Diaries of a UNL grad student

SHES 15...NOT ALL GROWN UP!

like one of my friends & his girlfriend have a ghost in their very old new england house that's apparently an old timey little boy who does shit like jump on the bed and slam doors but if they tell him very sternly "daniel, stop that" the activity stops immediately

Radical abolitionist John Brown.

this is something @pagalini and i have enjoyed doing recently, so i will share it with the internet

it is called

DEATH BLENDER

how to enjoy death blender mode:

1 - boot up mario kart 8

2 - hit that multiplayer, baybeeeee

3 - select vs. race

4 - choose those sweet sweet characters 

5 - under the custom rules, set the speed to 150cc (or 200 if you’re feeling frisky), items to ‘bob-ombs only’ and course to ‘choose’ (the track is important to this mode). race number is however many times you want to repeat this atrocity

6 - navigate to the leaf cup and select ‘baby park’

7 - regret your choices

baby park is a short ring of a track, with a total of 7 laps rather than the usual 3. because of this, you can be affected by items used any of the racers, be they first or last place or anywhere in between.

the upshot of this is everyone racing very fast around a tiny track, desperately trying (and failing) to avoid explosions coming at them from all angles while doing their best to dish out their own destruction

winning is not the aim of this game mode - it is simply the unadulterated enjoyment of chaos in its purest from.

during the race, you are a worshipper of bacchus, god of frenzy and ecstacy, and death blender is how you express your devotion

bonus modes:

choose each other’s racers, preferably ones with high speed and terrible turning