go habs go @trebeksfault - Tumblr Blog

post ankle surgery like

#omg it's been so long.......#anyway! stitches came OUT and we did the same splint wrap thing as before instead of a cast which is GREAT #and things have been going well pain sure ofc but what do we expect #i've been so bad abt showering and shit which like. ugh i should try later today but #i missed a SINGLE day of birth control AND i made it up the next day with two pills which is like. how you're supposed to do it #and holy shit my OVARIES i'm gonna DIEEEEE #like i'm not bleeding or anything but my ovaries are so mad and i can feel Exactly where they are #after i can walk again and stuff i know i'm going to have to get back to figuring out my endo which. ughhhhhhhhh #i dont want tooooo i dont want endo surgery and shit at least not rn #have truly put my friends through TOO MUCH #but anyway. my hair is gross but whatever!#my leg in the cast is SOOO itchy omfg #i get it off next week and i am sooooooooooo excited like. so excited #walking! around!!!#meanwhile go habs go holy fuck this run is AWESOME #they've truly made this surgery recovery so much better like. at least i have my habs!!!#mostly i came here to complain about my horrible endo body but #it's just deeply unpleasant and like. i can handle pain okay i've GOT it but #the leg AND the uterine system AND the pelvic pain AND my usual other general pain like rib shoulder etc etc #okay enough of that i have a book to read !#eds posting #mol.txt

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trebeksfault

post ankle surgery like

#back for updates !#this has become my post op journal even tho i write my pain and progress in my actual daily journal buf #different places in my brain #anyway first post op appt today and i am EXHAUSTED #i am 29 years old and this doctor calls me champ #he's very. our chronic pain warriors. which is so sweet tbh #anyway. my body is exhaustedddd bc i have to do stairs on my butt #and general healing fatigue #this doctor is great but their office was SO busy today #and i ended up in the hottest room just waiting and sweating more and more and the doc finally came and was like #wait shit are u good???#yes i'm just boiling in your exam room sjdkskdk i was like i am LEAVING #and the resident was like no you should go sjdkskdk sorry everyone i'm overheating at the pain clinic #but oof my body! she is tired! she is being put through so much!#my kobo got here tho sk that's exciting #and i finished a book the other day and i love my friends and the dog and the habs #my right leg is getting honestly. kind of jacked lmaooo i can feel the thigh muscle growing #just so much one leg body weight stuff happening here so!#get my cast on wednesday but there's also some issues of if the cast will be too tight and stuff w my foot #but i'm so ready just to get to see my leg for 20 mins!!! getting stitches out #anyway. shoutout to vicodin my best friends and pillows and blankets #y'all are real ones and maybe i won't die from exhaustion skdksk i love to be dramatic #mol.txt #eds posting

trebeksfault

post ankle surgery like

#post op update AGAIN!!!#had a minor meltdown bc my kobo broke in my sleep apparently but. ordered a new one with insurance #just feeling like an idiot #also. stupid pain making me extra emo and then pain gets worst from being emo rinse and repeat #it was my bday gift and yes i am just ordering a second one and tbh. fine with it bc my mom is being SO i'm so guilty abt my surgery so #easier to just. deal with the meltdown myself and do the reorder which is what i would get told to do anyway #just. ugh annoying that when your nervous system is getting beaten down by post op pain it's like. oh no! my nervous system is overwhelmed!#didn't cry ONCE after surgery except maybe when i was defending my stomach against slander #but that doesn't count bc i was out of it #and now to cry bc i woke up and my kobo was broken. whicb. wtf!!!!!#igh anyway. it's being dealt with. it's being taken care of.#the pain is like. it's FINE but the incision is rough and like #no pain bc i'm in a cast LMAO like heah it feels awesome to not move it or put weight on it #but i get like. it feels like electrocution. down the incision #and THAT is not fun omfg #also got tomodachi life just for. something fo pass the time #bc the boredom is BAD #crps definitely still a factor bc uh why is half my foot numb. but whatever i see the pain team monday #really everything is going p well! a few blunders but!#my friends are the best ppl in the world i Swear ugh #i should go check on the dog and heat up a breakfast burrito #ugh! ugh. habs game tonight BARUCH HASHEM #need to see them....#need to take some pain pills too bc sometimes i'm bad at identifying pain until it's like #oh ur having a meltdown. that's bc pain #or i’m just the grumpiest bitch in town and it's like. girl the pain #whatever. whatever we move! on bouge!#okay gonna get dressed get up get fed get the dog try to feel less horrible about myself and everything #really i'm FINE i'm just. uvh #mol.txt

trebeksfault

post ankle surgery like

#came home wednesday and was like uh yeah def sleeping on the couch #my amazing friends and roommates who i love So much you are the best ppl i know u are my family etc set it all up #but i woke up today (sat) at 7 am like oh my god i cannot sleep on the couch anymore i need BED #which is easier to get to than last year bc no stairs but there's an annoying double door situation #idk men shouldnt design buildings but here we are #so i'm still trying to figure out the best way to like. go from walker i'm using as knee scooter to crutches to bed #ANYWAY got my necessities in the basket of my walker and then laid down and like. oh my god my BED #and now i'm back in bed post eating a bunch of rice and veggies like will this fix me no but it won't hurt!#anyway pain is gradually going away. voice is slowly coming back. very slowly #still coughing but that's so expected and wheezing a bit #not having opioid constipation we LOVE it #my birthday is tomorrow! weird!!! lmao!#anyway needed to have chill in room time for a bit and i am so excited to get to have sort of a regular night routine wow!#also that i can get to my living room and kitchen from my room and not get stranded ugh #ANYWAY ugh we are. making it work trucking along lol #time to read a book and maybe nap even tho i've slept so much today but like. i didn't sleep #for the hospital stay much like sure SOME but got woken up a bunch u know. and then couch sleeping plus pain isn't the best but #we make it WORK!!!#ugh anyway. coming here to complain and casually document lmao!#mol.txt #eds posting

post ankle surgery like

#minor scary moment lol #apparently my body decided to activate gastroparesis at the WORST possible time (night before surgery)#so i have all these doctors like sooo you ate too late. you threw up like a distinct meal #bc i sometimes have gastroparesis. but i sometimes dont. like the time i got tested for it #like i threw up AGAIN the next night bc i was coughing so much and like. yeah that was my entire dinner from 24 hours earlier. classic #like banh mi and cookie ice cream sandwich right there huh #and i aspirated which happens to me sometimes when i sleep as real mol heads know #but then i wake up! but couldn't bc anesthesia! so i had my oxygen go down and i've had to cough up stomach acid which ugh #and like got all these antibiotics and shit for asp pneumonia and shit and all this respiratory stuff #so my night in the hospital turned into the icu. which was fine tbh! i was so like. guys i'm fine this happens so much #and THEN the continuous nerve block which was the whole reason i was doing a night in the hospital fell OUT #and i was like uh should we put it back? and no one seemed to think it was important lol #so the pain was KILLER last night but we are doing better today!#i'm so sticky and sore and bruised from all these ivs and shit #but overall doing fine!!! wheezy and sore throat from general anesthesia #just chilling 24/7 #habs playoffs start on my birthdayyy so lfg #mol.txt #eds posting

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trebeksfault

i'm the one (who's gonna get in your head)

let’s pretend this is such a good party because you can leave over my damn body (suzufield getting together fic set during the 25-26 season)

trebeksfault

btw chapter 3 is out now

#hrpf #hockey fic #montreal canadiens #cole caufield #nick suzuki #1314 #suzufield #habs fic

how it feels waiting for ankle surgery

#i have shit i need to DO my room is not prepped at all #just ordered some summer stuff i'll be able to wear bc i forgot getting shorts on and off is a whole Issue #so like. need anything stretchy that can fit over a boot or a cast or whatever #but anyway time for the real complaining #i've had this tooth thing going on for AWHILE and every once in awhile it gets rly bad #so it was bad a few weeks ago and i was like okay fine i'll make an appt #but it's FINE now which i know i know just deal with it whatever #but even with my max strength pain meds i'm still waking up at 5-6 am bc of pain #like i will even put off taking my muscle relaxers to try and make myself sleep more but it won't work #like i can only sleep for a few hours at a time and i'm going NUTS !!!#so like. supposed to go to the dentist today. that's not happening #i cannot handle doing dental work stuff TOO rn #there is only so much pain my body can deal with in a day u know #and right now it's just like. foot agony so #so cancelled THAT and like. praying it stays okay #meanwhile i feel just. like the grossest schlubbiest bitch in town and i KNOW it's because i've spent like two years unable to do shit #bc my STUPID ANKLE but ugh. ugh!!!#tired of being in pain . yes i habe chronic pain but it's like #this is. different. and it's been SO long and i just want it done and fixed and also for my room to magically be organized and ready #it just feels BAD for so many reasons and i just am very tired and ugh. over it!!!#whatever. habs win thank god giving me life #okay now i need to call the ortho office and then i can take a pain pill and lay down and pretend my hair is clean #mol.txt #eds posting

croszukis

watching that OT sequence again and like why exactly wasnt nick used at 3v3 in the olympics ??? @trebeksfault did the math and compared to the main guys that were used he's played SIGNIFICANTLY more OT games than them bc the habs go to OT a lot and we know the habs are killer in ot......

#i DID do the math! and it's insane #nick has been in (at the time of the break) 135 games that went to ot #now up to 138 lol go habs go #all regular season games in this btw bc i was going off 3v3 ot #this is going back to 19-20 season aka nicks first nhl season #in that time nate mackinnon and connor mcdavids teams have only played in 100 games that involved 3v3 ot #now ms trebeksfault why phrase it like that EXCELLENT QUESTION #nick has an ironman streak nick has never missed a game since his first in october 2019 #not the case for nathan and connor ! now i did not cross reference what games they missed and what games had ot #because i'm simply not going to do that xoxo #but even if they both played in ALL of their ot games. nick still has 35 more games of experience #so like. just Saying. by the numbers. nick has the data to back up being an ot specialist #he's played a lot more 3v3 ot. also marty and his small area games #ridiculous to have the gmg use 3v3 ot in the first place like what's more of a playoff game than a gmg #BUT that was the rule! and that is what they should've looked for! someone who is good in this scenario!#aka nick suzuki #but hey at least he contributed to creating a new curse in sports history that's beautiful!

ankle hurts so i think yes let's nap that always helps with pain and then i go to take the nap and my ankle hurts too much to fall asleep . 35 days until i am sort of free (ankle fixed but trapped in a cast w/o weight bearing for 6 weeks)

#a nice nap does wonders for inflammation! the pain fatigue needs a break!#but noooooooo too much pain to fall asleep #i haven't even really been up and walking today??? like all this just from a quick doctors visit yesterday?#yesterday my standing was like. idk 15 mins total making breakfast and unloading dishwasher #let's say 20 minutes of standing/walking in and out of the doctor #which is GENEROUS !#and then like? a bit of walking around at home? nothing crazy?#and YET!!!!! i feel like i might die!!!!#habs game tonight fucking save me please habs game #but anyway let's say Max 45 mins of standing/walking time yesterday #and then today i like? tossed my laundry in? and rly that's it #so an hour of standing time between two days. come on ankle #i Know it's torn to shreds in there. i KNOW!#but i'm like come ONNNNN #next week going to the pain mgmt doctor to discuss pre and post op stuff #which thank GOD ! but #i'm praying this isn't crps spreading bc i do not need that. it doesn't Feel like that thi #it just feels like. yeah your ankle is cooked.#and i do not want to deal with the boot + it makes the foot crps worse anyway so #catch 22 was actually about this #mol.txt #eds posting

waiting for my doc appointment bored as HELL

#preop day yayyy #inevitably will come home with a binder of information and several errands to run #like guys i've done this before! with you! i know what to expect #just give me the paperwork for the disability parking tag so i can go to the dmv and get sick as fuck parking for six months #i'm just very tired still recovering from daylight savings which fucks me up SO bad without fail every time #my internal clock is sooo sensitive #anyway i want a nap more than anything espec bc i tried to sleep more this morning but my ankle was like. extreme pain?#so made breakfast hung out w the dog etc listened to my audiobook played balatro the usual #but now i still have awhile before i have to leave and i'm just like UGHHHHHH my foot HURTS my ankle HURTS let me nap #dr pepper save me. save me dr pepper #really the ankle pain is just on a level that i am So done with. like yes i get it i tore up everything in there connecting things #but i'm. it's wearing on me #just the fatigue and the brain fog of pain and then the meds make me stupid and itchy #i could live with just itchy. but i do Not enjoy being stupid for 2 days just bc i took a little tramadol #this does not happen w other opiates but i have to wait a week to see the pain doc for preop #so i can discuss then like hi this helps but itchy #at least my nails are done so they can attempt a grow out again now that it's not so dry #ugh okay i'll go talk to the dog more and then get ready #looking so forward to the nap i'll be taking....#mol.txt #eds posting

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croszukis

made a zine to think about what arrival fits would look like for the paniolo & how they could incorporate local fashion into their personal style. and also just what the local boys closets would be filled with.

#the cole fashion page being all things i would wear #he's not beating the midwestern dyke allegations #this is soooooo cool tk!!!#fanart

my ankle surgery date getting closer and closer

#did my start of month errands today #got told to stop spending money by my mother and then she's like CANT WE VISIT YOU!#girl no?? i'll be post surgery can't leave the house for six weeks. except to get the cast on #like. my friends do not think you not visiting me is neglectful they think all the shit u did to me as a child was neglectful Bc It Was lmak #like i call home p much every day i check in etc #also like.....she can't do stairs well and it's a 22 step walk up to my place so!#shes likr convinced i'm going to have these reactions to her not being here and i'm like. no i will be fine!#i'm not like that! i'm just in a lot of pain! please leave me alone!!!#i just want to watch my habs and read my books and live my stupid chronic illness life and get my ankle fixed AGAIN #it's six weeks of no weight bearing. it is boring and tiring and i dont need a crazy person fucking w my routines!#boomers vs dealing with their own emotions #final boss fr!!#whatever ! catholic guilt and jewish guilt are unionizing so i'm gonna complain here #i just have to say. i feel very vindicated from the terrible pt i had after i reinjured the ankle #who was like. maybe u need new shoes and to talk to someone abt ur feelings. and i'm like uh no #my ankle tendons and ligaments are ripped to shreds #i'll stop crying when they are connected again!#she was very convinced i was just being a baby and like no! actually! i tore through everything so! ha!#like no no this was not just a sprain and getting lightheaded from pain trying to do an exercise bike was bc MY ANKLE IS BARELY ATTACHED #she was like well did u eat today. yes????? it's called PAIN #i'm just being grumpy bc i can't do anything i actually want to do bc my stupid fucking foot #and running errands will have me so swollen tomorrow but #whatever let me just drink my chai and calm down #mol.txt #eds posting #tho hard to tell from this post i am so excited for the surgery #like please fix this!!! i tore everything again this past summer! i've been living in pain like this for months #i just want legs that Work Mostly #i know i can't ask for perfection bc the ehlers danlos but!#eds was in the novel i'm currently reading and it did feel good to be like SEE ITS SEVERE lmao

croszukis

getting ready for the year of the horse 🐎

#stallion!#josh anderson

#up late bc my ANKLE HURTS #last post mentioned going to the ortho for my ankle check 1 yr out from surgery. and yeah i did tear through Everything in my ankle lol #like everything that got fixed? ripped right through it lol #god it hurts so bad! anyway getting surgery in april to put in cadaver connective tissue and rebuild the ankle #and i’m SO exhausted and i can't do anything and ughhhghhghgbf #i want to just like. write my fanfic or whatever. but i'm so fucking fatigued all the time and on pain meds constantly and #like.....god i do not really want to do the 6 weeks in a cast again but. everything is so miserable with the ankle! fuck!#so here we are and i'm complaining here and now just bc it keeps being like. i can't even get comfy !!!#like. i feel like i am Trudging u know #god i do feel vindicated tho bc the shitty physio i had who was like. get new shoes. do you have anyone to talk to about this. try harder #like yeah i felt like i was gonna pass out doing an exercise bike type thing. bc I NEED A CADAVER GRAFT!!!#i'm there like listen the surgery went so well pt was going so well i started having weird nerve stuff but in my foot not my ankle and then #i Fell so. u know. reinjured.#and she was so like well you seem upset. yeah i'm upset bc i fell and fucked my ankle again #like she was very Weird abt where i was parking? like girl i'll pay six dollars to not have to walk as much. bc it feels so horrible #and just did shit that made me feel very. oh u don't see me as a person rly huh lol #like i told her the pain doing a bike thing was so bad i felt lightheaded and she was like. did u eat today.#yes okay i actually know my body Really really well. from the years and years of pt i've done #and living in a body with systemic joint issues it's like. no i know pain i know what shit feels like #like i knew i broke the foot instantly. and honestly was RELIEVED like yay just a broken foot probably #idk it's very. sometimes medical ppl do not seem to understand that when you go frkm thinking everyone is physically like you #to realizing no my body is Different and Wrong and things don't work right #and having to Explain that to all these diff doctors. and having to adapt and learn what's happening to you #yeah i've got Really good body awareness now! i can identify exactly where it hurts #but it's so. patronizing like well you might not realize.#no trust me i realize! i can feel it! i knew when i fell that it was Bad. i knew something very wrong had happened #i just had to wait it out bc of how surgery calendars work and the 1yr mark being where you can talk revisions #ugh whatever! whatever i'm just tired #mol.txt #eds posting

trebeksfault

currently,

#guys you won't believe it but my body is a mess STILL #past two days i've been so nauseous and having bad intestines and whatnot. just annoying gi stuff #and today i get woken up by a phone call from my mother which was some nonsense #smth abt my brother isn't happy w his job or whatever and then she called me by accident #and i didn't fall asleep until like 2 so i've got 3 hrs of sleep rn but i couldn't go Back to sleep #partially bc i was worried even tho it seems like everything is fine and also not my problem or my business tbqh #but also my TUMMY my intestines it's like great okay 5 am shit ur brains out sorry for saying it but #so now it's been almost 2 hours and i called back to be like are we good and again seems FINE overall and just problem whatsoever #and i have to go to the orthopedist later to discuss CADAVER GRAFTS bc my ankle is still HORRIBLE #and i'm like ugh am i going to get blamed for not doing more pt wven tho i TRIED to schedule it but the order was wrong #bc my doctor put the wrong leg in so couldn't schedule and then no one ever got back to me abt a new order #like i've done some exercises at home but it's so painful and doesn't seem to help at all so #and things were FINE until i fell over the summer like my ankle was doing so so good and then a pothole absolutely fucks me #but whatever ugh i'm just tired i need to sleep more i need to not be dealing w my family for a bit #and i would LOVE if the endometriosis pain would stop bc that's what all the tummy stuff feels like #even tho i'm on TWO KINDS OF BIRTH CONTROL but nooo my body has to make more uterine lining tissue #just ugh. ugh!#at least i'm reading a good book rn. and i did my nails last night.#habs game later yay. and the general life giving qualities of my pals and the dog and all that stuff here at home #and ofc i feel like a huge burden to my friends to be like uh maybe another surgery! but #have to remember they actually love me and this isn't my mother and all that jazz #okay well. fussy moment over time to listen to a podcast or whatever until i fall back asleep #sometimes it is just very obvious my parents forget i have feelings and experience emotions and being a human . i am not just human google #but it's not even 7 am the sun is not even up really we can't get into that!#mol.txt #eds posting #lmao that i'm like my tummy hurts. girl so does the rest of you!#my ankle feels like it's being burned at the stake but yeah mhm tummy hurts sjdkskd #sorry sometimes i just have to laugh at myself bc otherwise it's like. what am i doing i'm in pain constantly #okay well i am feeling sleepy so. wish me luck

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trebeksfault

currently,

#AND AGAIN!!!#today was the always fun always wonderful waking up at 4 am choking on stomach acid eds moment #i fell asleep last night unexpectedly lights on etc which is like kinda annoying but also no big deal at all #but then i wake up in some bananas position trying not to aspirate bile #so then i have to stay up long enough to cough it up so i'm not like. letting my lungs fill up with it #and it's so painful to cough up bc hello literal gastric acid in your trachea #and i take anti reflux meds! i just! the valves and the tubes do not like to cooperate #so anyway got myself resettled and whatnot fell back asleep now up 4 hours later #and everything still hurts holy shit like. the neck the shoulder ouch the like? side abs?#plus usual leg issues rib issues etc etc etc #ugh need to go back to sleep but i know the second i get cozy my mom will call me lol #but like. my WAIST hurts. what is happening #i'm so tired.....like sleepy but also SO tired of this body god i just want to have a normal ISH body #instead i feel like a marine mammal stranded on dry land #okay it is later now and i called home so i can check that off the list #going to have podcast plus phone game time and some book time i think #going to make chicken tortilla soup again tonight yum yum #i normally keep my mani on for a week monday to monday but i kinda want to redo it today #if i'm cooking i have one hour ish of standing time #so have to not be on my feet most of the day to allow that #ugh anyway thank GOD for a habs win.......beautiful #small victories etc etc etc #anyway! be glad you did not wake up at 4 am choking on your own stomach acids #this just sucks soooo bad when it happens it doesn't happen much but. truly torture #and like you only wake up bc it's gotten so bad your body is like alert alert aspiration alert #so you wake up as you're breathing in acid and choking and god really just. exhausting #hm i should also change to my fresh flannel sheets....just planning my day here atp #at least it's shabbat tonight and i can look forward to that....probably will watch some mad men with the pals #mol.txt #eds posting

trebeksfault

currently,

#how is it worse today #every joint in my body feels like it is on fire #my elbow hurts and my elbow is like. a pretty good joint for me!#it just feels. bad. ugh. igh!#i've tried sleeping it off which did not work #gonna try sitting in the shower next bc like Maybe !#i should take a daytime muscle relaxer but ugh! ugh #the pain nausea is here which is NOT great!#i'm just very tired of being in pain all the time and i know it's not going anywhere but like. i am DYING #which is dramatic yes i can power through etc etc but god #it's just like. god. i'm not mcloving this #anyway. anyway! at least there's a habs game tonight to distract me #like yeah you guys are taking your naps right now hell yeah me fucking too lmfao #anyway a catalog of what hurts #angular chelitis on my lip Ow neck and shoulders Ow #the thoracic outlet stuff is Ouch my elbow hurts my Hands hurt #my ribs obviously hurt my pelvic pain is annoying my sacrum hurts my legs hurt #my left hip is bone on bone at times my horrible ankle is a disaster #it's so. never ending and i'm tired!!!!!!!!#okay okay whatever let's move on let's be done with this #mol.txt #eds posting

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