hold my hand

“well, you know what they say; the customer’s always right. and the passengers are customers. they pay for the ticket on the ship and for everything they get whilst they’re on board. it’s like we’re not human beings, we’re just robots with no emotions or feelings. we just exist for their pleasure and help. which is whatever, but you know, it’s a bit shit.” xavier smiled a little as delilah kept talking and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pressed his cheek against her hair. “you’re a babe, you know that? sometimes just need a shoulder to whine on. especially after a shitty shift. but you can do the same with me. always. if you ever need to cry or whine on someone, that’s me. you can just come and have a chat and i’ll listen to everything. that sounds lovely. real fucking nice. i know you can’t actually blame them if they’re feeling ill, but god. aim a little, at least.”

“yeah, but they need to realise that like, i’m not the man. i’m working for the man. i’m working for the man under the man under the man. probably even more under that. they’re just annoying and don’t have any care for anything but themselves, but what can you do?” he shrugged, unscrewing the cap of his water bottle and drank heavily from it. he was surely in need of something to keep his hydration levels up and the water was heavenly to him now. “they’re so fucking annoying. like, honestly, you ordered the food and it didn’t look like what you thought it would. it’s still the food you ordered, mate, get fucking with it.”

“i can’t say i blame you too much. it’s like when passengers win big, they give me a couple chips on their way out. though, i’m not too sure on the policy about that one, so i haven’t done anything with any of them, yet. don’t want to get myself fired over it, you know?” he laughed a little, though the situation was potentially bigger than just a joke he was trying to make it.

“oh, trust me. i’m plenty used to it. you just gotta get it off your chest sometimes, you know?” xavier had to be honest, he had only heard akira sing a few times but her voice was heavenly. though, he wasn’t sure he could tell her that without it sounding strange or like he was a fanboy for her or something. “yeah, i know what you mean. you’re not? why’s that? your voice is amazing and every time i’ve seen you, however little, you’re always rocking the stage and making everything pretty damn incredible.” well, that was one way to do it. he just hoped she didn’t find him strange for it. though, he had never met a person who didn’t like being praised about their talents.

“it really is. but i guess there’s nothing you can do when you’re really nothing more than the hired help, you know? it’s a bit of a mess, but we can’t change it. just have to deal with it and roll with the punches. yeah, it was just me. it’s usually such a slow night, so it’s not like there’s actually a need for multiple guys on. but there’s always one passenger who just wants to fuck everything up for you, you know?” xavier rolled his shoulders back and lifted his hand to rub over his face. talking about it all actually seemed to make him feel worse about the situation, so he just sort of wanted to phase out of talking through it. “well, damn. did he prove it? did you believe it? ‘cause like, that sounds pretty damn insane and weird. but also kinda cool? i don’t even know.”

“er, i totally would. and i definitely will if you ever need me to. the passengers can be such assholes on here, it’s just shit. but then you get some that are real nice and make you realise why you’re even here.” xavier grinned, flashing his teeth as nina spoke and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a cuddle. as roommates, they were close and xavier loved spending time with nina. she was like his little sister. he felt he needed to protect her and keep her safe always. “oh yeah? did milo look after you properly, then? didn’t try anything on with you? i’ll fight him if he does.” his mouth brushed over the shell of her ear and he grinned. “i’d win.”

“nah, i’m just used to it. don’t worry about it, darlin’.” truth be told, xavier knew it was a little toxic, but he had been so used to it that he just swept that matter under the rug and ignored it. which, again, he knew it was dangerous and toxic to do so, but he was so damn used to brushing his feelings off. bonnie was a sweet girl and she always had a very cheery disposition. he knew that if he was ever feeling down about anything, he could go to her and she would be able to make him feel better about everything in mere seconds. just the sight of a smile of her face brought a smile to his. “i know you are, bon. it means a lot to me, you know. i don’t say it very often, but i like talking to you. you’re a really good friend.” xavier smiled and reached out to brush his fingers over the back of bonnie’s hand. the action was done without thinking and he didn’t bother to pull his hand back even after he realised what he was doing. it felt rather natural and to tear it away would feel awkward and forced. to him, at least. “yeah, i guess so. i don’t really interact with the kids much. not that i don’t love kids, ‘cause i do. me and kids go way back.” he laughed a little at himself and shook his head. “but anything to make your job easier, right? but then, they make it harder at the same time and that can be really frustrating. but you manage to do it all with a smile on your face. it’s pretty admirable, you know.”

“it’s just back home, i’d have been shouted at about six times during all that to shut up, grow up and move on. it’s nice not to be told that, but i kinda miss it, you know?” he sighed, forcing a small smile onto his features. missing home was always tough for xavier. he hated thinking about the life he left behind. “yeah, no. i know. it’s why i try so hard to either just.. not get pissed about anything or go to the gym and work it out. but i didn’t get a chance and i saw you and well, here we are now.” he laughed a little, finding it hard to resist mirroring bonnie’s cheery composure and smile. “me too, bon. me too. damn. i can see how that would be a little sucky. like, how are you meant to do your job when they’re just hovering? which, i mean, i get. i was like it with all my sisters and i probably still am even though they’re grown now, but like, at the same time, you gotta just.. take a step back and relax. allow the professionals to take control. it’s what you’re there for, after all.”

"honestly. i actually think they forget that rules exist. you’re on vacation, we haven’t abolished the rules of the world, mate. you still have to act like a human being when you’re going places. oh man, that would have pissed me off so bad. i’m surprised you didn’t throw him out. you know, i can do that, right? if you ever need it done, give me a call and i’ll do it. fuck who cares that the cinema isn’t my ‘jurisdiction’. if you’re an asshole, i’m gonna throw you out.” he could say that all he wanted, but xavier was hardly going to jump at the chance to be told off. but he would still not allow the people he worked with to be treated like trash just because they were working on the ship and not vacationing on it. it didn’t give anybody the right to talk down to them or abuse their power as passengers on the ship. “early shifts sound good. i usually get stuck with the lates, but then i get to go to the club right after, so it’s not always bad news, you know? but i bet the cinema gets so many people acting like nuts during the day. and the kids, too. god, i bet they’re the worst.”

“honestly, i ain’t even gonna sit here and list them all. they’re all pretty hot and to leave any out would be heartless of me. there’s not exactly anybody that has caught my eye, but i can certainly appreciate a good looking person when i see one.”

“my favourite movie would probably have to be eight legged freaks. i don’t want anybody coming for me because of that. i just think it’s like.. basically a classic.”

@hollynotlightly / @pvytcn / @cabrcra / @finnomfg / @lilahgoode

“that is quite bold of you to assume, holly.” xavier believed he had already had the best and he would likely not be getting it back again. nothing else even came close to comparing, really. xavier follows holly to her room, mostly because he has no choice as she’s pulling him along with her. he would have followed her anyway, but it just so happened he had no say in the matter this time. “you must be frustrated if you’re coming onto me this strong, hols. damn, I feel so special for being the one you’re projecting onto.” he grins, leaning back against the door and watches as she sits against the bed. he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it once or twice, but he didn’t know if it would ruin their friendship if they did. he got on really well with holly and he felt like he could tell her anything. “i’d love to, hols. but i also do worry about what it could potentially do to us. you know? you mean a lot to me as i don’t wanna lose a good friend. even for some mind blowing sex.” he laughs a little and moves to sit beside holly on the bed. “i can definitely help find you some redbull and we can go for a walk or just sit in here. though, sitting in here will definitely make you fall asleep. maybe a walk is better for you.”

“yeah, i know you would. but that would probably only result in you getting in trouble as well. it’s just not worth it in the long run. which is really disappointing, but what can you do, hey?” her outburst makes him laugh a little, though it did startle him. he should have known not to doubt holly, she could get quite heated when she was challenged. which, in his defence, he hadn’t entirely meant to do, he was just questioning her relay of the previous night. “yeah, yeah. i’ve got it. you’re okay. relax yourself, holly. reign it back in, please.” she had a point. he would have been the same if he went to sleep now and then it just makes it so much worse. she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night any longer and she really needed to in order to get real good sleep. he watches as she places the mug on the side and then as she holds her hand out to him. he reaches up to take it, eyebrows raised as he listens to her speak. her laughter causes him to bring his hand up to his chest, mock offence spreading across his features. “i’ll have you know that one time with me and you will be comparing all other men to a god.” he grins and wraps his arms around her middle. “just shut up. you couldn’t even handle me and you know it, hols. i’m far better than anyone else and also, my game is just too damn good for you. probably break your little body with it.” he was such an idiot when it came to teasing people and he just had to take it too far sometimes. he grinned at passengers that acknowledged them, wanting them to know he wasn’t trying to be rude by not actually responding verbally. 

“i don’t know either, actually. i’ll look into it. though, you know, i’ll doubt it’ll stick. i bet i’d just end up getting in trouble for putting people there. that’s how it goes, right? the staff get the shit even when they’re in the right. it’s bullshit, honestly.” he tuts when she tries to bite his fingers and he shakes his head. “yeah, yeah. i’ve heard it all from you before, hols. you have to do it. you don’t have to drink so much that you feel like you’re dying the next morning though, babe. that is one thing that you don’t gotta do and you know it.” xavier presses a light kiss to holly’s head and watches as she tries to wake herself up a little more. “personally? i think you should just get some rest, doll. i don’t think trying to stay awake any longer is gonna help you. you look shattered and i wouldn’t be surprised if you passed out on me right now. but, if you really are so desperate to stay awake, i guess i can consider helping you out. i’m not back in work till tonight.”

rubbing his hands over his face, xavier laughs a little when he hears holly speak. she’s not entirely wrong, though it does make him miss home that little bit more. “i know. you’re right. but it doesn’t mean the pricks have to try and physically fight me because i’m looking out for their safety. and the other guests, for fucks sake. they’re fucking annoying. i’m over it. if the job wasn’t so good, i’d have left a long time ago.” rolling his eyes, he reaches forward and pinches her cheek lightly between his thumb and forefinger. “well, i was going to have some sympathy for your rotten state, but after you’ve just told me it’s your own fault? nope. that’s all over with. thanks for saving me the energy of worrying about you.” he was only teasing, of course. he knew how parties at the club could get. he had been there more often than not, so he could hardly blame holly entirely for her state.