What the Earth Already Knew
pairing: toph beifong x reader
summary: you confessed to toph, but she rejected you out of fear, which leads to you running away.
contains: slight angst, hurt/comfort(?), slight homophobia, emotional comfort, established relationship, post-canon,
a/n: im bad at summary...lol? but i had this idea, where since earth kingdom is inspired by asian culture, esp. chinese (correct me if im wrong), and most (trad) chinese families aren't so progressive and understanding esp when it comes to sexuality and love beliefs so in this case, it's like toph struggling and accepting.
Toph Beifong hated being confused. She hated it more than losing. Maybe more than bad tea. But even more when people touch her stuff.
Because when there’s confusion it means there’s uncertainty. Uncertainty meant standing on ground that suddenly didn’t feel solid anymore.
Right now? The ground beneath her felt impossible.
It has been eight days since you ran away from the team. Eight days since your voice cracked while saying: “I like you.” Your fingers fiddled with each other while blush danced on your cheeks.
And it has been eight days since Toph ruined everything. She still hears it sometimes, not the confession, but the silence that comes afterward. The awful silence where she panicked and said things she didn’t even fully believe herself. “You’re confused.”
A silence, then followed by, “This is stupid.”
Every word replayed perfectly. Toph hated herself for how quickly they came out. Like fear had been waiting under her tongue the whole time.
The team didn’t push her much after the third day. Mostly because Toph had become unbearable to be around. Sokka described it as: “Like living beside an angry earthquake.”
Katara described it more accurately. “She misses them.” Toph nearly launched a boulder at her.
It wasn’t until the eighth day that Toph finally admitted something to herself, though not out loud. Never out loud. But alone beneath the trees while everyone slept, she pressed her palms into the earth and finally stopped lying.
The realization should’ve felt terrifying, but instead, it felt obvious. Like finally understanding a language she’d already known how to speak. So why did her chest still hurt?
“I’m gonna find them.” The words slipped out suddenly during breakfast.
Katara blinked. Sokka nearly dropped his food. Aang looked relieved instantly. Zuko just slowly nodded.
Toph crossed her arms defensively. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
Katara stared carefully. “…Okay.”
Toph immediately pointed at her. “That tone was a big deal tone.”
Finding you wasn’t hard. Of course it wasn’t. To Toph, she could still recognize your footsteps anywhere, which made what she found infinitely worse.
Because you sounded…happy.
Toph froze at the edge of a small town marketplace, hidden behind the vibrations of passing crowds.
From afar, your laugh reached her first. The sound was soft and easy.
But what made her even more unsettled was that there was someone else laughing with you. Toph’s stomach dropped instantly.
She focused harder, just to make sure. Another girl is standing beside you. The girl was also from the Earth Kingdom, just like Toph was, with light footsteps, standing close to you. A little too close.
And then, the girl touched your arm like she was a long time friend of yours. It was a little too casual and familiar. Toph felt something ugly twist violently in her chest; jealousy.
The feeling was sharp and immediate. It hit so hard it almost made her dizzy. Which was INFURIATING because eight days ago she was rejecting you. So why did this feel unbearable?
You were smiling at the other girl, which made Toph’s jaw tightened. You sounded relaxed, comfortable even. Like you’d already moved on. And suddenly all Toph could think was: that should be me.
The realization nearly knocked the air out of her because it wasn’t just an attraction anymore.
It wasn’t confusing anymore. It wasn’t fear either. It was want.
And she had thrown it away herself.
The earth seemed to crack beneath her feet before she realized she’s walking toward your direction. You turned immediately. Your expression changed instantly upon seeing her. Shock at first then shifted to uncertainty then finally, guarded. That hurt worse than anger would have.
The other girl noticed that something else caught your attention. She blinked between both of you awkwardly. “…Friend of yours?”
Toph answered immediately. “Yes.”
You answered at the same time. “…It’s complicated.”
The other girl wisely took one step backward. “I’m suddenly remembering somewhere else I need to be.”
And then she disappeared into the crowd immediately.
‘Coward.’ Toph thought. She almost respected it.
Now it was just you again, but nothing felt the same anymore. You looked at her carefully. Not with your usual warmth and not openly either. You weren’t sure what she’d do this time. Toph hated that look, she knew it was because of her. She put it there. “…You seem fine,” she muttered.
You blinked once. “…What?”
Your expression hardened slightly. “You rejected me, Toph.”
The bluntness hit like a punch. Good.
Toph crossed her arms tighter. “Yeah, well.”
She didn’t answer immediately.
Because saying: “I hated seeing someone else make you laugh” felt absolutely humiliating. Instead she muttered: “You moved on fast.”
Your eyes widened in disbelief, then suddenly you let out a laugh. A little hurt by her comment. “A week ago you told me that liking you was stupid.” Toph flinched immediately. You stepped back slightly. “And now you’re upset I talked to someone else?” The truth sat there between you.
Toph looked away first. “…I know,” she muttered.
You stared at her. For the first time since you met her, Toph sounded small. Not angry nor defensive. Just… miserable. “I know,” she repeated quietly.
The marketplace noise felt distant now. You exhaled shakily. “What do you want from me?” That question terrified her because she finally knew the answer now.
your laugh,
your footsteps beside hers,
your hand grabbing her wrist during fights,
the way you softened when saying her name,
all of it.
Admitting that felt like stepping off a cliff willingly. Toph swallowed hard. “…I don’t want you to move on.” Your breath caught slightly. It was selfish, but Toph felt like she had to say it. She continued on before she could lose that courage.
“I know I don’t deserve to ask that.” She said carefully and honestly. “But I hated seeing you with someone else.”
A pause, then quieter: “I hated that I made you think you had to.”
Your expression cracked slightly at that. Not forgiveness, not yet at least, but understanding. Toph took one careful step closer. “I was scared,” she admitted. “And I took it out on you.”
You looked down briefly. “I thought you were disgusted by me.”
Toph’s answer came so fast it almost hurt. “No.” It was immediately laced with certainty.
Then softer: “I was disgusted with myself for not understanding why I wanted you so badly.”
There was a brief moment of silence between you guys. Your heartbeat stumbled unevenly. Toph definitely heard it. Of course she did. And for once, she didn’t run from what it meant.
“I like girls,” she said quietly. The words sounded strange out loud. New, but right.
“…And I like you.” Your eyes burned instantly. Toph shifted awkwardly. “I know this is probably the worst confession ever.”
A weak laugh escaped you despite yourself. “It’s pretty bad.”
“But…” you hesitated. “…kind of honest.”
Toph huffed softly. “That’s the only thing I’m good at.”
Another silence settled. Gentler this time. You looked at her carefully. “What if I’m still hurt?”
Toph nodded immediately. “You are allowed to feel that way, and I’m sorry for making you feel stupid with your feelings.” She apologized properly without any denial and minimization. Just the truth.
“And I’ll probably be stupid about feelings again,” she added.
You snorted softly. “Definitely.”
“But…” Toph swallowed. “…I don’t want anyone else making you laugh like that.”
Your face warmed instantly. “That’s a terrible reason to confess.”
Toph smirked faintly. “Extremely.”
And somehow, that made you laugh again. A real laugh this time. The sound hit Toph’s chest so hard it almost felt unfair, because there it was again.
That feeling, the one she stopped running from.
a/n: happy pride month guys!! yea, erm... another light angst lol??? but this is for those who feels like they are unable to come out to loved ones due to personal situations or uncertainty. know that you should be proud of yourself and never shy away. (i should take my own advice too lol) if they don't accept you, i'll accept you and toph will too :)
also to those who reblogged my first story, thank you :) im pretty new to Tumblr when it comes to being a poster, so i don't know how to reply to reblogs, sorry about that.