trashynoona

Imagine opening your wardrobe, for that spring cleaning you ought to have done ages ago. As you sort through your hundredth cute outfit into the ‘keep’, ‘donate’ and ‘throw’ pile, you notice a box of clothes that you haven’t seen in awhile.

The old high school tshirt you had borrowed the first time you slept over at his place. The dress shirt you picked out for a formal event. The jumper you casually claimed ownership of. The flannel that you gladly accepted when he was clearing his wardrobe. These are his clothes. No, these WERE his clothes. You sigh. These clothes were no longer just clothes, they’re memory agents; each item carrying a very vivid memory you shared with him. They used to be special, but not anymore. In fact, they have been packed away such a long time ago that you had absolutely forgotten about their existence.

Hold on, why do you still have them if you had broken up ages ago? Ah right, Kim, your best friend, had forced me to do a wardrobe clean up after you hung around your room moving around for an unhealthy extended amount of time. You could not bear to part with all his belongings, so you ended up making a deal with Kim; to throw everything, except his clothes. You smile at that memory. It was a sight to remember, ‘no no I need this, please!’ You begged Kim while snot carelessly dripped onto the tip of your lip. Kim carelessly threw every thing that he had left at your place into a black trash bag. She would never understand, she did not have access to the memory bubbles these item/ held.

You picked up the old tshirt from the box. It smelled staled, as it should be.

‘Would you... perhaps... like to stay over tonight?’ Taehyung avoided your eyes as he shyly traced squiggly lines on your palm.

It was the first week since you guys have started dating. You became acquainted with Taehyung after you guys bonded over your love for melted ice cream when you offered to share your table with him in your university’s cafeteria. It was the first time Taehyung had invited you over to his place since you became official.

‘I’d love to. But... I have nothing to wear...’ you timidly replied.

‘Oh oh don’t worry! You can wear my high school tshirt! It’s super worn in and super comfy! I promise you’d like it!!!’ Taehyung was rambling as he jumped out of the sofa and into his bedroom.

‘Here!’ He showed you his washed out tshirt with a triumphant glee.

You guys took turns to wash up in the bathroom. You fumbled around with Taehyung’s tshirt. The fabric was made out of white cotton and the fact that it has been so worn it makes it very translucent. You were not used to wearing a bra to sleep, but you did not wanted to appear to brazen. But what’s the point of putting on a bra if it’s going to come off anyway? You made your decision and headed out of the bathroom.

Tae was fidgeting at the edge of his bed when your eyes met. Placing his hand on the bed for support, Tae struggled to place his eyes.

‘Is this... too much?’ You asked.

‘NO. No. Not at all.’ Tae responded as he shot out of bed.

‘You look beautifuller than I ever will in this tshirt.’ He muttered as he closed the gap between you.

That was the first night you had spent with your new boyfriend, Tae. Subsequently, it became a no brained for you to pick up the washed out high school tshirt whenever you stay over at his place. It always had an effect on Tae, it turns him into a very horny, very helpless puppy.

It was your faculty’s mid year formal and you’ve decided to attend as a couple. The only problem was that Tae was more of a ‘street fashion kinda guy’ as he described himself. His only white dress shirt has turned yellow and no way were you going to allow him to wear that garbage out.

You loved Tae, except when it came to shopping. Your boyfriend was the fussiest shopper ever. Too narrow, too pale, too baggy. In your eyes, it seemed like Tae was nitpicking every outfit he had tried on. By the 15th outfit, you lost it.

‘Kim Taehyung. Are you even taking this seriously?! Just tell me if you’d rather wear your yellow wash cloth. I’ve had enough!’ You half yelled as Tae came out of the dressing room in a pale lilac shirt, coupled with a deep purple suit.

‘Babe, I just want to look good for you.’ Tae pouted. Your boyfriend had that effect on you. For some reason, he looked like a five-year-old child who have just broken his favourite toy whenever he was down. How could you stay mad at him?

‘Sweetie, you look good in everything. In fact, I don’t even think I’d mind that much if you went in that washcloth of yours as long as you’re with me!’ You comforted the doe-eyed man.

‘Aw babe. I know you’d love me a little less if I had turned up in that washcloth. I actually really like this set, shall we?’ The boxy grin was back, as you marvel at your blessing for having Tae as your boyfriend.

In the end, you decided to pay for the lilac dress shirt to commemorate what you decided was your first formal event together. Your cheeky boyfriend on the other hand, announced to the world that it was a cover up to commemorate the first time you got mad at him.

In time to come, you’d realise Tae was setting you off more than you expected. You loved him, but you could not understand how could a grown man be so silly and happy-go-lucky all the time.

This leads you to the jumper. It was your first winter together and it was about 6 months into your relationship. You had just stormed off from your boyfriend’s place for a reason you can no longer recall.

Just as Tae thought you might be gone for good, he heard a little knock on the door, to the rhythm you have both came up with.

‘Babe?’ Tae muttered as he rushed to the door.

‘There’s a snow storm, I can’t leave. But I’m still mad at you!’ You push Tae aside as you invite yourself into the warm room.

Some how, Tae managed to appease you and you guys had the best make up sex that night. You had Tae’s jumper on as he licked your pussy just the way you liked it.

‘Do the Super Sonic babe’ you moaned as you grabbed a bunch of your boyfriend’s hair.

‘At your command mam.’ Tae muttered as he worked his way skilfully around your clit.

‘Super Sonic’ was a silly name Tae had invented for the technique that he knew would drive you crazy. As the name suggests, he had a mad way of moving his tongue at a high speed you could not imagine yourself. Perhaps it was the fact that he was highly skilled with the saxophone that trained his mouth muscle; but this boy can go on forever. The finale to ‘Super Sonic’ is a mind blowing orgasm that ends with you squirting all over.

‘I love you, so much , babe.’ Tae confessed for the first time as your wetness coated his face.

‘I love you too Tae.’ You said as you wiped the mixture of bodily fluid off your boyfriend‘s face.

You sigh as you picked up the last item in the box. The flannel shirt. It was the shirt that contained the most memories. It was Tae’s favourite shirt, so, it was naturally yours too.

Taehyung had worn the flannel on the day you first met and chatted over an hour. You had a tutorial to attend but you did not have the heart to interrupt the handsome stranger who was going on and on passionately about his love for melted vanilla ice cream.

The truth was, you were so busy chatting with Kim that you had forgotten to eat your ice cream. You never had a particular liking for melted ice cream but you went with it anyway, just because.

Tae wore the same flannel on your first date. The boy had planned to bring you to the carnival. Except, in typical taehyung fashion, he had forgotten to check for the weather forecast. You were actually glad that it rained, for you have acrophobia. You literally have to pop medically prescribed sleeping pills whenever you had to fly. But you went with it anyway, just because.

Tae turned up in the same flannel shirt the first time he met your family. You brought him around your childhood home for a tour when he came across a photo of you and a familiar stranger as children.

‘Babe you’ve never told me you have a brother?’ Tae asked.

‘Oh.. erm, he lives faraway and doesn’t come back often anymore.’ You answered as you hurriedly pushed Tae onwards. The truth is, your big brother had killed himself several years ago. It had taken away a part of your family, but you decided it was not time to tell your boyfriend the truth, just because.

Coincidentally, Tae was also wearing the same flannel shirt the day you guys decided to split for good. It was true that you could not stand how childish and flighty Tae could be. But Tae was the one who insisted on the break up.

‘It’s like I can never truly get to you. Do you even trust me?’ Was one of the last things you could remember Tae saying to you.

It was true, to an extent. It’s not that you could not trust Tae, but rather, you simply could not trust yourself. After the death of your dear brother, you have feared opening up to new people. You were terrified that they too, would leave.

You wish you had fought for Tae to stay. But you could not. The only thing you did was muster the courage to ask for that flannel shirt. The flannel that started it all and ended it all.

You decided to place all of taehyung’s clothes into the ‘throw’ pile, for it was just too painful to imagine somebody else wearing his clothes; unaware of the stories that came with it.

It has been over a year since Taehyung and you had broken up. You did not keep in contact since and decided perhaps it was time to casually check out his profile. Tae was looking very handsome and cheeky as usual. He was wearing a new flannel shirt with the Gucci shoulder bag that you have bought for him for your first and only one year anniversary. You smile to yourself and wondered if Tae still think of you whenever he used the bag, or perhaps, it is simply a bag to him now, a meaningless, overpriced bag. You will never know.

Just then, a notification came in and blocked your view of your ex boyfriend.

‘Heyyyy, just wanted to confirmed if we’re still on for drinks tonight?’ - Jin.

Yes, you have moved on. Memories of taehyung no longer leave you in tears and despair. You were regretful that you never found the courage to open up to taehyung but you figured, these things are not meant to be forced. Perhaps you had never found that courage because Tae was never the one to be. At one point, both Tae and you were probably convinced that you were meant to be. Unfortunately, time has proven otherwise. You are open to going on dates now. You are not sure if you will ever find the strength to break down all your walls, however, in the meantime, no harm trying you suppose.

Dating Seo Eun Kwang

- I think our dear leader-nim would try very hard to appear to be the ‘oppa you can lean on’

- But Eun Kwang being Eun Kwang, he is bound to mess up. 

- He’ll plan out an entire day of fun date activities only to realise that the cafe he wanted to bring you to is close on Sundays. Or that he forgot to check the weather forecast and it turned out to be pouring the entire day...

- EK would be super annoyed with himself for being such a dork, and apologises to you for ruining the date.

- But obviously you didn’t fall for EK for being the meticulous alpha male... you felt for his selflessness and bright personality.

- So you give him a huge hug and tell him you don’t give a shit about the date not going as planned, because all that mattered was you were spending time with him. *Cues EK turning red af*

-As time goes by, EK would be a lot more comfortable with being himself in front of you.

-He’ll always be doing his cringey aegyo (think his fly aegyo) and you’ll think its so gross but adorable at the same time.

-Lots of laughter. I mean LOTS. Like he’ll quietly fart in the quilt and as you moved the fart starts seeping through and you’ll be like ‘DID YOU SERIOUSLY FART IN THE QUILT AND NOT SAY ANYTHING SEO EUN KWANG’

- And he’ll break out laughter like crazy trying to explain himself, and you’ll end up laughing too because he’s just such a massive dork. He’ll be like ‘ok ok, you fart in the quilt while I hide in the quilt okay??’ 

Dating Lee Min Hyuk

- Dating Minhyuk will be like dating a real life prince charming

-I reckon MH is quite a people pleaser, so pleasing his girl comes like second nature to him

-Imagine randomly buying you flowers, or surprising you at work/ in school with a healthy lunch box he had packed for you

-MH will obviously be super popular amongst the ladies, but you don’t have to worry a thing because MH would be super loyal and humble.

-I’d imagine he’ll like the sweet innocent damsel sort who doesn’t really need a lavish lifestyle, because I read somewhere that MH is super humble.

- Sex with MH will be craaaaazy.

- Firstly, MH is a sportsman, so his stamina would be over the top.

- Secondly, HAVE YOU SEEN MINHYUK?!

- Thirdly, because he is a pleaser, he will make sure his lady goes to heaven and back before he even thinks about his own needs.

- Dates with MH will probably involve some sports, like, idk couple yoga, couple boxing? (I’m the least sporty person, soz.)

- But at the same time I can imagine MH and his date going to lots of cafe, just having some coffee and pastries.

- MH will be rude af, I mean, have you seen the dude? He has the face of an angel and the body of a sexy devil. RIP.

- All in all, dating MH would pretty much be a living fairytale okay. haha.

Dating Lee Chang Sub

- I’d imagine dating CS will start from being besties *Cough Chorong*

- Like you guys would be super close, always being a shoulder to lean on for the other

- And just suddenly, the stars would align and suddenly both of you start feeling nervous in front of each other.

- Because of that, CS would start distancing himself, because he won’t know what to do with the feelings he have for his best friend.

- It would make you super sad because well, you thought perhaps he’s avoiding you because he knows about your feelings for him, and felt disgusted.

- So one day, you would drunk dial him and he’ll come to your rescue immediately.

- ‘Changsubbie, am I so disgusting that you’re distancing yourself from me?’ You’ll slur as you grab CS by his face while sobbing.

- ‘What are you talking about? You’re drunk’. 

- ‘Well I’m sorry i fell for my best friend okay!!!’ You’d whine.

- and bammmmm. 

- I’d imagine CS to be a very mature and stable lover, despite his child-like personality.

- CS is gonna be somebody who’s super reliable. 

- Dates with CS would generally be chilling at home, snuggled up with movies and takeouts.

- Just like how you both would usually hangout, but with intimacy. hehe.

- Occasionally CS would do something super sweet that blows your mind.

- Perhaps you’re having a hard time in school/work, so he organises a ‘princess day’ where he’s pretty much your slave for the day. Think bubble bath, champagne, massage, soothing singing.

Dating Im Hyunsik

- I’d imagine Hyunsik to be a very introspective lover

- He’ll probably go for a more extroverted, outgoing girl

- I think he’s pretty liberal, so he’ll love it if the girl speaks her mind or takes initiatives

- Honestly, I think Hani is such a wonderful match for our Hyunsikkie.

-He’ll definitely appreciate if the girl is musically inclined too.

- Suddenly Melodies would realise that all of HS songs are fluffy love songs

- HS would be smiling a lot, just lotsa fluff and warmth in his heart, lotsa eyesmile.

- HS’ love language would probably through actions. While he may not be the most expressive in words, he shows his love through his music and thoughtful actions.

- I’d imagine he’ll be like, you’ve worked hard, let’s go on that Europe backpacking trip you have been thinking of! And actually already had done research on it by then.

- The boys would always tease HS and you about how you actually managed to get him out of the music room and date.

-Ilhoon might be a little bitter at first as his beloved Hyung’s attention would’ve gone to you. 

-But he’ll be cool once he knows how much you and HS are good for each other

- HS can be quite a dork sometimes, he might do something really silly like wrapping himself up as a gift and getting the boys to deliver him to you.

- And obviously, you’re gonna melt with his eyesmile the moment he pops out of the box!!!

Dating Peniel

- You’ll most definitely have to be able to converse in English

- TBH, I think Peniel is the hardest to tell, he’s so fluffy and innocent... but he writes lyrics like ‘this is not a booty call’ or ‘ So what if I drink and smoke etc’ so I don’t know man...

- But I guess one thing’s for sure, he’ll like somebody who’s open-minded and up to try new stuff.

- Peniel seems pretty family oriented, so he will probably only be sure of the girl if his family likes you.

- Trips back to the US whenever possible.

- He’ll bring you to all the places he loved growing up.

- You guys would sit by a park bench, and Peniel would share about his thoughts and dreams as he was growing up.

- I’d imagine Peniel to be a massive inner softie, like he wouldn’t commit easily, but once he finds a girl he trust, he would melt into her embrace

- Sharing all his inner fears and thoughts.

- You’ll probably end up hanging out with Sungjae quite a bit, because that dude knows no boundaries, lol.

Dating Jung Ilhoon

- Damnnn Ilhoon is a complicated man, he’s soft, he’s a gangsta, he’s also really wise.

-He’ll probably like a classy well read girl who also knows how to have fun

- Similar to Eunkwang, hoonie will try to be the oppa you can rely on

- but once in awhile, hoonie will turn into the cute baby brother who’s excited about everything

- I reckon hoonie is pretty mature, so he might prefer older women.

- Dates with hoonie will probably involve going to museums and high end shopping, lol.

- He’ll probably fall for a girl who’s actually smarter than he is or holds her stand well; he’ll like intellectual debates

- Hoonie will be like ‘Do you know about Plato...’ and you’ll be like ‘Well yeah, but Hegal also said...’

- I’d imagine hoonie to be a low key snuggle monster, as much as he says he doesn’t like skinship, he’ll love to soak in your warmth while reading.

- probably enjoys being rude af just to drive you nuts.

- you’ll love his aegyo, and he’ll insist that all the aegyo in ilhoon is dead.

- I’d imagine you guys would’ve met while in a museum or a play, because hoonie’s all about classsss aye?

- Hoonie cares a lot about his family too, so he’ll try super hard to make sure his family loves you.

- You definitely have to be a dog person too.

- Oh gosh I love hoonie so much. lollol.

- But I think he definitely needs somebody to keep his ego in check, as he can go a little overboard sometimes. 

- Definitely needs a girl who’s independent, as our man needs to work and have a freedom of expression yow.

- Unlike hyunsik, hoonie won’t write so many songs about you, he’ll continue to write about heartbreaks and stuff, and you’ll be like ‘why don’t I have a sweet song like how hyunsik oppa do for his girl?!’

- And when you least expect it, Ilhoon would have a super chic song dedicated to you, with secret hidden message written into it that you’ll get immediately. Maybe something like ‘We may not agree who’s the best philosopher on Earth but it ain’t no matter when my philosophy is you.’

Dating Yook Sungjae

- Omg dating this handsome idiot will be like part time babysitting lol.

- Yook will probably tell all his hyungs about how he has found the perfect angel

- and ilhoon would be extra like, aren’t I the only angel you need? (sorry i loved it when they were close when btob just debuted. sobs)

- Yook would try to plan with Changsub and Peniel, but they’re all massive dorks so nothing would work.

- Yook would turn super red when he tries to confess to you.

- But the moment he gets over the awkwardness, he’ll turn into the biggest kid.

- Think going to amusement parks, festivals, photobooths, buffets

- And he’ll always head back to brag to his hyung about what a wonderful girl you are.

- I’d imagine he’ll like a girl who’s pretty stable and confident.

- Being the maknae, he’s probably more used to be given whatever he wants and is looked after by his hyungs.

- So he probably will like a girl whom he can rely on. 

- Yook is really humble and down to earth, I mean he’s so popular but he’s still a massive dork, so he probably appreciates if his girl isn’t too flamboyant. 

- He’ll probably invite Peniel and Changsubbie to your dates one too often, which pisses you off a bit, as much as you enjoy their company.

- I don’t think Sungjae is very romantic + pretty clueless, so he’ll probably bring you fishing really often, which bores you out sometimes.

- but everything is fine again when yook meticulously deshell the prawns for you post-fishing.

- I think sungjae can be a pretty good ‘oppa to rely on’ after awhile (refer to sungjoy guyssss)

So do you believe in soulmates? Because I do, and I’ve always believed that there is more than one soulmate out there for each of us. In fact, a part of me believes that my ex-boyfriends were my soulmates at one point in my life. BUT, recently, I began talking to a guy online, and I swear this is the most bizarre occurance that I have no idea how to make sense of? It feels like I have known him for more than a lifetime? Like at the end of the day of speaking to him, an entire lifetime spent with him pretty much just flashed past? like perhaps he is THE one?! But I have never believed in the one since I was perhaps like 14? 

If you thought that was bizarre, that isn’t even the highlight. The thing is, a few months back, I had a dream of a man; I had no idea who he is. But I woke up feeling like I was in love, with literally a man of my dreams. I had no idea who he was, he wasn’t an idol, or a friend or somebody I actually know. And yet studies have shown that anyone you see in your dreams are people you have crossed path with, so I just kinda put a pin on it and moved on. I mean, what else could I do right? Thennnnn, one day before I started speaking to this guy, I dreamt of this familiar stranger again. Still, I had no freaking idea who he is and I woke up feeling strange. But after I spoke to this guy, things kinda clicked. I don’t remember exactly how does the guy from my dream looked like. But they do have similar vague resemblance. The scruffy black hair, smooth complexion, nasally voice. ANNNND, the feeling that both of them gave me; it was that same comforting sense of familiarity. 

So this sounds pretty much like a fairytale isn’t it? Meeting the boy of literally your dreams, and happily ever after. EXECPT, he is a pilot with the military and works extremely irregular and massive long hours. In fact, he have actually already cancelled like two dates due to work. It’s miserable as fuck. To make things worse, we are pretty much racing against the clock as I will be leaving the country soon to head back to uni. So, there is an actual chance that I have met my soulmate but may be missing it out because of time. The romantic side of me isn’t afraid, because I feel like this isn’t the end to us? But the realistic part of me is crying. I’m losing the man of my dreams, and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing I can do about it. 

yoon jisung: "guide to being a hip mom"

ha sungwoon: "grow taller fast!! (100% GUARANTEED)"

hwang minhyun: "texting 101: asking out my crush gone wrong"

ong seongwoo: "IT creepy balloon prank on my roommates"

kim jaehwan: "my kpop debut: how i became the main vocal, main dancer, and main rapper of a kpop group??”

kang daniel: "workout secrets: tips, tricks & hacks to getting a summer six-pack"

park jihoon: "storytime: how i created a career for myself out of a wink"

park woojin: "inspirational vid: moving on from the past"

bae jinyoung: "makeup tutorial: contour your way to a smaller face!"

lee daehwi: "dancing to twice in PUBLIC!”

I just wanted to highlight that mental illness is real. Coming from an Asian society and living in a western society, has made me realised how much more stigmatized mental illness is in Asian context.

My parents literally told me to snap out of it, and that if they were like me, they would’ve gone mad a long time ago. I just wanted to say that, please for god’s sake, don’t ever say that to someone with mental illness! We pretty much feel like we’re a piece of crap as it is already, telling me I’m not strong enough is just amplifying our beliefs.

We did not choose to be like this. We can’t help it. There’s so many factors that led us to be like this. We don’t know why is it that we have mental illness. Because trust me, all we want to do is be ‘normal’.

So if societal expectations can cut us some slack, it’ll be great. You won’t expect someone with a broken leg to run a marathon, neither should you expect someone who is eg. Depressed to be able to get out of bed Everyday.

Mental illness is not us being lazy.

Mental illness is not us being weak.

Mental illness is not us being dramatic.

Mental illness is not us procrastinating.

Mental illness is not intentional.

Mental illness is real.

And it is about time we wake up and realise that these silent screams are real.

Doctors and Therapists alone can’t help us, we need the society to understand and acknowledge that it is real and be more empathetic about it!

It was a warm summer night when I first met him.

‘Sleepless night?’

The beautiful stranger asked as he began slurping up his ramyun.

‘Yeah... you?’ You asked.

‘Same... late night hunger pangs...’ he raised his noodle cup to gesture.

He was a beautiful stranger. He has a face with gentle features; you’d like to liken his features to the gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar.

‘I notice you come here pretty often?’ The stranger’s words nudge me out of my daze.

‘Hmm? Yeah. Haven’t been sleeping too well, and I generally take aimless strolls when I can’t get to bed. Somehow, I tend to end up here...’ I quietly laughed at my own insomnic woes as I wondered why am I even explaining any of these to the stranger.

‘I see... well my strolls are a lot more with an end goal in mind. To fill my tummy before I head to bed. I’m sewoon by the way.’ He said as he took a sip of his banana milk.

‘Why don’t you just stock up your fridge with food if you tend to get hungry at some ungodly hour?’ I asked as I sipped on my strawberry milk.

‘I don’t know, there’s something poetic about taking a nightly stroll to the convenience stall I guess. Some fresh air probably helps too.’ Sewoon replied as he casually stretched out his legs and stared into the dark soulless sky.

‘I guess it does help clear your head a bit with late night strolls... oh, and I’m Eunji by the way.’ I turned to introduce yourself and found myself staring at the beautiful stranger. He has his eyes shut as he quietly hummed a song to himself in this still summer night.

There was something enchanting about this stranger. He was calm and romantic; he saw the beauty in things that I fail to see. While he took these strolls with an intention to enjoy the night air, you pretty much had to force yourself to take these strolls before your head exploded with all the useless late night thoughts. You have always been a panicky person by nature, it felt comforting next to someone who felt like serenity.

‘Well it’s getting pretty late, I should get going.’ I stood up from the edge of the pavement and dusted my pajamas pants.

‘It was nice to have finally spoken to you, Eunji. I hope I’ll see you around?’ He smiled as he looked up at me from below.

‘You probably will if you continue with your late night supper regiment.’ I attempted to appear as unflustered as possible before heading back towards the direction I came from.

Sewoon smiled at himself. He had noticed you for awhile now. It was hard not to have noticed you. Afterall, there weren’t many people patronising the convenience shop in the middle of the night. Furthermore a girl his age who’s always in some strange cutesy pajamas. Who even wears pajamas with characters like Disney princesses and snoopy in their late teens?! But there was something alluring about you. Despite dorning these cheerful cutesy pajamas, you had always worn a sullen expression, almost like you’re in pain. Unknowingly, sewoon began looking forward to seeing you. He wondered what was on your mind. Despite being calm by nature, it took him awhile to reach out to you. Afterall, you always appeared to be deep in thoughts, sewoon wasn’t sure how you would respond. However, he was glad he did reach out to you, because, he thought you had the most beautiful smile in the world.

‘Hi stranger.’ I spoke.

‘Hey there, back for your pit stop in the midst of your midnight stroll?’ Sewoon asked as he took out his earphones.

‘Unfortunately So...’ I sighed as I poked the straw into my strawberry milk.

‘Have a listen to this.’ Sewoon place one of his ear buds into my ear.

It was a recording of a soft acoustic guitar number. It was pretty much what I’d imagine sewoon to be if he was a melody.

‘What do you think?’ He asked.

‘It’s calming. It reminds me of you.’ I answered.

‘It reminds you of me? Haha, I hope that’s a good thing?’ He responded.

‘It is. You have this... I don’t know, calming disposition. It’s like as if you’re never nervous about anything. And the music you just showed me kinda reflects that, it brings a sense of ease to my heart.’ I explained.

‘I assume you liked it then?’ He asked as he took a sip from his banana milk.

I nodded.

‘Good. Because it’s a present from me to you!’ Sewoon smiled.

‘You mean you wrote it?! And why would you give it to me?’ I was pretty dumbfounded, afterall, who dedicates a hand written song to a person he barely knows?

‘Yeah... I am kinda like a struggling song writer? And to be honest, these late night walks are kinda like inspirational walks... I wrote this melody after I spoke to you the other day, it’s not perfect yet, but I don’t know, I guess I’m a little to excited to share it with you.’ Sewoon admitted sheepishly as he stroke the back of his neck.

‘I think it’s perfect this way. Since you have gifted the song to me, do I get royalties if your song gets famous?’ I teased.

‘Definitely, if that day ever comes...’ sewoon noticed the mischievous twinkle in your eye. Once again, he was enchanted by your smile.

‘What’s the title to this song?’ I asked.

‘I’ll give you the honour to name it.’ He quipped.

‘Really?! No taking back okay?!’ You were glowing like a child seeing her favourite ice cream.

‘Yes, no regrets.’ Sewoon laughed.

‘It shall be called “The boy from the convenience shop” then.’ I answered smugly.

‘I think I’m beginning to regret my decision now...’ sewoon half laughed at the name I had came up with.

‘Hey! You said no backsies!’ I gently nudged sewoon on his arm. This was the first actual physical contact we shared, and it left me strangely flustered.

‘Yes yes, I’m a man of his words. This shall officially be known as “the boy from the convenience shop” from now on.’ Sewoon was laughing.

‘Here’s to the success of “the boy from the convenience shop” !’ I raised my bottle of strawberry milk and sewoon joined me with his banana milk.

It eventually became a nightly ritual for sewoon and I to meet at the convenience stall half past 2 every night. Who ever who reached first would get the other a bottle of milk, and we would just sit by the curb and talk about anything under the sky. We talked about useless things like the shape of the milk bottles, to deeper stuff like our hopes and dreams. sewoon was incredibly easy to talk to, he has made late nights a little less dreadful.

‘You know, I really dreaded nightfall in the past...’ I shared with sewoon one day.

‘Why so?’ He asked.

‘I don’t know... the darkness kinda enlarges the emptiness of my life. Like, it scares me. What if this is it? What if, I die tomorrow and I have literally achieved nothing in this entire lifetime?’ I said.

‘Well for starters... you did name a song... that has been selected for a local competition if that helps?’ Sewoon answered quietly.

‘Oh my god?! Are you serious?! I knew “the boy from the convenience shop” was going to make it big!’ I was glowing again as I reached out to pull sewoon into a hug.

He was warm, and comforting. Just like his song. It was only after our body came into contact that I realised I had initiated skinship with sewoon. I quickly pulled back but sewoon’s arms pulled me closer and tighter.

‘Just ten more seconds Eunji ah.’ He quietly said.

The thought that sewoon appreciated my hug alone was able to push me to overdrive. It was undeniable that I obviously have some sort of crush on my night time buddy. It felt strange, almost like a dream. It seemed like I knew him but I dont at the same time. We were two strangers who’s lives had crossed path when we happened to decide to take a break at the same rest stop. will this bond still be real when day breaks? Because every time when it comes to daylight, we seem to be our own individuals, only to come back to the comfort of one another’s company at the darkest of nightfall.

Days passed and we continued with our nightly ritual.

‘Eunji ah, this is going to be the last night of our convenience store ritual. I have been shortlisted as one of the finalist for the song writing competition. If all goes well, I might be awarded a contract with a recording company.’ Sewoon spoke. He sounded conflicted, this has been his dream all along, to be able to record his music one day. But somewhere along the way, you became part of his dream as well.

‘I’m so proud of you sewoonie! I know you’re going to smash it without a doubt! I named the song afterall!’ I spoke with bittersweet tears forming in my eyes. I knew this was all sewoon has dreamt about. But a part of me was sad to see him go. He has provided solace to my anxious heart. Somehow, he was able to calm the storm in my chest that no medicine or therapy could stop.

Sewoon pulled me in for a hug.

‘Thank you Eunji ah.’ He said as he did pulled away. Our faces were still close to one another as we quietly tried to take in as much of each other’s feature as possible. Afterall, we weren’t sure when we would see each other again.

‘Can I... Can I kiss you?’ Sewoon asked.

I nodded and he gently placed his soft lips on mine. It tasted like banana milk. It felt warm and soothing. Just like his music and personality. I knew I was going to miss him as a single tear escaped from my eye and came into contact with sewoon’s cheeks. Sewoon pushed me closer into his embrace as he deepened the kiss. His tongue gently swept along the edge of my lip as his tongue did a little dance with mine. The kiss felt poetic.

That was both sewoon’s and your first real kiss. It went away as naturally as it came. We both knew the future was uncertain. No words were needed to be exchanged. We both understood that we were in love, but we could not pursue this growing feeling we share right now.

‘I’d make sure to buy at least 10 copies when your album comes out.’ I quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

‘Make sure you thank me. I did help afterall.’ I teased.

We both laughed as we tried our best to keep our tears from falling.

6 months have passed and Sewoon did eventually emerge as the winner of the song writing competition. His album was due in 1 day, and I was ecstatic. We haven’t talked much since he had left. I wasn’t sure if he had met a better girl along the way. A girl who perhaps does not have to take late night strolls to her local convenience stall because she is too anxious to sleep. Perhaps he had taken a liking for a girl other than me, someone less broken.

I rushed to the nearest CD shop the very next day in order to purchase the 10 albums I had promised sewoon. I regretted my promise. Music albums aren’t cheap these days. Especially when music companies come up with these ‘mini albums’ which consist of about 5 songs while still charging the same price of a regular album.

I casually flipped through the photobook as I listened to sewoon’s album. He was still as handsome as ever. Possibly a little skinnier from the stress. But he still looked like serenity, like a quiet melody from an acoustic guitar. A sad smile crept onto my face as I remineinced the times we shared outside the convenience shop.

As I flipped to the acknowledgement section, I saw; ‘to the girl from the convenience stall’. It warmth my heart. Somehow, I still had a place in sewoon’s heart, and that was enough.

Another month has passed, sewoon was going to hold his first fanmeeting. I made sure to get a ticket for myself. I wasn’t sure if I would embarrass myself, we haven’t spoken in 7 months afterall. But I knew I had to go regardless. Sewoon was doing a collaboration stage with one of the up and coming female singer song writer. She was incredibly beautiful, and her voice was soft and silky. Sewoon and her looked incredible together. Perhaps they are already dating, I thought to myself.

‘Here’s all the banana milks sent to you Sewoon. Should I place them in the refrigerator for you?’ Sewoon’s manager asked as they sorted out his fan gifts.

Sewoon looked around, it was surreal to know that he has so many adoring fans who enjoy his music. To him, he was still the same kid who wrote melodies in his bedroom and took trips to the convenience shop in the middle of the night. You were still constantly in his mind. He misses the time you shared in the stale summer nights, outside an unassuming convenience shop, as two young adults, dreaming of what is to come.

‘Somebody is obviously not really your fan. Everyone knows you love banana milk and not strawberry milk....’ sewoon’s manager scoffed as he picked up the lone strawberry milk seated amongst the sea banana milks.

‘Hold on, don’t throw it away. Can I have it please?’ Sewoon picked up the strawberry milk, only to spot a little note scribbled on the bottle.

‘Milk bottles are strange. Here’s a bottle of milk from the original convenience stall ;)’

Sewoon knew immediately it was you. It warmed his heart and he knew he had to see you soon.

While on my nightly stroll to the convenience shop, I noticed a familiar humming and the faint strumming of a guitar.

‘Sewoonie?’ I called out.

‘You’re late!’ He quipped.

‘Oh my god, you’re back?!’ I half yelled as I ran towards my beautiful boy.

Word Count: 4,021

Genre: Fluff lotsa fluff, with possibility of future smut (I mean come on, look at this guy?!)

I took a deep breath, inhaling the cold air of winter. The trees are barren and the grounds were covered in snow. It has been exactly 1 year since I had broken up with the man I thought I was going to marry. We met in Spring 4 years back while in middle school. I had literally fallen for the boy when I tripped over my own shoelace during physical education class. The rest was pretty much history from then on. Somehow, along the way, as we grew older, our goals seemed so much farther apart. He was a happy-go-lucky lad while I was a perfectionist go-getter. We tried, we tried so hard to keep the relationship going, but the harder and longer we tried, the more painful it was when it fell apart.

It has been a year, and yet the feeling of being in love with this boy who is also my best friend seemed so familiar. I liken this journey to a train ride. I wished for it to be a through-train; for the boy to be my destination. But the break up had only proven that I was on a train with many stops. I had went through a massive rebound phase, I thought I had fallen in love, but at the end of the day, I was alone on a train without a known destination. Many times, I had wish to go back to the comfort of the boy; but deep down, I knew I was a child no longer, I could only go forward in this train ride, there was no brake on this ride.

I tucked my scarf tighter to my neck as I scurry to class. Despite having moved to a new city for college 2 years back, the harsh winter is still pretty much the bane of my existence. ‘Huddle close!’ I heard a couple walking past you giggling into one another’s warmth. It brought back memories to the days when I first moved to college with the boy, except this time, I am facing the winter alone. He has moved on. 

I don’t blame him nonetheless, I did cause him a lot of hurt that past one year. While he was still hopelessly waiting for me at our platform, I had moved on to a new station. By the time I realised I wanted nothing but to be back at the platform with him, the boy was no longer there. So I fearfully put on my big girl pants as I continue my train ride along. 

I am terrified of the unknown; I fear the cold without the warmth of another human. But I realised it was pointless to cling onto someone hopelessly if it was not meant to be. 

School has been pretty monotonous, I am trying my best to bury myself in my studies, perhaps this way I will be oblivious to the harsh winter in my heart. 

‘You’re coming for tonight’s party right?’ My close pal Kenta asked.

‘Do I really have to??’ I whined.

‘Duh.’ My handsome friend rolled his eyes as he shove a sandwich down his throat.

‘But its not fair! It’s so cold but I have to dress in cute skimpy outfits...’ I whined further.

‘Well... come wrapped like a dumpling then.’ He replied indifferently.

‘And be the biggest loser at the party? No thanks! I’d rather freeze to death.’ I answered.

‘It’s settled then!’ Kenta gave me a wink before running off to his class.

Damn, I was fooled once again. 

It was 8pm and I had to get ready. I picked up my phone to check the weather app. It was 3 degrees celcius. ‘Tonight is probably the death of me...’ I thought to myself. I opened my wardrobe in attempts to pick out something suitable for a party and the weather. It was no easy task, especially since I simply could not stand the cold. I settled on a woolen pullover and a cute skater skirt. I guess my body will just have to compromise. At least my torso will be warm I thought.

I arrived at the party with Kenta. The music was booming and people crowded in the dance floor. From the corner of my eyes I saw the boy, with his arms around his new girlfriend. He looked very much in love. I force a smile and dragged Kenta to the drink counter.

‘Cheers to the shit weather!’ I quipped.

‘Cheers to me getting laid tonight!’ Kenta responded.

Kenta was an interesting human. He is a massive party animal and narrowly meets the mark of a fuck boy, but he is also on the dean’s list and an awfully loyal friend. It has been a mystery to how this human exist. 

Naturally like bees are attracted to the pollen of sweet smelling flowers, girls flocked to Kenta. ‘Sorry girls, I have to ensure my bae here meets someone before I attend to my needs.’ He told the girls.

‘Fuck off Kenta! I am not planning to get laid! I didn’t even erm, shave.’ I whispered.

‘Too much information girl! Gross. But I’m sure we can find someone for you.’ Kenta half shouted to me with the booming music.

As the night went on and one too many cups of unknown alcohol, Kenta and I began obnoxiously pointing at potential mating partners for one another. 

‘Hey hey, Kenta, that girl in the dress one size too small looks like a suitable prey for you.’ I pointed out.

‘Hell nooooo. I heard she’s clingy as fuck. What about that obnoxiously loud dickhead chugging beer over there?’ Kenta teased. He knows I can’t stand being around chauvinistic dickheads for any longer than 5 minutes.

‘Yeahhhh sure.’ I laughed.

‘How about a bet. If you make out with Mr Dickhead, I will do your laundry for the rest of the year.’ Kenta proposed.

‘Including my undies?’ I asked.

‘Including your hideous granny panties gal!’ Kenta shouted as he raised his cup to me.

‘DEAL.’ I raised my cup to Kenta.

‘It’s just a kiss. I can probably just head over, pass off as a drunk slut, make out with him and walk off all within 5 minutes. Without even having to have a conversation with the dickhead.’ I snickered at Kenta’s flawed proposal. 

I took another shot before I headed towards Mr Dickhead who was soaking in all the attention from the people who just witness him beating some other dude at a beer chugging competition. I tapped Mr Dickhead on the shoulder and he turned around. He was handsome. Very handsome to be exact. In fact, there was something tender and vulnerable in his eyes. 

‘Fuck I am analysing wayyyy too much.’ I thought to myself as I grabbed the stranger by the neck and pulled him into a kiss.

The crowd cheered.

His lips are tender and plump. I moved my lips to pry open his. I had to make sure I was ‘making out’ and not just ‘a peck on his lips’. Kenta can be quite a sore loser when it comes to the fine prints. 

His tongue swiped across my lips before I could put my tongue in his mouth. ‘Classic dickheads’ I thought. Strangely, I enjoyed the way his tongue danced with mouth. His warmth was comforting, I was melting into the kiss. He pulled me closer by the waist and gently stroke the small of my back. ‘He smells much nicer than I thought he would.’ My brain was going into over drive. Time felt still. I quickly pulled away from the kiss and everything seemed to be in motion again.

‘That was very bold of you cutie.’ He smiled as his hands slipped away from the small of my back.

I missed his warmth. ‘He has a cute gummy smile and his eyes sparkled as they disappear into a smile.’ I thought to myself as I observed the stranger.

‘GIRL YOU ROCKKKKKK!’ I heard Kenta cheering as he linked arms with me and we became lost into the crowd. 

‘I can’t believe you actually did it notty girl!!’ Kenta teased.

I shot him a wink and picked up a new cup of unknown poison.

‘Now go find yourself some girl to fuck okay?’ I told Kenta.

‘Promise you’ll text me when you’re home?’ Kenta asked.

I nodded, raised my cup to him before walking over to hang around a bunch of acquaintances. I decided to stay a little longer since I was already out and the music was pretty lit. The poison in my cup pretty much took over and I was dancing and scream singing. I felt a hand ghost around my waist.

‘Hey cutie.’ The man whispered into my ears.

‘Yeah I am not interested.’I tried to walk away, only to have him grab me by my wrist.

‘Dude let go!’ I raised my voice as I tried to escape his grasp.

‘She said let go bruh.’ Somebody else was holding onto my wrist.

I squinted and tried to figure out who it was. The stroke lights and my intoxicated brain made it difficult.

‘Mr Dickhead! It’s you!!!’ I quipped.

‘I think you should be the one fucking off dude. She literally called you a dickhead.’ The man snickered.

‘It’s a term of endearment dumbass, did you not see me smooching him just now?! Do I need to show you again?!’ I yelled before falling into Mr Dickhead’s arm. Once again, I held onto his neck and brought him in for a kiss.

Time stood still once again. His warmth engulfed me. I felt safe. The security of his lips were broken when I felt someone tugging on me. It was the boy.

‘You’re drunk, let me send you home.’ He said matter-of-factly.

‘No. Go back to your girl.’ I answered coldly as I pulled Mr Dickhead away from the boy.

Without really thinking, I dragged Mr Dickhead out of the party with me. I was in no control of my emotions. Tears were spilling out of eyes and I was breaking down in front of some stranger I made out with. ‘Way to go girl’ I thought to myself.

‘Oh my god, I am so sorry. It’s just, ugh. I hate how weak I am. Ugh I...’ I was fumbling with my words.

‘It’s fine.’ Was all he said as he draped his jacket over my shoulders.

‘Why are you wearing a short skirt in such a weather even?’ He asked.

‘Because I did not want to look like a loser...’ I said between sobs.

‘Honey, you would easily still be one of the cutest girl in that party even if you came in your PJs...’ Mr Dickhead announced as he followed me along.

‘Really....?’ I sniffled.

‘Maybeeee not with all that dripping mascara and snot.’ He teased.

‘Shut up. I’m drunk, I get to be ugly!’ I whined.

‘Nobody would’ve believed you were the same girl who pulled me into an extremely sensual tongue twister just an hour ago.’ He teased again.

‘Do you have to make it so gross?!’ I tried to whack him on the chest only to have him hold me closer.

‘Shut up and just huddle up with me. You’re shivering like a hairless puppy!’ He ordered. 

I did not refuse.

The pavement was pretty much covered in snow by the time he had walked me to my apartment. Just as I was about to bid the stranger farewell, I received a notice on my trusty weather app. A hail storm was about to approach. 

‘Woah it sure is getting really cold, you should hurry upstairs snot monster.’ He quipped.

‘Erm... My weather app just announced that a hail storm is about to approach.’ I told him.

‘Well fuck... I live at the opposite end of campus... Guess I can probably try running back and pray hard my super fast reflexes will help me avoid getting struck by raining ice!’ He said in an animated manner as he cheekily jogged on the spot.

‘Do you wanna come up to my place at least until the hail clears?’ I asked.

‘My mum did tell me not to go home with strangers...’ He teased.

‘Fine, die in the hail storm then asshole!!!’ I was drunkenly offended and I threw his coat back at him.

‘Hold up feisty snot monster! I did not say I listen to my mother...!’ He half yelled as he ran along with me.

‘Just promise you won’t jump on me? I know I am pretty dashing, judging from how you threw yourself on me during the party not once but twice?’ He teased again.

Kenta was right, I could never deal with dickheads. But I have invited one home. Fuck my life.

‘Mention that again and you’re going home in the storm!’ I warned before I let the stranger into my house.

Text message from Kenta: ‘YA! ARE YOU HOME?! ITS ABOUT TO HAIL!!!’  

Me: ‘YESSSSS JUST GOT HOME THANK GOD.’

Kenta: “GOOD. THAT WAS ONE HOT KISS WITH MR DICKHEAD BTW.’

Me: ‘ERM ABOUT THAT... HE KINDA WALKED ME HOME AND I INVITED HIM UP BECAUSE I FELT BAD SINCE IT’S ABOUT TO HAIL...’

Kenta: ‘LOL YOU’RE SO GONNA FUCK MR DICKHEAD.’

‘Why did you call me Mr Dickhead?’ He asked.

‘Whaaa...t?’ I jumped and dropped my phone before I could reply Kenta.

‘In the club...? You called me Mr Dickhead? It hurts my feelings you know!’ He pouted dramatically.

‘That’s EXACTLY why you’re Mr Dickhead. Besides, didn’t you call me a snot monster!!’ I argued.

He was giggling at the expense of my annoyance. His eyes twinkled again.

‘Well snot monster... my name is...’ I cut him off before he could tell me his name.

‘Nope. I don’t need your name. You’ll become an acquaintance if we exchange names, and I am not keen of that.’ I answered.

‘So... I am suppose to call you the snot monster?’ He asked, amused.

‘Yes. I am snot monster and you are mr dickhead. And you leave the moment the hailing ends!’ I ordered.

‘You’re not a very friendly host you know that snot monster... I thought... you know... maybe we could cosy up in that bed of yours...’ He smirked as he moved closer to me.

‘DON’T YOU DARE. I HAVE A BLACK BELT IN TAEKWONDO I’M WARNING YOU!!!’ I jumped.

‘I’m kidding. Gosh. Uptight much snot monster?!’ He continue looking at me with a cheeky smile which got on my nerve. But at the same time, that cocky smirk was kinda enchanting.

‘Well help yourself to whatever you need. I’m heading to back. REMEMBER, if you try anything funny, I swear I will leave you crying for your mother.’ I warned as I threw him a blanket and pillow for the night.

‘Got it snot monster!’ He answered. He seemed to enjoy my annoyance way too much.

I guess that’s exactly why I don’t date dickheads.

‘Rise and shine snot monster!!!’ An increasingly cocky annoying sing-song voice was ringing in my ear.

‘Go awayyyyy~’ I whined.

‘You need to eat to nurse that hangover snot monster!’ He sounded more serious this time.

I sleepily opened my eyes to see a handsome stranger leaning on my door. He had a cheeky gummy smile and eyes that scream mischief. My head clicked and I recalled letting the guy I made out with on a dare with Kenta back to my place.

‘Why are you still here?’ I sleepily rubbed my eyes as I dragged myself out of bed.

‘Well... a snow storm followed after the hail storm and we’re pretty much stuck in the building...’ He answered matter-of-factly as he began chewing on the toast he had made.

‘Whaaaaat?’ I asked.

‘Check your trusty weather app if you don’t believe me!’ He said with his mouth full.

I ran back to my room and picked up my phone. He was right. And I was in shock.

‘Holy fuck!’ I gasp.

‘What? What?’ He came running with a slice of half eaten toast.

‘I look like shit.’ I looked at him.

‘Yeah you do.’ He laughed as he took another bite from his toast.

I had no argument for that. I had a massive bed head and my eyes were crusty. I did indeed look like shit. But strangely, I wasn’t too bothered by the fact that the strange handsome man I barely knew saw me in such a horrid state. In fact, it feels kind of natural.

‘Well fuck that shit. You said I would still be one of the cutest even if I were in my PJs didn’t you?’ I teased as I picked up a slice of toast for myself.

‘Yeah yeah yeah whatever.’ He said.

‘Do you really think so though?’ I asked.

‘What?’ He asked.

‘That I’ll still be cute even if I had went in my PJs..’ I said.

He nodded. ‘To be veryyyyy honest, you don’t look too shit right now either. Kinda cute actually.’ He quipped. His cheeky smile was plastered all over his face.

‘Do you have some strange fetish for unkempt girls or something?’ I asked, faced all crunched up.

‘If I do, I would have seduced you by now, snot monster!’ He shot me a wink.

‘Why does he ALWAYS have to be so annoying?!’ I wondered.

‘So... What do you wanna do snot monster. I knowwwww. How about netflix and chill?!’ He looked really excited, his eyes twinkled again.

‘Netflix and chill...?’ I asked, face darkened.

‘The literal netflix and chill dumbass. No way am I going to risk you bruising my beautiful face.’ He whined.

‘I’m glad you remembered.’ I looked at him, pretty proud of myself.

‘Also... erm your heater is broken.’ Mr Dickhead announced.

And so Mr Dickhead and I went on a Gossip Girl binge session huddled in winter gear.

‘Blair Waldorf  FTW!’ He cheered.

‘OMG IKR?! Everyone thinks Serena Van Der Woodsen carried the show, but she has honestly been nothing but a self centered whiny bitch the entire show?!’ I added.

‘Yeah! She comes and goes as she please, gives up a spot in Brown for some useless bratty reason and gets pissed with lonely boy when he decides to date Blair. Like girl.... you shouldn’t have broken up with him in the first place then?!?!’ Mr Dickhead quipped with sass.

It struck me out of a sudden. I was being a Serena to the boy. I left him heart broken, only to come running back when he moved on.

‘Why are you sulking snot monster? Did I said something wrong???’ He sounded concern.

‘It’s not you... remember the boy who offered to send me home last night? He’s my ex... We were really in love, but we grew apart and I broke it off with him after 4 years. I thought I had moved on, but my world came crashing when HE moved on... I’m such a Serena!’ I was sobbing now.

‘Hey hey. It’s okay...’ He said as he stumbled around to look for some tissues.

‘No it isn’t... I was selfish, and now I have lost my chance!’ I was a crying mess.

‘Look snot monster. Look at me.’ He said as he held onto my shoulders.

I looked up as I attempt to wipe away my never ending tears with my hands.

‘He’s not the one for you.’ He looked into my eyes as he tighten his grip on my shoulders.

‘How do you know?! You know nothing! You’re just saying it!’ I cried even harder.

‘I know. and you know why? Because you call him a boy.’ He said.

‘Boys don’t deserve a beautiful woman like you. A man does.’ He continued.

‘You actually didn’t sound too much like a dick for once Mr Dickhead.’ I giggled in between my sobs.

‘Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny snot monster. Come here you.’ He pulled me into his arms as I continued sobbing.

For some reason, it felt so right. My body moulded into his perfectly. He did not seemed to mind some strange girl crying into his shirt. His warmth made me feel safe again. Suddenly the harsh winter seemed a lot more bearable.  

I woke up foggily, as I realised I was still in the arms of the familiar stranger. I tried to move a little to gain grounding of my situation.

‘Hey... You’re up?’ He whispered. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as we both set up; his warmth leaving me once again.

‘The storm has cleared but I figured all that crying must have left you exhausted since you fell asleep so soundly so I thought I shan’t disturb you.’ He explained.

‘Thanks...’ I smiled.

‘Well since you’re up and the weather has cleared, it’s probably time for me to go... My bunny must be starving by now.’ He announced.

‘WHAT?! You have a bunny in your dorm?! How??!!’ I asked, exasperated.

‘Well snot monster, there’s a lot this beautiful face can do.’ He shot me one of his annoyingly enchanting wink and smirk combo again.

‘Well thank you, for everything Mr Dickhead.’ I said as I walked him to the door.

‘Thank you for having me snot monster. I had fun.’He said, his smile seemed almost sad as he walked away.

‘WAIT! My name is...’ 

‘Let’s keep it this way snot monster. I’ll tell you my name the next time we meet!’ His eyes were twinkling again.

‘But... When will I see you again?’ I whispered to myself as the familiar stranger disappeared in sight. Suddenly the winter seemed kinda harsh again.

It was back to the usual grind again. School and lunch dates with Kenta.

‘So.... How was Mr Dickhead???’ Kenta quipped.

‘He’s....nice.’ I said, slightly smiling to myself.

‘Nice? That’s all? Wow he must really suck in bed.’ Kenta snickered.

‘What??? I did not sleep with him???!!!’ I smacked Kenta on his arm before I got up from my seat.

Being the perfectionist that I am, I had pretty stellar grades and I was part of a scholars program by the university. I was going for an exclusive scholars exchange program halfway across the globe. While it is kinda sad to leave Kenta behind, I was kinda glad that I was going away from the harsh winter and into the nice warm Sun. I pulled my scarf closer to myself once again as I scurried to the exchange’s meeting.

‘A very good afternoon to all scholars. It is a pleasure to have you here. Please take a seat and the briefing will begin shortly.’ The professor in charge announced.

I found myself a seat as I casually scanned the room. A familiar sight caught my attention. It was the same annoyingly charming smirk. It was Mr Dickhead across the room. I stared at him wide eyed as he waved. 

‘So as you should already know, all of you represent your majors in pairs and will be heading to our various partnered universities. Here are the names of your partners. Kindly find one another, and take a seat together as we continue with our briefing.

I scanned through the list and found my name along with a Kim Sanggyun.

‘Hey Snot Monster. We meet again!’ Mr Dickhead was all smiles again as he settled down in the seat next to me.

‘You’re Kim Sanggyun...?’ I asked.

‘Guilty as charged.’ He answered with the same cheeky smile.

‘I told you we would meet again didn’t I, Lee Do Hee sshi.’ His eyes twinkled.

‘How did you...?’ I asked.

‘I saw your notice lying on the coffee table the other day snot monster... Why do you look so shock? Surprised that a dickhead like me is a scholar?!’ He quipped.

‘Honestly... yes....’ I snickered.

And so Sanggyun and I travelled together, half way across the globe. I happily strutted out of the airport in my summer dress and sunnies. I took a deep breath, inhaling the summer air. 

‘Ready for the adventure of a lifetime snot monster?’ Sanggyun asked with the same cheeky smile I first spotted at the party.

‘Yes.’ I answered. 

Why is no one talking about this boy who’s pretty much the epitome of sexy cute? He looks like a douche but has a smile of an angel. Like did you guys see him being cute in his ‘replay’ performance?! 😭 gonna try to craft a good plot for him soon. Plz share my love for him!!! Hahaha

This is really just a little Drabble/extension from p1, just to satisfy my noona complex for this giant cutie. Like seriously, his smile. How can he look so innocent and sweet and yet so hunky all at once?!

- So guanlin and you have been secretly dating for about 2 months now. He generally used ‘hanging out with Jaehwan Hyung’ as a reason to visit your dorm. :p (kudos to wing man Jaehwan)

- your company is planning for a Single solo release for you.

- you’ve been practicing hard and long to present this new image to the audience.- while you were having a meeting with your company, they suggested to feature a male rapper.

-‘erm how about Lai guanlin of cube ent? I mean he’s really popular, and he’s close friends with Jaehwan Oppa.’ You quipped.

- Jaehwan rolled his eyes at you and shot you a dirty smirk.

- your company (thankfully) thought it was a good idea and thought it might be a good idea to milk on the whole guanlin-jooe rumour; are they an item or are they just close friends???

- so guanlin was obviously ecstatic about the collaboration.

- he met you bright and early in your company’s production room.

- this is the first time you are producing a song independently and he’s so proud and honoured to be able to be part of it.

- you showed him the demo and it was pretty much a swaggy singing rapish song.

- ‘noona, you rap?!’ Guanlin was so surprised, and honestly thought it was pretty hot. Especially since you’ve always been the girl next door.

- you smack him on his arm. ‘I can be a swaggyyyyy rappperrrrr too okay!’ You teased him of his cheesy embarrassing speech he gave during his p101 days. Lol.

- the collaboration was great and both of you loved that you have extra time to spend together.

- perhaps you guys took longer than expected to complete the song production just so you guys can snuggle on the couch and watch movies.

- it’s hard dating as idols afterall :(

- one day, guanlin brought you a lunchbox.

- you giggled at how cheesy it was as there was a piece of ham haphazardly cut into a heart shape on top of the kimchi fried rice he made, along with your name in ketchup on the ham.

- ‘hahaha I didn’t know my swaggy rapper had this side to him!!!’ You teased.

- ‘ughhhh this was seonho’s idea i swear. Seriously. why did I listen to that idiot.’ Guanlin was Super flustered. He promised himself he was gonna smack that chick when he gets home.

- ‘ no no it’s cute. Thank you. I love it.’ You said and gave guanlin a peck on the lips.

- he made a mental note to thank the chick instead.

- fast forward to the MV shooting day.

- ‘wahhh guanlin looks good!’ You teased as the make up unnies were almost done with guanlin’s prep.

- ‘noona! Why is your outfit so revealing?!’

- ‘what do you mean??’ You were dressed in a crop top, an oversized denim jacket and hot shorts.

-‘noona the whole world can see your belly button! I haven’t even seen it before!’ Guanlin was pouting like a baby.

-‘aww is my baby chick jealous? Look. You can look at my belly button now!??’

- ‘you know I don’t mean it that way!’ Guanlin pouts even more.

- you smack your Boyfriend for being a hormonal young man with dirty thoughts. Lollol.

- ‘you can’t blame me okay. Let’s face it, I’m a hot blooded young man, and my Girlfriend is a really hot noona.’ Guanlin spoke with absolute conviction.

- ‘so I should be angry that my guanlin goes around staring at other girls with a sexy gaze and smirk? Mmmm? Junior sexy bandit?!?’

- ‘fair. At least I’m the male lead in the mv. Hehehehe’ Guanlin shoots you a teasing wink before strutting off.

- your Boyfriend was honestly quite flustered by how sexy you can be. And he was Low key quite proud.

- he was extra happy when the mv director instructed him to hold you by the waist and be all sultry together (imagine seonho and guanlin’s trouble maker lol)

- he was also pretty shy, because you guys pretty much only cuddled and made out irl

- You were also getting pretty flustered. You knew your bf can be sexy, but you also know he’s a dork. To have him be sexy and professional while working with you is quite a bit to take.

- when the director yelled ‘cut’ both guanlin and you breathe a sigh of relief.

- you both met in the make up room and broke out in laughter.

- ‘shall we take it slow irl lil chick?’

- guanlin nods his head enthusiastically, he wasn’t sure if he could cope if you guys took it to the next level. (Ie he might forget his duties as an idol lol)

- ‘but I get to see you in a bikini now that I’ve seen your belly button.’ Guanlin announced before running away, too pleased with himself.

- the make up unnies are back to touch up your make up so you could not hit your bf.

- ‘saranghae noona. Love you!’ Guanlin text you as he shoots you a smirk from the opposite end of the room.

Hiiii. I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, everything has been really tough lately. :( but, my new recent obsession comes in the form of some fresh wanna one meat. Lol, honestly I feel quite gross about myself for liking guanlin, but omg I’m such a huge cube trash and I love how hard working and sincere he is?! Like guanlin and seonho pretty much is embodies the Essence of a cube member, just like the (used to be) beast boys and btob boys?! Sobs. But anyways, I hope you enjoy this little shot story that has been playing in my head. Everything is kept at a pg rating for obvious reasons. I will not taint my little rap chick.

(So imagine this is post- wanna one and you have been paired up with Kim Jaehwan to form a mix gender duo group called ‘The June Project’. Your name is Kim Joo-e and you’re a 99-er. Jaehwan and you are pretty much like real life siblings who are always bickering, but loves one another at the end of the day. You’re pretty much the latest trending girl in kpop as you’re known for your down-to-earth genuine charm. Doesn’t hurt that you’re Super talented and plays the guitar (think IU). )

- One day while preparing for your comeback stage, the wanna one members decided to surprise Jaehwan at the backstage to show their support.

- You had just gone to the bathroom and came back into your makeup room flustered, afterall, you were quite the wanna one fan before your debut.

- You’ve met a couple of Jaehwan‘s wanna one friends like Minhyun, but you haven’t really interacted with most of them, especially not as the entire group as Jaehwan had pretty much been busy preparing for The June Project the moment wanna one’s contract ended.

- the boys were pretty flustered to see you as well, especially since you’re the latest trending girl in the kpop scene.

- ‘omo, annyeonghaseyo!’ You bowed low as you greeted the wanna one boys. You hurriedly tried to retreat to the corner of the room as you realised the boys were filming a V live recording as fan service (such cuties).

- ‘Joo-e ah, come join us!!’ Jaehwan called you out.

- You timidly walked over to the camera and greeted the audience. You’re normally pretty outgoing and cheerful, but it’s honestly pretty daunting to be in front of your idols.

- fans started flooding the comments section, indicating that you looked cute, and mostly asking who’s your favourite wanna one member.

- ‘Joo-e shi, the fans would like to know who is your favourite wanna one member!!!’ Jisung half yelled.

- ‘hahaha definitely not Kim Jaehwan.’ You teased.

- Jaehwan gave you a death stare before a cheeky smirk creeped onto his face.

- You were starting to low key freak out, worried about what Jaehwan might share.

- ‘actually, joo-e has told me that she was quite a wannable and even attended our concert!’

- the wanna one boys were gushing and getting excited. Ong and Jisung were pushing you to tell the world who your bias was.

- ‘I’m guessing it’s Daniel?’ Jisung said.

- You stood there frozen, not too sure how to admit to your bias. Oh Gosh.

- ‘let me tell you a funny story. One night, joo-e came knocking on my door holding her iPad with wannaone’s profile on it. She then asked, “oppa is it true that Lai Guan Lin likes noonas?!” ‘ jaehwan did a terrible imitation of you.

- you could hear oohs and ahhs as you tried to hide your face.

- ‘so you’re our giant maknae stan!!!’ Ji sung chimmed.

- You shyly bow your head and you simply could not look at Guan Lin. However, you did shoot Jaehwan a death stare. ‘You’re dead the next time we have an interview with a girl group, oppa yaaa’ you teased.

- everyone broke out in laughter, entertained by your chemistry with Jaehwan.

- ‘so guanlin ah, is it true that you prefer noonas?’ Ong has fired his shots. You’ve once again hid your face in your hand as you turn d tomato red.

- guanlin was flustered as well. ‘Well... erm... I think coming to Korea at a young age on my own has made me mature quite quickly, so I guess an older woman will fit me better?’

- everyone was gushing, Daehwi was jumping around, unable to contain his excited. Jin young was hugging guanlin and ruffling his hair as guanlin maintained his signature flustered smile, avoiding eye contact with you at all cost.

- things could’ve ended there, but no, the wanna one boys are little brats. To your surprise, the usually quiet park Woojin spoke up.

- ‘we were actually observing hyung’s performance with joo-e shi the other day, and guanlin commented that Joo-e has a very cute face!’

- everyone went nuts with that proclamation. The wannaone boys all turned to guanlin, hoping to hear more elaboration, as I stood at a corner, heart pounding.

- ‘yeah, it’s true, I think Joo-e noona is really cute.’ guanlin confessed.

- the boys went wild again. You bowed your head to thank Guanlin, and he bowed back. Your heart was racing as quickly as the day you debut and you had to excuse yourself to touch up your make up before you die of embarrassment.

- that night, after you returned to your dorm and was removing your make up, you received a text. ‘Hi Joo-e noona, I’m sorry about just now. The hyungs can go overboard some times. It’s okay if I call you noona right? This is Lai Guan Lin by the way.’

- I screamed. Jaehwan came running to my room with a toothbrush chucked in his mouth. ‘OMG WHAT HAPPENED?’

-‘ oppa did you give guanlin Shi my number?’ I asked.

- Jaehwan’s face immediately contorted into a cheeky smirk. ‘Oh yeah, wow did the kid text you already? He’s fast...’ jaehwan snickered, he sounded pretty proud of his dongseng.

-‘oh Gosh I can’t believe this. Lai guanlin, the most gorgeous man I’ve known just texted me!!!’ You gushed to Jaehwan as you held your phone close to your chest.

- ‘I think I’m pretty gorgeous too... and you owe me one kid!!!’ Jaehwan muttered as he sashayed out of your room.

- I promise to wing you next time okay!!! You shouted out.

- the following days went by as a blur. You were pretty much on auto pilot mode, and nothing mattered except when guanlin replied.

- You could be practicing a song when your phone beeps and you jump, only to end up smiling at yourself like a love drunk idiot.

- guanlin was pretty much what you imagined him to be; but better. He was funny and charismatic. Mature but humourous at the same time.

- you had lived overseas for a period of time as well; so you guys talked about growing up overseas, and obviously, your love for music.

- ‘noona, Eunkwang Hyung from my company is in a musical and they’re giving out preview tickets. I remember you said your dream was to star in a musical, would you like to maybe come with me?’ Guanlin had asked you out!!!!

- you obviously said yes and spent the entire day fretting about what to wear. ‘Oppa. Does guanlin like cute or sexy? Oppa, does guanlin like girls with lots of make up or just a little? Oppa, should I have my hair up or down? Straight or curled?’ You were bombarding poor Jaehwan with so many questions.

- ‘cute with a hint of sexy, light make up with wavy hair let down.’ He muttered as he walked past your room while you were busy googling information about guanlin online.

- ‘I heard you were fretting about your looks today?’ Guanlin asked when we met up.

- You made a mental note to kill Jaehwan when you get home.

- ‘I like noona how she normally is best.’ Guanlin shyly confesses.

- ‘ahhh. I bet oppa exaggerated a lot, I wasn’t exactly fretting... I just wasn’t sure what was appropriate to wear....’ you tried to fend yourself.

- ‘ oh. I thought you were nervous about impressing me... hahaha. Because i surely was afraid of embarrassing you. I pretty much flooded Jaehwan Hyung with questions about you the entire day...’ Guanlin confessed shyly. He seemed really flustered that he was the only one fretting about the ‘date’.

- ‘ I lied, I was panicking and bugging Jaehwan Oppa all day too....’ You pouted as you confessed.

- ‘noona you are seriously so adorable!’ Guanlin seemed more confident now as he patted you on your head.

- after your little confession, guanlin seemed like a changed man; leading you like a gentleman. You pretty much forgot that guanlin was in fact younger.

- Eunkwang was obviously spectacular in the play; and you thoroughly enjoyed yourself. The fact that you went with guanlin helped a lot too, although his dashing good looks did distract you from the musical from time and again.

- the cutie pie insisted on walking you home, which made you all warm and fuzzy. You went to bed and slept like a princess, only to have your bandmate budging into your room way too early for your comfort.

- ‘YAH KIM JOO-E. Are guanlin and you together already?!?! I can’t believe I have to find out via a tabloid site?!’ Jaehwan was standing in front of you with messy bed hair and arms frailing around.

- ‘what are you talking about??!! Guanlin and I are not dating...’ you rubbed your eyes as you try to comprehend your bandmate’s words.

-Jaehwan was now sitting on your bed, shoving his phone in your face.

- there was indeed a breaking news about guanlin and you, and a picture of guanlin sending you home.

- ‘oh my god, our manager Oppa is going to kill me....’ You whined.

- just then, jaehwan screamed as he picked up your phone.

‘Why do you look like shit?’ He asked.

‘What do you mean?’ I answered as I puffed the last bit of my cigarette.

‘Well it’s 2 in the afternoon, you’re in sweats, your hair looks like it hasn’t been combed for weeks, you reek of alcohol and other bodily odour, there’s even food stain on your face.’ He explain thoroughly.

‘Why do you care? Who the fuck are you even?’ I threw my cigarette butt on the ground and stepped on it to extinguish whatever remains of it.

‘I don’t.’ He retorted.

‘Fuck off then. Go do something, whatever that something is.’ I answered nonchalantly as I stood up, ready to leave.

‘Well I don’t particularly have anything to do right now, so why don’t you let me help you?’ The guy followed me as I headed back to my shoebox apartment.

‘What is the matter with you? I don’t even know who the hell are you?’ He was getting on my nerve.

‘What are you afraid of? What do you have to lose? You’re a wreck even without me around anyways.’ He challenged.

I should’ve shouted at him, possibly smack him in his face, for being awfully rude. But I did not, because he was right; I indeed, have nothing to lose. 

‘Fine. Nobody would care even if you turn out to be a psychotic murderer anyways.’ 

‘Not true. The whole town would start freaking out that a psychotic murderer is out in the loose, and YOU will be known as HIS victim.’ He teased as he winked at me and gestured for me to follow.

‘I seriously suspect that you might really be a psychopath.’ I mumbled as I allowed him to lead the way.

‘Hey, everyone is a little crazy in their own ways, so who cares?’ He flunk his arms in the air as he does a little dance around.

‘You know nothing about crazies.’ I replied.

‘I know everything about crazies.’ He retorted.

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms; too tired to be bothered to argue with another human on Earth. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 14, after witnessing my father leaping off the building in front of my eyes, and borderline personality disorder at 21. I was pretty sure I knew more about crazies than this self-absorbed, privileged kid who probably thinks he can save the world one person at a time.

‘Hey I know you’re judging me, and that’s not very nice okay.’ He turned around and pointed at me.

‘You’re literally dancing around in public, EVERYBODY’S probably judging you, nutjob.’ I said.

‘Not that. The thoughts.’ He was up close to my face and squinted at me suspiciously before he was leaping away like a carefree idiot the next moment.

‘The thoughts?’ I wondered to myself.

‘So what would you like to do?’ He asked.

‘I don’t know. I don’t care?’ I answered.

‘Okay, milkshake by the park then!’ He grabbed my hand as we hopped onto the next available taxi and headed straight to the destination.

‘Hi, can I have 2 strawberry milkshakes with extra whipped cream please.’ He told the familiar lady with perfectly permed hair.

Just as the surroundings of the old school cafe starts forming memories in my head, the guy hooked his arm around mine and dragged me out.

He found a nice sunny spot just along the lake as he signal me to take a seat.

‘This place... I think I used to come here as a child.’ I said.

‘mmm’ He answered.

‘The cafe, the lady, the strawberry milkshake, and sitting by the lake. These were things I used to do as a child.’ I went on.

‘Mmm. Why did you stop then?’ He asked in a child like manner as he tries to lick the whipped cream off his fingers.

‘I don’t know... Things changed, people changed and strawberry milkshakes by the lake didn’t seemed as important anymore I guess?’ I tried to explain while I questioned myself as well.

‘Do you still like it though?’ He asked.

‘I guess... I remember my dad would always bring a bag of bread and we’d feed the ducks together after our milkshakes.’ I thought about the good times before everything came crumbling down.

‘Well... lucky you... look what I have!’ He said as he triumphantly fished out a bag of bread from his backpack.

‘OMG what are you, a mind reader or something?’ I gasped in excitement.

‘Maybe? Perhaps? Who knows?’ He answered.

‘You really are pretty strange aren’t you?’ I asked.

‘Well what are you waiting for, go ahead and feed the ducks!’ He nudged me forward as we both rushed down the slope to get closer to the ducks.

We began tearing the bread into smaller bits as we attempt to invite the ducks over.

‘It seems like these ducks aren’t that interested in bread...’ He whined.

‘They must’ve known that these must be some shitty bread, possibly poisoned or something.’ I teased.

Just then, he popped a piece of the bread into my mouth and one into his.

‘Great, we can die together then. ‘Couple commit suicides by local lake.’ Sounds pretty romantic to me?’ He teased again.

‘You’re seriously the weirdest shit ever.’ I smacked him on his back as I made my way back up the slope.

‘You can’t deny that you enjoyed yourself?’ He asked.

‘I did, thank you.’ I answered.

‘Good. We’re meet again tomorrow same time at the same place we met then. But please for God’s sake, take a shower and wear something proper okay? I don’t want people to think that I am dating some hobo.’ He said in his usual diva-ish tone.

‘I don’t look that bad okay, and what do you mean dating?’ I exclaimed.

‘Well, I have to go, see you tomorrow, the name’s Jin by the way!’ He happily skipped away in his strange dance as he disappeared into the crowd.