sammy

“Hi!”

Jake threw the ball, which hit the nest then came back directly to his face. You gasped and rushed to his side where he had fallen to the floor. “Are you okay?”

He held his head and nodded, “It’s nothing.”

You giggled softly, grabbing his ball that was rolling away then placed it in front of him. “I didn’t mean to distract you. I was wondering since we’re both playing with the ball that maybe you’d want to play together? That way we can use the whole court.”

“You want to play with me?” He asked, his hand falling to his knee.

You nodded with a smile, the same one that first made Jake notice you.

“Kiddo, your mom’s making dinner!” Both you and Jake looked at the man waving you over, making you sigh in disappointment as you turned to the little boy in front of you. You held your hand out for him to take, which he took with a little hesitation. You pulled him up and smiled.

“I have to go. We can play next time. Bye!”

Without saying anything else, you waved at the boy and ran away to who Jake believed was your dad. His eyes widened when the man squinted his eyes, making him smile nervously and wave politely.

Unfortunately, after that interaction with the girl he believed was the love of his life, he never got to play basketball with you. Jake hid himself in his house for the rest of the year, he was scared of girls–he was scared of you. He had never met a girl, other than pre-school, he’s attended an all-boys school, making it obvious he didn’t know how to interact with girls other than his mom and aunts. So when you asked him to play and he embarrassed himself by hitting himself with the ball, he thought you’d make fun of him the next time you saw each other, which is why he decided never to come out of his room until he was eighteen.

Maybe he was being dramatic, but he couldn’t risk it. The worst part is that he didn’t even learn your name, or you his. But he learned that you lived just two blocks away from his house, so sometimes he would discreetly take a walk with his puppy or ride his scooter to search for your house and see if you were there. One time, he saw you selling lemonade just outside on your porch, so he forced his older brother to buy a few cups with his own hard-earned money. His brother found it cute. When he was buying the lemonade, Jake was hiding behind a tree, watching the interaction happily as you received the money from his brother and you handed him the two lemonades. The smile on your face lightened up his world. His heart felt lighter, and he couldn't help but to giggle on the way home in his scooter.

“Her name is Y/n.”

“You asked for her name?!” He raised his voice at his brother, embarrassed. “Hyung, you can’t just do that!”

His brother laughed, enjoying the little cup of lemonade as he watched his little brother’s ears redden.

WHEN JAKE first entered high school, he was excited because it was a mixed school, and even though you were neighbours, he was hoping you’d both attend the same high school. He was fourteen now, it had been three years since you first met, also three years he hid away to not embarrass himself again.

But of course, humiliation was basically Jake’s middle name.

It was during lunch break on the first day, a boy from his old school named Heeseung– who was a year older, had invited him to play basketball with two other boys he didn’t know, and of course he accepted. It was all going well, he had missed a couple shots but redeemed himself by shooting one from a large distance, earning a few cheers from the girls who were watching by the bench. But he didn’t care about them, his main focus was on the girl that was sitting under the tree, laughing with another girl.

“Watch out!”

Sunghoon had thrown the ball right in Jake’s face, and you had seen it all. The boy fell to the floor with a groan, making his new friends rush to him. While they were busy checking up on him, you watched as the ball rolled your way, you stopped your conversation with Lily–your new friend, and stood up, straightened your skirt, and picked up the ball that was just in front of your feet.

“I’ll be right back.”

Lily nodded, watching as you made your way to the silly boy who was trying to stand up. When he looked at you, his jaw dropped. You were even more beautiful up-close, the sun was on your face, making you look like a goddess–he couldn’t believe you were walking up to him.

Without saying a word, you stretched your arms out, the ball touching the boy’s chest. A smile appeared on your face when Jake’s hands shakingly grabbed the ball.

“T-thank you.”

You nodded, about to walk away when he opened his mouth again. “I’m Jake. We’re neighbours–kind of, I live at the end of the street. There’s like ten houses between us.” He rambled, making you giggle.

You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and nodded, “I know. My dad and I play basketball every Sunday morning, you should play with us sometimes, he’s a really good coach.” You suggested.

Jake couldn’t believe the angel in front of him was actually inviting him to play basketball with him, it was surreal. It was a dream.

“S-sure. That would be awesome!” He chuckled.

That same week, on Sunday morning, Jake had met up with you and your father. He was very awkward, played a little badly, but it was fun, because he was playing with you. Your father taught him a few tricks, and he tried using them against you, but you were two steps ahead of him, you found him cute.

You and Jake became very close after that Sunday. You would walk back home together after saying goodbye to your other friends. It was routine to walk home, you protected each other, and your parents–along with Jake’s, trusted you two to take care of each other and get back home safely. Some days, Jay would walk back home with you two, only parting ways after a couple of minutes. Some days you’d eat at Jake’s house and vice versa. Jake’s brother would tease him, but something about Jake is that he admired how you would defend him or do something to make him feel better. You were always there to make him happy, not once did he feel sad when you were there. You were special to him.

BY YOUR second year, you were inseparable. Jake had gotten the same exact schedule as you, and some of the classes he shared with Jay as well. So to say you were together 24/7 was an understatement. Seriously, he’d be following you like a lost puppy. You’d tell him, “You know you can go to your friends too, right? I don’t want you to feel like you need to be with me all the time.” And he’d respond with, “I want to be with you all the time.”

Jake was never one to hide his feelings for you, but you were a little oblivious.

No friend would do the things he did for you. He wouldn’t carry your backpack all the way home if it were Sunghoon. He wouldn’t give you his banana milk because he knew you loved banana milk if it were Heeseung. He wouldn’t cancel on his friend to help you study for physics if it were Jay. He wouldn’t do any of that stuff if it weren’t you.

“Look, it’s Sohn Youngjae.” You whispered.

A third year student who you had a huge crush on. Jake was definitely not jealous. “He looks like a Korean Peter Pevensie, don’t you think?” You turned to Jake, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears.

He scrunched his face, poking the food. “The Narnia guy?” You nodded. “But he’s not blond.”

“Hmm, you’re right. He’s still kind of cute.” You shrugged.

Cute. You thought a boy was “cute”. You only ever called Jake that–and that Riki boy you babysat, how can you call a boy you’ve never talked to “cute”? Was it not a special compliment?

That summer, Jake decided to dye his hair blond. Terrible idea. His original intent was to look similar to Peter Pevensie, your fictional crush since you were a baby. That same character you said you’d pick over any boy. Jake wanted to change that, so he dyed his hair.

When he showed up at your doorstep, your jaw dropped.

“Your hair is blond.” You stated.

He gave you that tight-awkward smile, “Is it bad?”

You shook your head as you ran your fingers through his hair. Jake couldn’t help but to close his eyes, making you giggle. “You look like Layla!” He opened his eyes and frowned.

“What? No, don’t you think I look like the Narnia guy?” You giggled again, shaking your head. “Oh.”

“Did you dye your hair to look like him?” You asked. Jake hesitated, but ended up nodding, ashamed. “Why? I mean, it looks really good, but your natural hair is already pretty.”

He shrugged, “I just thought you’d like me better if I looked like him. He’s your fictional crush, after all. And you always say you’d choose him over anyone.” He rambled.

“Jake,” You covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing, making him roll his eyes. “Dude, he’s a fictional character! He’s not real. And I’m obviously being dramatic when I say I’d choose him over anyone.” You explained with little laughs.

“So…you like me better than him?” He wondered.

You nodded. “I would pick you in a room full of Peter Pevensies.”

You crossed your fingers, making him break into a smile. “You’re so annoying.”

THERE WERE so many ways he wanted to confess to you. He had practiced, wrote so many letters, asked his cousins, his mom, and even Lily–your best friend, for some advice on how to tell a girl he likes her. But of course, Jake was good at everything but going along with a plan. His original plan was to ask you out just before Christmas, but he got nervous, too nervous, and decided maybe to wait for a bit. He wasn’t completely sure if you liked him back, but after having a talk with your best friend and asking his friends what they thought about you, he thought there was a possibility that maybe you did like him back.

“I’m not telling you anything, dude.”

“From Aussie to Aussie, you have to.”

Lily gasped, hitting the boy’s shoulder, making him groan in pain. “That’s not fair! We swore to only use that when it’s necessary.”

Jake rolled his eyes, moving his hands in the air. “This is important, I need to know that I’m not misunderstanding anything. If I tell her I like her and she doesn’t like me back, our friendship is ruined. If she does like me back, then maybe I can be her boyfriend. But I’m overthinking our interactions now. Do you think I’m being delusional and she doesn’t like me at all, yes or no?” He squinted his eyes at the girl.

There was once a time where he got a nintendo switch for his birthday and the first thing he did was run to your house to show you. You had gasped, excited for him. “That’s so cool!”

His smile was bigger than it was when he received the gift, because nothing made him more happy than seeing you smile.

“I know, right?” He giggled, handing it to her. “Here, they got me mario kart. Your favorite.”

You gasped and grabbed the switch, your fingers not knowing how to move. “I-I don’t know how to use this. I usually use controllers.” You nervously admitted.

Jake smiled calmly, “Here, let me show you.” He gently placed his fingers over yours, guiding them. “You have to press this one to move.” He moved your finger with his. “Yeah, like that.”

You were not paying attention to what he was saying, your eyes kept flickering to his as he kept explaining to you how to use the switch. When he finished, he looked at you and smiled, “D-did you get it?” He asked, suddenly stuttering when he realized you were looking at him.

“Not really.” You breathed out a laugh, making him smile, hands still over yours.

“It’s okay. You should come to my house so we can play. That way you can practice.” He suggested, making you smile and nod with excitement.

“You are delusional.”

His jaw dropped.

“But maybe there’s a tiny chance that she might like you back.” Jake pouted, blinking too many times. “Fine! I’m not telling you anything but I will tell you it will be a great idea to confess.”

“Because she likes me back?” His eyes lightened up.

“That’s all I’ll say.” She zipped her mouth and dramatically walked backwards.

Jake stood up and raised his arm, pretending to hit the air dramatically.

After that, he realized he either had everything to lose, or the opportunity to finally make his dream come true. Eleven year old Jake would be disappointed in seventeen year old Jake if he knew how long he was taking in confessing to his crush.

“You smell like Christmas.”

Now what is that compliment? Not even Jake knew, but somehow, you found it cute. “And you smell like expensive cologne.”

You were right, Jake did smell like expensive cologne. His uncle had given it to him as a gift and he poured it all over himself right before he sprinted to your house. He sniffed his own clothes and smiled awkwardly. “My uncle gave me a cologne for Christmas.” He shook his head, opening his jacket to reveal a small wrapped box. “Do you think we could walk for a little bit?”

You nodded, Jake watched as you looked back at your parents who gave you thumbs up. You grabbed your hung coat from the entry and stepped outside, slipping your shoes on. You and Jake walked for a minute, before he stopped in front of you and handed you the box he was waiting for a whole month to give to you.

“This is for you. It’s not much but it reminded me of you. Merry Christmas.” He said your name in a way you never heard.

You smiled shyly, grabbing the box. “Can I open it now?” He nodded, looking nervous.

He didn’t know how you’d react, you always gave him and your friends gifts, so maybe you wouldn’t be that amazed by his small gift. But when a small gasp escaped your lips as you opened the box, revealing a beautiful necklace with a shiny sun on it, Jake realized maybe you were just really grateful. You looked at Jake and immediately hugged him to which he froze on the spot, not reacting fast. You pulled away from the hug, a small shy chuckle coming out of your lips as you looked down at the gift.

“I-I know it’s not much—“

“—it’s perfect. Thank you, Jake.” 

He nodded, a sigh of relief escaping him. At least one of the many few things he wanted to do tonight was done. 

“The reason I-I chose this necklace was because you light up every room you walk into. You being present is enough to make me smile—I guess it’s not that significant for you but I just thought because it reminded me of you, I’d get it.” He rambled through his words, making you smile.

“It’s the best gift someone has ever given me.” You confessed, “Now I feel embarrassed about my gift.”

You looked down, kicking your feet. Jake’s eyes widened in surprise, “you got me something?” He asked.

Again, he knew how much you loved giving gifts, but he always felt so special for being one of those people that were there to receive.

You nodded, handing him the bag with a side smile. He quickly opened it with a smile, a gasp escaping him when he saw the several sour jellies, a bracelet you made, and a Lego box inside it.

The smile on his face couldn’t be explained.

“Y/n, you’re amazing! This gift is everything!”

With no hesitation, he threw himself on you, placing delicate touches with his lips all over your head before lifting your head up, his lips reaching for your cheeks. You froze and looked at him, making him freeze as well.

Jake, what the hell are you doing? He thought, gasping as he realized what he had done.

“I-I’m so sorry.” He mumbled.

You stared at him, your eyes then flickering down to his mouth for a quick second. When he noticed that, he did the same. “I wanted to do this more formally but, c-can I be your boyfriend?” He asked.

That was not part of the plan, at least not how he wanted it to be.

Your lips parted open, a breath of relief escaping them. “That’s so random.”

Jake tilted his head to the side, “I’m not sure how to take that.” His lips moved, an inch close to your lips.

“It’s a yes. You can also kiss me, Jake.”

“Thank God.”

Jake closed the space between your lips, slowly and with no intent of leaving, moving his lips in synchronization with yours. He smiled into the kiss, making you pull away, giggling when you saw Jake’s reddened ears.

“Are you blushing?”

He shook his head. “Maybe. Can’t a boy blush because of his girlfriend?”

Girlfriend. You were Jake’s girlfriend. His girlfriend.

You chuckled, eyes squinted as your smile took over your face.

“Let me put the necklace on you, you silly goose.”

“You did not just call me that!”

“OKAY SAY, cheese!”

Even though Jake was going to the same university as his girlfriend and his friends, he couldn’t help but to leave a little bit sad. High school was the place where your relationship first started, where many of your “firsts” happened, and he was sad to leave it all behind.

“Jakey, get in the picture!”

Your dad waved him over, making him look at his own parents before rushing to your side. Your dad wrapped an arm around Jake’s shoulder, whereas he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him with the biggest smile on his face.

“Cheese!”

Instead of looking at the camera, for most of the pictures, Jake was looking at you.

“Okay, now take one with your friends, sweetie.” Your dad grabbed the camera as he gestured to you to get your friends.

You turned to Jake and shrugged. “We should get Lily and the boys.” He nodded, not wasting a second before he rushed to look for them.

You giggled, turning to your family. A second later, the group approached your dad with the proudest smiles on their faces.

“Mr. L/n, are you proud of me for graduating?” Sunghoon asked, flexing his muscles and showing off his graduated certificate.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m proud of all of you, especially Lily.” He pointed at the Australian girl, who flipped her hair dramatically on Sunghoon’s face, making him roll his eyes. “Okay, now get into a group hug. For the memories!”

You stood in the middle with Jake and Lily by your sides, then Sunghoon stood by Lily’s side and Jay by Jake’s. You all hugged each other tightly, not even bothering looking at the camera as you smiled happily at each other. Click. Your dad snapped the picture, a proud smile on his face. “Okay, funny faces now!”

Everyone stuck their tongues out and made peace signs, but all Jake could do was turn to you and laugh when he saw your face. Click.

“Okay, now the long-distance best friends!”

Lily and you pouted as you pushed the boys off and hugged each other tightly, making them laugh. “I’m going to miss you, Aussie baby girl!” You sobbed.

“And I’m going to miss you, my kawaii baby Pucca!” 

Your dad laughed even harder at the nicknames as he snapped the pictures. 

“Okay, now the boys!”

Sunghoon pushed both of you out of the way and was quick to flex his muscles, making Jake and Jay copy him. Their parents rolled their eyes, and more specifically, you and Lily did the same, only laughter coming out of your mouths.

“And….now the lovely couple!”

You snapped your head to your dad, to which Jake smiled widely as he pulled you into a very respectful hug. Click. You leaned away when he tried kissing your cheek, cheeks warming up as you tried pushing him away. Click. Click. Click.

“Let the boy kiss you!” Your dad teased.

“Stop, dad!” You cringed.

Jake really couldn’t be happier.

❌ MDNI ❌

JAKE WAS knew loving someone would be this easy. Maybe it was just you that was easy to love. You were just there, existing, and Jake wanted to do whatever it took to keep you here with him. It had been almost three years since you first started dating, and he couldn’t be happier.

“Don’t open your eyes yet.”

You were giggling, blindfold still on, as you waited for Jake to guide you to wherever he was taking you. “Hurry up!”

He giggled, placing his hands on your waist, footsteps matching yours as he stepped into his bedroom. Without saying anything, he pulled the blindfold off, “Ta-da! Happy birthday, pretty!”

You opened your eyes and gasped, turning just an inch to see Jake with the biggest smile on his face. The room was filled with a bouquet of your favorite flower, a big stack of books, and the lego you had said you wanted just a few months prior. You gave him the tightest hug, arms wrapped around his shoulders where his rested all the way around your waist.

“Jake, this is so beautiful.” You sobbed into his neck. “Thank you so much.”

He pulled away just enough to see your face and frowned, “Are you crying?”

You shook your head ‘no’, but the tears forming in your eyes said otherwise. Jake chuckled, grabbing your cheeks to plant kisses all over your face. “Don’t cry, beautiful.”

You closed your eyes as he kept leaving kisses, making you sob harder. He let out a small sob too, feeling sad for you, he pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, baby. You’re going to make me cry.” He tried to joke, making you giggle on his chest.

You pulled away, his arms still wrapped around you, your hands moved to his cheeks as you leaned in to give him a long-lasting kiss on his lips. He melted under your touch, making you smile when you pulled away, caressing his face.

“I love you so so much.” You placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth before rushing to the bed to see your gifts.

Jake stood there for a second with a smile on his face, just watching you go through the stack of books. “I went through your bookshelf so I wouldn’t get you a duplicate.” He mentioned.

You held one of the books to your heart and gasped, “Ugh, the effort!”

He rolled his eyes and jumped on the bed right next to you, pulling you into a hug. He started leaving soft kisses on your jaw, neck, collarbone, making you giggle as you put the book down and turned to face him, “I want to tell you something really important.”

He pressed his lips on your shoulder, eyes set on you. “What is it?” He said in between kisses.

“I…I think I’m ready.” You confessed, making him sit up in confusion.

“For?”

“To have sex.” 

His eyes widened, “A-are you sure?” He stuttered. “We don’t have to rush things. I-I don’t want you to feel like you’re being pressured or anything–”

“I know! I’ve just been thinking. There’s no one else I’d want to do this with, I want you to be my first time.” You smiled shyly, fidgeting with the rolled up blanket beneath you.

Jake nodded, licking his lips as a small chuckle escaped him. “I want you to be my first time too. B-but what if you don’t like it? I’m not experienced, or anything.” He said, ashamed. “What if you get the ick?”

You snorted, “You’re weird already, there’s nothing you can do that’ll get me the ick. Besides, they say first times are always awkward, but…I trust you, and it doesn’t have to be perfect, you know?” You reassured, then noticed the look on your boyfriend’s face. He looked…nervous, really nervous. “Unless you don’t want to do anything yet, I completely understand. I just wanted to tell you that I'm ready, so someday we can–”

Jake didn’t know what got into him that night, but before you could even finish the sentence, his lips were on yours, and hands were everywhere. This kiss was something else, hungrier, passionate. He kissed you like he wanted you to know this part was what was best. He devoured you, and you let him.

Jake knew about sex, of course he did. He was a nineteen year old boy who had just finished his sophomore year of college. He was the only one in his friend group that was in a relationship, so it was only a matter of time when they would ask him when he and you would have sex. But he never said anything, it wasn’t a topic of conversation he wanted to have with people. But of course he was curious, how couldn’t he? He would listen to his friends talk and talk about their hook up experiences. But he had that with you, and he couldn’t ask for more. Hell, his friends–college friends, always talked about how good sex was. But Jake wasn’t that type of person. He was the person that was willing to wait, sure, he’s had his dreams where stuff happens and he wakes up with the hardest morning wood, but he was willing to wait for you. Because there was nothing more precious than to have your first time with the person he treasured and loved the most.

But yeah, he couldn’t help but to jump right to it when you brought the topic up.

“You’re so beautiful.” He breathed out between kisses. A small whimper escaped from your lips, making Jake get more excited. He pulled you closer to him, moving the gifts just to the edge of the bed, not caring if they fell to the floor. With both arms, he positioned you on top of him, legs bracketing his lap.

Jake’s hands wandered around your body, under your top. You’ve had multiple make out sessions before, it wasn’t like you never did anything. He knew your body like the back of his hand. He knew his favorite parts, and he knew yours too.

With one hand, Jake grabbed the back of your neck to pull down to his lips, and with the other, he lifted your top just enough so his cold fingers touched your bare skin. When you gasped with his touch and your lips parted, he used it as an opportunity to enter with his tongue, exploring your mouth like he always did.

“Tel me if I’m being too rough.” He whispered, pulling away to look at you. “Tell me if you want to slow down.”

Out of breath, he swallowed nervously, eyes flickering down to your red-plumped lips, to give them one more rough kiss, not giving you time to breath. You whimpered into the kiss, making Jake’s hips twitch beneath you.

Your fingers ran through his hair. Make out sessions always ended right there, with you on top of him then falling on his chest. But this time, instead of pulling away, Jake sat and backed up until his back met the bed frame. His fingers moved carefully to the end of your top and looked up at you so innocently.

“Can I take this off?” He asked gently.

Your lips parted, finding a way to answer but you simply nodded, lifting your arms to help him. He raised the top over your shoulder and his hands were immediately on you. He took a second to breathe, to watch how your chest moved. And he couldn’t help but admire you.

Sure, he had seen you in a bikini plenty of times, but it was nothing like this. You were in a private setting, and you had just told him you wanted him to be your first time.

“You’re gorgeous.” He looked up at you, making you smile shyly, suddenly too self-aware that you were getting naked.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” You could feel your cheeks warming up. 

His fingers moved to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, your very messy hair, then he smiled. “It’s the truth.”

You leaned down to kiss him again, hands grabbing his face. Jake’s hands moved to your upper body to push your chest against his clothed one, feeling the warmth.

His lips suddenly found your neck, making you gasp at the way he started sucking on it. “Does it feel good? Tell me.” He kissed his way down to your collarbone.

“Yes, it feels really good.” You stuttered.

Jake smiled against your neck, kissing his way up to your lips before pulling away to take his fitted-shirt off. Your hands wasted no seconds to hover over his chest, making him chuckle when he pulled you closer again.

Out of nowhere, he switched positions, you under him, legs still wrapped around him as his body pressed heavy on yours. 

“Are you still sure?” You nodded, he kissed your shoulder. “I need words, baby. You gotta communicate.”

You opened your mouth, watching as his hands moved down to the waistband of your pants. “I’m still sure, Jake.” He smiled, and God that smile made you feel so many things. 

He pulled your pants down, underwear still on. And again, he couldn’t help but to take a second to admire how you looked; hair was everywhere, lips were plumped, juicy and bright red from all the kissing, chest was heaving, and your body…you were perfect.

When you noticed his eyes hovering everywhere, you couldn’t help but to move your arms to cover yourself, but Jake quickly pulled them away.

“Don’t. You’re beautiful like this.” He leaned closed to press his lips to your jaw, then down to your neck, making you melt under his lips. “You’re so perfect, and you’re my girlfriend. My perfect girlfriend.”

“Shut up.” You chuckled nervously.

He looked up at you and chuckled, “too much?”

You shook your head. “Not at all. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said before pressing his lips against yours in one sweet kiss.

It didn’t take him long to discard his pants, leaving him in his boxers. You didn’t know what he looked like, he didn’t know what you looked like under all these clothes. But he didn’t care, because it was you, and everything about you was already perfect in his eyes.

“Jake?” You suddenly called, making him stop kissing his way down to your chest.

“Yeah?”

“W-we don’t have a condom.” You whispered, as if there were other people in the room.

Jake awkwardly scratched the back of his head and smiled, “yeah, I might have a few.” You furrowed your eyebrows, making him quickly stand up and rush to his bathroom, stumbling on the way back with a box of what looked like condoms. “My mom gave me these just in case.”

“Your mom?” You repeated.

He nodded.

“That’s so embarrassing.” You covered your face.

Jake dropped the box of condoms on the bed and rushed to you, taking your hands in his to kiss your face. “I thought so too at first, but it's for protection. She cares about you.” He kissed your nose.

You opened your eyes and looked at him with a small smile.

“We don’t have to do this tonight.” He whispered again, “we can always just watch tangled.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

You shook your head, pulling him closer. “I want this. A hundred percent.” You reassured him.

He licked his lips, eyes flickering down to his lips before nodding. He grabbed the box of condoms, opened it, and tore open one of the packs, but before he pulled down his boxers, he looked at you and smiled awkwardly.

“Woah, okay. This is real life.” He mumbled under his breath as finally he pulled his boxers down just enough to reveal his length. Your eyes widened, rested on your elbows as you watched him roll the condom on his cock.

“Uhm, is—is that going to…fit?” You wondered, suddenly scared.

Jake looked up and nodded, ignoring how his cock was basically staring at you. Whatever the definition of big is, it was Jake’s cock, and you couldn’t help but to want to close your legs in fear that you were going to break or something. Shut up, you want this. You shook your head and smiled.

“A-are you okay? Second thoughts?” Jake asked, knees resting on the bed as he grabbed your hand for comfort. “It’s not that big.” He tried to console you.

It really wasn’t. You just have never seen a dick before.

You finally looked up at Jake and nodded, swallowing nervously. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Jake silently cheered, a mix of emotions going through him as he touched your hips gently to pull you closer to him. “It’s going to sting a little bit at first. Are you sure you want this?” He asked again, fingers moving to the waistband of your underwear.

You nodded, “I trust you.”

He pulled your underwear all the way down then quickly settled between your legs, making you bite your lip. He pushed your legs apart, and Jake couldn’t help but to take a small look at your folds. He had never seen you like this, and he loved it. His fingers slid down your wetness, making you arch off the bed, a small gasp leaving your mouth. Jake watched as you closed your eyes, his cock pulsing just by it.

“I’ll be gentle. I promise.” He guided his tip to your entrance, you opened your eyes and nodded. Jake hovered over you, closing the distance between your bodies, pressing his bare chest on yours. His lips found yours for a second, to calm you, to prepare you. And when the tip finally entered you, both of your breaths hitched, he pressed his lips against yours.

“Is this okay?” He asked quietly.

You didn’t move, mumbling a small “yes”. He sighed and trembled above you as he continued entering you, your lips parted open, hands flew to his arm for support. “It hurts a little bit.” You stuttered.

Jake nodded, “I’ll go slow. It’s okay.”

He kissed you passionately, making you melt under his touch, only then realizing he entered you completely. He let out a gasp, making you clench around him. “F-fuck that feels good.” He shuttered over your lips, not moving. “Are you okay? Try to relax.”

“I think so.” You smiled nervously.

“Do you want me to move?”

You nodded, making him sigh in relief. He started rocking his hips, looking down to where your bodies were connecting and parted his lips open. You bit your lip, it was hurting a little, but the pleasure was bigger than the pain. You felt full, and felt tense, but somehow Jake was helping you get through it.

He looked back at you, hips moving as he leaned down to connect your lips with his. It was a messy kiss, but it was perfect. His tongue entered your mouth, savoring all of it. Your arms wrapped around his shoulder whereas your legs wrap around his waist, giving him more access to your body. You gasp at the sudden change of position, moaning into Jake’s mouth. He opened his mouth, pressing his cheek with yours as he breathed heavily.

“This feels so good—so perfect.” He gasped, the pace becoming faster and rougher than it was at first. No words came out of you, just moans and gasps for air. “Tell me how you feel? Is it good? Where do you want me?” He asked between grunts.

You shook your head, “this is perfect. You’re perfect. I love you, Jake.”

He groaned when he heard his name roll out of your tongue, making him rock his hips harder into you. “I can’t believe you’re mine. I love you so much, Y/n. You’re so perfect. And you’re my girl, and I love you.” He whispered, out of breath, close to his release.

You held him tighter, feeling too much too fast. You tensed up, gasped for air. “J-Jake, I-I think—I think I’m close.”

Jake shut his eyes, holding you tighter to help you. “Does it feel good?”

“It feels weird.” You gasped.

“It’s okay. I’m also close, we can come together. Just relax. It’s just me.” You nodded, taking his face in your hand to hold him close to your face. You watch as his expression changed, furrowed eyebrows as if he were in thought, making you pull him close so your lips hovered over his. When he opened his eyes to look at you, you shut yours tightly as the orgasm came over. Your legs trembled around his waist, pussy clenched around his cock, and Jake was the happiest man alive. He came just a few seconds after hearing your moans and seeing your expression change, then collapsed right next to you.

For a moment, Jake simply took the cover out and pulled it over your body then lied next to you in silence. The only noise being both of your heavy breathing. When you didn’t say anything, Jake turned to you, his arm touching your stomach.

“Did I hurt you?” 

You looked at him and smiled shyly, shaking your head. “It was amazing, Jake.”

His eyes lightened up, a smile spreading on his face. “Really?” You nodded, making him sigh in relief. “Thank God, I really enjoyed it. Really. It was perfect. And you looked so pretty, I felt like I was dreaming.” He rambled.

You giggled, facing him completely. “I mean, it hurt at first but—that’s how first times are supposed to be most of the time. And I think I had an orgasm, which is also good.” You said, making Jake’s eyes widened.

“About that,” he looked down at himself then laughed awkwardly. “I should probably throw this away and get you cleaned up. Stay right here, I’ll be right back.” He gave you a peck on the lips before standing up.

He rushed to the bathroom with no explanation, and you figured it was the condom he was referring to, so you just lied there with a giant smile on your face as you waited for your boyfriend to come back. When he did, he had a cloth in hand and a glass of water.

He placed the glass of water on the night stand and sat beside you, “let me clean you.” With hesitation, you let him.

Sure, you were still a little shy even though you just lost your virginity, but Jake was someone you trusted.

After he cleaned you up, he grabbed your underwear and gave it to you casually before hopping on the bed and wrapping his arms around you after you put your underwear on. He pulled the covers over the two and rested his head in between your neck and shoulder.

“Thanks for trusting me, Y/n.” He whispered, giving you a lingering kiss on your shoulder. You smiled shyly, feeling the warmth of his chest on your back.

That night was when your relationship became more intimate. On your twentieth birthday, in the middle of summer classes, Sim Jaeyun had his first time with the girl of his dreams. The love of his life. And he seriously couldn’t be happier.

Layla’s owner  will I get kicked out of ENU if I climb up to your dorm?

you  Jake wth

Layla’s owner  Let your hair down Rapunzel!

Jake couldn’t hold in his laughter when he saw you open the window and look down with a shocked expression. “I have flowers!” He whispered-shouted, waving them in the air.

You closed your window and Jake swore he could hear ruffling all the way down. A few minutes later, you came out with your—ironically—rapunzel pajamas.

“Here ya go, my pretty princess.”

You smiled shyly as you grabbed the flowers from his hands and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “What’s the occasion?”

“Nine years ago today, I humiliated myself in front of the prettiest girl in the universe by hitting myself with a basketball.” He smiled proudly, “then that pretty girl helped me get up and didn’t make fun of me. That same day, I realized I was in love with the pretty girl who was way better than me at basketball.”

You bursted into laughter, covering your face with the flowers. “That’s so cute, Jake!” You hit his arm, all of a sudden shy. “How can you remember that?”

“Love can do such thing, gorgeous.”

You rolled your eyes and threw your arms around his shoulders, making him huff. “You’re so cute.”

“I get that a lot from a very specific person.”

“Hmm,” you hummed as you moved your arms to his waist and looked slightly up to meet with his eyes. “I wonder who it is…”

He moved his lips teasingly, leaning down to press his lips with yours in a delicate kiss. You smiled into the kiss, and he smiled as well, making you pull away and just kiss his cheek.

“I can’t believe you came all the way here just to give flowers for that.” You said, making him gasp.

“Hey, it’s a very special date for me! It’s when I realized I liked girls!” You furrowed your eyebrows, “that sounded weird.”

“It did.” You both laughed

All of the sudden, a flashlight flickered in your direction, making you both look to your right and see one of the guards walking up to you with an angered look.

“What are you two doing out here this late?” The old man asked.

Jake quickly raised his arms in surrender. “Sir, I swear in my life, I’m not harassing this young girl!” He crossed his finger and held it in the air. “Scout’s honor!”

You snorted and hit his arm, “Dude! Sir,” you turned to the guard and smiled shyly. “Sorry, he’s my boyfriend. He just came to drop some flowers.” You explained politely.

“At 10PM?” He raised his eyebrows.

You pursed your lips into a thin line and nodded, “I know. But he was just leaving!”

“I was?” Jake wondered.

You rolled your eyes and pushed him off, “bye!”

He pouted dramatically, blowing a bunch of kisses in the air as he jogged backwards, looking incredibly silly. When disappeared, you turned to the guard and smiled, “He’s weird, I know.”

“You kids these days.” He shook his head as he walked away, making you laugh it off and walk back up to your dorm.

JAKE ALWAYS believed you lived in a happy household. For the longest time he thought that, because seeing you and your dad smiling all the time, it made it seem that it was all good.

When you told him about your mother cheating on your father, he noticed how badly it affected you. He knew your father was the person you looked up to the most, so seeing him hurting, hurt you, and seeing you hurting, hurt Jake. He didn’t know what it was like to have divorced parents, all his friends’ parents were still together, so he wasn’t exactly sure how to take care of you. But he was there, because you once said his presence was already enough.

“I just don’t understand why she would do something like that.” You shook your head in disbelief, head lying on Jake’s chest.

You had gotten back from Chuseok weekend with your family. Jake was supposed to go as well, but he had work so he had to skip dinner with his parents. Now, instead of arriving straight to your dorm, Jake picked you up from the train station and brought you to his apartment.

He never thought he was good at comforting people. He was always the type of person who would awkwardly pat someone’s back after spilling the most devastating news. But with you, just by holding you, you felt comfort.

“Like why couldn’t she just divorce him?” You wondered out loud. “Cheating is so dumb. You can just break up with your partner, free yourself from whatever. Why cheat? What fun is there in betraying the person you’re supposedly in love with?” You looked up at the ceiling.

Jake agreed with you. He obviously did.

“It’s an ego thing, babe.” He said lazily.

You nodded, “right? I guess it makes sense for my mom. She’s always been like that. But why my dad? He’s so nice! He’s the nicest man ever, how can you break his heart like that? I’m sure he would’ve been okay with her divorcing him in the first place—sure, he’d be heartbroken, but he would’ve understood.” You rambled, “and the worst part is that my mom thinks she has some control over me, telling me to stay out of it. How can I? She was screaming at my dad when the angry one was supposed to be him. She’s got nothing to be angry about. It’s so annoying.” You covered your face in desperation.

Jake grabbed your hands and held them close to his lips. “Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself. This isn’t your fault.”

“I know but,” you paused, exhaling loudly. “I feel bad for my dad.”

He smiled down at you, kissing your hands. “I’m sure he knows that. But he wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself over something like that, especially if it’s because of him. You know your dad.” He comforted you.

You bit your bottom lip and groaned, turning away from him and hugging one of his legs. “Can we just watch Tangled?”

Jake smiled even though you couldn’t see him. “Of course we can.”

JAKE LIKED being taken care of, especially by his girlfriend. Especially when he’s drunk.

It wasn’t a normal thing for him to get this hammered, really, he didn’t even drink like that. But when the semester was over and his final grade got rounded to a ninety-five, he just had to celebrate. Of course, celebrations like that always ended with you taking him to his apartment and him mumbling incoherent things about you.

“Seriously, you’re like the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.” He spilled his words as he tipsily walked over to his room with you helping him. “You’re the only girlfriend I've ever had, and I’m okay with that. People always say having a lot of girlfriends is cool but I don’t think that. I’ve only ever been in love once, and I still am. Her name is L/n Y/n. I remember when I first met her.”

You smiled subconsciously, already knowing where this was going. There had been a few times where he would drunkenly tell you—as if you were a stranger, about the love of his life—you. You never got tired of hearing about it.

“Like, she’s just so smart and hilarious—oh gosh, she’s the funniest girl ever. She always makes me laugh, and then—“ he chuckles as he drops to his bed. “Woah, this bed is comfy. Hey, can you get my girlfriend? I really want to sleep next to her.” The room was dark, not bothering to turn the lights off, you started taking his shoes off, making Jake’s eyes widen. “Woah, hey lady! I have a girlfriend!”

“I’m just taking your shoes off.” You snorted, not helping it.

Jake lifted his heavy head and gasped. “Y/n? How long have you been here, baby? I missed you.” He pouted.

“You’re so cute, Jake.” You grabbed his cheeks and squeezed them dramatically.

He smiled shyly, turning his face away from you. “My girlfriend thinks I’m cute.” He muttered under his breath as you walked away to put his shoes in the closet.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He sobbed into his pillow without you noticing. “Like seriously, I’m such a failure without you by my side. Without you, I’d be known as the basketball-magnet.” 

You snorted as you walked over to the other side of the bed. You gently hopped on the bed, pulled the cover above you both, and turned to Jake. “Get some sleep, pretty boy.”

“Yo quiero a Maluma.” He mumbled, back facing you as you wrapped your arms around his body. “Yo amo a Y/n so mucho.”

You laughed quietly, cheek pressed against his shoulder.

THE SECOND semester of Junior year was definitely hitting Jake harder. He had signed up for more classes so he would have a lighter senior year and wasn’t as stressed as he was today. He was really trying. He didn’t like seeing you so bummed out because of his cancellation of plans or postponements. He wished there was something he could do to make it up to you, but he was just too stressed.

“Did you see the trailer for Sinners? It looks cool.” You said, looking down at your phone. “We should watch it when it comes out. Michael B Jordan’s in it.” 

“Uh, yeah totally.” He responded blandly.

You looked up from your phone and saw Jake completely concentrated on his textbook. “What are you doing?” You asked curiously.

“I,” he paused, flipping the pages to his textbook then typing on his laptop. “Am finishing a project that is due this weekend. I told my team I’d have it done by today, just need to re-check some stuff.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “You’re doing the work all by yourself?” He glanced at you and nodded. “You’re already handling like eight classes. You’re being too hard on yourself, you know?” You scooted closer to the edge of the bed.

“It’s fine. I’d rather do the work by myself if it means it’ll be correct.” He shrugged casually.

You nodded, “if there’s anything else I can help you with…any math homework? English?”

At that, he looked at you and smiled, a smile that could only mean he was relieved. “I forgot you’re good at English. Yes, you can help me with English. I haven’t finished this assignment that’s due tomorrow.” 

You bent down to grab his backpack and took his English notebook out and with a smile, you winked. “One English assignment on the way.”

Jake quickly pulled you in for a kiss. “You’re the best.”

You scrunched your face and continued his assignment in silence, feeling happy that there was something you could help him with. 

Another thing Jake loved about you, is that you understood him. You put in as much effort as he did, and that’s how you balanced each other out. That’s one of the many reasons why he loved you.

“HEY, JAKE.”

Jake looked up from his seat, putting the last of his stuff on his back pack. “Hey, Nari. What’s up?”

She smiled when he called her name, “my birthday is this Friday, I was wondering if you wanted to come to this small get-together as a celebration. It’s just a few friends.” She insisted.

Jake frowned. He wasn’t that close to her. At least not close enough to be invited to a birthday party. He had been partnered up with her a couple of times in this course. So he had gotten to know her a bit. If he said no, he’d feel bad.

“Oh, sure. Is it okay if I bring my girlfriend? I’m not exactly close to any of your friends and I wouldn’t want to take much of your time.” He asked.

Whenever Jake got invited to something, his first thought was if he could bring you. Not because he thought you’d get jealous—never that, but because he would rather have you by his side in public events.

“Oh, sorry. There’s a limited number of people that can go and inviting someone else would go over the limit. I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t mind.” Nari tilted her head, twirling her hair in her finger.

Jake frowned but nodded still. “That’s okay. I’ll be there. Happy birthday in advance, anyway.” He smiled at the girl, ready to walk away when she stopped him.

“Oh, are you going to the cafeteria?” She asked, walking beside him.

He shook his head. “Well, technically yes. But I’m going to go look for Y/n—my girlfriend, so we can eat together.”

“That’s so cute.” She giggled, making him frown.

Cute. Only you called him that, it felt weird hearing the word come out of another girl’s mouth.

“I’m going that way too, mind if I join you for now?”

He nodded, not seeing anything wrong with it.

Right when they walked out of the building, Nari stepped on the wrong foot, making her stumble and grab onto Jake’s arm for support. Jake, like the kind person he is, let her hold on to him until she was balanced.

“Are you okay?”

She giggled and nodded, fixing her hair. “I’m so sorry, I'm so clumsy.”

“It’s okay. They messed up the steps there.” He looked back just for a second before looking ahead, not noticing how Nari was still holding him.

“Hi!”

Jake recognized that voice immediately. He turned around and saw you, and it was weird how he wanted to smile at you and show you every tooth, but he ended up nodding.

“Hey.”

Beside him, Nari let go of Jake’s arm and ignored you, giving you a small sour smile, making you smile fade away.

You asked Jake if he was okay, to which he nodded and leaned down to kiss you. You turned to the girl beside him and smiled, “I’m Y/n. Jake’s girlfriend.”

“Obviously I know that.” She scoffed before she turned to Jake. “I’ll see you later?” She dragged her hand on his arm, making you frown.

Jake nodded, making you look between them as you watched him watch her walk away. 

“Oh, you’re going out?”

Like something snapped in him, he nodded. “Uh, yeah. It’s a group thing. Last-minute invite to Nari’s birthday party.”

“Nari.” You repeated her name. “Yeah, that’s cool. I can study by myself.”

He gave you a small smile then threw his arm over your shoulder.

“I DON'T know, man. It was weird.” Jake shook his head as he threw the basketball on the hoop, making it. “It’s like one second I was there, and then the other one I wasn’t.”

Heeseung furrowed his eyebrows, catching the ball. “Who have you been hanging out with? I’ve heard some creepy stuff about witches around campus.” He commented.

Jake let the ball bounce on the floor. “What?”

“Yeah, like,” he paused, turning to him. “Last semester. You know Sakura? Some girl cursed her boyfriend or whatever. Creepy shit. He called her all types of names.” He shook his head as he grabbed the ball from the floor. “I was there when it happened. What’s her name? Naomi? Nari?”

“Shit. I have a girl named Nari in my class. I went to her birthday party yesterday.” He froze.

Heeseung kissed his teeth, “yeah, bro. You’re cooked. There’s like a rumor she’s done this since high school, and that she goes for the lover boys or whatever.” He snorted, “damn, you might be the perfect target.”

“Shut up. Don’t say that.”

“Maybe she’s got you under her spell already.”

He continually shivered, and gasped out loud when his phone buzzed. When he unlocked it, it was a message from the devil herself. Kim Nari Econ. “Dude, she just sent me a text.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened as he rushed to his side and snatched the phone. “”Can we meet up? I have something important to show you.” You’re not like– going right? Bro, she just sent a creepy ass location. I’m coming with.” He shook his head.

“You’re not. It’s not a creepy location.”

“It’s literally in the middle of nowhere.”

Jake tilted his head to the side. “It’s on campus!”

“Exactly.” 

He shook his head in disbelief, “I’ll just go see her, it’s probably nothing. And if she says she’s in love with me or something…I’ll just reject her respectfully and tell Y/n about it. How it should be.” He said casually, making Heeseung sigh.

“I wish I could be more like you, bro. You inspire me.”

Jake snorted, throwing the ball back to him for a last time before dabbing him up and leaving the court. “I’ll let you know what happens.”

“Praying for you already.” He crossed his heart.

“GIVE IT to her since you want her so badly you accuse me of things you know I’d never—in my life—do to you.”

Jake swore he would never hurt you. Hell, you even told him not to make that promise because you already knew he would never do that, because he would hurt more. But why did he feel so empty and not at all sad when he saw you walk away from him?

It was all a blur. But he wasn’t crying. It’s like he didn’t care. Sim Jaeyun didn’t care that he hurt you. What type of witchcraft is that? What happened to the Jake that would rather hurt himself than hurt you?

His friends asked themselves that for the longest time after you two broke up and you left for New York. Even when they told him you left he didn’t care.

“Why do you keep bringing her up when she’s his past? She broke up with him.” 

Jake wasn’t even part of the conversation. It was just Nari versus the group of boys in front of her.

“Like you don’t know the reason why, Nari.” Riki spat, “besides, no one brought her name up, it’s not my fault you’re so obsessed you know when we’re talking about her.” He rolled his eyes.

“Because you’re always mentioning her. “Noona this”, “noona that”. God, Riki, she’s not even your sister.” She scoffed, holding on to Jake’s arm.

Riki held his breath, calming himself down. “You’re so lucky I don’t beat up women.” He muttered under his breath, making Sunoo and Jungwon cover their mouths in pure shock.

“What did you just say?” Nari raised her voice.

“Do you really want me to repeat myself?”

Before Riki could make another move, Jay came in with a plate of popcorn and snacks, snapping Jake back to reality. “Here, here. Nari, are you sure you want to be here? It’s about to be chaos.”

“I’m sure. Jakey wants me here.”

“I doubt it.” Riki snorted, bumping shoulders with Sunoo who just looked away.

“It’s just, well—it gets a little crazy in her when we play. And you’re the only girl….” Heeseung decided to speak up, hands already moving to grab the best controller.

“You’re seriously kicking me out?”

He glanced at her and shrugged. “Uh, if that’s how you see it.”

She turned to Jake, who was simply grabbing popcorn and breathing really loudly. “Are you letting your friend talk to me like that?” She pouted, making the guys look at them in disgust.

He scratched his eyebrow and sighed. “Uh, actually I think I might just go back to bed. I have an interview early in the morning.” He unhooked his arm from Nari and ran his fingers through his hair. “Hey, am I going crazy or is there something important going on tomorrow? I’ve been trying to think of what it is but nothing comes up. It’s like my mind went blank.”

Everyone looked at each other then turned to Nari who shrugged. “It’s probably nothing important, Jakey.”

Riki held back a gag, motioning them to move. “Just leave. Seriously.”

Both Jake and Nari stood up, dragging him to the exit without saying goodbye to the others. When they disappeared, Sunoo shook his head.

“Something’s seriously wrong with that woman.”

Riki hit his chest. “Dude, there’s no way he could just forget Y/n noona’s birthday like that. And he’s been acting so bitchy lately. Like he’s brain dead or something."

Jay sighed, taking a seat next to Heeseung. “Maybe he just changed.” He said.

Jungwon sat next to him and grabbed the popcorn from him. “Hyung, people don’t change that fast. Jake hyung specifically. He was just talking about wanting to take her to Cancun for their fourth year anniversary and now they’re broken up. It’s weird.”

“Totally.” The others agreed.

“JAKEY, you crazy ex-girlfriend has been threatening me non-stop on twitter.” Nari pouted.

Jake glanced at her and sighed. “Just ignore her.”

“How can I? She leaves mean posts on everything I post. Can’t you talk to her or something?”

He exhaled loudly, grabbed his phone and went to your contact.

Jake  hi

He confronted you through texts, because for some reason, he couldn’t face you. It was strange, how just a few months ago, he couldn’t be a second away from you and now he’s telling you to stop bothering the girl next to him.

“She says she doesn’t even use twitter so she wouldn’t be able to threaten you, maybe it’s a bot.” He put his phone down, not really caring.

Nari scoffed. “You’re just going to leave it? What the hell, Jake?”

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, “just block her. Hate comments are stupid.”

Nari didn’t understand. Jake was supposed to be all over you, that was the plan. No one was supposed to intervene. Why did you have to come back and ruin everything? What did she have to do to keep you away from him?

WHEN JAKE ended things with Nari, it felt like something in him snapped, like he was finally himself again. He felt lighter, like a heavy weight was lifted away from his shoulders and he could finally walk normally again.

But then there was you, all the memories, all the moments you and him had, they reappeared out of nowhere. Like in the movie inside out, they popped out. Like they were taken away from him for a moment but they were back. And that was a horrible and emotional moment for him.

That night it happened, he went to the furthest bar to drink. He had just turned twenty-one just a few days ago, he could drink his feelings away. He could get drunk and forget all about the girl whose hurt he broke for whatever reason.

What did you even do to him?

Why did he ever accuse you of such things?

He knew you.

So why?

He kept thinking about it as he drowned in shots. Why all of a sudden did he start thinking of you differently, why did he think you would ever hurt him like that.

It was stupid.

It was immature.

He was disgusted with himself.

“Hey, kid. Are you okay?”

He looked up and smiled drunkenly, nodding. “Well you don’t look it.”

“I broke my girl’s heart. Like deeply, too many cuts—cut her heart in half, probably.” He shook his head, “well, not literally. I guess in a way, but not literally. She’s alive, is what I mean.”

“You’re young. I’m sure you’ll fix things.” The man beside him comforted him.

He scrunched his face in disagreement. No one was good at comforting him like you were. And he hated that at this moment, you weren’t here. And it was because of him.

“I doubt it. I messed everything up. I don’t even remember why. But I know I did.” He played with the empty glass.

“Maybe you should text her. If you know you messed up and you’re willing to try to fix things, she should at least know.” He suggested.

Jake looked at the older man and smiled, “you’re a wise man, anyone ever told ya that?”

“Many times, kid.”

He snorted and grabbed his phone, sweaty fingers touching the screen as he sent you those incoherent–yes, even in texts–messages.

A few minutes later, you responded and told him to stay where he was. Not like he was planning on moving anyways. But the security guard had helped him out, stayed with him. He even advised him to maybe slow things down and fix himself before he tried to fix things with you.

Somehow everyone knew what he should do but him.

“There she is!” Jake excitedly pointed right at you the moment you pulled over, making him realize you were actually there, for him. You didn’t even say anything when Jake made his way to you, again, stumbling on his feet. All you could do was look away, tapping your fingers on the wheel anxiously. And all he could do was watch as you drove back to his lonely apartment.

It was obvious you were disappointed in him, he could see it from a mile away, even while drunk. Because other than your father, he was the only one who could see right through you. And he hated not being able to say something, because that wasn’t his role anymore.

CHRISTMAS BREAK was going well for Jake. He had left school a little early, he knew his grades were good so he didn’t bother waiting until he got his final grade back. He just cared about going back home and having a conversation with his mom. Other than you, he sought comfort in his mom, and it’s not in that weird mommy's boy way–his mom’s someone who first showed him how to love. And also, he kind of wanted to chat with someone else, but he wasn’t sure it was the best idea.

Your dad was someone special to Jake. Not just because he’s your dad, but because he’s always treated him like his own kid, in a non-weird way. The first time he sought his help was when he got into a fight with a boy from school in his second year of high school. His own dad couldn’t make it that day, neither could his mom, so he called the person he trusted after them–your father. 

“Please don’t be mad at me. Y/n already is.” He walked out of the office, ashamed.

Your father patted his shoulder and guided him to the exit of the building. “Why’s my daughter mad?”

He glanced at him but shook his head. “I know the principal said I punched the kid just because, but there’s an explanation.” He sighed, “He was saying stuff about Y/n and at first I tried to stay calm because I know she doesn’t like when people fight, but then he said something really disrespectful and I…I got mad, and that’s when I punched him.” He confessed.

The older man nodded, “I don’t see how that’s a bad thing. Sure, violence isn’t the right answer. But when it’s someone you deeply care about, you tend to take things personally. Isn’t that right?” Jake nodded, “Why did my daughter get mad though?”

“She said I should just leave it alone because she didn’t want me to get in trouble for a stupid comment. But sir,” He turned completely to him. “It wasn’t just a stupid comment. It was disrespectful. But even if it was just a stupid comment, I would’ve confronted him either way, he’s such a jerk. He’s always being mean to people.” He rolled his eyes as he stepped out of the school.

Your father chuckled, “Well, Jake. You did get in trouble, but the boy got what he deserved. I saw him, his nose was bleeding.” He scrunched his nose, making Jake chuckle. “I’m glad my daughter has someone like you. She’s a strong girl herself, but sometimes she’s too kind and doesn’t see that the world can be cruel.”

Jake nodded at his words, his words cutting deeper than he thought. “Now, your parents will be really mad when they get home. Want to get some tteokbokki?”

He chuckled and smiled, “Yes, sir, I would like that.”

“Let’s go, kiddo.”

Jake hadn’t seen your father since you broke up. He couldn’t, and he shouldn’t. He wasn’t going to try and take away the person you treasured the most from you, just so he could have someone to talk to. But sure, as if God was on his side, as he was walking to your house to deliver his christmas gift and something else, a car approached him.

“Jake?”

He froze when he realized who it was. He saw the car window roll down completely and instantly did a ninety degree bow, making your father let out a laugh. “What are you doing out here in this cold weather, kid?” He asked.

Jake glanced at your house then back at him. “I-nothing, just walking.”

Before he could hide the gift in his hand–not that he even could since it was big, your father pulled over and signalled him to hop on the car.

“That for my daughter?” He gestured to the gift, making him nod awkwardly. “Hmm.”

“I know we’re broken up but–I don’t know,” He shrugged, really not knowing what to say.

Your dad nodded, “It’s been a while since we’ve talked, huh?” Jake nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

He looked at him for a second, a small smile forming in his lips. “You should talk to her.”

Jake’s eyes lightened up, “Are you sure?”

“I think you should help her tonight. She’s a bit down, I had a fight with her mother and she locked herself in her bedroom. Ruined her Christmas. I left before I even talked to her. Maybe you should try.” He explained.

The younger man frowned, “Is–Is everything okay?”

Your dad nodded. “With her? Not really. She needs someone right now.”

He shook his head, hesitating. “I don’t think I’m the best choice for her to be with right now. We’re not exactly on good terms and I don’t want to disturb her or ruin her night even more.” He rambled, shaking his head then looking down at his gift. “No offense, sir, but I shouldn’t even be talking to you. You're like– her favorite person and I don’t want her to think that I’m trying to steal you away or something.”

He snorted, “I’m sure she won’t think that.”

Jake puckered his lips out.

“You can talk to me, you know? I might be more judgmental because you did hurt my daughter badly but I’m still here for you, kiddo.”

At his words, Jake relaxed in his seat. He couldn’t help but to feel guilty about talking to your father, but he wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t being paid to listen, and he offered that.. “I love your daughter, sir. I really really do, and I know you probably don’t believe me and that’s totally fine, but I don’t know what the hell happened to me that day. I don’t know why I called her those horrible names. I seriously don’t. And you know, if you want to punch me, you are free to do so. No one did that to me when I called her names and I feel a little bit hypocritic. And I’m sure you want to punch me and hurt me because I hurt Y/n so bad she had to leave the country. I don’t even remember her leaving, she was just gone. And for some reason, I don’t think I cared–again, feel free to punch me–but during the months she was gone, I felt like I was empty, I don't even remember anything about this summer. And when she came back, I started feeling again, all sorts of emotions, and it was weird.” He paused for air, then sighed. “I know it’ll take a lot of effort and time for her to forgive me, and I know that even if she does, she’ll never forget those words. And that will haunt me forever, but I just want to try for her, you know? I have been going to therapy for about a month now and I think it’s working. But sometimes when I’m talking, I remember it’s paid therapy so I just go back to square one because does my therapist actually cares about how I’m feeling? Sorry, this isn’t about me–the point is, I really want to try for Y/n, I really do.”

Your dad stared at the out of breath boy and smiled. “It’s good that you’re working on yourself before anything. That’s how it should be.”

“You think?”

He nodded. “Have you ever heard of the saying “how can you love someone if you don't even love yourself?” Jake nodded, “It applies here, sort of. How are you going to try to work things out with Y/n if you haven't worked things out with yourself?”

Jake stared at the older man, “but what if by the time I’m better, she’s with someone else?”

That was a question he never asked himself before until now, and he just realized how painful the scenario was.

“Then you learn to let her go.”

Your dad responded, and Jake’s breath hitched. “My daughter–she’s very hard on herself, but she has her standards set. If one day she decides to forgive you, even if it’s years from now…then it means you changed for the better, and not just for her. But for yourself.”

“What if the only reason I want to change for the better is for her?”

“Then you’re being selfish.”

Jake looked away, holding the gift tighter. “Don’t ask for her forgiveness. Show her that you’re willing to become better. That you’re willing to wait, however long it takes.”

For the first time in months, Jake realized the lengths he’d go for you, the time he was willing to wait. It was kind of stupid that he needed your dad’s help to figure it out, but still. 

“You’re a great dad, sir.”

The older man chuckled, “I’ve been told.”

JAKE'S HEART had broken when he read the message you had sent him after Christmas break, he understood why, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. The therapy sessions weren’t helping either, since all his therapist wanted to talk about was about the present. Jake wanted to talk about you.

You were considered the past.

And he hated that.

Because his therapist was right.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Relaxed, I guess.”

The therapist nodded, writing down something in her journal. “Why are we feeling relaxed today, Jake?”

“Uh, the project I mentioned last week? I finished yesterday.” He said, sighing. “Now I just have to worry about the up-coming exams. But in comparison to the project…I feel more relaxed–I don’t have any work to do.”

The therapist raised her eyebrows and smiled, “That’s good to hear, Jake. It must feel good to take that weight off of your chest.”

“I guess.”

“What about future plans? Spring break is coming up.”

He nodded, patting his sweaty hands on his lap. “I’m going to Australia for an interview. I’m trying to get an internship at this company.”

The woman raised her eyebrows and smiled. “That’s amazing news. Is it something you like?”

“Yeah, I see myself in that field. Before I moved here, my dad used to work there and I really like what he told me about it.”

She smiled, writing something down. “So you’re following your dreams, that’s good.”

He nodded.

“What about short term plans? Do you have any plans for the weekend?” She asked, writing something down.

Jake shook his head, “My friends are hanging out but I don’t feel like going out tonight.”

“Why not?” She wondered.

He sighed and shrugged, “I just want to rest and watch a movie. Something peaceful.”

The woman nodded, “What movie?”

Jake chuckled, “I don’t know…Tangled?”

The woman sighed, putting her note pad down.

“You’ve mentioned that movie a few times these past sessions.” She recalled, making him smile awkwardly.

“I-It’s a good movie.” He shrugged, keeping casual.

It’s in fact, a movie he only watched with you. It was your movie. You two even dressed up as Rapunzel and Flynn once in your freshmen year of college. It wasn’t just a movie to him, it was you.

“Let’s try something.”

He sighed in defeat.

IT WAS April seventeenth and Jake had hesitated but ended up driving back to his hometown for one reason. Your dad. He found out a few weeks ago about the incident when you visited him back on Valentine's Day, his parents had accidentally brought up during a family dinner. He pretended not to listen, figuring out that maybe it was best if he kept quiet.

But his birthday was in two days, and he wanted to at least wish him a good day, ask him how he’s doing. Just the simple stuff.

“The house is nice.” 

Your dad chuckled as he let Jake in, “it is, isn’t it?” 

He looked down at the boy’s hand, which was carrying flowers, and he couldn’t help but to awe, making Jake blush in embarrassment. “A birthday gift.” He explained.

Your dad smiled and pulled him into a hug. “Thanks, kid.” He patted the boy’s back.

When they pulled away, your dad quickly walked over to the kitchen to grab a vase and pour water on it before taking the flowers from Jake. “See, I’ve never been good at taking care of flowers but I do try to keep them alive as long as I can.” He pursed his lips into a thin line, making Jake smile.

“It’s all good. It’s hard to keep them alive most of the time.” He agreed.

The older man nodded, taking a seat on the dining table, gesturing to him to sit as well. Jake took a seat and looked around the house. There were pictures of you everywhere, with your family, with your friends, and one in specific that made his breath hitch. It was the picture your dad had taken of you and Jake on your graduation day, the one where he was trying to kiss your cheek and you were pushing him away. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“I can’t believe you kids are graduating from college already.”

He glanced at the man, now noticing he had been watching the same picture as him and let out a small laugh. “Yeah, it’s crazy.”

Jake’s eyes wandered around the room. After the conversation with his parents, he decided to ask Jay about it, figuring out that maybe you talked to him, and he mentioned to him what really happened on Valentine's day with your dad–not some rumor passing around, and he couldn’t help but to feel bad. How long has your dad been going through this alone? Does he really have no one to help him?

“Can I ask you something?” He nodded, making him sigh. “I know it’s been a long time since she came back but…one of my friends mentioned that she came back to Korea for personal reasons.” He paused, turning to your dad. “And I heard what happened when she visited you…are you getting sick again?” His voice came out shaky.

The man exhaled and gave him a sad smile, making Jake frown and nod. “I would prefer it if we kept this between us…she doesn’t know.”

“Don’t you think she’s figured it out by now?” He wondered.

He shook his head, “She doesn’t know it’s terminal.”

Jake looked away, tears beginning to form in his eyes. Your dad sighed, scooting his chair closer to the boy. “It’s alright, kid. It was a matter of time. And everything’s good right now.” He reassured, patting his shoulder.

Jake shook his head, wiping his face before he looked at him. “Do you know how much time you have? Is it less than a year?” He stuttered.

“When my daughter took me to the hospital, they told me I had less than five months left.” He responded sadly, making Jake shake his head.

“So three months?” He asked in a very low whisper, as if he were afraid you would hear, making the man nod. “That’s too soon. You can’t do that to Y/n… isn’t there something the doctors can do? Can’t you take something to live longer?” He rambled, lips quivering. “Shouldn’t you be going to the hospital more often? Maybe if they rerun the tests they might find something they can fix–”

“–there’s nothing they can do, kid.”

“How would you know that if you haven't gone to the hospital in two months? What if you’re healthy now and they can do something about it?” Tears spilled from his eyes, causing your dad to frown sadly and pull him into a hug. “Y-you can’t do that to her. She’s going through so much already, if you leave her…she won’t have anyone else.”

“She’ll have you.” He whispered against the boy’s head.

Jake couldn’t believe what was happening. Why did it have to be like this?

JAKE WOULDN'T call it stalking. He wasn’t aware you two still shared a lot of the same likings, but he was glad you did, because it meant he could try and protect you from afar. He didn’t have to do anything, just seeing you smile made him realize maybe you were doing okay.

It was May now, and like Jake, you and the others were getting prepared to graduate. He found out from his friends that after graduating, you were becoming a preschool teacher, just like you always wanted. And that you were planning on taking the LEET to attend Law school after graduating. And he was happy for you, he wanted to jump in your arms and congratulate you with the messiest kisses all over your face. But he stayed away. He noticed how happy you were, without him. And he was okay with that. To an extent, at least.

“I swear, this final is going to kill me.”

Sunghoon groaned loudly enough to earn a few stares from the other students. Jake scrunched his nose and buried his face in the large text book. “Seriously, why do I have to study? I’m becoming a kids’ hockey coach.”

“Just shut up, dude.” Heeseung mumbled against his pillow. The group of boys stared at the older one, wondering where the hell did he get a pillow from.

“Psst.”

Both Sunghoon and Jake looked behind their shoulders and saw Riki on the table next to them with a smirk on his face, nodding towards the library entrance. There stood Yunjin and Jay, laughing at something he said, whilst behind them, you walked in with Donghyuck by your side, pointing at something in your textbook with that expression he knew was of you being completely stressed.

You looked incredible, you were glowing. Even if it was an exaggeration. It was like the sun hit you just perfectly, he couldn’t help but stare.

“Wanna bet those two are going to date by graduation?” Riki whispered loudly enough for them to hear, referring to Jay and Yunjin.

“Nah. I’ve made so many bets and lost all of them.” Sunghoon shook his head.

“Puuuuusy.”

He rolled his eyes at the younger one.

Against his pillow, Heeseung mumbled. “I give it a year.”

Riki frowned, "That's so long, I’ll forget the bet by then. But fine, you're sooo going to lose.” He giggled diabolically, making Jake shake his head with a small laugh escaping his lips. Coincidentally, his eyes found yours in the room full of people, and he saw you smile at him–that flat smile that even though was only meant to be a form of politeness, made Jake’s heart flutter.

“Noona, can you help me study for my final? It’s the government class you took last year.” Riki flipped the pages when you took a seat down in front of him.

You were across from him, and he tried really hard not to look at you. So again, he buried his head in the textbook.

GRADUATION DAY came faster than he expected. May was about to end, and all Jake could think about was how much time your dad had left. It could be any day now, and his heart would stop anytime he thought about it.

But he was here today with you, that was all he needed to be alright. Your dad was at your graduation, and a weight lifted from Jake’s shoulders.

“Y/n L/n.”

The loudest cheering came from your dad and Riki, what a shock. Jake clapped for you, even though he was in the science major section. And a lot of people clapped for you too, making him smile proudly. He didn’t have to clap for you, you wouldn’t even have noticed if he didn’t because of how far he was from the stage. But he wanted to. When you waved at the crowd and blew a kiss, the smile on his face was huge. When it was his turn to walk up the stage and receive his certificate, the first thing he did was look for you. You gave him a thumbs up and a smile and of course he gave them back.

“Okay, say cheese!”

Your dad kept the tradition of taking as many pictures as he could at your graduation. After taking his, Jake’s attention was on you and how happy you looked smiling at the camera, at your dad. He swallowed, remembering what he told him just a month ago, but he tried to shake it off.

“Where are your friends, hon?” Your dad asked you, looking around. When he found Jake, who was also looking around, he smiled. “Why don’t you take one with your friends from high school?” He suggested, “Lily’s not here but the others are.”

You nodded, looking for Jay and Sunghoon. When you found them, you waved at them to come over. Obviously they rushed to your side, but your dad stopped them from hugging you.

“Where’s Jake?”

The boys looked at each other and stayed silent, glancing at you. You looked around and saw Jake giving an awkward dab up to one of the guys in his class, making you smile a little. With no hesitation, you walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. When he turned around, his heart stopped.

“Hey.” He breathed out.

“Hi.” You smiled at him with nothing but sincerity then looked behind your shoulder where your dad and the boys were cheesing. “My dad wants us to take a picture.” You said, smiling awkwardly.

He started nodding before you even finished the sentence, making you giggle as you made your way back to the others. Your dad set up the camera and hummed, seeing how you and Jake were on each corner. “I want to recreate the picture so…Sunghoon and Jay in the corner, then Y/n stand next to Sunghoon, Jake next to Jay.” The group repositioned themselves.

Your arm wrapped around Sunghoon’s waist, his going around your shoulder, interlocking it with Jay’s to pull everyone closer. Jake looked down at you, hesitating to put his arm around you. 

“Hey,” You looked at him. He gestured to his hand, “Is it okay if I…?”

You nodded, even taking a step closer to him. Jake let out a shaky breath and let his arm fall to your waist, hand still somewhat extended without actually touching your hip, and turned to the camera.

“Okay, say cheese!”

“Cheese!”

Your dad snapped the pictures, smiling hard when he noticed everyone’s smiles. His heart felt heavy, but watching you smile next to those you grew up with, made it okay. “Okay, okay, funny faces now!”

You, Sunghoon, and Jay all stuck your tongue out, and Jake, always looking to copy your expressions, turned to you for a second to copy your funny face, but ended up cheesing when he saw you. Not realizing your dad was already snapping the pictures, you glanced at Jake and laughed hard, looking away with the happiest smile. It felt like you were back in high school.

“Okay, everyone gather around!” Your dad pushed the rest of your friends to be visible in the camera. Shotaro and Donghyuck stood right behind you and Jake, pulling a peace sign above your heads playfully. Yizhuo stood beside Sunghoon who hugged her with the biggest grin on his face. And Yunjin stood beside Jay, his arm wrapped around her waist to pull her closer to the group.

“Aww, can we get in on that?” Riki frowned dramatically.

Everyone laughed at the boy, but when your dad nodded, he ran to be in front of you and Jake with rockstar signs, whilst Jungwon, Heeseung, and Sunoo bent down in front with smiles on their faces.

“Okay, say cheese!”

“Cheese!”

Click.

“Okay, now everyone goes with their own families.” Everyone chuckled and walked away, each to their families. Except your dad grabbed Jake and you by the shoulder and gave you a knowing smile. “I know it’s awkward, but please let me take a picture of you two.”

You rolled your eyes, yet the smile on your face and your reddened ears thought otherwise. Jake just followed your lead, standing next to you awkwardly. When you wrapped your arm around his waist, he let out a breath of relief, placing his arm around your shoulder with a smile on his face. You both simultaneously put your hands up with a peace sign, and smiled at the camera. A real smile.

Your dad snapped the picture and smiled, “So cute.”

Jake chuckled, letting go of you with a smile. “Congratulations, Y/n.”

You blinked and nodded, a smile growing on your face. “Thanks, Jake. You too.”

“I’m so proud of you both.” Your dad placed a hand on each of your shoulders, making you chuckle awkwardly.

Jake felt happy, but a part of him still knew your dad was doing all of this, making you take pictures together, pretending it’s all okay, because he knew it was almost his time.

When he cleared his throat, Jake felt scared. The older man started coughing, making you place your hand on his shoulder for support.

“You okay, dad?” You asked.

He nodded, but the coughing continued. People started looking your way, and all Jake’s smile was fading away. When he disbalanced himself, he was quick to take him in his arms. And all of the sudden, he started coughing blood, making you gasp in horror. Your dad fell to the floor, camera lying beside him as you both kneeled down in front of him.

“Dad?” You put your hand just below his chin so the blood would fall on your hand.

Jake looked behind his shoulder and saw his family looking over worriedly, along with strangers. “Sir,” he looked back at your dad when he saw his own brother grab his phone. “We’re getting you to the hospital, okay? Don’t worry.”

You looked back and forth to where the blood was spilling out of his mouth, tears beginning to form in your eyes. Your cap and certificate were already abandoned on the floor just behind you, that wasn’t important anymore. “Dad, just–stay with us, please.” You stuttered.

WHEN YOU left to go to the hospital in the emergency van, Jake made the quick decision to contact your siblings and your mom. Your mom was nowhere to be seen, and he was afraid of what that could mean. She hadn’t attended your graduation, so where was she? Your siblings he was able to contact, and they were already making their way to the hospital when he had arrived with flowers in his hand. He was hesitant to enter the hospital at first, but how could he not be there for you in moments like this? You were alone in the waiting room, waiting for the doctors to come back with good news–any news at all. You had no shoulder to cry on.

So he did what he would’ve done if you were still together, he showed up without you having to ask.

“Y/n?”

 A punch would’ve hurt less, the way you looked up from hiding in your hands–the puffy red eyes and trembling lips broke him completely. When you saw him, you broke. As if what you needed to open up completely had arrived.

One second, you were sitting, sobbing alone in a room full of strangers, the next, you were sobbing in Jake’s chest, his arms covering you perfectly from others. Even with your stuffed nose, the scent of the flowers filled your nose, making you have a little hope that your dad would be okay. You didn’t notice when Jake sat both of you down, put the flowers down to caress your head.

“It’s going to be okay.”

You sobbed harder, shaking your head as you pulled away. “I think it’s bad. It’s b-been an hour and they haven’t said anything. What if he’s not okay? What if I don’t get a chance to say goodbye?” You stuttered, rambled, and he sat there patiently.

“He’s strong.”

“I don’t want him to be strong, I want him to be okay.” 

Jake nodded, his hand moving to caress your shoulder subconsciously.

He couldn’t watch you hurt like this. But he knew what was happening, and he didn’t want to leave her side.

“Family of L/n?”

You both looked up, quickly standing up. Jake tried to give you the flowers but you took his hand and followed the doctor. Jake knew you weren’t exactly thinking, but he let you do your thing. You rushed to the room your dad was and when you saw him, a sob escaped you.

“Dad.” You breathed out in relief. He looked….like he was in pain. Jake could see that. 

“Hey, kiddo.”

You choked a laugh and sniffed, hugging your dad like he was going to run away. “I thought something happened to you.”

“I’m pretty sure something did.” He shrugged and nodded, gesturing to all the equipment and syringes he had on him. 

You hit his shoulder lightly, glancing over your shoulder with a small laugh to see Jake standing there just outside the door with a small smile on his face and glassy eyes.

“Jakey? You’re here too?”

The boy nodded, stepping into the room. “Yeah, I…I didn’t want her to be alone. I called your siblings and everything.” He directed the sentence to you, making you smile. “They’re on their way.”

You nodded, a saddened smile appearing on your lips. “Thanks.”

Your dad looked between the two and cheesed, “I’m assuming those are for me?” He nodded at the flowers in his hands, making him chuckle and nod, placing them carefully on the empty space on the hospital bed. “You should become a florist one day. With your love for flowers and all.”

The two young adults smiled at his comment, “maybe one day.” Jake said quietly, eyes flickering to you.

His phone suddenly buzzed, he took his phone out and smiled at you. “Your siblings are here. I’ll go get them.”

You nodded, watching him step out of the room. You turned to your dad and let your hand fall on his. “I’m really glad you’re okay now.”

“I’m sorry for ruining your day, kiddo.” He frowned.

You shook your head. “What? You didn’t. It was the best day ever.” You said, tightening your grip. “You could never ruin my day.” You reassured.

 You stayed in silence until your siblings entered the room with your two nephews, making you smile. One of them—who was a year old—was already in the arms of Jake so your sister could hug your dad. You chuckled and made your way to him, grabbing the little girl’s hand.

“Hi, little baby!” You made kiss sounds, making the baby squeak.

Jake looked down at you, watching you interact with the baby, and smiled subconsciously. He moved closer to you so the baby’s lips were on your cheek, making you giggle. Out of nowhere, your sister’s other kid—who was four, tapped you on your waist, making you turn around and smile, he opened his arms for you to carry him and when you did, he hugged you tightly.

“Grandpa?” He asked quietly, making you turn away from Jake and the baby.

You smiled at him. “Wanna say hi?” He nodded, you walked past your brother-in-law with a small ‘hi’ and placed your nephew down on the hospital bed, “look who’s here!” You grabbed your nephew’s hand to open his arms to hug your dad.

“Ah, my best baby boy!”

You backed away and let him have him, walking back to Jake. “I can take her, if you want.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. You should be with your family right now.” He smiled at you, patting the baby’s back. “And she’s a cutie.”

You laughed, raising your eyebrows and nodding. “Isn’t she a treasure?”

From the bed, your dad kept glancing your way. It was sad, the fact that this was the only time he’d be able to see you carrying a baby, or imagining your future. But he smiled, because he knew this was exactly how it would look one day, even if he wasn’t there for it.

“Excuse me?” Everyone looked at the entrance and saw one of the nurses step inside. “I’m sorry, but at the moment we can only allow two people per visit. It can get crowded.” She said sadly.

Jake was the first to step out of the room, seeing as he was really the only non-relative person in there, but your father considered him part of the family. “Actually, you kids should take Y/n to eat something. She has been here for a while.” He told his children.

They all nodded, your brother-in-law thanked Jake and grabbed his daughter from him. “Thanks, Jakey.”

He nodded, about to walk with him. “Jake, can you stay behind? I need your help.”

You looked at your dad and frowned. “Everything okay?” He nodded, “I’ll be right back, dad.”

He nodded with a smile. Jake quickly took his wallet out of his pockets and handed it to you, making you furrow your eyebrows. “Buy whatever you want, it’s on me.”

You looked down at the wallet and gave him a sad smile. “Thanks.”

When you walked away, Jake stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him. He stood just in front of the door, leaned against it and sighed. “Can you go through my pants?” He furrowed his eyebrows, “There’s something in the back pocket I want to give to you.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He rushed to where the man’s clothes lay. He grabbed the only bag inside the pockets and tried handing it to him but he waved his hand in the air, “It’s for me?”

He nodded, making Jake nod slowly as he opened the bag. Two rings fell out of it and into his palm. He frowned, looking up to the man. “Are these…”

“One of them is my wedding ring. The other is my mother’s.” He responded, knowing exactly what he meant. Jake moved to open his mouth but your dad beat him to it. “I’m not going to make it. My daughter always played with my ring when she was little. I told her that when her time came, I’d give it to her. If I give it to her right now, she’ll know what it means. After I…after I die, I want you to give it to her.”

The boy shook his head, eyes flickering at the ring. “I shouldn’t be the one to give her this, sir.”

“Do it as a last favor.”

He pursed his lips into a thin line and nodded, eyes turning to the rings with the diamond on it, “What about this one?”

Your dad gave him a smile, “that…is my mother’s ring, that I want you to keep it.”

“M-me? Why?”

He waved his hand so he would come closer and patter the empty seat beside him. Jake took it, feeling suddenly nervous.

“I gave this to my wife as a promise that I would love her forever, and to this day, I do. Even though things didn’t end well between us. I gave my blessing to my eldest’s husband, but I won’t be able to do that on my youngest daughter’s day.” He grabbed the ring from the boy’s hand, opened the palm of his hand, and intertwined their hands, keeping the ring between them. “I knew the day you and my daughter met that you were going to be a special person in her life. Maybe someone temporary, but a special one. I wasn’t going to give you this ring until the actual day came where you awkwardly tried to have a one-on-one conversation about my daughter and you asked for my blessing…” Jake’s heart beat faster at the man’s words. “I don’t want you to think that just because I’m giving you this, that you have to ask for her hand. I’m not going to be here tomorrow, I won’t live to see the day where you come back and are a better man. When the time is right, if you and my daughter start over…I want you to give her this ring and promise her the same thing I did with her mother. If one day you decide that maybe this is where it ends for you two, I want you to give her the ring either way, but tell her what I’m telling you.”

“Sir…”

“I don’t want you to leave today with the idea that this is my last wish. My dying wish is for my daughter to be happy, for her to move on. Whether it’s with or without you.” He said, “I don’t want to be like that mom from that teen show Y/n watches where her dying wish is for the girl to be with one of her sons.” Jake snorted.

“The summer I turned pretty?” He asked.

“I believe you’ve always been pretty, Jakey.”

He cackled, tears flying away from his face, making the man smile proudly of his joke.

“I want you to work on yourself first. I want her to heal first.” He became serious, eyes flickering to the door where he was waiting for you to walk in. “I believe you’re a great guy, Jake. You just gotta start believing that yourself. You have people around you that love you for who you are. Including me.” He patted the boy’s hand before pulling away.

“Thank you.” Jake breathed out, lips puckering as he nodded. “I’ll try my best. I truly will.”

“I know you will. Now come here.” He pulled him into a hug, making the tears fall on to the man’s shoulder. “I love you, future son-in-law. And tell my daughter that she can make the ring into a necklace since she hates rings so much.”

Jake chuckled against his shoulder, pulling away. “I love you too, sir.”

All the sudden, the door busted open, revealing you with several jellies in one hand, a baby in her right arm, and a very shocked expression on her face. “Dad, they’re talking about who’s getting who!”

Jake quickly stood up to take the baby out of your hands, you smiled at him and rushed to your dad’s side. “Tell them to shut up.” You lowered your voice.

“Hey, we have to talk about it someday!” one of your brothers said.

“Don’t say that!”

IT WAS past midnight and at this point, everyone knew where this was going. Your dad had fallen asleep after having a conversation with each of his children. You being the last. It was a very sentimental conversation, one that ended in both shedding tears, but your father convinced you to accept what was happening. You finally said your goodbyes.

The doctors had escorted everyone out of the room, your brother-in-law had left the hospital to take his children back home, your older sister and two older brothers had been quietly talking right outside of the room, sneaking glances at the pair in front of them. You had fallen asleep on Jake’s shoulder just a few minutes ago, and tiredly, Jake’s head had also fallen on yours, eyes closed but not asleep. Just there.

Your mother was nowhere to be found.

Jake had sent a few text messages to her, telling her about your dad and how you needed her. But she never responded. And he couldn’t be more heartbroken for you.

Jay  my mom told me what happened

Jay  is her dad okay?

Jake looked down at his phone and sighed.

Jake were just waiting now, we all said our goodbyes already

Jay  oh

Jay  send her my condolences when you think its a good time

Jake  i will

Jay  if there's anything you need lmk

Jay  I have her dad’s camera and both of your certificates btw

Jake  keep them safe for me pls

The boy shut his phone off, moving his head just a tad to look down at you. You looked peaceful, lashes fluttering, even your breathing seemed peaceful. But of course, peace never lasted this long.

“Excuse me.”

Jake lightly tapped on your shoulder, making you open your eyes and scrunch your face from the light. You all turned to the doctor in front of you, who was wearing a saddened expression on his face. You knew what it meant.

“As you know, your father was very ill, and despite everything we did to keep him comfortable, his condition continued to worsen. I'm very sorry to tell you that he died peacefully a few minutes ago.”

The silence in the hallway was strong. Your oldest brother gave the doctor a saddened smile. “Thank you, doctor.”

“He’s at peace now, for what it’s worth. We’ll give you a couple of minutes so you can say your final goodbyes.” He stepped out of the way and all you could do was bury your head in Jake’s chest. His hand moved to your back, rubbing comfortably up and down. He watched as your siblings stepped into the room where your father lay.

“You should say bye to your dad.” He whispered quietly, arm still around you.

You pulled away and sniffed, wiping your nose. “I can’t do it.”

Jake stood and extended his hand out to you, a small smile appearing on his lips. “It’s okay.”

With hesitation, you grabbed his hand and stood up, flattening your skirt before stepping into the room. He pulled his hand away to let you be with your siblings. You hugged your sister first, then your oldest brother, and lastly, your other brother, who kept you in his arms whilst you cried. Jake stepped just near the exit of the room, simply staring at the scene. The doctors suddenly entered, pulling the cover all the way over your dad’s body, making him stiffen.

You swallowed, pulling away from your siblings to walk out of the room. Jake glanced at your siblings before he took a step back and followed you outside on the balcony. It was freezing cold. And you were already trembling from inside, but you didn't care. You stood just before the railing and sobbed quietly. When Jake stepped out on the balcony, he tried everything not to cry.

“Your dad asked me to give you something before he passed.”

You stopped sobbing for a second, hearing Jake’s footsteps getting close to you. When he stood face to face, he started fishing something out of his pocket, moving the ring your father had given him to the side.

“He wanted you to have this,” he took a bag out of his pocket and chuckled sadly. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to receive this from, but he really wanted me to give it to you.”

You grabbed the small bag from him, a small tear falling down your right cheek when you saw your father’s ring fall in the palm of your hand.

“It’s my dad’s ring.” You bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from choking on your tears, looking at Jake. “Thank you.” You whispered.

He nodded, keeping his mouth shut to not cry in front of you. He buried his hands on the pockets of his pants and watched you put the ring in your index finger, making him chuckle again. “He also told me to tell you that you could always make it into a necklace, since you don’t really like rings.” He added quietly, trying his best not to ruin the moment, making you laugh, the tears spilling from your eyes.

You spun the ring on your finger and nodded, sniffing. “Thank you, Jake.”

“Of course.” He said under his breath, not trusting himself to speak more. He licked his lips, fidgeting with the small ring he had in his pocket as he looked at you. He watched as the tears kept falling, never ending, and how you were trembling because of the sudden cold breeze of air. With no hesitation, he took his blazer off and laid it on you, making you look at him with a small smile.

“Y-you should go back inside, it’s getting colder out here.” He suggested. “And I’m sure your family’s worried about you.”

His voice was careful, soft, like the one he would use when he’d help you calm down after an argument with your parents.

“I just…I need a minute.” You firmly said, making him nod.

“I understand.” He gave you a soft smile. As he began to take off, thinking you’d want to be alone, your mouth moved faster than your brain.

“Will you go to the funeral?” You asked, making him turn around, “I mean, there’s going to be one—tomorrow or on Monday, probably. And I—It’d be nice if you went.” Your voice trembled as he walked back to you.

“Are you okay with me going? If you don’t want me to go—“

You cut him off. “My dad loved you, Jake. The fact that he trusted you to give me his ring…I think it would be wrong for you not to go–to not say goodbye.”

“Okay.” He simply said.

“Okay.”

You repeated, making him nod. He opened his mouth to speak, watching as your puffy eyes kept delivering tears. And he couldn’t help but to scream at himself mentally, because if you were together, he wouldn’t have hesitated in opening his arms to hug you. But tonight he did, because tonight was not about him.

His arms wrapped around your upper body, not giving you a chance to react—to reject. Because he knew you needed that hug, so he let you use him as a shield. You completely fell apart in his arms, your body not even wrapping around his, just there, in his hold. And Jake would be lying if he didn’t feel like dying when he heard your sobs against his chest. His eyes began to tear, nuzzling his head down on your head and pressing your lips against it, not kissing you, not romantically, just so you knew there was someone holding you.

“It’s going to be okay, Y/n.” He mumbled against your head as you kept you crying, the sobs buried on his chest. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” His voice cracked, moving his cheek to lie on the head instead of his lips.

THE FUNERAL was the hardest part.

Because when he saw you in that black dress and unreadable expression, he knew you were in the stage of grief where you were trying to bury your feelings away.

He watched as you gave everyone that smile that perfectly expressed how you were feeling at the moment–your lips never once parted, always a tight-forced smile as you shook hands with those who gave their condolences. Your mother had forced you to be polite, and Jake noticed it from far away.

“Hey, man.”

His eyes moved away from you, turning to his friends. There stood Sunghoon, Jay, and Lily–who had come all the way from Australia to say her goodbye’s to the man she saw as a father-figure.

“Hey.” He said sadly.

Without saying anything, Lily placed her hand on the boy’s shoulder for comfort before turning to the others. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I didn’t know he was sick.” She frowned.

Jake’s eyes moved back to you, as if he were tracking every movement. He was worried about you. You were the only one who hadn't cried the whole ceremony, it made him nervous to see you very-well put.

“He got worse this year.” Jay explained to the girl, making her nod sadly. He turned to Jake and raised his eyebrows, “you’re still leaving, man?”

His lips parted, eyes still on you like he was afraid you’d fall as soon as he looked away. “I have to.” He said quietly. “I just…I want to speak with her before I do.” He added after a second.

Sunghoon followed his gaze and kissed his teeth. “You should do it now, she looks like she needs saving.”

Jake watched as you kept shaking people’s hands, knuckles turning white when your mother would whisper something. Without thinking it any further, he excused himself from the group and walked to you, hands in pockets, finger wearing the ring.

“Y/n?”

You looked beside you and sighed in relief, a small smile forming in your lips. “Hi.”

Like your eyes were glued to his, you skipped over the people walking up to you. “Is it okay if we take a walk?” He asked, voice calm and collected. You glanced at your mom and jumped from the last step to stand beside him.

“You must be tired of shaking hands, huh?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Like always, he did, because you chuckled. “I've probably caught so many bacterias by now.”

You stretched your hands, making Jake take something out of his pocket and hand it to you. “Glad I brought this then.”

You looked at the hand-sanitizer and laughed, nudging your arm with his. Jake looked down at you and smiled, opening the small cap and pouring some of it on your hand.

The two of you walked around the cemetery in silence, just looking at the flowers and tombs around you. You needed this. The sound of your breathing was loud, but your heart beats were louder, you somehow could hear Jake’s as well as yours. But that somewhat made it better for you, it made you feel calmer.

“I’m leaving for Australia today.”

You stopped walking, making Jake do the same. “You are?” 

He turned to you and nodded. “I did this interview months back for an internship at this company. Remember our career project from our first year in high school?” You nodded with a small smile. “I’m doing an internship in that company.” He confessed, licking his lips.

Your eyes lightened up. “Really? Jake, that’s amazing! You’ve always wanted that.” He nodded with a huge smile on his face. You smiled at his reaction, “I’m happy for you.”

His smile faded off, realizing your eyes were tearing up. “I heard you were going to take the LEET, that sounds fun too. And that you’re becoming a teacher this fall.” He tried changing the subject.

You shook your head, blinking the tears away. “I don’t know if that’s going to work anymore.” You chuckled.

Jake nodded sadly, understanding. “Well, whatever you decide to do…your dad would be proud either way, he’d want you to keep going, you know?” He searched for your eyes.

You nodded, smiling at him. “I know.”

He took his hands out of his pockets and patted them on his jacket. “I just wanted to say goodbye before I left. Not that I needed to or anything, I wanted to.” He stuttered over his words.

The words got caught in your throat, making you smile sadly at him as you spun the ring on your necklace. “Thank you. For everything, Jake.” He stared at you, lips puckering. “I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this when you also have your own stuff going on. But I’m really thankful you were there for me even though I didn’t ask you to. It means a lot.”

“It’s the least I can do after the way things ended.” He shrugged, “like—the bare minimum.”

You chuckled. “Still, I’m sorry for keeping you in the hospital that late, you saw things you shouldn’t even have to see.” You frowned.

Jake raised his hand to touch your face, his thumb wiping the tear that was about to fall from your eye, then he smiled. “I stayed because I wanted you to have someone to hold you.” He caressed your face softly, making your eyes water. “And I wanted to say goodbye to your dad too, he was a special man.”

“Yeah, he was.” You smiled, your mouth leaving a lingering touch in his hand.

“And if it’s too much, I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind if you took some time before taking the LEETs.” His hand fell from your face to your wrist, taking your pinky and interlocking it with his. “But you should totally continue the preschool teaching, and hey, maybe in a few years, we’ll see each other again and we’ll both be in our primes.” He tried to lighten the mood.

You covered your mouth and laughed, your other hand still intertwined with his. “In our primes?”

He nodded. “Make it a promise, come on.” You rolled your eyes and tightened your grip on your pinky. “Next time we see each other—whether it’s in a few months, or a few years, we’ll both be the best versions of ourselves. Yeah?” You stared at him, a smile forming your lips when he pulled your intertwined finger to his lips and kissed it.

You followed him and kissed your pinky. “Pinky promise.”

When you both pulled away, you exhaled. “I’m going to miss you, Jake.” You admitted. “I hope everything goes well in Australia.”

He nodded with a sad smile on his face. “Trust me, I’ll miss you more.” You chuckled, he opened his arms and pulled you into a hug, making you melt under his touch. You wrapped your arms around his waist, completely pressed against him and sighed. Jake kissed the top of your head, “can you promise me one more thing?” You hummed, “be happy. Don’t let anyone step over your toes. And most importantly…don’t let anyone make you cry like this.” He pulled away just enough to see your face.

You were sniffing, crying even—quietly, but Jake knew you too well. He smiled down at you, and you looked up at him with his hand in your chin. “Promise?”

You nodded. “Promise.”

He gave you a last squeeze and pulled away, “take care of yourself, Y/n.”

“You too, Jake.”

With one last wave, Jake turned around and walked away. When he disappeared, you couldn’t help but to break into a sob.

mars yap now lets be honest....I locked in for 46 hours to write this masterpiece, have never written a 20K word chapter..this is insanity...I need help...my laptop is glitching but were good...I cried every time I read this chapters because my feelings were all over the place so hopefully u did too...there's one more chapter left ok I love u bye...