surely not cool enough for you

#i actually understand less

me, buying things i don’t need: this is going to solve everything

The two most culturally important things from the past few years are Friday by Rebecca Black because we learned we like hating things more than we like liking them and Cookie Clicker cause we figured out the only reason people play video games is to watch the numbers go up and since then we’ve just been applying those lessons to new and better incarnations of those two things.

date a peach who you have tickle fights with

grey is just pastel black

can’t believe i was born a human with responsibilities instead of a cement particle in a statue of some forgotten yet heavily revered entity that ended up sunk in a river and evokes heavy but clouded emotion when it’s brought back up to the surface… feel like that would be a better match dot com for my personality

Imagine having a slumber party with Benedict Cumberbatch. You snuggle in blankets and watch all your favorite shows while he plays with your hair.

i would call the police if he was in my house

who cares