𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐑 !

Topher always drove Cam nuts. Mostly because he thought Topher was encroaching on his status as McKinley’s favorite likable nerdy jock, but he was starting to realize that Topher wasn’t really all that likable. He looked like the clown from It and he was pretty crass. They really didn’t have as much in common as Cam had originally thought. Still, he definitely considered himself to be in a way higher tier than Topher. Poor guy. His personality really did just suck. Cam almost wanted to feel bad for him, but he still sort of hated him, so he wasn’t ready to offer him any sympathy for his crappy personality. “That is really gross imagery, dude,” Cam complained with a grimace. “I just thought you guys threw the ball back and forth a lot,” he shrugged. He lowered his dumbbell to the ground and gently placed it down. It didn’t really seem like Topher was going to leave anytime soon, so he knew he was going to have to get used to him lingering around. “If you want to bench. I can spot you,” he offered up as some sort of truce. He didn’t want to casually argue with Topher for the entire time they were stuck together. Judging from the words coming out of Topher’s mouth next, a truce wasn’t really on his mind. “My charm is natural, dude. It literally never wears off,” he explained, pulling himself up from his spot on the bench. He walked over to the empty bench press and started loading weights on it. “Also, it’s like ten in the morning. What should I be doing right now?” He questioned with a shrug, loading a few more weights onto the bar. “What are you doing here? Trying to get ripped, so people don’t pay attention to your personality?”

Topher and Cam were cut from the same cloth for sure. Both were equally goofy, both equally athletic, both in student council, the cherry on top would have been if they played the same sport but luckily for them both, that was where the similarities ended. Topher would be the first to admit that there was a bit more twang in his talk and always a trip in his step, but he didn’t think Cam was better than him by any means. “Come on,” another scoff. “You’re telling me you’ve never watched a baseball game? Or I don’t know... played wiffleball?” He asked in all seriousness. At this point, he didn’t know if Cam was fucking with him or being serious. Either way, Topher was equally confused. Normally, Topher would have left but it was just Cam. So they didn’t get along but it wasn’t like Cam was gonna go all Michael Myers on him if they were alone. “You’re not gonna drop it on me, are you?” Once again, another completely serious question on Topher’s part. At his question, Topher shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s fall break. Maybe sleeping in or something. Didn’t think working out was in the works for you,” he shrugged. “Hey, my personality is fuckin’ awesome,” he retorted quickly. “But... perhaps I am.”

BABY: well i'm glad someone feels honored, because i'm like half sure she's using this as an opportunity to spy on my life

BABY: you definitely don't have to bring anything, clown. just like, don't show up in some sweaty t shirt, and probably comb your hair so she doesn't say anything about it? or don't, and drive her crazy all night. totes up to you.

BABY: i keep telling her we're not freakin anything but who knows with her. maybe she'll cool her jets if you reinforce the whole FRIENDS thing at dinner

[...]

BABY: WAIT she said WHAT to you at homecoming???? you're kidding

BABY: that's so freakin

BABY: ugh

BABY: sorry for her

TOPHER: good thing for her ik nothing about your life to give her any info

TOPHER: do you really think that less of me houseman? i'd never wear a sweaty shirt to a dinner with the one and only mama puckerman

TOPHER: im not kidding. i reassured her we were just friends and it all came from a box but i dont think she believed either one

TOPHER: but i'll be sure to relay that info to her

WHO: cam evans & @tophermccarthy​

WHEN:thursday, october 22, morning

WHERE: wmhs weight room

There were a lot of things that Cam was uninterested in during fall break. Actually, there were fewer things he was actually interested in. He wanted to continue to work on growing what he called “a fall break beard.” He wanted to study for the physics test he was sure was scheduled for when they returned on Monday, and he wanted to stay in shape for football. The play was over, and he was running out of distractions to focus on. He knew that there wasn’t much time left in the football season either, but going to the weight room gave him something to think about. If he sat at home then he’d be forced to think about his life choices, everything that came with thinking about going to college and how royally fucked up everything felt. But now, he could just focus on the way his biceps were burning as he did curls. When he’d told his dad that he was going to spend some portion of the day actually working out in the weight room, it was obvious that he was proud of him. Completely and utterly surprised, but still proud of him. They both knew that Cam would have rather been at home playing video games and eating Cool Ranch Doritos. And maybe, he’d enjoy a bag after this. But for now, he was going to distract himself by getting ripped. His eyes shot up as he heard the door open, a frown immediately showing on his face once he realized who it was. Fucking Ronald McDonald himself. He let out a small sigh and shook his head. Topher was one of those things, or people, he was uninterested in interacting with over fall break. “Getting in shape for baseball?” He asked with a shrug. “Do you need to be in shape for that? Do you guys run?”

Topher seriously needed to work on his ab game. He wasn’t getting any girls... or guys for that matter and it was probably because he was the physical embodiment of a fucking clown, but since baseball was a spring sport he had plenty of down time to get in shape. He could slack off but he was already slacking in terms of eating habits (courtesy of Mama McCarthy), so putting in the extra work would do him some good. After eating a granola bar, he loaded himself into his pickup truck and went over to the high school. It was a Thursday morning and fall break so the chances of running into someone was slim to none. Most guys loved slacking off, especially when breaks gave them the excuse not to show up to the school. Walking into the weight room, shorts and t-shirt equipped, it didn’t take him long to realize he was alone. More so, to realize he was with Cam Goddamn Evans. “Shit, man, whaddya think we do? Just stand there and beat our dicks for a few hours?” He asked with a scoff. Topher was sure Cam was just trying to poke and prod to get a rise out of him. “Yeah, we run,” he left it at that as he made his way over to one of the presses, popping down a squat on the bench. “What’re you doing here anyway? Isn’t football ending in less than a month?” He asked before following up with, “And it’s fall break. Surely you’ve got something better to do or did that homecoming king charm wear off a little too early?”

★

“Puh-leaseeee, no one’s trying to sneak a peek at your wang, McCarthy,” Carolina slurred, trying to get a grip on something she could pull herself up with. “I was just sleepin’. All the beds are taken.” She got what felt like a solid grip on the side of the tub and pushed herself up, getting a headrush from the quick change of position. “Woah,” she groaned to herself, placing one hand on the wall to keep her from totally toppling over.  

Even though Topher knew Carolina was probably plastered it didn’t help from him muttering out a small, “that’s not true,” maybe it was though. He didn’t know what was said about himself. As Carolina revealed she was just looking for a bed and soon fell over after, he grabbed her arm to keep her steady out of reflex. “You good?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. “Want me to take you home? I’m sure there’s a nice, cozy bed waiting for you there,” he said. He had drank a little bit, but it had been about thirty minutes since his last drink and between Carolina freaking him out and add a combination of water on top of it, he was sure he’d be able to drive her home.

WHO: Carolina Pepper & open @crhqstarters​

WHEN: Friday 10/9, around 1 AM

WHERE: NPC’s House Party

In retrospect, Carolina probably should have taken the night off. She had a long day at school, plus a shift at Rinky Dinks. A responsible person would simply forgo this week’s house party and go home for some rest. But Carolina was about the farthest thing from responsible you could get. A few hours into the party, she found her energy waning, and she decided a power nap is exactly what she needed to perk up. With the couch full, and every bedroom occupied by couples who clearly didn’t get the point of abstinence awareness week, she ended up having to choose between passing out in a closet, or in the bathtub. 

Figuring the bathtub would be more comfortable, she headed into the bathroom, grabbed a towel to use as a makeshift blanket, and pulled the shower curtain closed. She’d closed her eyes for all of two seconds when someone barged in. Her drunk ass had forgotten to lock the door.

“DON’T PEE YET!” She yelled from behind the curtain. She reached for the curtain, but it took her a few moments to get a solid enough grip so she could pull it open. “I could’ve swore I locked the door.”

Topher was never one to turn down a party. He never got too wild, but a night of drinking and socializing? Sounded like a good time to him. He had nursed multiple drinks of bourbon and coke, a slightly different take on others vodka and juice combos or Four Lokos, but he knew his limit when it came to bourbon and he’d keep it that way. Plus, the smell of vodka was enough to want him to hurl and he didn’t want to have any crazy hangovers at practice tomorrow. Three bourbon and cokes later, Topher seriously had to piss so he walked around the house before coming upon one of the bathrooms. Walking in he made his way over to the toilet, unzipping his pants, ready to unload his full bladder until he heard someone. “Shit!” He exclaimed, jumping back seeing Carolina in the tub. “I coulda had my wang out!” He said, zipping his pants back up, the urge to use the bathroom suddenly going away. “What’re you doing in there?” He asked, motioning to the bathtub.

BABY: ugh don’t call me an idiot for asking, okay??

BABY: but my mom has been like, totes bothering me about inviting you over again since homecoming and i don’t trust her not to check my text history

BABY: so... Come to dinner

BABY: or don’t

BABY: it’s up to you. Either way, you’re invited, so

BABY: there.

TOPHER: i'm getting invited to a puckerman dinner??? woah

TOPHER: feelin honored if i do say so myself

TOPHER: should i bring anything???

TOPHER: and does your mom think we're like..... a thing?

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Topher McCarthy & @frankiepucker​

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: Friday, October 9th. Afternoon.

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: WMHS Parking Lot.

Topher was strangely enjoying his robo-baby project. Frankie had left most of the work to him and he had spent most of the week with the baby which he didn’t mind. Hey, if he got Frankie had to metaphorically give birth for little Willie Nelson to be in his arms then he might as well take the reins on the fake feedings and fake diaper changings. As the school day ended, he made his way out to his truck, baby carrier in arm when he spotted Frankie. “Yo, Frankie, hold up!” He called out as he cased after her. When he caught up to her, he had the biggest grin on his face. “So....” he started to trail off swaying his shoulders as if he was some schoolgirl. “I’m thinking since our time with little Willie Nelson McPuckerman is coming to an end that we should do something to commemorate him by... I’m thinking - family photos?” He suggested, tucking his lips into his mouth as he waited for an answer. “C’mon, we’ll stop by Party City, grab some shit, and then get some photos taken at one of those photoshoot places in the mall. Besides I’ve already bought a little sweater vest for Willie Boy and he needs some pics in it. Waddya say, mom? I’ll even bribe you with dinner.”

From an outsider’s perspective, Zoe and Baby’s relationship dynamic probably looked insane. They fought like cats and dogs, and while it could get extremely ugly at times, they loved each other even harder. It was an unexplainable bond, and even though Baby had a way of getting under Zoe’s skin more than anyone else, she’d do just about anything for her little sister. Which was exactly why her eyes were narrowing at the red-headed clown that was stammering and acting like there was nothing going on between him and the youngest Puckerman. “You think you’re friends?” She echoed, her eyebrow raising in the process. “What the fuck does that mean?” It was probably (definitely) Zoe’s fault that she had been out of the loop regarding Baby’s business, but they’d had a come-to-jesus moment at homecoming, and she was working at overdrive to catch up on everything she had missed. And if that meant she had to interrogate a McCarthy (no doubt there were questions that could be asked of Leo as well) until she was blue in the face, she’d do it. “It just seems, to me at least,” she began, twisting the coffee cup around in her hand. “Kind of weird that you take her to homecoming and then show up announced with a coffee if you just want to be her friend. What’s your endgame, McCarthy?” She stilled, her glare easing. “Did you guys have fun at least? Apart from the slushie.”

Topher never had a sibling to compare relationships to, but he assumed that he’d never want a sibling with the way her saw Zoe and Baby’s relationship and his own cousins relationship. Sure, there were reasons for why they all acted the way they did, but Topher felt better off being an only child and not having someone to fight with everyday. When Zoe’s tone got even more hostile, the red-head’s eyes widened and he looked around, almost hoping Baby or Mrs. Puckerman would whip around from somewhere and save him from whatever wrath Zoe had. “I just mean, like she’s not very clear on friendships with people so I think we’re friends because she asks me for rides and she doesn’t seem to completely hate my company,” he stammered out. “But i-it’s not like anything romantic, I swear,” he was basically pleading for Zoe to understand because there was nothing more going on between Topher and Baby. “No, no, I see how it can be interpreted but really, I just want to be friends with her and she’s not exactly the easiest person to be around sometimes so I just wanted to bring her something nice,” he added, not sure if it would help or worsen his case, but it was the truth and he was stopping by on the way regardless, why wouldn’t he grab Baby something too while he was at it? “And in my defense, she asked me to homecoming so the endgame here is that I just wanna be friends,” he shrugged. “She’s cool and like I know not many people are in her corner because of how hostile she can be so I’m just trying to be a friendly face,” Topher stuck his hands in his pockets and then nodded at Zoe’s next question. “Yeah, yeah, we had a good time. I think it was really good for her, you know? I think she really felt good for once. Having someone on her arm for the night, winning, not being looked at for a psychopath for once.”

Course I do. Don’t most people get along with their family?

I know it’s not the most fun sport to watch and it can get a little long, but yeah, it’s entertaining for me when I’m playing.

I don’t remember a whole lot before I moved to Lima but I suppose I miss my dad and homemade biscuits. 

This feels like a weird territory that I should not step into but okay. I would consensually have sex with @aliceinanderson, I would marry @rockyremington, and platonically give @bbpuck a kiss on the cheek and suffer the consequences after.

Nothing happened? Can’t two people go to a dance together without thinking there’s something going on?

Zoe Puckerman was in a foul mood. She had been riding a high when she was dropped off at home by one Cameron Evans on Saturday night, but Sunday morning was a whole different story. With Quinn off at church and Baby god knows where, the silence left Zoe alone with her thoughts - a dangerous place to be as of lately. She had time to stew in her anger with Austin, reflect on her emotional conversation with Theo, and stress over her kiss(es) with Cam. It was simply too much for one teenage girl to handle. The doorbell was a welcome distraction. A small part of her hoped it was Cam coming back for one more kiss, and the thought alone had a bashful smile creeping across her face. The smile quickly crashed as she flung the door open and came face-to-face with Topher McCarthy. What the fuck was Fred the Red doing at her house? Zoe knew of Topher from school, of course, but their interactions had been limited from slim to none at all. On any other day, his overly-pleasant nature would have been alright, charming even, but today was not going to be that day. Zoe couldn’t help the displeased look that took over her face as she leaned into the doorway, arms folded against her chest. “Hi,” she replied, the irritation rolling off her tone in waves. “She’s not here, actually. Hasn’t been all morning.” The emotional roller-coaster Zoe had been riding all morning felt like the booze blues she normally got after a night of drinking, and the sight of the cold brew in his hand had her wheels turning. “I’ll give this to her,” she offered sweetly, plucking the coffee out of his hands. There was no chance it would be there when Baby got home, but he didn’t have to know that. Zoe released a satisified sigh as she took a quick drink from the cup before her eyes settled back on Topher. “What’s up with you and Baby anyways? First the dance, now the coffee. Looks like you’re interested in my baby sis.” 

Topher didn’t know how to react to Zoe. All of their conversations had been little to none in the past and now it probably looked like he had the hots for her younger sister. Shit, if he had a younger sibling he’d probably be acting the same way but he also knew the pair didn’t really get along which made him wonder how nice he could be to Zoe. He’d be nice, he wasn’t an asshole, but he didn’t want to talk too much about Baby in fear of upsetting either of them. “Oh, that’s fine,” he said as Zoe revealed that Baby wasn’t home. He didn’t know where else he could be but he didn’t dwell on it too much. There were a thousand places the younger Puckerman could have went. When Zoe snatched the coffee out of his hand, he didn’t comment on it. She was just a little abrasive despite the sweet voice which was fine. Maybe it was hereditary. “Cool,” he smiled and he definitely didn’t comment on her taking a drink from it. Once again, it was something he didn’t know Baby would be okay with but he wasn’t going to let it eat away at him. Then came the question about his relationship with Baby. “What?” He was a bit flabbergasted. Couldn’t he just be friends with Baby without it looking like he wanted to spend a night with her? “No, it’s not like that,” he shook his head. “She just asked me because we’re just friends. I think,” while he viewed Baby as a friend, he knew Baby didn’t see it the same way and she’d probably rather skin him alive than actually say he was her friend. “But yeah, no deeper meaning than that.”