⭐️🏝(⌒‐⌒)🏝⭐️

you do not need to.

u dont have to be loyal to evil even if you have been up until this point. you can turn away from them, God cares abt the fact that you were being deceived. he's not the meanie they've made him out to be. they know He shows even them mercy and grace and they turn around and convince others that the mercy and grace they themselves receive- doesn't exist.

cuz thats what evil does. evil doesnt have true power. it manipulates and utilizes unnatural things that dont belong amongst humanity to deceive and confuse and manipulate and produce false correlations that seem true but are lies. and they condition the minds of the ones they r not doing that to so they r skeptical and suspicious of the ways that survivors of their torment and abuse speak and words they use. they teach people to villify those that seem "off" because they dont want people being sympathetic and wondering what happened to tht person cause then there is "who did what happened" n thats too close to finding out whats really going on which means trouble for them continuing their depraved stuff they got going on. if they cant turn u into "the perfect victim" then they get the world to turn on you. and they also plant decoys of their own to pretend and mimic survivors so when it comes out they were not authentic, it casts shadows of doubt on those who are. theres a lot of moving parts and pieces. its really that deep, n that dark.

but not hopeless.

i dont even wanna get set up with medical stuff here, i not gonna assume they dont hav their own messed uppedness here. a bunch of very wealthy and well connected cult people here, n known corrupt police, n high reports of trafficking n predator networks.. n traffickers always make sure to have healthcare system people on their roster, in their pockets in places they operate significantly. so yeah im just like. so wary.

when u get shown the side of the world where police help the bad guys do their bad things, doctors make you sick, parents either prey on you or pimp you and pride themselves on the fact they arent doing what the ones they pimp you out to r doing....when u get shown what lies beyond the faccades. its like.

no thank you.

no thank you.

then when all the attempts to trap me again, and kill me wasnt working it went to trying to get me back to where i was since they couldnt pimp me out to someone new

they had my old captor purposely not let me know of legal mail they received on my behalf until things got to a point it was a pressing issue, and had the healthcare system in that state refuse to give me documentation i needed for legal purposes unless i saw them in person which made absolutely no sense. so many working together and pretending like they dont know whats going on and think they r getting one over on you bc they think their daddy satan is all powerful cause of all his tricks and manipulations they see work in the world and they narcissitically refuse to fathom that even satan kneels to God's will.

anyway they arranged a flight for me even knowing i was so sick and stressed out from being overworked and forced to take on so much with extreme struggles n illnesses and im crying begging to be able to rest and no one letting me and threatening me to traumatizing extents, i was at the gate at the airport barely able to walk and God saved me

God saved me from being brought back to that place

all along the way out people kept trying to take me to hospital or get me "looked at" by medical teams,, i kept say no thank you no thank you. if they r in on it to it wouldnt have went well for me if i went and if they arent in on it, im not sick in some natural way. i am being tortured and tormented by evil beings, experimenting and torturing me to purposely cause me to develop illnesses and conditions and struggles. ur pills and procedures cant help me, n it just gonna traumatize n depress me to hear of all these things that r wrong n all the "i dont knows" and treating me like a circus freak a medical mystery. it not a mystery to me. yall already had your years poking at me studying me feeding me pills. i not going back to those places. freaky places. no thank you. even the guy who drove me home kept trying to drive me to the hospital. they feign concern, but they know. they say im so fun to do bad things to, and treat me like im stupid cause they think relentless forgiveness and trusting even after being deceived is weakness. they dont understand the strength in love. well Love put caution in my heart not fear just "mmmm...no. no thank you" feeling. enough to keep movin on. the guy said some things during the ride that made it seem he had some kinda interest in me. then he start asking me like 1000 questions like interrogating me like a demon trynna find out my identity. at the end of the ride the light in the car turned on and he turned around and looked at me, and his eyes lit up and then suddenly he abruptly stop saying what he was saying and he quickly snapped his head around almost like God didnt let him look at me with hungry eyes, didnt even let him continue to gaze upon me with whatever was in his heart. and i got out and went inside.

i cried. i said i didnt want to go. i was being forced to. i was trying to be positive about it but had several mental and bodily breakdowns on the way. my body was screaming my brain was crying, they didnt wanna go either.

God didnt make us go.

i really really really really really didnt want to go. i was sit at the gate looking outside like id rather die. id rather be dead then go back. suddenly things felt lifeless and more disturbing than i ever felt before. i felt so sick in a way i never have before and i been sick all my life. i knew something bad and crazy would happen if i went, i knew if i even crossed that threshold i wouldnt be me anymore. depravity waiting to consume me. He didn't just rescue me from the belly of the beast, He didnt let the beast eat me. disoriented and in pain and confused, i walked out of there.

i looked around me and i saw people, i felt the monsters, and yet i walked out like a red carpet was laid out for me in the form of God's hand (for it is so big) and he escorted me out of there. and didnt let the other monsters who wanted to take advantage of me in vulnerable state, even hold their gaze on me.

but God is protecting your heart and guiding your mind to go about things/respond in a way that is just moving on, going with the flow energy

and you respond back just simply responding, not with any tactics just. moving on. and responding back without referencing what was before. and then she responds back with an upset and surprised tone because shes surprised that she didnt rile you up with that or trigger you so badly that those illnesses she forced into you by abusing you over time flare up and potentially kill you.

its strange when u get in trouble for not being as sick as your parents want you to be and try to make you. no matter that thats been your life for decades, it nevr gets any easier or less shocking or traumatic. its an impossible thing to survive but ur still alive because God loves you

and demons try to force this twisted mentality into you that you're only surviving to continue to be used as their personal torture toy and trying to poison my mind against God because they want me to resent living because that will make them trying to kill me easier.

some people get relief from their suffering in this life

and others. others r being tortured by an evil so great that they hav to wait for God to come and deal with it. oh they r having their fun now, ripping me to shreds

im so tired of seeing all these think pieces or videos abt parents being awful to their kids, framed in a way as if this is NEW. every 5 years its like :O children get abused???????! and its freaking, annoying man

more than annoying but im trying to be tame

collective amnesia? well when you consider so much of which influences and manipulates the world yeah. its like, the more you learn that what you thought was to blame isnt actually the whole story....someone to blame becomes less of a solution. you cant just point the finger and then punish or do away with what your finger is pointing at. i am trying to do what i can and grow in the ways that i can but there is no making this world a better place or fixing whats wrong. there is SO MUCH wrong, much more than the average person is aware of, considers, or can even handle fathoming. no person can fix this, only God truly

i try to work on not blaming not judging but its hard when you're constantly being attacked with lies and ur trying so much to keep things straight so you dont get blown down yet another wrong path. but then it feels like you are weilding the truth like a weapon, and using it to hurt your enemies and then thats apparently wrong because you are supposed to be kind even unto your enemies but then i see all these things about being a warrior and this is how you properly fight but then its, you're wrong for fighting you're just succumbing to the puppetry that wants everyone to be against each other, but then not everyone is on the same team

i

i am so tired

if you r kind to your enemies you end up aiding their agenda to cause harm

if you're firm n forceful like, "stop being so weak!" type then you r being too harsh too wrong

if you are quiet, you r wrong for not speaking up more

if you speak up more you r wrong for not being quiet enough

from the pain of existing