“Would you like a cup of coffee?”
✧ / - ̗̀ RANDOM MEME ̖́- / always accepting / @DEATHVISITED : ted.
kassy looked up in surprise, having thought she was the only one in the house awake, though she should have known ted was around lurking. she quickly wiped her eyes before hugging her blanket tighter around her shoulders before giving him a shrug, sniffling with a nod. sebastian had gone out with grant on a date or something and their summer break was slowly coming to an end. she was happy for her best friend, she truly wished him nothing but the best, yet she hadn’t felt this lonely in a long while. for the longest time they had been inseparable, nothing and no one came between them and now.. she was adjusting. getting used to taking the back seat. she didn’t blame sebastian, he was supposedly in love, clearly head over heels for this boy and she wasn’t jealous. she was just.. feeling sorry for herself she supposed.
looking down at the table, she bit her lip to try and keep it from trembling even as tears glistened in her eyes. she heard ted starting a pot and wondered what he thought of her crying. she rarely cried, only times she could remember around him was if she was ever physically hurt or when sebastian had been upset or injured. she wasn’t sure ted had ever seen her like this, especially since she tried her best to keep her own emotions on the back burner. she tried to think of what her own father would do if he saw her like this. he’d probably do nothing, pretend he didn’t see or realize she was upset and go along with his business. he’d probably be angry if he knew she was crying about her friendship with sebastian of all things.
blinking away tears she realized ted had slid a tissue towards her and she gratefully took it to quickly dab her eyes and wipe her nose. while the coffee was being made they were quiet and it wasn’t until he poured her a cup that he sat on the stool beside her and wrapped an arm around her. fuck, she thought as fresh tears brimmed in her eyes and she leaned her head against his shoulder. she bit her lip and shut her eyes tightly as her hands wrapped around the mug, trying her best not to fall apart. it was so stupid, she knew change would happen, that sebastian would eventually fall in love, she knew that she would have to share him, see him less. it was just seeing it all happening in front of her that was a very painful reminder that aside from him, she did not have a close connection with anyone else. some would argue she had alec and to an extent she could agree but it wasn’t the same. it would never be the same.
“thank you…” she said quietly, barely trusting her voice not to break. when he turned to wrap her in a tight embrace, kassy tensed as emotions seemed to bubble up and boil over, unable to keep them down anymore. though kassy didn’t quite see ted as a father figure, he was the closest to a good father figure she had. she looked up to the man, and though she was never into what he had sebastian do; camping and training etc, she admired him. she enjoyed his bluntness, his fierce protectiveness to his family, and his surprisingly open arms and somewhat fatherly advice to her. she cared what he thought which was rare for her and perhaps even felt… special to him in a strange way. he was a very intimidating man and for him to accept her, it meant a lot. he was also far more present in her life than her own father was.
when he embraced her she shifted, releasing the mug on the counter to grip his shirt as she quietly sobbed against his shoulder. she felt shame as she cried, hoping he wasn’t disappointed. that she had always been strong and there for sebastian and now she was crumbling. that she had always been so confident, that hardly anything bothered her, so much easily rolled off her back and how different that was to who he was holding in this moment. the truth was she had moments where she struggled immensely with that confidence, struggled to accept and love who she was even if she knew and prided herself for not being everyone’s cup of tea. she felt like something was wrong with her, like she didn’t quite come out right, like she didn’t quite ever truly fit in, like a part of her was broken. she knew the numbness would follow these painful feelings of loss and at times she couldn’t tell what was better or worse, the ache in her chest or that numbness.
a soft hiccup escaped her as she tried to breathe deeper, her crying slowly beginning to ease while hugging tighter to ted as she sniffled. his tight embrace eased that tension in her chest a little and exhaustion began to seep into her bones. it was beyond late anyways and now she felt as if she could fall asleep right where she sat. “i’m sorry…” she said quietly to the man as he held her, hoping she hadn’t made him miss time with jules or anything else important. “and thank you for the coffee…” she added as she peeked up at him, those cold blue eyes looking down at her intimidating to most. to her she thought she might have seen a twinkle in them as he reassured her quietly. tears leaked down her cheeks as another intense surge of emotions crashed into her like a tidal wave and she offered a shaky smile only to hug him tightly.
“I know I’ll be okay…” she managed through moments of being choked up. “It’s just… it’s just hard. i’m so happy for him, ted, I really am… it just.. it just hurts… as stupid as that is. I know he’s still going to be around — I just… need to accept the change.” she shrugged, eyes closed as she listened to his heartbeat. ted was always calm and though some could find it unnerving she felt it soothing, slowly easing away that nagging loneliness.
