Trauma & Kink

32 • Trauma survivor

In a 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) relationship

I created this blog to talk about healthy kink and what it means to me as a trauma survivor

My goal is to help other survivors feel less alone

I host a kink-friendly trauma server. Message me for a link (18+ only)

About This Blog:

Focus: Trauma-informed kink, safety, and personal reflections

I do not post NSFW images or erotica, but some posts may include mature or kink-related discussions

Minors, please do not follow

Ask Guidelines:

✅ Asks open • Anon on

❌ Hateful or inappropriate asks will be ignored

Public vs. Private: Non-anon asks will be answered privately unless you say it’s okay to post

I’m happy to tag posts, just send an ask if there’s something you need tagged!

Boundaries & Consent:

I may post about aspects of my relationship that aren’t for everyone and that’s okay!

Everything I share is safe, consensual, and wanted. I’m happy, loved, and careful.

Sometimes a more useful question “Is this harming me?”

Consent changes everything.

Healing is about safety, consent, and choice. Not about erasing parts of yourself to make others comfortable.

For some people, kink becomes a way to reclaim agency, control, or intensity on their own terms. That doesn’t make you broken. It means you’re finding ways to survive and feel alive.

Thoughts, fantasies, and kinks are not contracts. They are not confessions. They do not mean you are secretly asking for harm.

Fantasy and reality are not the same thing. Choice, consent, and safety are what separate kink from harm. The presence of one does not justify the other.

The body can seek control, choice, and agency in ways the mind didn’t get to have before. That doesn’t rewrite the past. It doesn’t turn harm into consent.

Desire does not make you shameful. Wanting intensity, power, or sensation does not mean something is wrong with you. Kink is not a moral failure.

Specifically the ‘feminist’ anti-kink people. I don’t know but to me, feminism is about choice. You don’t have to participate in kink but I can make the choice to. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Red Flags:

They pressure you to do something you’ve already said no to.

They dismiss or mock safe words, or tell you “we won’t need them.”

They make you feel guilty for needing reassurance or aftercare.

They refuse to discuss risks, limits, or boundaries.

They put their pressure or control above your safety.

Green Flags:

They bring up negotiation themselves and make sure you feel heard.

They take safe words seriously, even outside of play.

They respect “no” the first time you say it with no guilt-tripping, no arguments.

They listen without defensiveness. If you bring up discomfort, they don’t argue or twist it back on you. They listen and take it seriously.

They’re open to pausing. If something feels off, they’re willing to slow down or stop instead of pushing forward.