. LANGUAGE .

La Fin

This blog has provided a solid foundation of knowledge covering the 4 basic areas to learn in non-verbal communication and hopefully sparked your interest to learn more. Just like learning any language there is always more 'words' or gestures you can learn to perform, read or speak but it's always a good idea to start with the basics.

I hope you enjoyed your time here on this blog! Please feel free to post any questions you feel would be relevant to this blog as I would be happy to answer them for you and discuss in detail.

Bye for now,

Tom

Bibliography

About.com. (2014, Cherry, Kendra). Understanding Body Language. Retrieved from:

http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language.htm

Helpguide.org. (2014, Smith, Melinda). Non Verbal Communication. Retrieved from:

 http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm

Mindtools.com. (2014, Hallett, Tom). Body Language. Retrieved from: 

LEGS

From our head to our toes we've arrived at the final topic in our body language categories. Our legs. Legs are often overlooked as a mode of communication even amongst body language experts and business professionals. These people are so hyper aware of the previous topics on our list that when they consciously try to control or moderate those portions of body language they completely forget what they're legs are 'saying'. In these cases the legs may be the most important tell of a savvy body language whizz!

Feet Together vs. Feet Apart - Your feet can speak volumes about your self-confidence. Feet close together demonstrate a shyness or timidness. While planting your feet shoulder width apart shows that you are solid and more self-assured. 

Crossed Legs vs. Straight Legs - Generally speaking crossed legs when someone is listening to you is a display of being closed off and not wanting to here what you have to say. If the person is facing you has straight legs it shows that they are comfortable and receptive to what you are saying. The reason this is only general guidance is because when women wear skirts to work and are sitting cross legged there is obviously another reason to be sitting that way and shouldn't be taken as an insult.

Direction of Feet - Imagine yourself at Sheridan and you have a group presentation due next week. In order to be prepared all of the members have met up and are sitting in a circle facing each other and discussing the presentation strategy. One thing you can look out for is which direction a person's feet are pointing or say for example someone is cross-legged, which way their two feet point towards. You will find that the people who are favourable to each others opinions will point their feet towards each other while the group members that they disagree withs feet will be pointing away from them. Just remember towards is good and away is bad.

The closeness of Dorothy's feet in The Wizard of Oz suggest that at this moment she was feeling shy and timid.

POSTURE

All I remember about posture is that every time that I had bad posture my Grandma would be the first person to let me know! Perhaps Grandma was on to something after all. She may have intuitively known the implications of what messages my bad posture was conveying to others. Either way or whether or not Grandma was a body language expert a chiropractor or someone simply concerned for her Grandchild she did have a point. Posture is important and plays a vital role in our health and in communication.

Standing Straight with your Arms Crossed - Let's pretend that you are at work and you've just approached your boss with the request of booking a week off of work next month. Your boss is listening to you while assuming the arms crossed position. Now there is a possibility that someone forgot to pay the heating bill and your boss is merely warming himself up, but most likely he is upset by this request as crossed arms represent defensiveness as well as suppressed emotions.

Walking Around with a Hunched Back - Occasionally we can become so tired that we can't even find the strength to stand up straight and walk as we would normally do. Because of this association walking with a hunch is usually a sign of exhaustion and defeat.

Sitting up Straight in a Chair with Hands Palms Placed Flat on Knees - That was a mouthful! When sitting this way one appears attentive and eager to listen. The openness of their lowered hands represents them lowering their guard in a sense and becoming receptive

Leaning Forward in a Chair with Hands Propped up on Legs      Imagine someone in this position. It's almost as if they are constantly about to fully push down on their hands and stand up and leave. This posture is and indication of zero interest in what you have to say and that they are anxious to do something else.

Arms Behind Head / Feet Up on Table / Spread Out - This posture is very primal and occurs more often in males than females. The concept is to sprawl out in order to occupy as much space as possible while in turn subconsciously claiming this space as your own. It is a power display of dominance and is common in alpha males (check out the pic below!) 

 ^^^ Check the ultimate alpha male and most powerful man in the world President Obama displaying his dominance and claiming space ^^^

HANDS

Let's see where do we start? Well, we use our hands for just about everything. From throwing a football, painting a portrait, greetings and salutations, conducting an orchestra, picking an apple, scratching an itch to typing this very blog. It seems like there isn't much our hands can't do. Turns out that our hands can even speak as well and you don't need to understand sign language to be able to read them. So let us put our opposable thumbs to use and take a look at what meaning can be conveyed through our hand movements and gestures.

Rubbing Hands Together - this is a display of anticipation and excitement. It is also used to relieve stress in certain situations. Picture yourself watching 'Wheel of Fortune' and the contestant is vigorously rubbing their hands together as Pat Sajak is just about to announce their prize to them.

Hands on Heart - when people tell you something with one or both hands over the heart it means that they are sincere in what they are telling you. What they are saying is coming from the heart.

Hands Behind the Back - Placing your hands behind your back is a display of confidence since you are exposing yourself openly and appear to be care-free. This one is tricky though because occasionally it can be read that you are hiding something in your hands out of vision.

Hands in Pocket - There are two variations of this gesture with separate meanings. The first is when the hands are entirely placed in the pockets means that someone is not to be trusted. While the second has the hands in the pockets but with the thumbs sticking out. This gesture means dominance.

Closed Palms vs. Open Palms - A closed palm or a clenched fist indicates hostility and aggression while open palms indicate honesty and openness for lack of a better word.

^ Above are some 'retro' pics of hands in pockets, thumbs out ^

Welcome back!

In Part 1 we discussed why non-verbal communications is an important tool to learn in our lives. Just like speaking a new language the information can become quite complex. I've decided to break down body language into 4 of what I would say are the essentials: Eyes, Hands, Posture & Legs. Part 2 will focus (pun intended) on the eyes. Let's get started!

EYES

A person's eyes are known as the "windows to the soul" because they can reveal a lot about what a person is thinking. Sometimes people are known to blink a lot, gaze in many directions or they may hold or not hold eye contact very well. So what could this all mean?

Blinking Eyes - People who blink rapidly reveal distress and unease. Since steady eye contact i usually a sign of truth or confidence, infrequent blinking suggests that people are trying to hide something or control their gaze unnaturally. An example of this would be a Texas Hold'em style poker player getting dealt two aces and trying to conceal their emotions.

Pupil Size - Pupils act as apertures that dilate depending on the light levels in a room. They close when there is too much light and open when there is not enough. However, slight changes in dilation can occur regardless of light levels. If any of you love birds out there are getting mixed signals from a romantic interest, watch their eyes closely. If they become slightly larger when they talk to you this is an indication of elation and excitement. I guess that's where they saying "bedroom eyes" comes from? Hubba-hubba! Time to make your move.

Eye Gaze - There is an art to eye contact and the trick is to not make excessive contact but also not too look away too often. When one gazes too long and without breaking contact it becomes intimidating. However, when one looks away too often it shows that they are disinterested in what you have to say.

Lying - Shifty eyes and lack of eye contact is a good indication or a 'tell' that someone is not being truthful. More specifically, looking constantly to the left. When one looks to the left it stimulates the right side of your brain or the 'creative' side which is mostly likely being used if you are making-up or creating a story or a lie.

4 of the basic body languages used on a daily basis are depicted below:

Last week 'The Meaning of Language' blog ended with a question:

What accounts for over 50% of communication that does not involve the use of words?

The answer is: Body Language!

"The process of communicating nonverbally through conscious or unconscious gestures and movements".

So why is this important? Within our knowledge of a language there is always room for learning new words and improving grammar in order to convey meaning more efficiently. Improving meaning can either be how you express yourself to others efficiently or how you interpret others efficiently.

Schooling throughout our lives has been primarily focused on the word portion of language. Since we now understand that words account for only half of the equation of language it makes you wonder what happened to the other half? Why was body language not taught in school? Perhaps since the unconscious portion is already intuitively part of our psyche educators assume it is efficient enough to brush over and require no more additional thought. I do not know. Regardless, I do know that having a thorough understanding on par with our knowledge of words will help us greatly improve our efficiency in communication. Just like learning the meaning of a new word we can learn the meaning of a new movement or gesture.

To be continued ...

Part 2 will breakdown body language into several categories and definitions as we will learn what daily gestures and movements mean what.

^^^ Fun with body language ^^^ - Young Steve Jobs

This is a picture of Steve Jobs who over his lifetime became a master of body language. In this picture he is doing a gesture called 'Steepling' where your fingers come together and point upwards like the steeple of a church. This is a display of confidence. More specifically, the interlocked fingers indicate more of a 'political steeple', see article below. The steeple becomes a prominent weapon in Steve Jobs body language arsenal in the years to come. Especially during his keynote speeches.

Anyways, more about this next week.

Stay tuned!

Is music the universal language?

Since i do not speak French the words in this song are meaningless to me. I only hear the sound of the instruments and the paralinguistic qualities of Francois's voice. Without understanding the meaning of the words does the song effectively express a feeling? More specifically, would the majority of people who listen to it feel the same emotion? I think so. For me the feeling is poignant. 

Below I have linked a revealing study conducted by Researcher Thomas Fritz that explores the topic in further detail:

Language is generally understood as words both written or spoken which we as humans use to facilitate the communication process. However, it is much broader than that. Language by definition is:

"The system of words or signs that people use to express thoughts and feelings to each other". 

So what does this broader meaning encompass? What 'languages' do we 'speak' or 'read' on a daily basis?

Imagine yourself driving on the highway and the car in front of you starts to 'blink' their rear right light. Within this system the sign (or signal) being used by the driver in front of you expresses their thought of wanting to change over to the right lane. Meaning that communication between people via automobile is a 'language' of coloured lights, intervals and horns. Completion of the graduated license system qualifies drivers as fluent in speaking the 'language' of the road.

Now that we have a greater perspective on what language truly entails what do you suppose the most common form of it is that we use on a day to day, person to person basis? I'll give you a hint:

It accounts for over 50% of communication and does not involve actual words whatsoever... 

Stay tuned in to find out!