toko ⋆.˚

interests of mine consists of...

-JTHM, I feel sick, Squee, or just anything about Jhonens early comics

-INVADER ZIM

-probably much more but my interests are obvious right now

i hope i could meet you inside my asks :3!!

ᯓ✦ neither you or noir really knew how you both developed this partnership between you both, you just popped in one day hoping for the best and came out with sort of quiet knight that you’d like to call noir.

ᯓ✦ you both clicked almost instantly when you both met, you happened to mention to say you loved (or more wanted) a prince charming since you loved fairy tales as a kid and noir took you up on that offer by yes, offering himself to be your prince charming out of all things.

ᯓ✦ you loved being close to him as he did with you, whether that was missions or just having meetings, it was obvious that you two were close, you two couldn’t help it if you tried.

ᯓ✦ that need for closeness ended up you and irving living in the same place with each other, or maybe even better, in the same bed! it’ll feel less empty, more hugs, and the feel of presence for all!

ᯓ✦ irving feels like you make him whole just by giving him your all, whether that was friendship, your attention, or whatever you gave him, he couldn’t help but do the same with you, how can he especially with nights where he deprived himself of sleep whenever youd had a nightmare, he knows you’re his person and that he’s yours.

ᯓ✦ i have no idea if i ever mentioned this but i like to imagine noir absolutely loves holding you, whether it’s when you two are laying in bed while watching videos on your phone or when you two are sitting while you talk his ears off, he’d find any excuse just to hold or touch you for long periods of time, he needs that physical affection that isn’t harmful.

ᯓ✦ which led to him pinning you down in the shared bed soon having you giggling as his hands aimlessly roam the ticklish parts of your body he grew to learn, i loves hearing you giggle, he loves hearing just you.

ᯓ✦ he also enjoys watching you sleep, not in a weird way at least, he’d make sure you’d fallen asleep before just staying completely still beside you while making sure you stay comfortable, it brings him to ease that the one that finally understands him is so open to him of all people.

ᯓ✦ and he can’t help but feel the same towards you, allowing himself to sleep when you’re around either out and about inside the apartment or while you both watched cartoons after a scary movie.

ᯓ✦ you both couldn’t help but get a bit attached to each other which led to everyone to assume you both just so happened to be together without telling anyone but neither of you felt it was really that way, you too understood each other well enough to please each others needs whether it was emotional or physical.

ᯓ✦ you two just “get” each other on a deep level and if no one understands that then they don’t need too.

ᯓ✦ noir would even get questioned by the rest of the seven on why he’s so touchy with you, hand on your cheek after making sure you’re alright and all he could do is gave a simple shrug before going along with his day.

ᯓ✦ he doesn’t need to explain himself and his relationship with you, as long as it makes sense to him then he’s okay with it.

ᯓ✦ he even enjoys the times where you both play hide and seek after a long day before you decide to eat cereal for dinner that same night while you talk away.

ᯓ✦ and only you’re allowed to really give him any type of nickname like lamby (which i really love), anyone who tries to call him by it that isn’t you he won’t respond to them at all, he only responds to you and only you to any nicknames that isn’t just ‘noir’.

ᯓ✦ when the day came he wanted to take off his mask to you, his heart melted to the gentle touches your fingers placed on his scarred face, soon squeaks came out of his mouth as his bare face was buried against your neck while you cradled him, irving wishes he could stay like this, stay your little lamby in your warm arms.

ᯓ✦ irving may even suggest getting married because one, it’ll please the sevens and the fans portrayal of relationship, and second, it’ll be a great way for you two to live comfortably, “wherever is the best if have each other but it’ll be better if it’s binding.” he’d written explaining himself while nuzzling the fabric under his mask against the side of your temple.

ᯓ✦ it may have not been healthy with how much you both depended on each other but that co-dependency also laid in understanding within each other that no one else can properly copy, that is what makes yours and irving’s relationship so unique.

ᯓ✦ but it was definitely wasn’t healthy when you found irving’s cold body on the floor and all you could think to do was fall on your knees while your hands cradled his head on your lap, wanting to scream and cause a scene to bring attention to the only man who was able to see and understand your soul but all you could muster was taking his mask off while stroking his hair and face scars with quiet sobs.

ᯓ✦ but the moment someone enters the room you were quick to put the mask back on because you knew irving only felt comfortable the most with you when it came to his scars and you don’t want to violate that even in death.

ᯓ✦ he trusted you and you only, you didn’t want to betray him like that even for a moment.

ᯓ✦ and when it came to it, you couldn’t even look at his replacement in the face without feeling you needed to vomit, this was all to much for you to handle.

ᯓ✦ justin is very much oblivious to your emotions at the start so you unfortunately have to give him hints you actually do want something more.

ᯓ✦ what makes it worse is how you were basically hit like a train with the revolution that he very much likes someone else, that someone being the new member of the seven, sister sage.

ᯓ✦ you don’t even know how you got yourself into this self proclaimed love triangle (if it can even be called that) but you thought it was absolutely bullshit.

ᯓ✦ hearing him blabber about sage but you dare don’t say a word since you are friends with him and apart of you is quote unquote “happy”.

ᯓ✦ he’s having a blast talking about her like some dang puppy happy to see their owners.

ᯓ✦ but sometimes you rather have that attention that was towards her to be more toward you instead because you know you can give him what he wants, or at least you’d think you can, but for now you’d just take the way he sometimes insults you by calling you dumb for the things you do that he labels as “stupid”, its no biggie.

ᯓ✦ there was sometimes a small thought on the back of your mind wondering if the original noir would’ve treated you like this, he was pretty friendly to you before he died, but now you can only think of the present, and it’s mediocre as hell.

ᯓ✦ the only way you’ve told justin is if you didn’t tell him yourself, you muttered out accidentally to the deep you liked him and basically begged him to not say thing but to your demise, he gone and told him anyways like the huge dick he is thinking it would be funny to do so.

ᯓ✦ and when justin finds out about this, he’s appalled, what the hell do you mean you liked him and never told him a thing yet told the deep? and to his frustration he corned you when no-one was around and turned this into an argument you didn’t want to have at all, ESPECIALLY inside the work place, anything but this for gods sake.

ᯓ✦ this breaks out in a huge argument between you both, you weren’t sure why he was making it such a big deal especially with his proclaimed love for sage, now this just pissed you off more than it should have, you should be angry at him not the other way around, hell you should’ve been more angry at the deep for getting yelled at.

ᯓ✦ but yet in the heat of the moment, tears starting to pour from your eyes your hands can’t help but pull his lips onto your own, so he knew you were serious about this but as quick you pulled in you quickly pulled back whilst backing away, you never regretted something so much until now, and now all you wanted was for him to stab you straight in the heart to end your misery forever.

ᯓ✦ but he didn’t, justin stood there for a moment, stunned, but hands soon told a different story. his hands glossing over your tear stained cheeks before pulling your face toward his and kissing you, probably more intense than he anticipated.

ᯓ✦ before you both knew it, hands were immediately grabbing onto the cloth of each others costumes, gasping for air here and there in the slightest of hopes no one will walk in but that thought was over when you and justin finally separated while his thumb swiped away a tear that still streamed from your eyelid.

ᯓ “i think i love you more then sage…”

ᯓ “the fuck do you mean you think? we just made out!!”

ᯓ✦ and since then justin made a complete 360, following you around like some sort of lost puppy, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it at all, who the hell wouldnt?

ᯓ✦ but one thing justin doesn’t change completely is making you feel jealous here and there, in his own humble opinion him seeing you get all fuzzy and whiney over him giving someone else attention is a little endearing (and a little cute), especially with how you nuzzle into his chest when he says he’s sorry and hugs you, 10/10 will most likely do it again.

ᯓ✦ he’s sorta an asshole but he won’t take it too far, seeing you cry once was far enough.

ᯓ✦ you had a decently long day so when irving dragged you home crayons and paper in hand, you couldn’t help but smile.

ᯓ✦ you both drew away while here and there you’d catch him look up to the cartoons he placed on your tv before looking back down, sometimes even looking at you before quickly looking away when you made eye contact with him.

ᯓ✦ after every page you two would finish you both would show them off before irving motioned his hands is if asking to keep yours, and after the first time you just hand them over without even being asked, you know how much they’ll mean to him in the long run.

ᯓ✦ he’d especially keep the ones where you’d drew you both together, maybe because he loves how you capture yourself and how you also capture him in your style, he thinks it’s a way to look into your mind while it’s on paper.

ᯓ✦ irving even urges you to keep his which you of course do, how can you not? you absolutely love his drawings, whether it was a mix of drawings of buster beaver, some of his other animal friends, and you, you keep them all!

ᯓ✦ you even have a corner of your wall inside your room dedicated to the drawings you gained that same night and the next coming nights where you two decide to have a sorta drawing date with another to destress from that days activities.

ᯓ✦ irving can’t help but enjoy himself with times with you, watching cartoons and showing off silly drawings you two make, he’s in heaven.

ᯓ✦ one thing justin is surprised about is getting the ‘role’ of black noir, another is being shoved into another role he didn’t expect, being a father.

ᯓ✦ you had to explain to him to not take off his mask around the kid until you’d be able to explain what happened to the original noir, to their father, despite the kid trying their best to take it off.

ᯓ✦ he feels like he shouldnt have taken this role because he feels like he didnt sign up for this, this feels so weird to him, having to take care of a kid that isn’t his but he feels like he cant just up and leave since he knows leaving would break the kids heart.

ᯓ✦ but he rationalizes it by telling himself it’ll hurt less than finding out their actual father is dead, so he manages.

ᯓ✦ him managing to try to be how irving would’ve been before he took over (with your help of course), justin couldn’t help but actually feel joy being an actual dad, playing silly games the kid would make up, listening to what happened in their day, play fighting, and soon tucking them into bed at the end of the day.

ᯓ✦ but what stuck him the most, was being called “dad” every single time, he knows at the back of his mind he’s just pretending to be and the guilt eats at him alive, especially that look on their face whenever he rejects their hands trying to take off the mask after being told they loved seeing their dads face, he feels so guilty.

ᯓ✦ until one day he was caught off guard without his mask, his heart breaks in half seeing the confused turned fear face the kid had seeing him, trying to explain as the kid sobbed into your shoulder asking where their daddy is, he absolutely blew it and he knew it.

ᯓ✦ his heart breaks even more seeing the previously very energetic and talkative kid justin met become all wary of him, immediately running to you or hiding when they see him, he knew he wasn’t really great with kids before but now he’s just devastated.

ᯓ✦ you urged him to at least try to ease into it again now that he could ‘start over’ as himself this time, by giving him a black sheep plush and telling him to start with that, and of course he obliged.

ᯓ✦ justin doesn’t want to just do this for you, but also for the kid, so when he’s finally able to talk to the kid one on one he’s patient with it, he doesn’t want to be pushy as he goes on his knee to meet them at their level, “patience is key” you’d tell him.

ᯓ “hey kid, i know im not your dad but…i still care about you and i want to take care of you like you’re my own, and i know how much you miss your dad so i…im sorry…”

ᯓ✦ he didn’t expect was the kid to almost instantly leap and hug him, nuzzling into him while they cried, justin couldn’t help but lift the kid and hold them close to comfort them, this is a small step but he’s getting there slowly.

ᯓ✦ and don’t worry, the kid absolutely loved the plush, “reminds me of papa” they’d tell justin as they played with it.

ᯓ✦ as time goes on, the kid would become more comfortable with justin in their own way, sometimes drawing him in pictures alongside them and irving being labeled, “papa, me, and justin :)” before giving it to justin, which he cherishes with his heart.

ᯓ✦ justin even began carrying a photo of you three inside his wallet he’d gotten from of the many family outings you all would go to, he even catches himself saying he has a kid but he never dares corrects himself because to him it’s true, despite not being the actual father, he can’t help but feel elated at the title.

ᯓ✦ and he was ecstatic when the kid first calls him “papa justin”, he decided to not put the kid down for anything the rest of the day.

ᯓ✦ also random but i have no idea if you guys know the tiktok audio that goes, “let me tell you this michaela, you’re playing checkers, i’m fucking your dad.” is some type of shit justin would probably say to the kid before getting hit.

ᯓ✦ og noir and noir ll are very much different and it’s obvious but there are also some things they happened to do similarly.

ᯓ✦ unlike irving (due to circumstances) justin talks a lot even if he doesn’t realize it, even more when he’s all nervous and jittery which he very much is around you.

ᯓ✦ but like irving, justin is very mindful of you, your feelings, just anything revolving around you. like the way when you two kissed, justin can’t help but ask you things like putting his hands on you as you two do so, he scared he’d make you uncomfortable if he doesn’t.

ᯓ✦ despite justin being able to overpower you (even if you have powers or not) he doesn’t want or even care too, he lets you drag him around like some sort of ragdoll if that means making you happy.

ᯓ✦ you sometimes wonder how lucky you got when it came to two gentle men wearing the same costume of an relentless assassin.

ᯓ✦ he even had a habit of picking you up and flying in the air with no purpose, so sorry if you’re afraid of heights (which he loves when you cling onto him for dear life)

ᯓ✦ justin absolutely loves when you don’t make his narcolepsy a huge thing, like the first time he fell asleep out of nowhere mid dinner at your house, he was surprised he woke up on your bed with you nodding off beside him.

ᯓ✦ and since then it made him realized he was completely safe with you (and completely enjoying random naps with you)

ᯓ✦ it may not seem like it at first but justin is a provider at heart, he LIKES to take care of you out of love not obligation, this is assume you’re dating him after the original noir dies.

ᯓ✦ he took care of you while you were in such a depressive and vulnerable state, bring you food and hand-feeding it to you, helping you bathe, and trying to get you to slowly get back into things when you don’t have the energy to do so, he’s willing to wait as long as it takes.

ᯓ✦ and since then he’s been your biggest cheerleader, saying how wonderful you look whenever you show off an outfit that nights outing, he thinks you look amazing either way.

ᯓ✦ he cares about you full heartedly.

ᯓ✦ justin gets pretty shy when he asks you for your input on his acting, sometimes he even asks you to act alongside him which leads to the both of you giggling by the end of it.

ᯓ✦ he also gets pretty shy about gifting you anything, it could be as simple as a new cup you’ve been meaning to get to as big as an expensive ring you’ve been eyeing.

ᯓ✦ which led to him proposing to you with the same ring, jumping around and punching the air when you said yes

ᯓ✦ also i’m sorry but i sorta like to think that justin likes to baby you when you start crying over something small or when you start crying due to a argument you both had, the second he sees tears he’s folding immediately and has you in his arms while he comforts you and saying he’s sorry.

ᯓ✦ HES A LOVER AND A FIGHTER!!

ᯓ✦ you were the first to be known of irving’s death and soon his “replacement” but it was never a replacement, they just hired someone to play your irving.

ᯓ✦ you were angry, of course you were, especially confused when noir ll came in to shake your hand saying something, “i’m glad to be working with you!”

ᯓ✦ you couldn’t help but walk away almost immediately with tears in your eyes, leaving who you remembered the man named being justin stunned with his hand extended.

ᯓ✦ but he understands, to a certain degree, you’re grieving but he needs this, he needs the info on how noir acts so he can perfect the so called character, so he keeps pushing you, and you can’t help but push him back and away.

ᯓ✦ you don’t need someone nagging you constantly on how to perfectly clone your boyfriend, you don’t need that you just need him back, irving back.

ᯓ✦ but you have to keep up with public appearances, you have too or else everyone will suspect things, so you held the doppelgänger’s hand until you can pull away to indulge in your grief once more.

ᯓ✦ you absolutely hated how much it creeped you out whenever you saw him walking him around in irving’s costume, it makes you want to vomit with how much nerves it makes you feel.

ᯓ✦ until he finally cornered you and keep asking you things and soon overwhelming you till you cried.

ᯓ “okay, i’ve been asking and you’ve been ignoring, you knew noir the most so i really need your input on how to act like him, his motivati- wait why are you crying?”

ᯓ✦ and since then he slowly started to back off, you’re grieving and he gets that now, maybe he shouldn’t have pushed you this far so he’ll back off until you’re ready to actually talk to him.

ᯓ✦ what he didn’t expect was a few days later, he watched you cry to yourself from afar backing from the urge to go and comfort you since he knew at the back of his mind he’ll make it worse somehow, he’s quite literally wearing the mask of the guy you loved so he feels bad.

ᯓ✦ so he opted to not wear the mask at all around you unless he has to be seen by the public with you, but other than that his face is bare as a sorta way to tell you that he doesn’t really want to replace the man you loved, it’s just him and that’ll be up to you to accept him when you’re ready, whatever that means he guesses.

ᯓ✦ so when a rather really rough mission happens leading to you passing out it was noir ll that brought you to the hospital and stayed until you woke up and got better, this was obvious to you because by the the time you woke up you saw him slumped, head laying just beside your leg, and unmasked as he snored with sleep.

ᯓ✦ you wondered how long he’d been like that but you can’t help but be a bit moved that he’d stay with you, someone he hardly knew so you let him stay, just this once while your hands traced the part his face where irving’s scars would’ve been.

ᯓ✦ you feel awful for treating him so bad, but you were in a bad place, you both knew that, and you knew how patient this new guy was with you despite his occasional pushing, but he just wants to play the part so you can’t blame him.

ᯓ✦ and when he woke up, you couldn’t help but feel like you needed to apologize to him whilst your fingers subconsciously played with his own.

ᯓ “you said your name was justin, right? i’m sorry for being such an ass to you…”

ᯓ “nah you’re okay, it’s mainly my fault for being all pushy and stuff, dude…”

ᯓ✦ justin sometimes can’t help but get a bit excited whenever the seven would had meetings and it looked like your eyes light up by looking at him just before looking away.

ᯓ✦ he couldn’t help himself but understand why the original noir loved and adored you, he was feeling it all even if he didn’t realize it.

ᯓ✦ apart of you couldn’t help yourself but slowly feel the same toward him yet you also can’t help yourself but feel the guilt fresh in your mind.

ᯓ✦ hes even more excited when that same day you invited him over to your place for dinner, maybe to help him get the know noir’s “character” better or at least that’s how you both rationalize it.

ᯓ✦ and before you knew it after he was finished acting out something you suggested, looking over to you for what it seemed like approval your body decided to move on its own, moving cloth underneath the mask just below his nose and kissed him.

ᯓ✦ one thing led to another now leaving you both laying on the couch, your face on his bare chest before jolting up, now your hands to your face as you sat while the guilt ate at you, justin soon joining you a bit confused.

ᯓ “hey what’s up, what happened?”

ᯓ “this feels so…wrong, why does this feel so wrong justin?”

ᯓ “i…i don’t know, im sorry, but cmon, let’s lay back down, okay?”

ᯓ✦ you obliged as his hands guided you back onto his chest as you cried with him cradling you soon after, god his heart feels like it’s aching hearing you like this yet there isn’t much he can do but hold you until you’re done.

ᯓ✦ since then, all those things you did with irving before he died became natural with justin, walks around the park, occasional dinner nights at the local diner you liked, and even quiet cuddle sessions, maybe you should let yourself move on even just a bit, irving wouldn’t like you sheltered in your misery is what you thought to yourself when you did those things with justin.

ᯓ✦ and what shattered your heart the most is when the day you wanted to tell justin about all those feelings, you were the one that found him dead from stabs to his throat.

ᯓ✦ what shit luck you have, or the shit luck the people have when having contact with the black noir costume.

ᯓ✦ noir is stressed, stressed for you and for himself, from the looks of it he’s great with kids but he hadn’t held something so small in seems like a lifetime so you have to calm him down after the birth while he holds the baby.

ᯓ✦ but after finally calming down, he’s in heaven on earth with how in awe he seemed as he cradled the new born cooing at him, you hope he doesn’t start sobbing while he ushers you to rest with baby in hand.

ᯓ✦ when you both get home, he is having a blast dressing the baby up in animal themed onesies be bought then showing them off to you afterwards, you couldn’t help but take pictures while he did so because the absolute joy on his face.

ᯓ✦ and whenever he comes home from a mission he’s so quick to take off his mask before holding the baby since every time he does the baby gets so excited to see their papa as their little hands can’t help but clutter and touch his face, it makes him feel much less insecure about his scars.

ᯓ✦ there are sometimes when irving knows there isn’t much going on at vought so he opted to make his own ‘bring your kid to work day’ to just spend time with his kid at work in one of their many animal onesies and to sorta show off that he isn’t just some silent assassin, he has an amazing life outside of that (no one is touching or holding the baby at all though, he doesn’t really trust anyone too besides maybe starlight and maeve).

ᯓ✦ but most times he just has a photo of you both and shows that off to the rest of the seven, whether they like it or not they WILL be forced to look one way or another since it’s the only thing he allow the others to know about him.

ᯓ✦ apart of him also enjoys how much the baby takes from you, like your eyes, the little mannerisms, and among other things, he even likes when they take some things from him.

ᯓ✦ one of them being the love the draw, you’d be making dinner while your kid tries to copy irving’s of drawing buster beaver (which he very much keeps and puts on the fridge after they’re finished with them)

ᯓ✦ irving is also one of those dads when anything huge happens like their baby walking for the first time or first day of school, he’s sobbing IMMEDIATELY, it even goes for the smallest things like his kid giving him a hug before leaving, he definitely needs be to be consoled afterwards.

ᯓ✦ and don’t get him STARTED on when the word “papa” gets said, he’s holding that baby tightly for the rest of the day, the baby has him wrapped around their finger.

ᯓ✦ his child being a complete opposite from him when it comes vocally was quite exciting for him, them being loud and talking a lot like children do to either him or you about their day at school or just about just about anything really on their mind, it fills him with absolute joy.

ᯓ✦ irving can’t help himself but go to the kids school when they reach elementary school just so their kid can be seen as cool (despite their huge amount of friends already), he can’t help himself okay :(?

ᯓ✦ but that kid is most definitely spoiled with love by you and irving <333