Ships Are Sinking

Presenting: Her

wip photos

I was obsessed with the vogue outtakes and had to make it into a craft, it was actually just a digital drawing at first but I had some canvas lying around and decided to give it a try. I think it turned out really good, being one of my favorite (completed) art ive made. I might go back in some time in the future to fix up the hair lines but for now I consider it finished :)

Here are some highlights from this morning’s lesson:

Me: *removes the wooden dicks from my bag and slaps them on the table*

Students collectively: o_O

That one student: nice

—

Me: *demonstrating how to put on a condom*

Also me: *puts it on wrong the first time, even though I practiced twice beforehand* So everyone, here we see what not to do. Let’s try that again

—

Me: *finished demonstration, holding a sheathed wooden dick* so what questions do we have about condoms before I unleash you all to practice on the models?

Student: *raises hand* yeah, I’m wondering how you’re feeling about your life choices up until this point?

Me: o-o

—

Student 1: *raises hand* miss, why are the condoms so... slimy?

Me: thats lubricant, it helps get rid of friction that might cause discomfort during intercourse.

Student 2: *raises hand* can you use lube on a slip and slide?

Me: *genuinely considering the possibility*

—

*during a conversation about excuses people have heard for not wearing condoms*

Student 1: I had a guy tell me he was too big to fit in a condom

Me: *opens a condom, puts entire forearm inside and pulls it up to my elbow* here’s why that’s not true

Student 2: I once saw a video of somebody that put an entire watermelon in a condom before, so unless that dude’s got a watermelon shlong, that’s cap.

Me: *slowly losing composure behind my mask* you have the right idea, but let’s refrain from using the word ‘shlong’ in class, please.

—

Me: what are some ideas of things we can say to people who try to pressure you into having unprotected sex?

Student 1: tell them you don’t want their penis cooties!!

Student 2: penis cooties? Pretty sure that’s just herpes

Me, internally: like... you’re not wrong

—

Me: alright everyone, time to return the wooden models up front. Remove the condoms by firmly grasping the base of the model and sliding it off. Don’t forget to throw it away please!

Student 1: FIRMLY GRASP IT

Student 2: idk if I can return it now, miss. I’ve become attached to mine(the wooden dick)

Student 3: yeah, most men are

Me: *trying to keep a straight face*

—

Student 1: miss, why are the wooden dicks so shiny when you take the condom off

Me: oh, that’s just the lubricant from the condom.

Student 2: so you know you put the condom on right if your dick is shiny after?

Student 3: yeah! If your dick is shiny, you’re doing it right

Me: *trying to keep my composure pt. 36716159* uh, yeah that’s not necessarily the case. You see, these models are wooden. Penises are not.

Student 3: then why is it called morning wood?

Me: *internally self destructs*

—

Me: *casually wiping off the lube from wooden dicks w/ a paper towel before returning them to my bag* so what questions do we have about the use of contraception?

yes hello hi! this is Joe Biden officiating a gay marriage. Joe Mahshie and Brian Mosteller, long time White House Staffers asked the then Vice President (this is 2016) to marry them. It was the first wedding (and only as far as I know) Biden had ever officiated, he had to get a special temporary certification to do it in DC. This picture (and the Wedding) is at the Naval Observatory in DC, the official home of the Vice President, to date there’s not be a gay wedding at the White House. 

in 2017, Joe Biden endorsed Danica Roem

In 2018, he wrote the forward to Sarah McBride’s memoir

From Charlotte Clymer:

Even the most ardent progressives would have to concede that Biden is unusually knowledgeable on LGBTQ equality, and it shows. And yet, I will admit to having been skeptical myself until I met him.

Last year, I talked to Joe Biden at a presidential forum. Initially gregarious in his trademark way, he got very serious when I asked him directly about trans rights. His face changed, he leaned in, and pointed his finger at my heart. He said “trans rights are human rights” and talked with me about his plans to ensure no LGBTQ person gets left behind. I’ve had conversations with other politicians who publicly supported LGBTQ people but betrayed a surface-level knowledge and commitment in private. Biden is not one of them. His commitment to equality runs deep. (Source)

Literally no one:

Not a single soul:

"I like your mother. You have your mother's breasts."

"Her breasts."