Big brat, even bigger heart

[Art of a Black knight, shown in profile from the knees up. He is wearing full armor with his shield and helmet strapped to his back. His hair is close-cropped. He’s standing next to a white horse who has their head lowered. The knight looks serious and determined. ]

why is it always the fancylad boy-king type whos the bottom. maybe his tough loyal knight who uses his body to protect and defend him and lives to serve him wants to get railed

maybe i just like it when masc dudes with scars and calluses and a devotion complex bigger than the moon get topped by troubled prettyboys with hands thatve never worked a day in their life. who said that

need more women with swords giving me wisdom tbh

for years i attended knight school in hopes of becoming a hero who rescues beautiful maidens from danger (wyrms, wolves etc). unfortunately due to Feminism the maidens have all started rescuing themselves thus rendering me obsolete

There appear to be fresh openings in the wyrm/wolf companion careers. Are you allergic to dogs, gold, or fine silks?

all three 😔

thou could'st cut out ye middle manne and become a maiden?

verily, i have tried this but was ryte terrible at it

Mayhaps thyne attempt be short lived. Think upon the chances of trying once more. Practice improves.

forsooth you sound just like my mother

Quite the query indeed. Ah, a thought has't granted me illumination. Has't thou ever considered ventures into the bandit trade. There be riches abound and beautiful maidens to woo with thy'n outlaw charm

an intriguing proposition! tell me, are maidens these days into "bad boys"? because i am bad. at many things.

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

knight strip tease. is that anything

knight burlesque performance where he brings on a squire to help him take off each individual garment. the helmet stays on. squire is stone-faced and professional.

duo of knights doing a burlesque performance where they make (presumably) sensual eye contact while their respective squires help them take off their armour. the helmets stay on. the performance lasts twenty whole minutes. is this anything