probably not a vampire

like im okay with being medium attractive and having a moderately clean house. instagram reels just bounce off of me like water off a ducks back

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

I have a horrible confession to make

I don't know which one is Dan and which one is Phil 😔

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

Read the comments, just this once

I feel like there’s literally no stronger swear word than when a girl in bonnet in a movie says something like, “But Lady Snapplecap says I cannot until I come of age!” and a dude wearing pants tucked into his boots and an open shirt replies, “DAMN Lady Snapplecap!” with the force of 435 F-bombs

Damn, that's useful

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

OH HELL THE FUCK YES

@grizzly-bear-official

Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.

just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

We’re happy to have you!