Purple Haze all in my brain

❝ its all fun and games until its not that anymore ❞

❝ i grow more powerful every day and by powerful i mean sad ❞

❝ only the good die young? phew good thing that i am so incredibly awful ❞

❝ if theres one thing i dont know about its everything ❞

❝ heres some general life advice, when the sun hits the ground find somewhere to hide ❞

❝ surfs up. hail satan ❞

❝ after 13 long years congress approved a bill that will finally let the bodies hit the floor ❞

❝ hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever ❞

❝ in a way aren’t we all responsible for my actions ❞

❝ some say love is a river, me i say things that make sense ❞

❝ if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance ❞

❝ i may be dumb as hell but i am also insanely stupid ❞

❝ take every thing you own and throw it into the ocean who cares ❞

❝ you know the old saying, boys will be trash ❞

❝ one of these days i will float up off into damn space and no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa ❞

❝ if i could shoot anything with a gun i would probably shoot another gun, the hunter become the hunted ❞

❝ lets forget about the bodies for a second. what do you really want to let hit the floor? your feelings perhaps? ❞

❝ i’ve seen a lot of things in my time, which i blame on me leaving my eyes open. things got a lot better once i decided to just close them ❞

❝ learning from mistakes is for people who recognise that they make mistakes. i dont give a shit ❞

❝ there are few things in life that can’t be achieved with occult dark magic ❞

❝ how to predict the future: think of the worst possible thing that could happen ❞

❝ halloween is forever bitch ❞

❝ who are the real criminals, me who does the crimes or the people who hurt my feelings all the time ❞

❝ looks like things are always happening once again ❞

❝ i am going to lay completely still on the forest floor until either things start going my way or i disintegrate into nothing ❞

❝ im sure im going to ruffle some feathers with this but given the choice between good times and bad times i would like to have the good times ❞

❝ the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead ❞

❝ tired of people always telling me go to hospital and that i’ve lost a lot of blood, its my severe head injury not yours stay out of it ❞

❝ i hit the hay all day mother fucker. 24 hour sleep cycle. if you awake you a fake. its bed time bitch ❞

❝ i hope one day i will find love, or a cool looking leaf. either one ❞

❝ piles of uneaten candy will signal im dead ❞

❝ the hairless rat is not a new species, merely a result of my failed scam of shaving rats and selling the hair back to them at a high price ❞

❝ we let the bodies hit the floor then what? next we’ll have bodies hitting walls, roofs, you name it, bodies will be hitting it ❞

❝ sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the ones swinging big knives around while screaming and trying to cut us ❞

❝ yeah yeah blame the guy whos dna matches with the dna found at the crime scene. surprise surprise ❞

❝ for as long as i can remember i have been able to remember things, maybe even before that ❞

❝ yeah i looked both ways before crossing the street, i looked both ‘handsome’ and ‘radiant’, too bad i got hit by that car ❞

❝ stop living in a dream world and start living in the regular nightmare world all of the rest of us live in ❞

❝ blood moon, very cool to see. and whats the sun doing again? the same regular thing for the millionth time? what a load of worthless trash ❞

❝ if existing for an amount of time has taught me anything its that i have no idea whats going on ❞

❝ hurled my bible at the paper boy and knocked him off his bike with the real news ❞

❝ i’ll go in whatever direction the wind takes me, and if i am too heavy for wind to move me around i will probably just lay down and die here ❞

❝ i’ve said it before and i will say it again, i think people should give me hundreds of dollars and feel good about doing it ❞

❝ wow, i’ve never thought about it like that before. and i never will. i’ve already forgotten what you said, good bye forever ❞

❝ stop being so defensive i am just trying to hit you with weapons ❞

❝ dont betray me and act surprised when i get revenge on you, thats the number one consequence of betraying me. everyone knows it. even babies ❞

❝ blood is just nature’s red water that flys out when you make a mistake. relax and enjoy the experience for once ❞

❝ reached the limit of what you can do with imagination? why not try occult dark magic ❞

❝ if anyone needs me i will be laying face down on the ocean floor ❞

As he says this, he sits down next to the other, bag of marshmallows in his hands. Not even bothering to even attempt cooking the things, he simply digs a hand into the bag and tosses one of them into his mouth, offering the bag to the other.

“Which is why I’ve opted to eat them as is. Besides there’s no reason to add chocolate and graham crackers if they taste fine like this.”

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF THE SHOW, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

❝ The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie. ❞

❝ Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now. ❞

❝ I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.. ❞

❝ Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me. ❞

❝ God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. ❞

❝ Giving him a name makes him human. ❞

❝ I’m fairly certain you would be caught. ❞

❝ What’s the most valuable thing in your office? ❞

❝ You mean my job as an amazing detective/genius? ❞

❝ Did you tell her we slept together twice? ❞

❝ I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit. ❞

❝ I’d wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. ❞

❝ You’re going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. ❞

❝ Come on, who wants to take this seriously? ❞

❝ I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.  ❞

❝ Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!  ❞

❝ Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he’s gotten out of jail? ❞

❝ Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate? ❞

❝ A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That’s highly unusual. ❞

❝ It’s a personal matter, involving a personal friend and his personal uncle. ❞

❝ So you remembered to turn off your signature, right? ❞

❝ I promise you, as soon as they tell me, you’ll be the first to know. ❞

❝ You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad. ❞

❝ Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, alright? My lips are sealed! ❞

❝ This is a secret. Do you understand me? ❞

❝ You do know what they do to witches up there, don’t you? ❞ 

❝ Well, I think we handled that with dignity. ❞

❝ Are you making fun of my stutter? ❞

❝ Oh. Uh… Sorry. I think I’m feeling a little awkward. ❞

❝ How do we make it not weird? ❞

❝ I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face. ❞

❝ You know I’ve made a lot of improvements since you left? ❞

❝ I know we just met, and I don’t wanna be too forward… ❞

❝ I’ve got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we- ❞

❝ They just gave me ten years in prison.. ❞

❝ You can’t do anything except disobey orders and screw up! ❞

❝ Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot. ❞

❝ What’s up? How can I help? ❞

❝ Well, we’ll just break you down to nothin’ and see what time it is. ❞

❝ Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. What’s for dinner? ❞

❝ Why do people like these things? They’re just shiny rocks. ❞

❝ We’re gonna talk to a lawyer and get a professional opinion. ❞

❝ Looks good! Can barely tell you hulked out in here. ❞

❝ I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard. ❞

❝ All I did was be the only person who believes in you. ❞

❝ Somebody’s tryin’ to kill me, and I need protection. ❞

❝ I can smoke as much weed as I want. ❞

❝ It’s this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple. ❞

❝ I saw an opening and I had to take it. ❞

❝ But this isn’t over! I will hunt you to the ends of the earth! ❞

❝ What?! But we saw him throw them in the garbage! ❞

❝ Nobody’s ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry. ❞

❝ It’s not like I’m dying to tell anyone I saw your- ❞

❝ I’m dating my son-of-a-bitch ex-husband; who am I to judge? ❞

❝ I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes. ❞

❝ I’ll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want! ❞

❝ Massage! I’ll give you a massage! ❞

❝ I’ll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe. ❞

❝ That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now. ❞

❝ The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth. And in my hands! ❞

❝ Come on, you can be honest. ❞

❝ I want old, expensive books. I’ll send you a list. ❞

❝ The tow truck just got here, so that’ll buy us at least an hour. ❞

❝ Tow truck?! What the hell’d you do to my car?! ❞

❝ What we need in here is an armored personnel carrier. A tank! ❞

❝ Well, I’m gonna go follow up on a lead right now. ❞

❝ Woah, no! What’re those morons doing in there?!  ❞

❝ Why is everyone just standing around? Get back to work! ❞

❝ What’d you do? What’d you say? ❞

❝ I hear you can smuggle in crap from outside. ❞

❝ What’re you lookin’ at? You got a problem? ❞

❝ I like you. You got balls.. ❞

❝ I hate to rub it in, detectives, but I told you they’d find me. ❞

❝ Well, he keeps yelling, “Disability for life!” so I think he’s fine. ❞

❝ Who hired you? Who do you work for, pizza man?! ❞

❝ You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. ❞

❝ What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it? ❞

❝ All because we shut down a foot massage place. ❞    

❝ Oh, my God. The City has no mayor now. ❞    

❝ Put your magical hands where I can see them! ❞    

❝ Did they make their bust? Did they save the precinct? ❞  

❝ I was behind the bar the whole time. ❞    

❝ I bet they have some awesome name for it. ❞    

❝ Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute? ❞    

❝ I think you guys might be our best option at finding this guy again. ❞    

❝ You know, a bunch of us are going out drinking tonight. ❞    

❝ How did you get over there? Who are they? ❞    

❝ I’ve been calling you. Why won’t you answer your phone? ❞    

❝ We’ve been onto you for weeks, and we finally got you. ❞    

❝ I’ve never seen them before! What is going on? ❞    

❝ We’re on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.  ❞    

❝ Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.  ❞    

❝ Wait… What? Did you say “eat people”? Are you a cannibal, [ Name ]? ❞    

❝ I’m always gonna be one step ahead of you. ❞