[nope]

People watched

They all danced and smiled

And I smiled back

It was nice.

I could feel their joy.

Full moon tomorrow

Meteor shower

everything

there’s no hate or worry

I am vulnerable to every emotion without any fear

I love and I feel, and...

it’s no impasse

my heart is open, and it wants are defined

I found something I never conceived

a sense of self and being

and I’m relieved

an inner light

not some simple afternoon delight

something I had not in sight before

calamity was the open door.

patience proving, this December

I have so much here to say

Changes before were just the beginning

I was in a place where I could not speak, 

but think

heal

communicate with myself

and through the day dreams and moments I felt

everything

this last week was full of mending

no jealousy or condecendent of fellow person anymore

I love them all 

I sought help and long pending of this healing felt

and I’m loved, reformed, a better self

I had no access to the world

asserted of my new direction, confidence

a soul projection

through the day I feel it

Maybe tonight I'll go out

Meet some people in mimicry

To find good people left and right,

Searching for nothing particular in sight

But social conversation and company

A social butterfly and I'll be free

Of my own errors and lacking confidence

Build up much on my own instance

but I can’t keep my screen in sight

worked out, drank tea

but nothing will help me find bliss

Right now I’m scorned of my own neglecting

Some matters of myself need perfecting

a better outlook on my world

but then my flower can rebloom

or wilt into impending doom. 

I’m gazing out window, just a boy

stuck in this nighmare, felt like a toy

disposed and hurt, left for sale

I have no temptation for some ale

or any other drug to ail me of this misery

I was scared and scared, focused on my best tact instead of worrying

about keeping myself intact. Spread apart to people I did not care.

My heart wasnt’ polyamorous, I didn’t feel love in the air.

Until I met her standing there

luscious face, big eyes and all that hair

The way she spoke to me was incredible

I knew I was taken for, inevitable. 

I’m come to terms with my fate, 

that I alone can not hate,

this glorious bird as she’s flown by

and now I’m late, this year was a blink of an eye

Perhaps she’s scared as before and leaving herself open door

until one day we met anew, stronger ready,

some friends said. It’s not a matter of sharing bed.

Just you be better for her and she’ll know

Until that day I turn around.

I think even that this winter is foiiy, 

sometimes when I’m feeling jolly, 

knowing that I’ve wept and wept, ready for my new next step

But she has a problem confronting me

though behind the curtain I can see

doubt and strength, beyond any length