so long, partner

@holtmeclosertinydoggo: @andykinskywalker Alright that's it get your ass over here, we're wrapping you in tin foil and keeping you well away from the potential of any unplanned pregnancies

@andykinskywalker: @holtmeclosertinydoggo DEAL.

@holtmeclosertinydoggo: @andykinskywalker ps I can see you blushing from my hotel room, reel it in bud

Ben was right proud of Andy, he had to admit. While his buddy hadn’t ever done anything for him not to feel a wave of delight, he’d found him especially overjoyed at watching him grow over recent weeks especially. He knew just how startled Andy had been to discover Emily on his doorstep – admittedly, Benjamin couldn’t think of anybody that would react to such a discovery with complete indifference – and how unequipped he’d felt at the prospect of becoming a father. While the two of them had certainly found themselves thrust into fatherhood in the most unconventional manner possible, Ben had still known the Banks’ before he’d taken the two kids in. He’d known them since the day they’d both been born, and while the grief had tried its hardest to crush him entirely, and his newfound responsibilities almost drowning him beneath their weight, he’d pushed through. He’d loved those smiles since the very beginning, and would continue to. Andy, however, hadn’t known Emily, and had been entirely thrown in at the deep end, and now he was standing there, proud as punch as he scooped Jane up into his arms.

Smiling fondly at two of his favourite people in the world, he watched as Jane playfully wrestled Andy, swinging from his neck and thrusting a pink and blue hand through his messy locks. Andy had somehow managed to come into his own, finding that balance between overeager seven year old, and tiny, timid baby, and was taking it all in his stride. It was no secret that he had a little hand from his mother, and even from Benjamin where he could, but all that he’d achieved was his own doing.

“Been a long week without ya, mate,” Ben admitted, grinning. It was true, too. Though he and Jay had been friends for years now, the two of them barely having left one another’s sides back home, and Livvy being the only other consistency in his life, always over his shoulder just when he needed her, the friendship he’d developed with Andy upon moving to Cherry Grove had been unexpected and heartwarming. He was happy to admit that the other man was one of his best friends, despite how short a time they’d known one another in comparison to some of the other people in both of their lives. Andy was like his partner in crime; the two of them could give each other tip’s and impart their wisdom on one another in their ventures into parenthood, while still acting like total children themselves. He kept him young, and a week without Andy time was a draining one, to say the least.

Ben winced as his friend noted that his little girl was asleep, knowing exactly what would follow. And it did. He often wondered if kids, no matter what age they were, had some sort of censor in their brain that was triggered by their guardian finally taking a second to relax. And once that alarm went off, it was as though they sprung back to life, knowing it was their exact duty to put an end to any form of relaxation or peacefulness that might have been unfolding.

He heard a soft ‘uh oh’ emit from Jane, her chin tucked against Andy’s shoulder. Though her back was to him, Ben was sure her eyes were wide, her mouth agape as she stared down the hallway, into the house, no doubt wondering where tiny Emily was. He’d warned her to be gentle with her, and now that she was awake he only hoped she’d stick to her promise.

“Holy cryin’ kiddo, Batman,” Benjamin called out, a rather feeble homage to young Janey’s favourite superhero. Even he recognised just how pathetic his ‘impersonation’ (if you could call it that) had been, but he pushed on anyway. “Blimey, reckon I should just stick to ol’ Alfred instead, actually…”

With that, he reached out, giving Jane a little squeeze around the waist, before sidestepping the two of them and making his way into the house, following the sound of a crying Emily.

“Come on then, you two. Get them capes on, s'our time to shine, init,” he informed them, charging forward.

With Andy’s love of comics, and a Jane who was now giggling behind him, he hoped he could at least lift their spirits a little while they tried to calm down the newest addition to the Davis clan. Sure, maybe Andy wouldn’t be laughing with him so much as he’d be laughing at him, but a laugh was a laugh, weren’t it? Besides, Benjamin was well aware he didn’t exactly look like your average superhero, certain that neither Marvel or DC were quite in the market for a Punmaster just yet.

As the sound of Emily crying filled his tiny house, Andy felt guilty when he noted his relief upon realising Ben was here to help him. His friend’s adoption of Jane and Michael was only a recent development, he knew that, but it still meant the other man was much more of a seasoned parent than he was. It wasn’t Ben’s responsibility to sort out Andy’s problems though, but right now he was desperate for someone to tell him what to do.

Ben didn’t seem to even hesitate when he heard the sound, marching into Andy’s house and leaving the blonde man clinging onto Jane and reflecting on his first mistake; he shouldn’t wait when he heard Emily crying. Surely, he should be running towards her to make she was okay, right? Glancing over his shoulder at Ben’s retreating figure, he heaved a sigh and turned his helpless look onto Jane.

“I suck at this parenting thing,” he told her, allowing her to scramble down his frame like a little monkey so she could drop to the floor and take his bigger hand in hers. Clutching onto her like she was the adult and he was the kid in want of a much-needed dose of comfort, he tugged her along as the two of them followed Ben to the room where Emily was screaming up a storm.

His baby sure had one hell of a lung capacity on her, practically bringing the roof down with her cries and he winced as he stepped into the room seeing as the noise only got even louder. He felt mildly embarrassed as he looked around the place, not having had a chance to decorate it yet and help it look a little more like a nursery; lightsabers were stacked against the wardrobe, various cosplay pictures of himself and Penny hung on the walls and the shelves around them were covered in towering piles of paper. His unfinished manuscripts of totally unoriginal comic books were high in number, and that wasn’t exactly something he was proud of. His fickle nature, meant he couldn’t finish anything – bar the thing that had like, brought Emily into the world.

“Oh, watch your feet,” he told Jane who’d nearly tripped over a Darth Vader action figure he’d left on the ground. He hauled Jane up from under her armpits and deposited her safely next to Ben who was standing by Emily’s cot. Joining them, Andy stared down at his red-faced bawling baby as she wriggled her legs and sobbed.

“I just – I dunno what’s wrong with her!” he said, raking a hand through his hair. “I’ve fed her, I’ve burped her, I’ve changed her three times, but she still keeps crying. What am I doing wrong?” he asked Ben, staring with frantic eyes at his best friend in the hopes that he’d have all the answers.

Hollywood can stick her in fancy dresses and cover her in glitter and make her look all fancy and shit, but she’s still the biggest goofball I’ve ever met. Such a dork.

Your daughter is gonna grow up, and so are you. You’re gonna be old and decrepit. Your hair’s gonna gray, and you’ll be all wrinkly and ugly, dude. Sucks, right? 

Yeah? Well... your boobs are gonna sag.

It’s okay, the boobs are doing better now. Thanks for the concern.

This isn’t neverland, buddy, ol’ pal. 

Glad to hear it.

Shhhh, I can’t read suddenly.

You didn’t break her spirit! She’s got plenty spirit! The first time I held her, she headbutted me in the nose and then proceeded to throw up all over my boobs and made it look like it was the best thing that had ever happened to her in her teeny tiny life. She’s got so much spirit. Maybe even too much.

She’s gonna be fine, you goob. You’re not gonna kick her in the shins, and she’s gonna crawl again. And then she’ll walk. And then she’ll run, and dance, and date cute boys or girls, and then she’ll follow in her favorite person’s footsteps - that’s me, by the way - and become a worldwide sensation. And one day she’ll stand on a stage and accept her golden globe, and she’ll tell the story of how she overcame her fear of crawling to get there, even after her daddy pushed her over. 

Smells Like Infant Spirit. (That’s the lesser known Nirvana song.) Sorry about your boobs.

Why are you talking like she’s not going to stay a baby forever? Which is exactly what she’s going to do.

Yes she will. Quit being dramatic, you baby. That’s my job. You didn’t break her, you just… knocked her confidence a little.

Haha, get it? ‘Cause, you knocked over. You… yeah, okay. Point is, she’ll crawl again. Just, when she starts walking, make sure you don’t go kicking her in the shins or anything. 

Yeah, but what if I broke her spirit?

Penny, we can’t joke about my kid never learning basic motor skills. I’m not gonna kick her in the shins! I think the solution is just that I never tell you about it.

SHE’S A BABY. In case you had forgotten. Not so good with the balance thing. That’s sorta why the whole crawling thing was so wicked cool, dude. 

Shit, she’s never gonna crawl again.

Well, I was. But only on the basis that you stall her so I get to see her crawl. I told you not to push her. So now i’m on my way over for totally different reasons.

And, hey! Don’t blame me for the fact that you just pushed your infant child! That’s, like, not cool. 

I didn’t mean to! I wanted to stall her so I just tried to like... halt her. And she fell over!

Oh, dude… Dude. Do I need to come over and kiss her cute little face and tell her that her daddy is a moron and not to take it personally? 

... Yes.

Wait, I thought you were coming over anyway. That’s why I pushed her! Did I just push her and make her scared of crawling for nothing?

I SAID TELL HER NOT PUSH HER. ANDY DAVIS DO NOT PUSH THAT CHILD OVER!!! 

... I think I just pushed my daughter over.

TELL HER TO STOP UNTIL I GET THERE!!!!!!!!!! 

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, PUSH HER OVER?