30 Days

New and updated rules for the Nov. 14th debate! Made it into a pick-your-candidate style so I'm not responsible for anyone getting alcohol poisoning ;]

Rules: Pick one candidate. Drink designated number of sips/chugs for each criteria. Everyone drinks for the “Community Drinks” section. We’re equal opportunity, yo.

Martin "Did you know I was Governor of Maryland" O'Malley: 1 sip every time he says "In my state of Maryland..." 2 sips every time he says "gridlock" or "new leadership" 3 sips every time he says the EXACT phrase "100% clean energy by 2050" Finish your drink if he refers to Trump as a "carnival barker"

Jim "Hoorah" Webb: 1 sip every time he mentions Vietnam 2 sips every time he says he's the best candidate for Commander in Chief 3 sips every time he's not ready to answer a question Finish your drink and yell "SHUT UP" every time he whines about the time

Bernie "das Bern" Sanders: 1 sip every time he waves his arms like a conductor 2 sips for every mention of Wall Street 3 sips every time he says "young people" Finish your drink every time he saves another candidate from getting reamed (*cough* Hillary *cough*)

Hillary "No" Clinton: 1 sip every time she talks about Obama like they’re BFFS4LYFE 2 sips every time she has to respond to flip-flopping 3 sips every time she slams any Republican Finish your drink for every anecdote about "hunting down China"

Lincoln "LOL who?" Chafee: Finish your drink AND go shotgun a beer if he makes it to November.

Community Drinks! Drink every time any candidate: - mentions wealth/income inequality - mentions free tuition - talks about how much respect they have for another candidate/Obama - deflects a question - throws any form of shade

Happy belated National Coming Out Day! A round of applause to everyone that made it out of their flannel-packed closets this year! Isn’t it so much easier reading Autostraddle in broad daylight than in a dark closet on your cell phone? Talk about eye strain and killer migraines.

Anyways, I’m normally pretty exuberant about NCOD, but I do have to admit it was a bit of a struggle to post something this year. Probably because I’m older, jaded, and these things now evoke a less-than-puppy-dog level of excitement. And partially because it’s still slightly nerve wracking three years later (although I have no idea what life was like before I wrote my fluidity post). I also recently realized that the number of friends I’m not explicitly out to has skyrocketed. If you don’t already know my stance on sexuality, you can check it here (and here if you’re interested in what a year’s worth of out looks like).

Basically, for all the TL;DR peeps: I do what I want. Betch.

*mic drop* I’m out.

In Focus: Moments right before and after a goal.

No, you cannot crop out my watermark and reblog. If you do, I will come after you like a goddamn truffle pig.

Hope is having none of your shit.

No, you cannot crop out my watermark and reblog. If you do, I will come after you like a goddamn truffle pig.

After MEX’s goal, right before the floodgates opened.

No, you cannot crop out my watermark and reblog. If you do, I will come after you like a goddamn truffle pig.

Pinoe still smiling after her goal was called offsides

No, you cannot crop out my watermark and reblog. If you do, I will come after you like a goddamn truffle pig.