🧠🫀

I swear I’m going to start doing things. Even if it’s pointless and nothing happens. Nothing is already happening. I might as well do something and see if maybe anything does actually happen.

just remembered that the world i live in is a making of my own

if anything me keeping this in existence and mostly only logging on infrequently to vent post has shown me that I live in a never ending pattern that despite recognizing I’m still unable to break. im trapped in a cycle of my own undoing. I always talk myself out of feeling so low because I tell myself I always make it out. But now all I can seem to feel and focus on is the weight of the fact that I’ll always be suffering these cycles and I’ll never be able to achieve anything meaningful. I will always be trapped in survival mode.

kinda just wanna OD rn. I won’t, but the thought is tempting

feels like I’m honestly just passing the time until I die

another year, another let down

it’s okay I had sex and came twice and now I feel better, at least for now

tonight’s special is 3 10mg melatonins, a sip of a cannabis drink that I had left, and a dose of dayquul lol