im so glad im improving as a person, i spent a little over a year catering to what others thought of me, rather than just letting myself be myself , n in that tome i kinda lost touch w myself. idk y i wanted to either hurt others or have others hurt myself to feel better about things i cant even explain my thought process arnd that. i basiclaly begged ta be groomef by people and it rly sucked nga im just happy im able to express myself without worrying abt what others think now, and i no longer feel Like incline ta hurt others or get hurt , yeah im still a gucking angry ass kid mad at circumstance but at least i dont externalize it tha same way i used t and im happy abt the direction im heading i dont feel like i have to suffer WITH someone else, and dig me and others in a deeper hole, i found thav i can use my emotion positively to connect and relate with otjers to cope and i think thats so morherfuckinf beautiful i love that. theres still things i want to change and theres still things i know are a part of me and im accepting that , i had to lie about myself for a year and im finally coming bjck oht as a trans man andnnot feeling like i have to live up to my parents feminine view of me anymore, being a closeted trans man for halfmy fucking life made me so emotionally exhausted not being able to live how i wanted to so i caved and triwd my hardest to go back to being gfemale but that only hurt me moer Anyways. im having many positive social relationships recently and im so so proud i want to continue in ths direction ok i keep repeating myself Can i stop ramblifn im literally on the toilet ok
i dont evn hold grudges anymore like
