tourmaline

His back aches when he reaches the final step, arms reaching out clumsily to push his body up, causing him to sigh in relief as he finally makes into the small attic.

The moldy smell from keeping the place locked up too long crawls its way into his nostrils, throat closing around several coughs. He hurriedly opens the nearest window, then proceeds to open the rest of them as he ventures further into the room, the air circulating much better.

The attic is filled with cardboard boxes covered in dust, a few old cribs and antique paintings Taehyung could not bring himself to throw away. Eventually, he finds the box he’s looking for, damaged by the years it has been up there all alone, so long after he last touched it. Seeing it brings a little closed mouth smile to his face, a protective hand coming up over it. 

He dusts it off a little bit, brings it over to his lap before tightening his hold on the precious object. The wind rushes in and out gently, a sweet breeze that allows Jungkook to breathe patiently until he’s ready. It’s a suffocating feeling that keeps him from opening it, that makes his hovering fingers shaky and his lip tremble.

Trying to gather every bit of courage he’s ever had, Jungkook opens the box.

Inside, a big coral photo album stands out, spine decorated with silver sequins because Taehyung said they should “go all out, baby”.

The image in the cover shows two connected golden rings, the initials KTH and JJK engraved in them give Jungkook a reason to genuinely smile for the first time since he’s arrived in attic, make him rotate the one on his finger, still displaying his husband’s name. The promise written underneath the picture, the words neither of them will ever forget, drains the color out of Jungkook’s face, but his eyes are soft and sorrowful, his smile never wavering as he stares down at it.

‘Even after the end’

Besides the album, there’s a bunch of pictures laying around, all of them which were a pain to develop but Taehyung did it anyways because Jungkook didn’t trust a CPU that can be easily destroyed with a cup of water to hold his most cherished memories. He touches one of them, one from their early days, his and Taehyung’s young faces staring back at him, all smiles and youthful expressions.

Digging further into the pile, he takes out the loose pictures, leaving in the fancy wedding album and small packets of images Jungkook had organized by time period a few years ago.

A few years ago, when he understood just how important memories were..

That said, Jungkook begins to remember. 

Remembers the friendship, light-hearted and fun, before romance came into the picture and shook the ground under his feet.

•••

“Yah, Jungkook!” Taehyung’s all smiles when Jungkook enters the classroom, waving him over.

His feet are up on the desk next to him, guarding Jungkook’s place in an unnecessary way.

Still, Jungkook wonders, when has Taehyung been anything less than extra? 

“Hi.” He greets back, shyly.

The boxy smile he gets when he arrives to his seat is teasing with a glint of genuine happiness, just like every morning. “Heard you went off the tracks last night, Jeon. Got blackout wasted, huh?” His voice overflows with unreleased laughter before he sighs with fake regret. “Shame I didn’t get to see it, damn finals for taking out my chance to experience drunk Jungkook.”

The law major throws his backpack over the other’s feet, sitting defeatedly. “Well, drunk Jungkook is a pain in the ass and doesn’t know how to drink.” He puts his head on the top of his backpack, hands coming up to hold it in the desperate effort to give him some kind of relief. “This hangover is going to kill me, man.”

Taehyung laughs at his miserable state, taking out his phone quickly to snap a picture of the suffering boy. “Aww, Jungkookie’s first hangover.” He keeps laughing.

That laughter, deep and booming, as much as it should worsen Jungkook’s headache, only makes him chuckle, light and affectionate.

•••

Looking back, he thinks it’s fair to consider this one of the moments that marked the start of his freefall.

Falling in love, Jungkook recalls, was never easy.

•••

His hands are just perfect wrapped around his waist, their breath mingling in the space in between their mouths, tension high and choking, broken only by a whisper.

“I don’t think we should do this.” Taehyung says, licking his lips. 

Jungkook gets closer as he replies. “Yeah, It’s a bad idea.”

He can’t see the other man’s expression, eyes closed from fear of being too overwhelmed by their proximity, but he imagines it must resemble his own, desperate, afraid, begging. 

“Promise me.” At this point, Jungkook feels the sentence rather than hearing it. “Promise me this is not gonna ruin us.” His own neck hair stand up, a little shiver running through him. “I need to know, Kook. I need to know this isn’t gonna take you away from me.”

It was never a simple friendship, they knew. 

They weren’t your average buddies who hung out because of circumstances, belonging to the same friend group, sharing some classes or being at the right time and right bar together. Even if it started like that, It wasn’t as simple anymore.

Jungkook likes to think they were little plants when they met and, as time passes, as the nights filled with alcohol and secrets confessed in the dark started to become more frequent, their roots began to interlace, to grow together as if they were one only.

Because, in the end, Taehyung made Jungkook flourish. Made his leaves healthier, worshipped his petals like it were his own, made Jungkook want to give back everything he’s ever done for him. Because of it, he can’t think of one reason to not cross the line, to not stand tall as the fully grown man his best friend helped him become, to not admit what he wants and to not take it.

So after five years of friendship, Jungkook crosses the line. “Please kiss me.”

Thankfully, “Fuck, I can do that.” Taehyung meets him there.

•••

A million kisses later, Jungkook still can’t help but be reminded of the day he accepted them as soulmates, the time when everything was just good.

Ah, yes. Jungkook thinks, as he picks up another picture, I remember the good times.

•••

“She’ll be here any second now.” The woman wears a slim gray blazer and bright red heels, their clicking the only thing the lawyer is able to focus on as she walks away.

His nervousness must be showing because the next second a warm hand slips in his closed fist, threading their fingers together, a grounding sensation so necessary Jungkook thinks ‘relief’ doesn’t cut it. 

“Calm down.” The deep voice comes from his right, but his eyes are focused ahead, the path where the woman went off to. “We’ve been through the worst, now all we have to do is wait.”

Jungkook’s head drops. “It’s so unbelievable, It just doesn’t seem real.” Tears prickle the back of his eyes, mocking the situation. “We went through so much to get here and now that we’re here…” The lump on his throat stops him before a sob can.

Taehyung’s other hand, that was still on his hunched back, begins to move, comforting. “I know, honey. We’ve been through this together, remember?” Jungkook thinks he’s smiling but he doesn’t trust himself to look up to check and not cry. “All the courts, the contracts, the house visits, the interviews. It’s over now, all we can do is wait.” 

Jungkook just inhales and exhales quietly. “I know, I know.” He whispers it like a mantra, calming himself down.

That is, until the clicking heel sound begins to approach, along with innocent little giggles.

Jungkook looks up quickly, almost breaking his neck in the process. He must look a mess, he’s sure, eyes red from struggling against the tears, hair sticking out and face an overwhelm of emotions. Fortunately, a sharp intake of breath next to his ear tells him he’s not the only one.

Because when the social worker comes back, holding hands with the 3 year old the couple have been trying since her birth to adopt, Jungkook feels as if his heart is shattering and being put together a million times over. 

Her other little hand is holding a white balloon with festive symbols and black lettering that says, from what Jungkook can make out in his weakened state, ‘I’m going home today’.

Taehyung breaks the silence, as usual. “Oh my god.” His arms envelop Jungkook from his side, lifting him up as he stands up. “We did it, Kook. We really did it.” 

The man feels like sobbing just so he doesn’t have to answer, too speechless, but he does come closer, fiercely wanting to be close to the small girl. At the same moment, her happy eyes turn from the women to the pair staring at her through the conference room glass door, widening with excitement as recognition sets in.

“Papa!” Minsoo sets off on a little clumsy run, leaving the social worker and the balloon behind, smile big and short hair jumping excitedly around her.

Both men approach the door expectedly, hands tight on each other and silent tears run on Jungkook’s face. It’s almost in slow motion, how she finally makes it to the door handle and the social worker, having caught up to the child, turns it and allows Minsoo to step into the room.

It’s like the air is forced out of his lungs and he falls on his knees more than lowers down to match her height but It doesn’t matter, because Taehyung is the same as him and the girl he’s been fighting for years to call his daughter is wrapping her short arms around then.

He cries hard as his hand go up to cup the back of her head, meeting his husband’s hand there. 

He cries hard as she says “Don’t cry, papas! Minsoonie is here now.” Her stumbling of words and not fully developed pronunciation also not helpful in making Jungkook’s tears stop.

The man looks to the side he can’t help the blinding smile he cracks when he meets Taehyung’s eyes, never being more happy in his life.

•••

That feeling, even after so many years, is one of the best things that ever happened to him. When he got to finally hold his daughter and call her his, take her home and show her the room they built for her, that memory is still one to leave Jungkook breathless.

Happened the next time too, even if it was less of a hustle for the adoption papers to go through, 1 year and 8 months instead of 3 full years, he still felt that same breathlessness as Wooseok’s big eyes looked up to him and asked, “Are you gonna be my dad now?”

Taehyung, as always, held him and onto him through it, ever the great man he is.

The great man he was. The hurt voice in Jungkook’s head speaks, but he knows enough to talk back at it now.

He is, he always will be.

Don’t be mistaken, the man wasn’t always like this. In his youth, Jungkook would be insecure about everything and anything, having left his mother’s wing too soon or never been under it may be the cause, but one can never know.

•••

“You’re beautiful, you know?” Taehyung says. They’re not even in bed, where usually this type of compliments comes up, rather they’re sat across each other on the McDonald down the street from Jungkook’s dorm room and the boy is munching on a Big Mac with extra sauce, little bits escaping his mouth and dirtying his lips. “I don’t think I tell you that enough.”

Jungkook tries to swallow the best he can. “Where is this coming from?”

“Can’t I compliment my boyfriend?” Taehyung smirks, always teasing and satisfied with the way his boyfriend’s cheeks burn everytime. 

The law major just rolls his eyes and sets his burger down, beginning to clean his fingers with a paper napkin. “So weird.” After he’s finished, however, he picks it up again.

“I can compliment you all day, baby. Beautiful, smart…” His eyes harden, a bit more serious, firmer. “Competent. Hardworking. Amazingly bright.” The art major decisively speaks, reaching out with one hand to set down Jungkook’s burguer for him and hold his hand with the other one. “You’ll do amazing on this mock trial, I know it. Stop stress eating.”

Doey-like eyes glare at Taehyung, hating how he’s able to read him so well, how he’s known him for long enough to point out his bad habits. “I haven’t studied enough and I know that, I kept telling myself to follow my schedule but never did and then I didn’t have enough time to do study like I wanted to.” Anxiety burns inside his belly, an uncomfortably hot sensation spreading all over his guts, reaching his lungs and making it hard to breathe. “I don’t know that much about the case, I can’t lean on the skills I don’t have, I- I’m gonna fail and be publicly humiliated, Tae.” 

Taehyung just keeps running his thumb on the skin of Jungkook’s palm. “Is your part the first one?” He’s so calm Jungkook would say he’s really put together, that is if he hadn’t ever seen Taehyung stab a painting with a paint brush handle and fling it across the room while yelling in frustration. The soon to be public joke, in his own opinion, shakes his head. “Then you need to breathe, alright baby? Just breathe for me right now, like we practiced, come on.” 

The artist starts to inhale deeply and Jungkook follows, syncing up their breathing with each gulp of air he intakes. Soon, Taehyung stops and lets the man do it on his own. “That’s good. So what I think you should do is study a bit more on your way there, then when you’re inside pay attention to what they’re speaking, connect that with what you can remember and use it to support your arguments.” He puts a hand in Jungkook’s chest, arms straining a bit from stretching over the table. “And remember to breathe. You’ll get confident with time, but now you need to remember to breathe.”

That’s what he always say, what his therapist always say, what his family always say. ‘Keep doing your treatment, Jungkook. Take care of yourself, Jungkook. Trust yourself, Jungkook. We’re here for you.’

Maybe he believes it a bit more when it’s Taehyung saying it.

•••

Jungkook clearly remembers that mock trial, how he got the second best grade in class even if his hands were shaking all throughout his speech, the way he threw himself into bed first thing and slept until Taehyung came home. His boyfriend took care of him at that time, made him food and got him some aspirin for his head, didn’t ask too many questions because Taehyung never needed to.

It’s not like he’s the only working branch of the relationship either, Jungkook gave back as much as he took and he did it with pleasure, a fundamental need to always be there for his husband as much as he was for him.

The picture from Wooseok fifth birthday makes him grab the box with all his strength and dump all its contents on the floor, pictures all spread out in front of him, his life all before his eyes.

•••

The backyard is decorated with red and blue balloons, towels and other party things Taehyung managed to buy from Party City, they brought the picnic table closer to the house, cake and sweets on top of it, and also some inflatable toys they could rent last minute to entertain the kids.

Kids, who are running around everywhere, some from Wooseok’s kindergarten and others who are family friend’s children, playing tag or hide and seek, just having fun. Jungkook looks over to his five year old, who just touched a girl shorter than him and ran away giggling, wearing the spiderman costume Jimin got for him and smiles, glad he’s having fun too.

His ‘hawk-parent’ watch, as his husband loves to call it, is broken by a hand curling itself around his shoulder, making him turn around. As he does, he’s faced with a couple, a man and a woman, both with faces open and hopeful, their gray hair and wrinkles completing the look of ‘loving grandparents’. 

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kim.” Jungkook smiles tightly. He’s heard he’s a great host and he’d like to keep that reputation, thank you very much. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Oh, sweetie. We wouldn’t miss our grandson’s birthday for the world!” The lady, Hanseul, pushes a wrapped gift into his hands. “Here’s a little present for Wooseokie. There’s a receipt in it, so you can exchange it if it doesn’t fit him.”

The lawyer smiles cordially back. “Thank you.”

“Can you find Taehyung for us?” Jaeho, the man, speaks, ever as subtle as a wild horse, not softening even with the effect of time. “Please?” Or maybe a tiny bit.

“Of course, Mr. Kim. Please, make yourselves comfortable, I’ll go get him for you.” Jungkook leaves without a reply, setting the gift down on the corner he’s been using as a gift holder, and starts to look for Taehyung, last time seen somewhere near the inflatable slide.

The man finds him inside the bouncy house, having a heated argument with Minsoo.

“Woah, Minsoo. Haven’t your father and I taught you anything?” Taehyung firmly says. “Peppa pig is always superior!”

Their 7 year old daughter has a red face, fists shaking in the air to prove her argument. “No Daddy, it’s not! Dog patrol is much, much better!”

“Yeah? How much?” Her father goads her. “Show me.”

Ever the determined girl, she stands up the best she can in the soft surface and stretches her arms to the maximum. “This much, look! Daddy, it’s a LOT! A LOT! Dog patrol is ALWAYS better than Peppa Pig.”

Taehyung sighs in fake disappointment. “I didn’t want to do this but you leave me no choice.” He puts one hand up and boops Minsoo’s small nose slightly, making her lose her already unstable balance.

Jungkook stares lovingly as she squeals and then laughs loudly as her father starts to tickle her. “Daddy! I’m sorry! Peppa pig is better, i know! I know!” She makes out in between laughter. 

Her other dad standing outside the bouncy house clears his throat loudly, arching one brow. “ I’m sorry to interrupt. “ The pair looks at him, giggles silent for a second before ressurging. 

“Papa! Come in! Come here and tell Daddy Dog Patrol is much better than Peppa Pig.” Minsoo taps both hands on the soft inflatable material and, really, how could Jungkook ever refuse?

He gets to them quickly, hugging his daughter and setting her down in his lap. “It is, sweetheart. Daddy just needs to tell Papa something before he goes back to the party, okay? Can you leave us for a bit?” Her wide eyes seem to widen more. “It won’t be long, I promise. We’ll be right with you.” 

She sighs unhappily, but complies, leaving after kissing their cheeks. “There’s the candy you like on the kitchen counter, honey! Don’t forget to take off your shoes if you’re gonna get in!” He screams after her, before turning to his husband.

Taehyung’s not looking up, he’s looking down, fiddling nervously with his fingers. 

Jungkook speaks up. “Your parents are here.”

“I know.” The reply is instant, ready as if he’s been expecting the question. “I saw them come up to you and the first thing I did was hide here.”

“Are you gonna go out talk to them?” Jungkook’s voice is gentle, his hand already moving to stand over the other’s. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Taehyung scoffs. “I invited them, Kook, of course I have to go.” He breathes in sharply. “I’m just a coward.” 

“Stop.” Jungkook says firmly. “You’re not a coward, Tae. It’s not your fault they chose to not raise their own son.” 

His husband looks away from his fingers and stares into his eyes. “I’m hiding in a children’s toy Kook, I had to have you get me, I couldn’t be there at the door greeting them like my relationship with them is great because everybody and their mothers knows it isn’t.” 

The younger man gets closer, his gaze gentle and guiding. “What is it that you tell me, huh?” He urges. “On my bad days, you say ‘There’s no shame in being taking care of’, don’t you? Don’t you believe in that?”

Taehyung can’t hold his stare, but tightens his hold on Jungkook’s hand. “Yes.” He chokes out. “But, It’s different-”

“How, Tae? How is it any different?” Jungkook searches for his eyes, cups his face with his free hand. “You did so well inviting them, don’t you remember what you said when I asked you why did you invite them?” Taehyung bites his lip to hold back his tears, he supposes. “You said to me. ‘Because they’re still my family’. And you’ve never been more brave than when you stand up for your family, so I fully believe you can do this.” Jungkook tucks the man’s hair behind his ear. “But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. You just can.”

Taehyung closes his eyes, breathes for some times, enjoying the calming presence of his soulmate. “Let’s go.”

•••

And so they went, Taehyung confronted his parents after so many years, his husband’s hand on his back being the source of his strength, and if he cried into Jungkook’s arms when they layed in bed at night, no one but them needs to know.

Because that’s what love is about, staying through the good, the very good, the bad and the very bad. It’s right there in the wedding vowels, for better or for worse.

And oh, did it get worse.

•••

Jungkook doesn’t think he’s ever seen the sky this gloomy, the air this sad.

They got the call when they were about to leave for the yearly dinner party Jungkook’s firm organizes, Taehyung was laughing at the inability of the younger man to do his own tie, even in his full adult status. 

He wasn’t laughing after picking up the phone. 

He didn’t speak, he just shook, from head to toe, until he fell on his knees and let out an excruciating scream, startling Jungkook, who was in the bathroom finishing getting ready.

Jungkook remembers it clearly, the pain in Taehyung’s face and how alarmed it made him, how he only remembered to take the phone from his hands after holding him for a couple of minutes.

On the phone, Taehyung’s mom’s voice is heard. “Hello?” Her voice seems weird and Jungkook can’t tell if It’s because he can’t keep the phone still, since Taehyung’s sobs uninterrupting are moving his body erratically, or if she’s just cried for a hundred hours.

“Mrs. Kim?” He’s sure Taehyung’s crying can be heard from the other side of the line, even if it is muffled by the way he’s pressing his entire face into Jungkook’s body like he needs it to survive. “What happened?” He doesn’t dare to raise his voice higher than a mere whisper.

“Taehyung’s grandmother died.” 

Taehyung’s grandmother, who raised him for most of his life until he had enough to move out and go to college, who educated him, who cared for him and listened to his cries everyday, who made him into the man he is today. 

“The nursing home called as soon as they could, she didn’t make it to the hospital.”

She, who welcomed Jungkook with open arms when Taehyung didn’t introduce him as a “friend” anymore, who gave him tips on how to handle her grandson when he was sick, who eased his insecurities when he didn’t think he deserved his boyfriend.

“They told us,” Hanseul hiccups. “that she wasn’t in any pain.”

Taehyung’s grandmother, who has been suffering with Alzheimer’s disease for 7 years.

“Please tell Taehyungie that, I need to go.”

Jungkook hangs up and holds Taehyung through his grief, tears streaming down his face.

They spent hours in that position, hugging on the floor, until the sobs melted into soft whimpers, pressed hard in the crook of his neck, and Jungkook got them both up, off the floor and onto the bed.

 It was almost as if a dark cloud was hovering above them, pressuring and terrifying, the room brimming with what can only be described as a heavy grief, a deep state of melancholy and disbelief.

Jungkook held Taehyung close that night, after removing the party clothes and tucking them under the blankets. Kissed away his tears and kept their bodies glued together until you could no longer hear whimpers of pain, only soft snores.

The younger man shut his eyes, dreading the time they’d have to wake up and face reality.

-

The next day, Taehyung didn’t speak at all until they had dressed, fed and sent off the kids to school, body moving by muscle-memory only, used to their everyday routine.

He’s settling Wonseok into the child safety seat under Jungkook’s worried gaze, who’s standing on the other end of the car backseat, buckling Minsoo in. Taehyung finishes it without a word, pecking his son’s forehead and stretching over him to kiss his other child’s cheeks, before closing the car door gently.

Jungkook makes to exit the car to look at his husband retreat to the house, when he feels a weak tug on his shirt. 

He looks down to see Minsoo staring up at him with tearful eyes. “Why is papa sad?”

Although it is a dreadful thing to say out loud, sometimes he damns his daughter's high perception level.

She doesn’t ask if he is sad, doesn’t ask if her dad is mad at her, because she knows better.

He can’t answer, so he does the second best thing. 

“He’ll be okay, sweetie. Don’t worry.” He says, kissing the crown of her head.

The car radio is playing loudly as Jungkook drives, children dancing and singing along excitedly. When they arrive, the man helps them out of the car and sends them off with a “Have a nice day at school!”.

The drive back home is tense, his heart beating down worriedly, each pump of blood sending ice running through his veins. 

He finds Taehyung in their bedroom, lying on his side, back facing the door where Jungkook stands, his phone discarded on the mattress behind him. The painter must’ve hear his footsteps climbing the stairs, because the next moment he speaks:

“The funeral is in five days.” His voice is raspy, defeated tone making Jungkook’s shoulder droop. 

He kicks his shoes off, knees hitting the bed, body almost magnetically being pulled to wrap itself around his husband, nose dipping in the crook of his neck.

Taehyung’s heartbeat is surprisingly slow, his chest rising steadily, whole aura dimmer than usual. 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” He croaks out, tone void of emotion, just letting it out because Taehyung was never good at staying quiet for long. “You saw it, Jungkook. You were there with me, she couldn’t even talk anymore, she had to have someone helping her everyday all day, with her when she went to the toilet, to eat.” His chest gets rigid with unshed tears, breath shaky. “She wasn’t living.”

Jungkook’s hands meet each other on Taehyung’s chest, running up and down in hopes to soothe him, stop his crying before it begins again. 

“She wasn’t living, but I’m still sad she died.” 

He turns around in the younger man’s arms, forcing Jungkook to face him.

‘Oh my god.’ The lawyer thinks, since the sight of his lover’s crumpled, hurt face makes his eyes water. And It’s hard to keep the tears in, especially after Taehyung whispers again, hesitantly.

“Isn’t that selfish, Kook?” His eyes resemble Minsoo’s from this morning: Wide, tearful and staring at Jungkook for answers. “She wasn’t even herself, but I still wanted her to live.”

“It’s not selfish, baby.” He can’t hold back the little droplets that escape his eyes. “You loved her, you wanted to be able to see her. It’s okay.”

Taehyung’s lips are downturned when he sees Jungkook’s eyes, a hand coming up to thumb his cheekbone. “Don’t cry, she never liked to see you cry.”

“I don’t think she’d like to see you cry either, Taehyungie.” He replies, voice thick with tears. “They said she wasn’t in any pain.”

“Yeah.” A draft of a smile is seen on the painter’s tear stained face. “It’s okay.”

And they stay like that, holding each other, breathing in and out quietly, because they truly never needed many words to speak. 

They hold each other when the kids come back from school and they have to tell them that they grandmother just passed away, Minsoo’s face confused and hurt, while Wooseok’s just confused as to why his fathers are crying.

“Why?” It’s Minsoo, always questioning everything around her, just as she was taught, even in this extreme situation.

Jungkook speaks first. “She was sick, darling, very sick, but she’s in a better place now. She always loved you very much, okay?” The small children both nod attentively.

Wooseok isn’t that great at talking yet, his developing teeth making his speech awkward. “Is papa gonna be sick too?” His lips come together on a pout.

Jungkook’s pretty sure Taehyung’s face just paled, but he can’t be too sure why, so he replies for him. “No, sweetheart. He won’t.” He assures them. 

‘I’m so grateful’, Jungkook thinks, as his children come to hug them both, the only way they know to make their dad feel better, caringly and innocent.

Jungkook and Taehyung hold onto each other until the end of the week, trying to keep being functional, until the funeral day.

And when it comes, they hold each other’s hang throughout the dreary day, their children clinging to their legs. There’s not a tear in sight anymore, Taehyung’s stone cold stance never wavering, not even when he has to go up and talk on the stand.

It’s heartbreaking, really, seeing his husband say goodbye to the most important woman in his life, his hand trailing over her casket in an almost longingly manner. He recites the speech he prepared, the one he read to Jungkook last night, just to check if he wasn’t gonna completely break down the moment he said it out loud.

Yesterday, he did. Today, he stands all poise and posture, looking into Jungkook’s eyes for a moment before lowering his gaze to the 7 year old hugging his waist and the 5 year old in his arms.

The lawyer could only expect that, at least, the sight of his family brought him a little light, in between all this darkness.

The artist ends his speech with his voice not as stable, coming down quickly to be back at his family’s side. He grabs Jungkook’s hand again when he arrives, features twisting horribly when they start to lower the casket down.

It ends pretty quickly, Jungkook taking the kids to the car after Taehyung told him he’d stay behind for a little while. He hasn’t shed a tear since they stepped a foot in this graveyard and even if his eyes are red and swollen when he comes back, Jungkook can’t say for sure he has.

They spend the rest of the day at home, basking in their family weekend routine, maybe with less movies and smiles than usual.

-

It doesn’t happen until two weeks after Taehyung’s grandmother’s funeral.

He’s just fresh out of the shower, ready to get rid of the stress arguing all day gives him by lying on his bed and sleeping, but his plans change once a rough voice speaks itself.

“I set an appointment for next week. I’m going to get my genoma tested for Alzheimer’s.” His face is pale, bottom lip stuck between his teeth, body long and stiff displayed out in their mattress.

It’s silent for a while, the words hovering heavily on the air.

“Why?” Jungkook breathes out, he can’t understand really, why would Taehyung ever do this. “Those tests don’t give you a precise conclusion, Tae. It’s just a chance.”

The man on the bed snaps. “Because I need to know,” His eyes lock into Jungkook’s and there’s panic in them, desperation and hopelessness too big to fit into words. “I need to know If I have a chance of losing my family.”

Shaking his head, Jungkook continues. “I can’t tie you to a bed and stop you from going, but I don’t like it.” He comes closer to Taehyung, puts his hands over his husband’s cold ones. “You’re healthy now, Tae. What good is this going to bring? There’s no point in trying to guess the future if you’re not gonna live your present like you’re supposed to.” 

His stare is relentless and Jungkook knows this battle was lost before they even began talking. “I’m gonna go through with it, Kook. I didn’t tell you because I know you wouldn’t approve,” He smiles faintly, almost nostalgic. “You did always like to stick to the present, didn’t you?” He sighs, removing his hands from where they pressed against Jungkook’s, instead he goes for his lover’s face, holding it gently, thumbing his jawline carelessly. “I told you because I want you to come with me.” 

Jungkook’s face features twist unpleasantly. “Of course I’m coming with you,” He’s borderline offended Taehyung would ever think otherwise. “We’re in this together, no matter what comes back from that test, alright?” 

He gets a grin back, Taehyung moving too fast for Jungkook to follow, pecking his husband’s lips gently. “Even after the end, right?” He chuckles throatily.

But Jungkook knows this is not a joke at all, more so an attempt to diffuse the somber mood before they head to bed, so he says it surely and evenly.

“Even after the end.”

•••

It was a turning point, in Jungkook’s opinion, when they got back from that test, a result that changed their lives forever.

No matter what it was, Jungkook always prided himself in one promise he’s never broken, the one kissed onto his skin, whispered into his ears many times, the one that stuck with them even after everything wasn’t everything anymore.

We’re in this together, Taehyung used to say it more often, but the ex-lawyer appropriated the line in the last decade, a small reassurance everytime they needed something to remind them they were never alone.

And how they hated being alone.

•••

“But you promised!” Jungkook shrieks.

“I did no such thing!” Jimin argues back. 

Jiminpark Never felt anything like this! Japan is amazing J Glad to have @joonie by my side <3

1,763 likes • 455 comments

SmileHoya Got @suga and @seokjin78 to come down to the studio ;) i’m the GOD of persuasion ahah

             367 likes • 98 comments

Pop!

The sound echoes through the empty shop, hitting every corner and coming back to Jungkook’s ears like a taunting haunt, a reminder that he’s been chewing on this bubblegum for so long it has become rubbery and tasteless, but he guesses that’s a pretty appropriate way to describe his mood right now.

Time doesn’t seem to go by any faster as he lazily scrolls down his instagram timeline for the bazillionth time this evening, which he would probably be yelled at for doing during the day shift, but since he’s the only one here at this time and the walls don’t talk, Jungkook is off the hook. 

God, I hope the walls don’t talk. He rolls his eyes before putting his phone down and flexing the muscles on his back, stretching out the effects of being in the same position for several hours.

He looks up slightly, cringing at how his reflexion looks on the refrigerator’s door, hair being squished down by the stupid pink cap he has to wear, oily bangs sticking uncomfortably to his forehead. 

He’s about to take the hat off to fix the mess sitting at the top of his head, or what Jungkook would better consider a fucking raccoon, because at this point it smells just as bad as it looks, the hours spent in the kitchen having made the fried donut oil smell linger between the strands, bothering his sensitive nose and making his late night snack threaten to come back where it came from, when he shrugs and slumps back down on the kitchen wall. 

What’s a little more water thrown into the fact of a man standing in the rain, huh? 

Here, ladies, gentlemen and non-binary folks, is what you call the Third Level of Nightshift Jungkook, The Unbothered Jungkook, three hundred fire trucks could go by and another thousand run him over, at this time of the evening, the boy would not care.

So if he’s still obligated to stay for the rest of his shift and not immediately go home, shower and take this fucking smell off him, it’s safe to say he’ll complain all the way through it.

The moment the bell sound rings through the store, signaling someone’s just opened the front door, Jungkook’s completely enraptured in a twitter thread that describes in detail each cheating Justin Bieber has ever done to Selena Gomez and, oh god, does the boy know he’s reached the Fourth and Final Nightshift Jungkook Level, the guy who once read the entire bee movie script and then recited it, in both trot and shakesperian style, all to not have his grave say 

Jeon Jungkook, 1997 - 2019

Gone too soon, ‘cos he died of boredom.

The thing is: No one comes during the night. He’s had many arguments about this with his manager, fucking Sean, how no one ever comes and the company is wasting money and resources by keeping the shop open at a time where literally no one wants to buy a dumb donut. 

Clubs? Absolutely can be open at the night. Bars? Hell yeah. Pharmacies? Always necessary. Supermakets? Everyone needs a good groceries run at midnight sometimes.

But a donut shop? Not to mention opening only during the day would allow Jungkook to get the good work hours and the decent sleep schedule he’s been dying for. 

And if someone comes, it’s either a creep, a beggar or someone running from the police that needs a place to hide for a few minutes. Most times, the three figures combine into one and while Jungkook gets the shop’s broom to kick out the creeps and the low-level criminals, no one needs to know he might have let two or three homeless people sleep on the cushions for a couple of hours during the cold nights, especially not Sean and his fucking obsession with company policy or what the fuck ever.

Let’s just say Jungkook doesn’t pay much mind to the ringing bell, still thoroughly entertained by the tweets because, oh my fuck, Justin Bieber is a hoe.

The poor boy isn’t even allowed the simple, most futile and void pleasures of life like gossipping, it seems, because the next second a deep voice resonates from behind Jungkook, in the service area. 

“Hey? Hi? Someone out here? I’d like to order something.”

A beat of silence passes. Jungkook closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, putting his phone down gently next to him.

“Hello?”

Jungkook grunts before rolling himself out of the kitchen, looking down as he makes his way to the cashier. He dumps the bubblegum-turned-probably-plastic unceremoniously in the nearest trash can and sighs deeply as he initiates the compute.

“Goodnight, what can I get you on this dainty day?” He drawls lazily while not even meeting eyes with the person, probably not great customer service but Fourth Level Jungkook absolutely doesn’t give a-

Work policy is a bitch.

He assumes by the voice it’s a guy, which he’ll surely reprimand himself later for, but being politically correct is something for a post-nap and stomach-full Jungkook, right now it could be a merfolk talking to him and he probably wouldn’t notice. 

However, by the sake of getting this whole ordeal done and over quickly so he can back to memorizing each model on Selena Gomez’s hit list, he looks up, accidentally meeting eyes with the stranger.

It is a dude. And he’s staring wide eyed, hard at Jungkook. That startles the boy, considering the redness of the customer’s eyes makes him look dazed and sort of demon-like, in Jungkook’s opinion. 

He’s high but maybe a creep too, huh. Don’t get a lot of that combo in a while. Jungkook scoffs unashamedly, because who has time for shame at three in the morning, and the guy seems to get the hint and takes his eyes elsewhere. 

The man whips his head to the menu flashing above them. “Uh- So yeah, what- what’s good here, man? I really have no preference- I mean, what kind of dickhead has a preference on donuts, you know? They’re just donuts, but I guess the topping really matters if you have allergies or something. Imagine someone would eat and then have allergies, be all bloated and shit- “

“Sir.” Jungkook interrupts his weird monologue. “What can I get you?”

The client looks at him like there’s three of Jungkook standing there in the obnoxiously pink polo shirt this stupid place makes him wear, mouth open and eyebrows furrowed, as if he’s just discovered something.

“You’re cute.” is what comes next.

To be frank, Jungkook’s a bit shocked. “Pardon me?” The guy smiles weirdly, only one side of his mouth curving up as he leans both elbows on the white counter, getting closer to where Jungkook is. “Pardon me?” (Wait who says that?) 

“I said, You’re cute. Oh, do you have trouble listening?” He points to his own ears before loudly speaking. “HELLO. I SAID, LIKE BEFORE I MEAN, THAT I THINK YOU ARE CUTE. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

“I can hear you just fine, sir.” Ever the robotic professional, even at 3 in the morning to a stoned guy, Jungkook feels his will to live start to fade away. “I’d just like to know what you’re going to order.”

The man supports his head on the arms in the counter, looking up at Jungkook with wide eyes and that weird half-smile. “Your pick, cutie. Just get me like five, yeah? Kinda hungry, to be honest.”

Jungkook scoffs, it’s really not the first time to be hit on at work, but maybe it is the first time for the person to do it at this time and be as intoxicated as this. “Alright then,” He types in the order number and the code before confirming the purchase. “It’ll be five chocolate cake donut with rainbow sprinkles coming right up, sir.” He turns back to the customer. “That gives your total of 10 dollars.”

“Woah, hold up. Did you just have that memorized?” He gapes, his head already reaching half his arm.

Jungkook needs to scratch his head and throws his bubblegum out before actually responding. “Yeah, I work here. It’s expected of us.” God, this is giving him a headache. “Would you like to pay up in cash, debit or credit card? We are not accepting checks right now, but sometime next week we maybe-”

“Go out with me.” The client says, having switched to lean on his other arm while Jungkook was speaking.

The robotic cashier persona drops and Jungkook splutters. “Why? Why would I even? I mean, no.” He shakes his head repeatedly, right knee jerking with it.

“Hm. Because you’re cute. And smart. “ He stands upright, surprising Jungkook. “Memorized all the donuts and their prices, that’s some smart shit right there. And because you’re cute.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling a 20 dollar bill out to slip it across the counter, in Jungkook’s direction. “Wait, have I already said that? I can’t remember.”

He’s looking deep into Jungkook’s eyes as the boy reaches for the money. “God, am I really that high I’m just imagining you exist?” As Jungkook’s grabs the money, the man pulls it back, making Jungkook gasp and go forward. “Go out with me.”

Jungkook grabs the money hard and pulls. “No.” He opens up the cash drawer and deposits the money before taking out a 10 dollar bill. “Here you go, sir.”

The man giggles and his smile is boxy and beautiful, pink lips stretched around white teeth. “Sir? You make me feel like I’m 56, cutie.” His eyes go wide. “Which I’m not! Okay? Is this why you refused me? Because I mean..” He scoffs playfully and gestures to his own body. “Who would refuse this, amirite?”

Jungkook cringes before handing him the 10 dollar bill. “Your five chocolate cake donuts with rainbow sprinkles will be right over, sir.” He walks to the freezer where they keep the pre-made dough, grabbing five of them, and puts on his gloves.

“What’s my final answer, then?” Jungkook can tell he moved by where his voice is coming from. If 1 year and 8 months working in this hell hole was useful in anyway, he guesses the client is sitting at one of the counter stools, spinning on it, by the annoying sound it makes because of the loose screw he keeps telling management to fucking fix.

“I believe my mother used to tell me ‘No means no’.” Jungkook puts the dough in the fryer basket, before dipping it into the oil. The stool sound stops.

“Oh my god. I’m not- I mean- I never meant to-“ The man struggles and Jungkook feels an odd urge to laugh about it. “Listen, I’m all about consent, okay? I know no is no, I get when people are uncomfortable. I’m all up for that Me Too thing, you know, I’m on women’s side- erm..not only women I mean, every genders side! Gender side is the side I’m on, I mean I’m a feminist! I promise.” 

Jungkook can’t help but chuckle, feeling the ranting guy’s eyes burn at the back of his shaking shoulders, while he keeps an eye to not get actually burnt on the hot frying oil.

 “I don’t mean to sound like- like a creep or anything, I just think you’re like so so so so so so-“ Jungkook starts giggling, a little laugh slipping out. “Uh, god. I’m embarrassing myself. What are you doing, Taehyung? Pull yourself together, dude. Uh, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. You’re like really cute so I think we should go out because I’m also really cute, so that’s why I’m insisting it. But if you think I’m a creep, just tell me to fuck off and I will, alright?”

Taehyung. It sounds nice, Jungkook thinks, as he gets the fried doughs out of the basket and sets them out to dry.

Taking a deep breath, he speaks. “I’m not gonna tell you to fuck off and I don’t think you’re a creep.” He grabs a knife and slices through each dough. “I’m telling you no, because it’s three am and you’re high as hell.” He plops a big chunk of chocolate filling in each of the doughs, spreading it on top of the part he’s just sliced.

“So?” Taehyung scoffs. “That’s no big deal.”

Jungkook closes both halves of each dough, grabbing the melted chocolate before pouring it all over them. “Maybe.” He grabs the rainbow sprinkles, sprinkling them. “But the big deal is, you’re not gonna remember any of this tomorrow. Not asking me out,” He puts them on a tray, leading them to the freezer. “Certainly not my face.” He turns back to Taehyung.

“I could never forget a face like yours, cutie.” He’s leaning his elbows on the counters again, head supported by both his hands, eyes sparkling. Jungkook cringes. Again. 

“Alright, then.” He searches under the counter for a paper pack for five, finding it on the corner of the shelf before putting it on the counter. He sighs tiredly and begins to set it up.

“So you’ll go on a date with me?” Taehyung perks up.

Jungkook smiles a little after he’s done and walks away to get the donuts from the refrigerator. “That’s not what I said.”

“Then let’s make a deal.” The man has a dead serious face on when Jungkook returns.

It makes him want to laugh again. “A deal, huh?”

“Yeah. If I come here tomorrow, sober, day time, sun’s shining and everything, and I remember you and your face, will you go out with me?” Jungkook puts the donuts in the pack, putting it inside a paper bag.

“Maybe.” Jungkook walks over to the cashier and grabs his receipt.

“Only maybe?” Taehyung follows him as he walks, now, each from opposite sides of the counter and it’s ridiculous if someone was to look from the outside.

He sighs and smiles at the absurdity of it all. Grabbing the paper bag and the receipt, he offers it towards Taehyung. “It’s a Wednesday, I don’t work today’s daytime and tomorrow’s my day off. On Fridays, I work nights again and the restaurant is closed on weekends. I only work day shifts on Mondays and Tuesdays.”

Taehyung does his weird half smile again and gets the paper bag and receipt. “Did you write your number on the receipt, too?”

“No.” Jungkook takes his gloves off. “That would help you remember.” He throws them on the trash and crosses his arms, looking back into those reddened eyes. “That’s not fair, is it?”

“Well, I, for one, think the world’s completely unfair.” Taehyung tries.

“Have a dainty day, sir.” Is all Jungkook replies, before moving back to the kitchen.

“I’ll come back!” Taehyung calls after him.

Jungkook yells “I’m sure you will.”

He hides behind the kitchen’s wall again, more animatedly than the last time he stood there. He hears the front door bell ring and can’t help but smile, grabbing his phone to check the time.

03:59 AM

So, another hour.

Slumping down at the wall again, Jungkook smiles as he thinks. I’ll be fine.

***

His cheeks are cold where they meet the pearly white counter, polished for a whole twenty minutes so Jungkook wouldn’t hear another “This is not Dainty Donut policy, Junglebooks. We need you to be better than this.” from his manager when he was clocking out last wednesday.

Well, I leave one spot on the counter and it’s the end of the world, but he knows my name and yet he still-

Jungkook huffs, borderline whiny. He’s sat at the service area this time, cap discarded somewhere on the counter, phone in hand again, playing one of the many games he’s had to download on his phone simply to not die from boredom in this place.

He doesn’t even know why the shop is open at this time, no one comes to get a donut at three in the morning. It would be so much easier for Jungkook to get all his shifts to be during the day, so he wouldn’t be downing two coffees every morning as if he needs it to breathe.

 No one. Except maybe cute boys high on most likely weed, Jungkook’s brain helpfully supplies.

It’s not that he spent hours wondering whether or not Taehyung would actually be back, the whole thing too amusing to be considered an actual occurrence. He told Hoseok about it in the morning, after he had regained all his brain functions in a 30-minute nap, and they both laughed about it, no big deal.

Still.

Moments like this, where the only thing he can hear is the wind making the glass door flutter and the menu panel lights flicker, gets Jungkook thinking. Who even was that guy? Taehyung. A name and a face that Jungkook fails to easily forget, nagging and even a little taunting to him. They make their way into the front of Jungkook’s brain the moment he doesn’t have anything else to think about, and he finds himself doing nothing to push them away.

That’s the thing, isn’t it? Jungkook’s an easily intrigued person. He’s fascinated with just about anything, from flowers, dance moves, buildings, landscapes, to pink lips, red eyes and a killer smile. He doesn’t just meet, doesn’t just let go, he has to keep thinking about it, every step of their interaction, how Taehyung rambled and mixed up words, how he had trouble keeping his head up, how shameless he was in asking Jungkook out.

There’s no hope, the boy swears to himself, no expectations. It’s just intriguing, a random appearance in his life, an open door, that makes him wonder. Will he see him again? Will they never see each other again? What’s his full name? How old is he?

You’re a creep, Jeon Jungkook.

He isn’t, he’s just curious. Curious and thinking.

He likes to do this, from time to time, appreciate life. He may never see Taehyung again, but they’ll always have interacted, even if they both die tomorrow in a terrible accident; their paths have been crossed and their timelines, tangled. It’s the uncertainty that most people fear and panic over that Jungkook likes, he finds it rather thrilling.

In 50 years, maybe, he’ll have forgotten about all of this. Taehyung, his red eyes, his black hair and slurred speech. He’ll have forgotten about this place, his horrid uniform, about the screech the stool’s loose screws make. Maybe he’ll be dead, who knows. But this will always have happened, he’ll always have worked in Dainty Donuts for almost two years, always have met, flirted, with the stoned costumer who came to get donuts at 2AM and let him choose. If he hadn’t done all of this, maybe his future would have been different.

Or maybe it wouldn’t, he’ll never know.

Jungkook giggles. That’s the fun part.

He’s spiraling, he thinks, having been on your phone for most of the past five hours was bound to cause that effect and at this point, he can barely concentrate in matching the three candies he needs to finish this Candy Crush level. To support his statement, he thinks he just imagines the front door open, bell ringing loudly in the annoying silence, because there is  no way in hell.

The sounds of footsteps and laughter snap him out of it, and the crippling cold feeling of professionalism runs through his veins, making him straighten up and grab the pink cap, hurriedly adjusting it over his head. He stands expectant, back tense and ears alert, just as he was trained to do.

A familiar voice flits through the door and holy fucking hell if it doesn’t at least incite a small surprised smile from Jungkook, who makes sure that’s nowhere to be seen when the voice gets closer and closer.

“And then I said, ‘Well, what more do you expect from me?’ and she-” He wheezes out. “She didn’t reply! Because she’s a plant and plants don’t speak!” Laughter, loud and clear, fills the place, breaking the natural silence. 

It’s him. It’s Taehyung. Laughing.

“I would’ve never pictured you as someone who talks to plants.”

He’s not alone.

The two figures approach the counter, attached by the hip, literally, hands on waists and Jungkook can see it all so clearly. As they get closer, he can see Taehyung and all his strong neck and jaw glory, his eyes are red and unfocused, body lazy and completely dependent on the person next to him to remain standing.

Funnily enough, it’s the man supporting him that looks at Jungkook first, probably ready to order, so the employee is quick to play his part.

“What can I get you on this dainty day?” The man’s eyes are red too, like Taehyung’s, crinkling up as he bursts into laughter.

“‘Dainty day’? Is that what they’ve got you guys saying now?” He laughs and Jungkook clears his throat uncomfortably. Taehyung hasn’t said a word, mind probably too enticed fogged up, unfocused because of all the smoke he’d inhaled. “I’ll have something with caramel in it, yeah? Get me those packs with like six of them.”

Jungkook’s lower back hurts, the side of his head already aching. “Would your friend like anything too, sir?” He looks up, only to meet eyes with a smiling Taehyung.

It’s a mix of a smirk and his typical half-smile, but that’s not what bothers the boy behind the counter, but the glint of recognition that sparkles in his intoxicated eyes does. He frees himself from the other man’s grip, stretching an arm on the counter, in Jungkook’s direction.

“Don’t you remember me, cutie? I sure do remember you. How could I not?” He smiles but can barely hold himself up so reluctantly sits at one of the stools. “I told you I’d be back. Told you so.”

“Is this why you wanted to come here so badly? To flirt with the donut place guy?” The other man also sits down, probably afraid Taehyung will fall if he’s not supported somehow. “How haven’t you mentioned this before?”

Taehyung’s eyes never leave Jungkook, who stands with clasped waiting hands on the top of his belly. “Hm. He doesn’t remember my cutie, which is a pity, really, look how cute he is.”

“He? Who doesn’t remember him?” The man voices every Jungkook’s exact thought bouncing on and off in his brain and he’s glad for it. Taehyung dismisses his questions with a wave of long delicate fingers like it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.

“Him, you know.” He makes a gagging sound. “Sober Taehyung. Ever the bore, isn’t he? I think so.” He rips his gaze from Jungkook to glare at his friend. “By the way, how don’t you get tired of him? You’re truly an angel, Jimin.”

Taehyung’s friend rolls his eyes. “Here you go. You do know ‘Sober’ Taehyung is still you, right?” They have completely forgotten Jungkook is here it seems, whose lower back hurts from his discomfort, his fingers squeezing each other so hard he’s sure they’re white by now. “And I would never get tired of you, dickhead.”

If there’s anything he cannot get over after all this time working in the dessert parlour, it’s being ignored. The invisibility, the submission this job requires him to have is incredibly crushing, the mentality that ‘the costumer is always right’ goes against all his morals, makes his skin itch.

So he speaks up, moodily. “Is there anything you would like to add or can I get you your check?”

Two heads snap in his direction. So they really did forget he was there, Jungkook thinks. He defiantly holds his head up, arms crossed and posture tense, waiting anxiously for something, anything.

“I’ll have whatever you picked for me last time, cutie.” Taehyung calmly speaks, as if he’s soothing an angry animal. “It was a good choice.”

Jungkook huffs and it’s silent now, fingers heavily pressing the keys to log the order in resounding louder than how it is supposed to. His knee jerks anxiously while they wait for the receipt to print, both guys having gotten their heads closer, whispering to each other.

He holds the printed receipt out for Jimin, the closest to him to take, but his eyes meet Taehyung’s. “Your total is 12.95 dollars, would you like to pay up in cash, debit or credit card? We are not accepting checks right now, but sometime next week we maybe be able to do that.” Taehyung’s head cocks, a ghost of a smile plays in his lips.

“Cash.” It’s Jimin, as Jungkook’s learned, who answers.

He pays, too, for both of them and Jungkook wonders if he made the wrong assumption that they are just friends. He takes the money, giving back his change and the receipt. “A pack of caramel glazed donuts, coming right up.”

When he walks away, Jungkook feels out of breath. He starts to make the donuts automatically, hands used to the motions but his ears are alert, straining to hear the conversation between the two men behind him. A couple minutes later, as he pours caramel, he catches something.

“Wait for me outside, ok buddy? I’ll get our food and then we can get going.” It’s Taehyung.

Taehyung’s just asked his friend to leave, to wait outside, so he and Jungkook would be alone. If the worker’s hands shakes and his heart drops to his stomach, well, that’sonly for him to know.

He turns around when the bell rings, setting the tray on the counter and ducking to find a pack, and then, a wave of Déjà vu washes over him. He’s here again, this late at night, packing donuts for Taehyung, who sits in the exact same place as last time.

He stands straight again, but doesn’t dare to look up and meet those sultry eyes, I can’t, not this up close, Jungkook decides. Instead, he focuses on his job, making sure everything is secure and ready to be delivered, when a sudden warm hand suddenly falls over his, fingers delicate and beautiful.

“I told you I’d come back and I did. I suppose you owe me a date now.” Has his voice gotten even deeper? Jungkook can’t tell, can’t breathe, it’s 3 in the morning and he feels absolutely exhilarated.

He takes a deep breath, never looking up. “I told you to come sober, you came high again.” He’s done packing so he just presses his palms in the cold surface and the contrast with the warmth of Taehyung’s hand almost makes him shiver. “I think you promised something about daylight, too.”

“Got some memory in you, huh?” The hand is gone and Jungkook suppresses the urge to show he misses it immediately. “Shame Sober Taehyung doesn’t, he’s a real dumbass.”

Jungkook frowns at the white counter, but the man doesn’t stop talking. “I’m glad he can’t remember you, you’d be disappointed. He doesn’t know how to handle you.” He speaks confidently.

The employee’s eyes snap up to his. “Why do you do that?” He lets out a breath. “Talk about yourself in the third person, like you become someone else when you’re high.”

Taehyung only smiles, lazy and satisfied. “I like to think so.” Then, he repeats. “Go out with me.”

“Why do you feel that way?” Jungkook ignores him. “What makes you different from him?” What do you want to hide when you smoke? He wants to ask.

“You’re curious?” He sits straight, broad shoulders giving him a serious poise. “Go out with me to find out.”

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat, he’s getting aggravated. “You sure were chatty the other night, what changed?”

Taehyung sighs. “Listen, I-“

He doesn’t give the customer the chance. “And who would I even go out with? You? Him?” He’s past aggravated now. “Quite frankly, you don’t even know my name. More than that, you don’t know anything about me.” Please want to. The neglected voice in his head says. “So go find another person to toy with at this ungodly time just because you’re bored, please.”

Silence.

I can’t be here. Jungkook makes to leave, maybe he’ll hide in the kitchen again, or wait for the man to leave so he can close the shop.

All his plans are ruined by the warm fingers curling around his arm.

He reluctantly turns back to Taehyung. “I know your name, Jungkook.” His eyes are calm, sincere, less red. “I’m sorry I made you feel like you were toyed with.” He doesn’t let go of his arm, just rests his own elbow on the white surface, the only thing separating them. “I guess I’m not that different from Sober Taehyung after all.”

Jungkook sucks in a harsh breath. He feels like he’s been standing there just breathing for at least half an hour, even if he knows it’s only a couple of minutes. 

“How do you know my name?.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Taehyung’s eyes overflow with something that can only be named as fondness. “It’s on your name tag.”

Stupid, idiot, fool. Jungkook calls himself all those things when he looks down and sees that, yes, he’s wearing a tag with his name on it. Not much left to do, he sighs.

“The deal is the same.”

Taehyung’s eyes go wide. “What?”

“The deal.” Jungkook’s eyes are almost shy in looking at the man still holding his arm. “Come here sober, during the day, and I might consider going out with you.”

There’s a determination in the other’s eyes he hasn’t seen before. “I will make sure he remembers you, I’ll set up notes, alarms, reminders, anything. He’s gonna have to come here.”

The hand on his arm trails down, reaching and caressing his hand. “You’re more than something to toy with, Jungkook.” His hand is so warm. Jungkook is feeling a bit dizzy if he’s honest. “Doesn’t matter how, where or when we met, you’re not a toy. And I’m gonna come back for you.”

It feels like a promise, but it shouldn’t. Because they are strangers, two people who should mean nothing to each other, should never even look twice the other’s way and most certainly not promise anything. Because Jungkook’s still wearing that horrid uniform, disgusting khaki pants and he’s sure he looks anything but cute.

Still, he says. “Okay.” Then nods frantically. “I’ll be waiting.”

They exchange one last look and Jungkook pulls back first, carefully. Taehyung eventually hops off the stool, grabs the donut bag and heading out, bell ringing when he opens the glass door. Meanwhile, the employee makes his way into the kitchen, walking backwards quietly, watching the other leave.

Before the door closes, he thinks he hears:

“Hi, buddy. I’m gonna need you to remind me of something tomorrow.”

***

The next time Jungkook has to work, his hands aren’t as carefree to go through every single feature available on his phone in a pitiful attempt to get through his work hours faster. 

Now, sweat drips from his hairline, a drop of sweat falling on his lashes and making him blink repeatedly while trying to make his way out of the kitchen. Unfortunately, Jungkook’s never been a guy to succeed in his tries.