fine, thanks

- one plastic sachet Heinz sweet potato chickpea and veg soup, stashed at the very back of the pantry

- 1/3 cup rissoni, from the Tupperware box of miscellaneous end-of-packet grains and pastas that didn’t quite fit in the aesthetic mason jars on the shelf

- Two slices of sourdough mixed-with-something-fashionable loaf bought from woolies anytime after 7pm when it drops from $6 to $2.20 just because of the hour

- Butter them up with a tablespoon of Lurpak stolen from your lux-living housemate, melted with 5 cloves of garlic in the microwave for 1 min. Don’t gawk at the amount of garlic - you wouldn’t be making this if you weren’t alone anyway

- Realise you’ve timed it all wrong and now the rissoni is bloated and the soup has burnt on the bottom so now we’re making Depression Paella