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like his inability to be what you need but still wanting you in his life. 

you put it

best.

"You’re not the girl I’m going to feel like I was an idiot about because I’m not going to let you leave again."

haven’t seen you , haven’t seen anyone .

it’s been months.. and also years... and I’ve never been quite able to shake it as much as I’ve tried.

Well. that’s a lie. I’ve never tried.

But who could. who would want to after such highly pigmented romance and moments and memories

The most I’ve tried: filling my time with the dull, shallow and docile who could never really understand anything remarkable about this life - as they were only able to look into themselves . trying hard.. filling a punch card of what they thought they should be or represent.

they’ve never seen the world like us .

my shadowed soul with a mossy gaze, you’ve captured everything I’ve wanted and needed by being a mesh of individuals throughout my years. nothing could make my heart race faster - but I need to leave it. Until it’s ready, which I know it’s not.