard deck for myself, because I kept getting discouraged by how hard it was to get involved with a reading as a beginner. And I couldn’t find anything that let me both be involved in the reading, and helped me learn.

So I made something else.

I am not the greatest artist, but I am apparently the only person who saw this hole and then made the effort to fill it.

But you know what else?

The fact that I’m not the greatest artist… is sorta the point.

We do a disservice to our own communitites by making creative participation something that only the elite can do.

We’re all born creative. We stifle children when we tell them that if they’re not the best, they shouldn’t participate at all. There’s a reason my deck has a color theme that is probably going to mostly appeal to the young crowd. It’s not because I don’t think they can spot a non-professional artist. It’s because I want them to see that you don’t have to be a professional to participate.

I see this same sort of hate all the time. Witches who make little spell books, or do free readings, or make charms, or whatever else. There’s always some amount of hate from people who think they “don’t have the right” because they’re not good enough.

Art is for everyone. Everyone can be creative. Our communities are richer when everyone participates. And some of my favorite artists are people that this anon would say “aren’t good enough.” So? They appeal to my soul. In some part, because I can see and feel and relate to their mistakes.

If some newbie looks at my deck and thinks, “Dude, I could totally have drawn this myself. Hell, I could do better. I’m gonna do my own deck,” FANTASTIC. GO DO THAT. AND SEND ME PICS.

My deck is selling under copyleft. Basically, do whatever you want to it – just give me a shoutout, pls and thx. I WANT people to create whatever they want or need with it. I want people to create, period.

If I was rich enough to just take the hit on printing and give it the fuck away, I would, because I don’t believe in money, dude. It’s just that my rent disagrees.

I don’t believe in exclusivity. I don’t believe only the elite can create. I am both fully aware of the objective level of my artistry, and completely unconvinced that art is only for people with degrees.

But to be honest, I could never say this better than Ms. Amanda Palmer. So, let me tell you what she has to say on the matter…

“Stop pretending art is hard.”

By the way: Amanda Palmer, with her terrible vocals and mediocre instrumental ability, is one of the only artists who can hit me deep enough to make me cry.

So go get a fucking ukelele or a pen or whatever you want, and make something, witches.

Oh, and also?

I’m really proud of this. And I don’t care if you think I’m not good enough. Have you made a full 78-card deck?

I have. And I didn’t need your permission to make it. I don’t need your permission to be happy with it either.

And you don’t need mine.

Maybe if you embraced your right to create, you wouldn’t feel so upset when you see other people doing it.

Idk, I’m just not finding the correspondence lists helpful any more. A few key words isn’t cutting it for me. They were really useful at one point, and it was enough. Now it isn’t. I’d rather have a page or two for each herb/plant I have in, with bits of folklore, maybe samples, illustrations etc. I think that’d be more useful to me now. 

I dunno it’s just such a mess I don’t know where to begin even fixing it.