— 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚

lena could not help but marvel at the strength of this small child. it took so much energy to stay standing with tightly clenched fists. she was fighting back the tears as well. the week had been a downpour of emotions, and she was left exhausted and hydrated. she could only imagine he felt the same. “it’s okay to be sad right now. we’re all sad,” she told him, “but he wouldn’t want us to be sad forever.” 

and when he began to cry she felt her heart break. she wanted to reach out to him, to hold him tight and tell him everything would be alright. she wanted to make everything alright. but it was not her place. she was just a woman in a veil who knew she had taken his father away from him. it was her fault, and nothing she could say to him would bring eden back. for the first time in a long while she was at a loss for words. she looked to the woman for guidance, before offering a reply. 

“i worked with eden earlier this year.  it was only for a few weeks but he made quite an impact on my life,” she admitted. she could not say that we was the reasons he had a life at all. any mention that she could have played a part in eden’s untimely demise would put the conversation at risk for an analysis of blame. now was not the time for that, even if that was wear impulse drew the heart. “i’d like to say we were even friends for that short period of time.”

          she kissed the side of his head, pushing his hair away from his face and wishing there was something she could do to make it better. this was what funerals were, though; they were the time to grieve for the person they lost, and it was what benjamin needed after keeping himself so pent up during the car ride and during the ceremony.      “ your father was a great man, bennie. you can tell by the great friends he made. ”       she whispered against him, giving him one last kiss before she looked at the woman.

michelle reached out, no longer being able to bear watching the stranger with her knees in the mud. as she stood up, she pulled her up as well, and ben kept his face hidden away against her coat. she kept her hand on his back, letting him squeeze against her.      “ he doesn’t like to be seen crying, ”     she whispered, glancing regretfully at her son.     “ he’s so young, i don’t know where he got it from. sometimes i think it’s one eden’s traits that passed down to him. ” 

lena did not want to encroach too much on the time of the grieving woman and the child. she already felt this exchange had dragged on too long. she knew how unsettling in could be for some stranger to claim they knew a loved one and lena preferred not to waltz into their lives and give half the answers. it would only prompt more questions. 

at the words whispered into her ear, she felt her heart sink - burying itself in the mud along with the empty casket. it took her a moment to find her composure before the smile returned. 

she sighed softly before she found the best explanation she could manage, “because sometimes there are people in the world that are like fire: they burn bright  and bring us warmth, but they die sooner than we’d like them to. your father … his fire was brighter than anything i’ve ever seen. and he used that power for good. he was a hero. i believe you’ll be a hero too one day.”

         michelle watched benjamin grow still and silent. it was odd for the boy to be so attentive and quite, but she knew that eden’s death was having a strong impact on him. she wasn’t certain that it fully registered with him that he’d never see his father again, though she could see him slowly processing the fact. he didn’t like to cry. everytime he got hurt playing outside he’d hold in his tears until his eyes were big and glossy and even then he wouldn’t let them out. sometimes, michelle would see him get up and hide when the pain was too much, or when he felt so frustrated that he couldn’t contain it.

she wanted to tell him that it was alright to cry, but she didn’t want to break his own take on the situation. slowly, it dawned on him now, hearing the words the woman spoke, pausing for a handful of long moments until his eyes filled with tears and he could not hold it in any longer. he sobbed, coiling in on himself and quickly wiping the first few tears but they kept coming and he pressed against michelle’s side, looking for comfort with his face buried against her coat. 

loss doubled down on the woman. to loose and to loose again did not numb the pain, only transfigured it into something new and far more permanent. lena knew this feeling all too well. the day that she had parted with her family to live in oxford she felt herself tearing the sinews which tied her to her blessed childhood.  then another more permanent division when she shed her name and became lena marks. only to be further divided from her family by death as her parent’s health failed and the ever efficient reaper took her brother matthew as well. 

lena nodded softly at the woman, unsure of exact how close she had been with eden. although lena was certain that no words could offer adequate comfort, especially not from a stranger. she knelt in the mud, careful to keep the hem of her skirt from dragging in the pools of rainwater from the night before. just as her face was level with the young boy, she dared to lifted her veil. she did not want to be a shapeless figure in his memory, a spectre that haunted his memories of this day. 

she smiled kindly at him. her eyes gentle and filled with wistful adoration. 

“i worked with your father for some time. he was a wonderful, brave man. you should be proud to be his son, just as he was proud to be your father,” this was another one of her lies, as she had never heard eden mention anything of this boy. but in some way deeply and intrinsically she knew that words held the truth, “i owe him a lot.”

       feeling wary, michelle held ben's hand again while they stood and watched the woman kneel. ben, as always, was barely fazed by a stranger's actions, and he held his attention to the blonde with a scowl. it wasn't until she began talking that his expression softened; michelle saw the moment that he heard about eden.

ben looked up at her as if questioning whether he could engage this stranger, and michelle nodded an encouragement, though she felt reluctant herself. who was this woman ?  

@trcve

Standing beneath the branches of a sturdy oak tree, Lena observed the funeral from a distance. She knew it was best not too veer to close and risk being recognized or draw attention to herself. The small crowd, all dressed in sharp black suits or tailor skirts, milled in the misty morning air. Two people in particular stood out to Lena. One was a woman: beautiful and distraught. She held the hand of a young boy.

The boy’s features were familiar… but younger and less bitter. Like the scars of blades and a life lived had not yet been received. But he had that same glare, as if he was going to fight anyone who’s eyes lingered too long. It did not take long for her to realize who exactly he was despite the fact that up until that very moment she did not know that he existed. She had to gulp down the fires of guilt that burned in her chest and crawled up her throat.

Tentatively she approached, smiling beneath her the veil in the hopes that it could be perceived faintly by the strangers. When she was close enough she offered a hand to the woman, “My condolences.”

          michelle did not expect for her hands to shake in grief for a man she chose to part ways with. ten years ago, her life changed by the unexpected arrival of a child. she still remembered the day of benjamin's birth, and the sight of eden holding their son in his arms for the first time. she was exhausted and wanted nothing but rest, yet past the haze of her view, she could see them-- the boy, so small and fragile, carried by the rough hands of a man who'd never treated anything so delicately before.

five years ago, they bent until they snapped and michelle filed for divorce. eden went away for too long at a time, spent weeks doing things that he could never explain to michelle, and while she put up with his lifestyle before they were married, she started to grow paranoid. their fights escalated until they drowned each other in screams and he would leave, slamming the door to god knows where and she would bury herself in alcohol. things turned better, really, with the divorce. eden never stopped providing for benjamin, or for her, but while she had full custody of their child, she had never been ready to be a mother from the start. ben spent most of his life being raised by his grandmother’s while she tried to get her life sorted, but years passed and passed and she was never quite ready to become the maternal figure he needed.

now, eden was gone, and who did benjamin have to look up to ?

        her head raised in the direction of a woman's voice, and she was torn out of her thoughts. she did not recognize her, but then again, there was so much about eden's life that she never found out about. she didn't even know how he died, and she didn't know how to explain it to benjamin when he asked about his father.      ‘ it’s his funeral, ben. ’     but that was all that she’d told him.

@trcve

“I’ve decided to name my gun.”

Alright, Mortimer might have had a bit of a drink as soon as he got on the flight. Just a tiny bit of one. He wasn’t even buzzed, really, so perhaps it was just nerves about the upcoming situation that had him blurting out something completely ridiculous to Eden.

“Really, it’s a beautiful piece of machinery, so it deserved a name, I thought. Do you name your guns?”

         his brows furrowed as soon as mortimer approached. 

he released an involuntary sigh as the other continued on from his opening statement because it only led eden to believe that he was intoxicated or maybe sleep deprived. he couldn't really allow the thought that mortimer, who'd been so apprehensive about even holding a gun, was now naming one. sure, it was a great pistol and quite wholly unique, but it was still undeniably odd behavior.

" not since i was nineteen, "      was his response as he lowered his drink onto the armrest, keeping his fingers curved around it. there was a mix of judgment and curiosity in his eyes when he looked at mortimer.      " so, what'd ya name it ? "

          all that bobby had wanted since joining this mission was to take charge. he’d long said that an american should be at the forefront of this mission, after all it was his people that were at risk if the russians were to succeed. still, that hadn’t prepared him for the reality of it all. 

          levi was no longer the team leader. 

          bobby should have been ecstatic. he was thrilled, of course, he’d practically jumped up and down when agent feng had called him, but a seedling of doubt had buried itself in his stomach on the night that they’d learned henry was the rat. he’d seen just how important levi was to the team, how he had been the one to make the hard decisions and how he’d stayed calm despite it all (at least until the end). and in truth? bobby had developed just an inkling of respect for him. hell, he’d felt almost… almost like he fuckin’ liked the guy. 

          great. it was just like levi to make him doubt himself, even after he’d just won. bobby sat at the front of the plane, going over a few, last minute, briefing documents before they deplaned in crete. fuck all. he thought to himself. what if he wasn’t ready for this? “aw hell,” he huffed, “guess it’s bad practice to drink, huh?” he asked, more to himself than anyone else, and closed the briefing documents. 

         was it his fault that levi was relieved of his duties?

the double agent living in their ranks was something that even the higher-ups didn't detect until suspicion began to grow among the team, so they couldn't really pin that one on levi. what levi did have control of was the diffusion of the situation during the meeting, and well, he did control eden... at the cost of the double agent escaping. 

right then, eden more or less got him fired. 

it was a strange feeling, but there was no helping it. eden didn't get a chance to speak to feng, and he found himself holding back at the thought of speaking to her anyway. he wondered what good rightfully passing the blame to himself would do if it was ultimately his word against two entire agencies. and besides, this meant bobby was team leader now. he somehow didn't want to risk him losing the position as soon as he got it. 

“eden…” klara wasn’t sure exactly what to say in this situation. part of her understood the possibilities of eden’s anger. that sort of betrayal was so severe and not to mention he had a family he needed to look out for. she could understand. but she stood by her actions. she would do it again if she had to. she would take that bullet to keep henry here, even after all he had done. “you really think i’m going to press charges?” she laughed at the thought. “i don’t take it personal eden…just as long as you don’t take what i did personally either.” she shrugged. “i had a reason… i had a good reason.”

           eden didn’t need to know klara’s reason. if she stood by it and didn’t regret it, that’s all he needed to know. he didn’t realize when he started warming up to her, but somewhere along the line of working together and spending time-off in between missions with her, she’d somehow wedged a way in. that didn’t change the fact that she had chosen to protect henry, but eden was okay with this kind of exchange. he learned so long ago that he would never meet someone who didn’t disappoint him, just like he would never stop disappointing the people around him. his family had made sure to teach him the lesson both ways around. 

Yes, he’d really rather prefer to not get shot again. This was his first time experiencing it, and it wasn’t pleasant. It also wasn’t nearly as painless as all the rugged heroes in movies made it seem.

“And they wouldn’t be considerate enough to avoid bone, so, point taken,” Mortimer said, his tone dry but nonetheless genuine. 

He wasn’t going to ask Eden if he would have killed Henry then and there. He was 99% sure the answer would be no, that Eden would have shot to disable and interrogate. Yesterday, that percentage of confidence might have been 100%, except, yesterday he’d also trusted that nobody in their team was a double agent. So. Percentage of confidence had to be slightly recalculated, at all levels.

“You didn’t get on with him,” he observed thoughtfully. “One could put that down to a clash of personalities, I suppose. But do you think there was a reason for it? A gut feeling, or something you noticed but didn’t consciously realize?”

         ❛❛ yea, only friends are considerate enough, ❜❜     he said before he caught himself. it surprised him to hear the words, however casually spoken they were. he figured he should simply take them like that-- a casual, meaningless comment. but he knew that he hadn't only avoided bone because he didn't want the bullet shot at mortimer to end up getting someone else, but also because he didn't want to potentially shatter mortimer's bone. the other man was inventive and while eden didn't know why he had a highly functional prosthetic limb, he didn't want to be the reason to give him another one.

mortimer's question was precisely what he had spent the last few hours pondering over. he recalled all of his exchanges with henry, small and insignificant, because everytime eden even caught sight of him he would've rather been somewhere where henry wasn't.

   eden wore a cross around his neck like an extension of himself, but it was always hidden underneath his collar. it wasn't a secret, and he would never deny god, but in his company, it wasn't something he had come to speak of. his next words held an impossible weight to them: no one could understand the shame he felt when he had lived as a sinner without repenting for it and spoke of god, knowing he would never forsake one of his children, no matter how much eden deserved it.    ❛❛ sometimes our own selfishness blocks our eyes from the truth. it wasn’t until that truth was revealed that i realized god was guidin’ me. ❜❜

Levi snorted. They were nice knives.

“I can think of worse ways to go,” Levi shot back, and though his resting glare was still plastered on his face, his eyes had softened a bit. He paused. “Are you going to be able to hold it together when we face Vronsky?” Levi’s voice had gone quiet. There was no heat in his tone—it was just a question, and Levi just needed an honest answer. He could work with either way.

          it was a valid question. he had given up too much. he had too much to protect. the lengths eden would go to make sure the people he loved were safe went entirely above clear-thinking. 

he wasn't prepared for henry, none of them were, but he had been trained for vronsky. he didn't go his common route to take offense when someone questioned him and instead looked at levi straightforwardly.      ❛❛ henry was different, he hid among us as a friend. i’ve known vronsky is the enemy. ❜❜

Being handed a gun wasn’t high on Mortimer’s list of favorite gifts, but he restrained the urge to pull a disgusted face. He had to rearrange himself slightly – tucking the crutch under his armpit to free his arm up, so he could take the case, which was promptly put on a little table near the door for when he left. However much he hated guns, Eden had put time, thought and effort into making this for him, and he was grateful.

“South,” he repeated thoughtfully. “Alright, that’s something to work with, at least. There’s a few points of interest that way that I can start checking. Thank you.”

And, just because he had to say something, so there was no misunderstanding:

“I understand your actions, back in the, er, chaos,” Mortimer said delicately. “I’m not entirely sure that I agree with them, but I do understand your rationalization. I’d, well, I want you to know that I wasn’t trying to defend Henry’s actions. It’s…” He blew out a breath, as if the whole situation was just then hitting him. “Christ. I know I was the first to suggest he was acting suspiciously, but I never truly thought– I’m not sure I’ve wrapped my head around it yet.”

          eden grunted in a non-committal way, even though he hoped that somehow mortimer would be able to pick up after henry's track so they could go after him. he assumed someone would tell him if that happened, if not mortimer himself, but the thought also struck him that he might not be further informed of it. not after the chaos he erupted into during the meeting. 

he listened to mortimer seem to explain his side of the situation, standing still long enough to consider his words. 

eden had never liked henry. something always just ticked him off about the man, and he never cared to pay too much attention to it. he wasn't the kind to analyze his relationships with people in depths that weren't worth the trouble going over, and if he simply didn't like the way someone looked, talked, or just stood there, then he didn’t like them, and that was that. but the moment henry confessed eden knew that it was god that had been warning him about henry. 

     ❛❛ yea, well, ya better get used t' it. ❜❜     he finally said.    ❛❛ if we run into him again, you're gonna have t' see his face and recognize him as a traitor. if ya don't, ya might end up gettin' shot again, ❜❜     he paused.     ❛❛ and this time not by me. ❜❜

That was … unexpected.

Levi wished everything could be whisked under the rug with a simple handshake, he really did, but Eden had a history of making rash decisions and Levi had the rest of the team to protect. But … there had certainly been some extenuating circumstances that couldn’t be ignored and if any allowances were to be made, well, now seemed to be the time to make them. And at least Eden was predictable. It was his patriotism that both made him a valuable asset to the mission and made him lash out so violently. How very American. 

Still. Eden’s heart was in the right place, and his rage had certainly been directed appropriately, but it was the lack of control that was the tricky part. Lack of control, to a certain extent, Levi could deal with, especially given the situation at hand. They couldn’t afford to lose another team member and despite Eden’s recklessness, he was one of them—one of the good guys.

Levi grasped Eden’s hand and shook it firmly.

“A lot of shit went down in there that I think a lot of us regret. Don’t let it happen again.” The threat hung in the air, but Levi’s shoulders had lost that antagonistic stiffness. 

          he grinned when levi shook his hand. he remembered doing the same thing with his uncle; both of them had been at each other's throats for a while. eden purposely had a horrendously wrong order carried out, threw him into a cage of feral wolves with the buyers, and he returned the favor by having eden endure some torture lessons. they'd picked him off the street and kept him tied to a chair for ten hours, a few of which he was unconscious during. 

he dropped his hand, fixed his cuff, and paused as he was about to turn away. he knew levi had just told him not to let it happen again, but an uplifting comment never hurt anyone.      ❛❛ oh, and next time ya think you're gonna put me down, ❜❜      he said, tone warning of the oncoming 'good humor' that was known to him in the least appropriate situations.    ❛❛ at least use the knives. it'll send me off on a good high. ❜❜

once again ignoring the consequence. everything was so immediate for eden.  he lived moment by moment, not looking back or forward. she supposed there was no use trying to sway him. instead, she’d opt for another tactic. “hmm,” she mused softly, “you’re very smart eden. and you’re right id o know everyone’s chances of survival,” she replied, a smile donning her face which was as genuine and true as any he’d seen her wear before, “you are truly a source of insight.” 

she nods. her posture tense but poised. this is an interrogation, she makes no effort to hide that but she takes care to be the picture of civility and grace.  her tone unassuming, she continues to unravel his thinking, just as thursday had done to her, “ah, so your intention in the moment was only to maim. but you didn’t think of how those injuries could jeopardize their lives in the future.” she didn’t think eden was so tuned in to future consequences, “and what makes you think that henry would be willing or even able to provide us all the necessary information before dying?”

“that certainly seemed to be evident last night.” being shot by a teammate seemed like a valid reason to be furious at them. she could be throwing things at him and swearing at him and no one would blame her. and despite a deep annoyance of having to deal with her leg, she also could understand where eden was coming from. at least her guesses on why he did it. so as he stood in the doorway she hadn’t given much thought to go with her anger in response to him. “nahh it’s not that bad.” she said shrugging. “i mean, no ideal but i can shoot all the same. i’ve worked on far worse, i’ll be fine.” the assassin shrugged. 

@trcve

Having gotten back to the hotel, the first order of business had been putting trousers on. It had been a particularly difficult endeavor with the bulky bandages strapped around his thigh, but he’d managed, triumphantly.

The second order of business had been finding Eden. Mortimer liked to think he knew his team mates fairly well – (with the exception of knowing that one of them had been a double agent, but then again, he had been the first to suggest it, which he wasn’t actually proud of) – and if anybody had gone to try chase Henry, it would be Eden. So his was the first room that Mortimer stopped at.

“Which direction did Henry go in, do you know?” A typical Mortimer Redford greeting: no hello, no mention of the bullet wound, just business. “If we have a rough idea of where he might have gone, I can try to pinpoint any phone-calls he might have made.”

         he supposed he could take this as a favor for a favor. eden didn't fuss about being shot, mortimer doesn't even try to acknowledge it. this made a lot more sense to eden, it was how he was used to things being. 

he took one look at mortimer's thigh, then his eyes traveled back up.      ❛❛  hold on. ❜❜     he left the door open for mortimer, then traveled to his workspace and grabbed the finished product of mortimer's customized gun. it was lighter than any other pistol he'd made before, smooth, and he fit as much capacity as he could. it was no small feat on eden’s behalf, he spent hours bent over his station working on it, but he knew it’d be infinitely useful to its owner if he actually used it.

    ❛❛ here, ❜❜     he said, handing mortimer a small pelican case which held the weapon inside along with cases of ammunition.     ❛❛ ya need a refill, ya come t' see me. caps are specialized too. ❜❜     he explained as he closed the door, wanting to keep the conversation out of any wandering ears. once closed, he walked further inside.    ❛❛ i saw him turn left onto the street when i got t' the lobby, by the time i was outside he was turnin' the corner. fucker slipped away when he reached the nikitskiy pereulok, headin’ south. ❜❜