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got hit with that late-spring depression. im not supposed to be sad after may 1st so this is upsetting. my internal clock has been tragically thrown out of whack

i’ve started birding but i have to buy binoculars though because i’ve only spotted 4 species so far. pathetic 

take my comprehensive exams tomorrow morning. after that i’ll basically be done with my masters and no longer have any use for all this political knowledge floating around in my head

feel ok mentally but my drinking is once again reaching dangerous levels. also I’ll basically be done with my grad program after this week so it’ll probably get worse. i blacked out during dungeons and dragons last weekend lmao

i completely understand why people choose to move away from the midwest but every spring i realize again why i could probably never do so myself. thunderstorms will start happening soon and i will be at peace. 

finally watched annihilation and all i can think about is watching it again 

my band broke up today. very upset. lead member suddenly quit. have to cancel five shows and scheduled recording sessions. RIP sleep patterns :( 

keep staying up past my bed time listening to sad music and feeling existentially isolated and end up crying smh im taking a benadryl tonight

once again. I find my self very confused

i asked my friend to tell the story of the time he walked into traffic and caused a big accident but he told a different story than the one I knew bc he’s done it three times lmao