hello

“Who’s this?”

“Daddy! Let me in! It’s me!”

“Who?”

“Me! Can you open the door?”

“Me? Who’s me? I don’t know anyone by that name.”

“Yes, you do! You know who this is!”

“I think you have the wrong address.”

“Not the wrong address! My address! My house! Daddy…”

“I think you’re looking for someone else.”

“Dad! Knock it off!  It’s ME! Tazzie!”

“I really like this truck!” Millie enthuses from the back seat, aggressively scratching at Lucy’s belly as the dog sprawls across her lap.  “It’s bigger than Uncle Duey’s!  And way cooler!  Totally bad ass!”

“That’s ‘cause I’m way cooler and bad ass.” Tyler reasons.

“I can look down at the people next to us. And spy on them! Give ‘em the finger if they deserve it!”

Esme casts a frown over her shoulder. “I don’t want you flipping anyone the bird, okay?”

“What if they don’t use their blinker? Or they keep riding up our ass?”

“Amelia…”

“There were a lot of bad drivers this morning!” The four year old gives an exasperated huff. “ People going too slow, people going too fast, people running the red, people cutting us off!  We flipped a lot of birds, didn’t we daddy?!”

“Oh, you did, did you?”  Esme shoots Tyler a smirk.  “Busy morning, huh?”

“And there was a lot of bad language!” Millie excitedly continues.  “I learned tons  of new swears!”

“You…”  Esme uses the tips of thumb and forefinger to flick his ear lobe. “...are a horrible influence.  You need to watch your mouth around her.  Or she’ll go to school  and start dropping  F-bombs at recess.”

“No F-bombs,” Millie promises.  “But I will drop elbows on someone!! Or feed them knuckle sandwiches!”  Clenching her fists, she makes a ferocious growling noise. “ They’ll be catching these hands!”

“Excuse me?!”

“But only bad people!”  Millie quickly assures her.  “Bullies! I swear if they even dare try me…”

“Can you go and get your dad?”

“Is he in trouble?”

“Not right now.  Lunch is almost ready; go and fetch him and bring him back here.  And get him to help you wash your hands and your feet.  Because if either of you tracks sand into this house…”

“You’ll kick our ass!”

“You learn quick. Go on. Get him.  He’s in the office. The big one.  You have to ring the buzzer, okay? Like he taught you.  You press that button to let him know you’re there,  then you have to wait for him to let you in. Got it?”

“Press the button, tell daddy I’m there, then wait for him. Got it. I’m no dummy.”

She stands at a section break wall that surrounds the lighthouse. Her palms flat against the cement and her shawl across the middle of her back; hooked around her elbows to keep it in place. And he smiles as notices the way the sunlight captures the natural red highlights in her hair and how the brilliant rays reflect off the water; causing her to squint her eyes and crinkle her nose.

There’s something pure about both the expression and her in that moment; completely oblivious to everything going on around her. Heels lifting out of her sandals as she stands on her tiptoes to see over the barrier into the water; hopeful to catch sight of the numerous turtles and other sea life known to frequent the area. Never losing her interest or excitement in seeing Australia’s various creatures and the abundance of scenery; always squealing and giggling when a friendly kangaroo or quokka eats out of her hand and forever taken back by stunning sunsets that paint the sky with vivid shades of orange, purple and pink.

She possesses a childlike enthusiasm when it comes to her surroundings; six years of living Down Under yet never tiring of those road trips along the coast or the little vacations up to The Kimberley or the visits into the big cities. Remaining in awe that this is actually her life; far beyond anything that she could have ever imagined or even thought possible. Everything she’s been through -in the past twelve and a half years and throughout her entire life- and she’s still so full of life; cheerful and optimistic and remaining a bubbly and welcoming social butterfly.

Even on the hardest of days -when he only gets out of bed because he knows his family needs him to- she never fails to make him smile. The lighthearted and loving teasing and the way she stands behind his chair and rubs his shoulders or combs her fingers through his hair; lightly gripping the strands and tipping his head back so she can press kisses along the bridge of his nose. Sending him memes and links to videos even if they’re sitting across from each other out on the deck; the way she chews on her bottom lip and her eyes sparkle with anticipation as she waits for his reaction. Always finding ways to maintain physical contact with him; her foot on top of his or their knees touching under the dinner table, pausing on her way past him as he stands at the kitchen sink; running her palms across his shoulders and down his back and then continuing on her way. Reaching over to take his hand as they sit together on the couch; never saying a word and her attention never wavering from whatever book or magazine she’s immersed in. Always aware of when he needs that contact with her, yet knowing he’ll never ask for it or seek it for himself; never calling attention to it and more often that not, making it seem as if SHE’S the one craving it.

“Tyler!” She calls to him now; that excitement in her voice and that little bounce of her heels reminding him so much of Addie. And she once more pushes herself up onto her tiptoes, eyes wide as she points to the water below with one hand and waves him over with the other. “It’s huge! You have to see this one! Come see it! Hurry!”

With a bemused grin he joins her; a palm settling on the small of her back as he peers down into the water.

“See it?!” She enthusiastically tugs at the side of his t-shirt; once more happily bouncing up and down on her heels.

He sees so much of Addie in her at that moment; the glitter of contentment in her eyes, the excited flush to her cheeks, the way her top teeth dig into her bottom lip. And the brief glimpse of childlike exuberance and innocence makes him think of the little girl she’d once been. Full of light and love and sheltered from her mother’s emotional abuse and torment by a father that adored her; his first daughter after a string of rowdy boys. He’d felt it when Millie had been born; the shift from boy dad to girl dad. He’d only had Austin for six years and had spent a lot of time away on tours in the Middle East, but he’d grown accustomed to superhero and sports themed apparel and little baseball caps and high top sneakers. He’d already started coaching soccer and t-ball; Austin a naturally gifted athlete from the time he was old enough to walk. Already into rough housing and climbing trees and jumping into mud puddles; his mother often finding worms and snails and various sized rocks in the pockets of his pants and shirts.

Even though he’d known he was having a daughter and had spent three months fretting over being a failure as a ‘girl dad’, he hadn’t truly felt like one until they’d placed that minutes old baby in his arms. Brand new and all smooth, pink skin and blond hair and impossibly long fingers and toes and slender feet. Her crying immediately ceasing when he’d gathered her tight into his chest; all of her fingers curling around one of his as she gazed up at him with piercing blue eyes. It all hit him at once; the reality that he was a father again -despite believing he never would be- after losing his son and how close he’d come to never even knowing of his daughter’s existence, never mind actually meeting and holding her. His second chance suddenly so clear and so real and all in one room. His tiny yet phenomenally strong and resilient wife exhausted after going through thirty-six hours of labour and now their little girl; wrapped tightly and securely in a pink and blue striped blanket. Her eyes never wavering from his as a nurse tugged a knitted cap onto her head. And in that moment, he’d cried like he’d never cried before. All of the anguish and the regret and the guilt he’d been building up since his son’s death finally coming to a head; mingling with the overwhelming love and adoration and complete awe that he felt for the two women in his life.

He’d become softer that day. Kinder. Gentler. After that his fears of being a girl dad ceased and he easily and effortlessly took to the role. Growing accustomed to the amount of pink in one closet and the amount of frilly socks and tights in one dresser drawer; his large, calloused fingers mastering the buttons on tiny dresses and no longer fumbling with impossibly small hair clips and headbands. He knows what Esme’s father had felt like in that moment he’d held her so many years ago; that softness and tenderness and the ferocious need to protect at all costs that doesn’t normally come with sons. And when he thinks about how all that love had disappeared the moment her dad had taken his last breath, his heart aches for her; a teenage girl suddenly left without her ‘person’ and the only adult that had ever shown her any love and attention.

“What kind is it??” she asks, effectively snapping him back to the ‘here and now’.

“It’s a sea turtle.”

“I know THAT. But what KIND of sea turtle? Can you tell? By looking at its head? Or its shell? You’re usually good at these things. At anything to do with animals. Not a snapper is it?”

“Not with that tail and that head. Looks like a Loggerhead. He IS a big one.”

“Take a picture of it! We can look it up on google on the way home. We can show Addie when she gets home from school. She’ll be so jealous.”

“I feel like I’m with Addie right now,” he teases, and slips his phone from the side pocket of his cargos; snapping a pic of the turtle before turning the camera on his wife. Catching her just as she turns and looks up at him; eyes slightly narrowed in the sun, wayward strands of hair blowing across her face, and a gentle smile curving her lips. So natural and beautiful; nothing but sun kissed skin and messy hair and pure contentment on her face.

“You’re not supposed to take pictures of me!” she scolds, giving him a playful shove and attempting to snatch the phone from his hand. Flashing a pout and dramatically stomping her feet each time he easily evades her; shooting him a glare when he holds the cell above his head. “That’s no fair!” She cries, as she perches on her tiptoes; one hand on his chest to steady herself as the other frantically -and vainly- tries to come in contact with the object being kept from her. “Unfair height advantage! You’re playing dirty!”

“Sweetheart, I can get way more dirty than this and you know it.”

“We’re not talking about THAT. I know how dirty your mind and actions can be. Just give me the phone! This isn’t fair! You’re a full foot taller than I am!”

“A foot and two inches, actually. What are you going to do about it? Besides, all is fair in love and war.”

“You’re supposed to be taking pictures of the turtle. Or of the scenery. Of something beautiful.”

“That’s EXACTLY what I was doing. Taking a picture of the most beautiful thing here.”

They have been brought up to be very mindful about the emotions of others. Especially when it comes to their dad. He's big and strong and to them he's the bravest, toughest guy in the world. So they needed to understand that it's okay that even he shows emotion. That it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed off. As Esme says "Even daddies cry."

2. Only if he's drunk LOL. Although he usually will sing along to something like Waltzing Matilda.

3. Oh, many times. Many, many, many times. And you know what happens? He wakes up to her sleeping next to him lol. She gets lonely, okay?

4. No LOL. He caves quick. She just has to look up at him with those eyes and a little pout and he's done for.

5. For Esme, it's poo. She'd rather catch vomit in her bare hands. Tyler can't even handle hearing someone throwing up. It makes him retch lol

6. Tyler is honestly better at doing the girls' hair lol Esme once told him, he could retire and take up styling professionally. Tyler the Styler, she called him lol

7. Esme always wears the same pair of diamond stud earrings combined with two small hoops in each ear and one at the top cartilage of the left. She also wears a necklace that he had made out of a piece of beach glass Millie found when she was little. Tyler wears a necklace (a black leather cord) that has a dog tag style pendant on it with their combined initials on one side and combined zodiac signs on the other.

8. Tyler would say shower and Esme would say bath. They tend to take more showers together. He has to be talked into a bath because she loves bubbles.

9. Most are extremely well organized and love to garden and be out with the animals, especially the goats. Addie and Brooke both tell stories like Esme does: all over the place. And most have the same squeal and bounce on their heels reaction when they're especially happy or excited.

10. Tyler would go barefoot everywhere if he could. He hates wearing shoes (so do TJ and Tanner, as evidenced in BPOM)

11. Esme can play the piano and the violin (not well, but somewhat good) and Tyler can play the guitar.