ftm

I have something to tell each and every one of you… there is no handbook on how to be a man. You do not have to live up to any expectation of what society thinks you should be.

I’m a straight dude that has tattoos, usually rocks a full beard, dress with this “I’m a bad ass” thing going on… but you know what?

I don’t know shit about cars or trucks. I hate being dirty. I don’t wanna go sit at a bar and drink beer with the guys. I’m not obsessed with the female body and getting laid. I don’t spend hours working in a garage. I don’t go to the gym and obsess over having this hugely masculine body.

I listen to “girly” music more than anything else on my playlist. I fuckin love me some bath bombs from Lush. I know how to do girls hair. I still think the smell of cotton candy is the most amazing thing in the entire world. I am emotional and unafraid to be vulnerable. My favorite color is yellow. I think if you add glitter to anything it’s bomb as fuck. You could put that shit on camo and I’d be floored haha.

My point is… being transgender, it can be mad confusing just finding your true identity. Sometimes society has standards for gender and expectations that we try to fit into, just to pass or to accept our own selves into the identity we are still building. You don’t have to give up ANY part of who you are when transitioning. You don’t have to let go of what makes you, you. You don’t have to be whatever stigma of a man that society expects of or pushes on you. I tried that for so long and I was never ever truly happy. I am the happiest I have been in my entire life now just being wide open and unapologetic.

Shout out to trans men who have a hard time hiding their chests because of their size.

Shout out to trans men who can’t bind for medical or safety reasons.

Shout out to trans men who have dysphoria but can’t pass.

Shout out to trans men who have traditionally feminine and womanly attributes who can’t pass.

Shout out to trans men who still have a hard time passing no matter what they do.

Shout out to trans men who we have lost because they just could not take feeling so wrong in their bodies for another day.

Shout out to trans men who don’t look like men.

I’m sorry you can’t do anything to help with your dysphoria, and I’m sorry that you can’t do anything to pass right now.

most trans men - not all of them, but most that I know - hate being short. we know you mean well by saying, “that’s okay! plenty of short men out there are adorable and precious!” but

the thing is

we p r o b a b l y hate being short because we don’t want to be adorable. seriously. i know i fucking hate it because i want to be like the action heroes i look up to and admire, all of whom are intimidating and - you guessed it - tall.

if you can’t figure out how to make us feel better about our height without calling us things like ‘adorable’ and ‘cute’ and ‘fun sized’, please don’t say anything at all and just give us encouragement in other ways.