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오대원 / WONIL — 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘

7:00pm — 🍒 💬

3:49pm — 🍒 💬

3:43pm — 🍒 💬

"phaze was great tonight, right?" he begins, sighing sweetly. "they're all so hot... like, i don't understand how the stage underneath them didn't melt because of it." despite the decrease in alcohol-induced elation, he's clearly still loose-lipped... whoops. "blue and chaea were okay, too, i guess. i... wasn't really paying attention, i won't lie." it's then when he's given his vice, and before he tosses it back in one gulp, he looks to the other once more. "oh, do you want one, too? it's peachy... like me!"

daewon recognizes the voice before he puts a face and name to it. bright, curious, and bold—that can only be dodam. 

his gaze flickers between the faces in the crowd, surveying the exchange of conversation as currency: prying eyes that watch closely, craning their necks to hear a little more—all clearly trying to catch some scandal or industry secret. off to the corner, there’s jaeyoon laughing a little too hard at something an editor’s said, and weaving through the throng of bodies is haneul, his brows narrowed in a tension that daewon’s to fault for. 

“yeah, they were,” it’s a throwaway comment. he was distracted tonight; attention rarely fastened on the stage for more reasons than one.  

4:22pm — 🍒 💬

4:04pm — 🍒 💬

daewon exchanges formalities for a familiar ease as he approaches jaeyoon. already, he can outline the stress in his silhouette and the annoyance coloring his face. it's hard not to when he's become accustomed to every twitch and shift in the latter's disposition, having worked shoulder-to-shoulder in studios for years.

"so... big night," daewon leans against the door frame, his words a touch sarcastic—it's subtle, but enough for jaeyoon to decipher. the comment doesn't elicit an immediate response, but that doesn't deter him, and he watches with a steady gaze as jaeyoon continues preparing for his performance.

daewon would be lying if he acts like he doesn't notice the tension in the room—the way jaeyoon's displeasure radiates off of him, raising the temperature in this sorry excuse of a dressing room by at least a few degrees—but daewon doesn't care to deal with the truth, so lying it is. he prints a relaxed smile on his lips like the tension is innocently missed, and continues, "seems like everyone's eager to hear your best album yet."

"you look like you've been doing well. i'm glad" (in actuality, she hoped the opposite). there's another shot of soju that she takes, full slow-motion. "everyone mentioned you were on tour, so.." her words fall slowly, voice lulled against the backdrop of the clatter in the restaurant and eyes fully locked. "congratulations on that, too."

this is familiar. same routine, same people, same her—eyes darting from his the second they align. daewon resists the upward twitch of his smile, opting instead to drift his attention onto the faces he hasn't seen in months. it's a brief parade of amazement: a playful shove to his shoulder here—hey, weren't you supposed to tell us that you're back?—an excited half-hug there, still, glad you could make it. the enthusiastic buzz of chatter reminds him of what he'd missed all this time away, or rather, who.

he passes another look to the end of the table.

this is how he recalls meeting eunbin, the second time: under blurred lights and blurred smiles, intrigued glances lost amongst the vibrant backdrop, and words mouthed into the music. he can't recall what he'd said to her then in that club, but he can recall the interested lift of her brows—the way she leaned in, part curious, part cautious as he tilted his head to the door. time spent with her didn't feel entirely real; all his senses subdued and the mood softened in kind, as if pulled through a filter. so of course, he met her again. and again. and again.

daewon surveys the seating arrangement as the group settles, sitting down across from her with natural ease like he hasn't caught the way she tries to dissipate the stiffness in her spine. it's not entirely a surprise that she's here when their circles have merged, but watching her slowly sip her soju still feels uncharacteristic.

"thanks," he meets her stare then, "tour wrapped up last month." he doesn't elaborate further. he should. but it feels too much like an explanation wanting forgiveness, so it gets shelved with other unsaid things.

tour had kept him busy, sure, but that was a while ago. the extended absence was intentional, filled with flights allowing him to fuck off to whatever other corner of the world he hadn't touched. he'd seen his aunt for a part of it, check, and had at least considered a stop in yeosu, another check. maybe he could've been away longer, though, he's not sure that would've made things any better—for her, or for him.

there's a pause. it’s intentional. then he crosses his arms on the table and leans in—further than necessary—to look at her with an attentive gaze like nothing's changed. "and you?" his eyes sweep between hers, "have you been...well?" the question is uttered slowly. that's also intentional.

“i didn’t think anyone else was here.” a sniffle, followed by a brief pause. her gaze suddenly flickers upwards—and she glares up at them, a small scowl enveloping glossed lips. “if you tell anyone you saw me crying like this, i’ll kill you.”

the reel spins, and before him, the scene of shin doah's emotional spiral unfolds in a collection of sobs and tears. in one frame, she's embarrassed, face notably flushed under the dim theater lighting like she can't believe she's actually crying. in another, she's already substituted it for frustration, like she can't believe she's actually crying and someone's stuck around to witness it.

daewon blinks, once, then twice—expression still for a second until the whiplash has worn off and her threat registers. what had been concern then splits into an amused grin and a passing scoff, "you're welcome."

for a moment, he's tempted to turn on his heel and pretend he was never there. it's convenient, clean, and probably what she'd prefer. the pros and cons tick off in his head as he levels her burning stare with an undeterred one of his own. yet, against better judgement, he pulls down the seat next to her and sinks in, legs outstretched, momentarily brushing her knee. after all, he was here first.

saturdays, as of late, were dedicated to re-runs; a temporary hobby spliced into his routine as he settles back into seoul. he'd gotten here early, and watched her walk in and scan the empty rows with relief, oblivious to where he was sitting outside her periphery. in the end, it didn't matter what was on the screen when he was forced to be a part of her audience instead—her every gasp and giggle heard loud and clear despite their distance.

"shin doah," he says her name like he's wanting confirmation—he's not, he's just drawing out her attention long enough for the next thing, "i didn't find the film that moving." the words are intentional: creative diversions to downplay the situation. take it as a kindness, if anything, that he doesn't probe into why she's really crying.

pt. i — background, tw for brief mention of illness, and death

born in yeosu, but if you ask him about it, he doesn't have much to share save for a few impersonal details, like the views on the water or the slow-paced life. it's enough to make evident that he's glad he's here than there, but to give the run-down he won't: daewon had a very typical, modest upbringing.

his parents worked a lot, as they had to, and he was a good kid; excelled in his classes, helped around the house, and never complained. though, naturally, he always wanted more for himself. the idea of living the same life as his parents—well, let's just say it gave rise to many complicated (and unresolved) feelings.

so, he moved to london to live with his aunt when he was 12/13 with the initial idea of going to med school. he only returned at 19 when his dad got very sick, and then just... never went back. did his military service, got scouted (in uniform, mind you), started training, and the rest is history.

his dad has since passed away, so it's just him and his mom now, but he hasn't been very attentive in visiting her, tsk tsk.

pt. ii — training and career

it wasn't always the plan that daewon would debut as a soloist, but he was very diligent with all aspects of his training; never easing up or letting his exhaustion outwardly weigh on him—even though he was an older trainee. you could say he's a bit of an all-rounder as a result (just don't make him rap lol).

as for his debut, while daewon didn't have a strong foundation (nor an interest) in music to start, he did have a very clear vision of how he wanted his music to express him, and thankfully, ydh was on board. he's quite particular. in that respect, wonil's sensual image and sound is as much a credit to him as it is to ydh.

that said, though, i don't think daewon fully appreciated exactly what he was getting himself into and just how rigid ydh's rules are—or how serious management is about enforcing them, and that's lead to some... issues (re: scandals—yes, plural). but! it seems like the relationship is still going strong since daewon doesn't have any plans of stopping or slowing down anytime soon (maybe music truly is his calling).

although he's been especially interested in the production of music and has developed that skill further, i'd actually say he's his strongest during his concerts. it's a melting pot of creativity, and he gets a whole lot more influence on the choreography, song transitions, mood, etc (tldr; you should catch him on tour).

pt. iii — personality

overall, daewon's relaxed and friendly—it's easy to be comfortable in his presence. he's polite, polished, and professional, but as you get to know him, his personality reveals to be very sarcastic, disarming, and confident. he's got a bit of an ego, tbh, and sometimes he can be a little insensitive, but he (mostly) has good intentions, and is at least (mostly) genuine, so you know what you're getting is (mostly) real. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

to elaborate further in a series of will's and won'ts: will know how to change your tire, but won’t show up to do it without a lil tit-for-tat. will latch onto the smallest tension in a room with slight intrigue, but won't act on it. won't remember your birthday (sorry), but will remember that time you mildly ticked him off.

pt. iv — plots

as someone that likes to be very practical, his attempts to articulate his feelings often lends to a clenched-jaw and stiff tongue—like a child, he's bad at expressing all its syllables and sounds. all you make out—if you make out anything at all—are vague highlights: that he's good, or he's tired, or he's interested. so, it'd be nice to have some people who just get him; an easy presence, or someone similar.

he can also be quite self-serving. it's not malicious or anything, but just an instinct to put his best interests first. though, maybe the consequence of always acting on that instinct has scarred the relationship between him and your muse. on the flip side, maybe it's an approach they appreciate since they can comfortably rely on it.

those that share his enjoyment of a drink and a smoke. maybe he has a few too many vices and is too comfortable leaning into every desire. and sure, maybe he's just bordering a problem, but the bottom line is that he's not there yet, and in the meantime, he loves a good crowd, which includes your muse.

artists he's worked with before—either those that have featured on his tracks, or those who have produced some of his music (left many credits open cause he loves working with people on this). maybe they can work on an upcoming project together, or this time he can return the favor and feature on your muse's music.