last hope

only ever liking male relationships and calling a relationship with a women in it 'het slop'

'she's just not that interesting compared to [insert male character]'

only talking about female characters in a shipping context

treating a female character as an accessory or self-insert next to the male character

calling a female character toxic or bitchy for the same things that a male character gets coddled for

'if you want more fic/art/content about female characters/wlw ships make it yourself'

yuri but it's only genderbent yaoi

saying a female character 'deserves better' and then sidelining her completely

claiming that favouring yaoi is 'escaping misogyny'

a complex female character being used in fics solely as a yaoi cheerleader

female character's mental health gets ignored in favour of a male character's development

female character being reduced to a mom or sister character when they aren't related to x character at all

'her character was so underdeveloped' but then their fav is a man with much less screentime

'fandom isn't activism'

the tag about a female character being 80% shipping content

complex female character being called bitchy while an equally complex male character is adored and coddled

killing a female character off in fic

not listening when women in fandom point out something about the source material being sexist

calling a female character overrated

male character's sexism being excused because 'he didn't know any better/he's mentally ill/he didn't mean it in that way'

giving a male character/mlm ship the same traits that an existing female character already has; while not engaging with that character at all

female character in a straight ship being written ooc because the author only wrote the fic because of the male character

'mean lesbian' trope

'stop dictating how people should play with characters'

'it's not that deep'

canon sapphic ship has about 10% of the fic compared to the non-canon yaoi ship

calling women in fandom hysterical for being upset at how the source material treated a female character

The thing you're saying.

That that thing is worth saying.

That is, speech/writing has a cost to it, in the form of energy and time expended doing it, in the energy and time taken by others to listen to/read it, and the thing you are communicating is implied to be sufficiently valuable to worth that trade-off.

E.g. if you meet a woman and she says, "Hi, I'm Becky, I was born on a Thursday," it would be an odd experience because even if 1 applies, 2 clearly doesn't (unless you are running some kind of day-of-birth study or something ig). There is a hidden meaning of, "you should be aware of the weekday of my birth because it is important," that seems to make no sense.

And yet people will often defend something they have said on the basis of it being strictly true, which is unsatisfactory because it only justifies half of what was communicated by the act of saying it.

If Becky comes along to a queer event and says "Hi, I'm Becky, I'm AFAB," you have to understand that that is not just a neutral statement of fact, it also communicates something like this: "I am aware that if I looked and sounded the same but my sex assignment was different I would be treated differently. I am informing you of my sex assignment right now so that you treat me appropriately hereafter."

And that is just straight-up transmisogyny, both in displaying uncritical acceptance of how prevalent transmisogyny is in queer groups, and in demanding exemption from it. It sounds absurd on the face of it that a cis woman describing herself using entirely true statements can be doing transmisogyny, even in the absence of any transfeminine person or any mention of transfeminity at all. But it's true all the same.