TO EXHUME

“The older I get the more I come to understand the silent, sad, and sometimes haunting stares of our elders. They may gaze off into the distance or sit among a crowd of people and not talk much, but not because they have nothing to say, but that they don’t know where to begin. Life is difficult as much as it is a beautiful gift. We accumulate so many experiences and memories as we age that it sometimes becomes more challenging to engage with others and open up. We base new relationships on past experiences and instead of feeling intrigued, we feel overwhelmed. Where should we start? There are so many lessons we’ve learned, so many mistakes we regret, so many choices we wish we had made differently, and so much context to our every thought that it becomes difficult to explain ourselves. So, we learn to slowly retreat into the library of our minds and take comfort in the familiar, exploring the countless catalogues of memories (good and bad) we’ve collected over the years and just enjoying the silence. Although I still love regularly meeting new people, hearing their stories and sharing some of my own, I am increasingly enjoying listening more; to others as well as my own inner voice.”

“I can’t recall, I just woke up one day with this new empty.”

me after being diagnosed w sleepy bitch disease