I will set my soul on fire

“I do. But I could leave Lanford. It’s not hard.  I like it here, but I also miss Minnesota, and she’s got family in California.  Yeah? It’s good coffee! It’s nice seeing new people.”

Oh that’s okay, Toby…I don’t need anything strong…I don’t want my head any more muddled than it already is. Why don’t you um…distract me…tell me what’s knew with you…tell me something happy.

I’ll get out one of those frozen drinks, instead then. Uh... I don’t know? My sister is coming here for the summer? I think.  My mom and Dad are going to Vegas on vacation. I have no idea what else to talk about.

No it’s not you…it’s me…I’m just…a mess this week.

I’d offer something stronger but I don’t drink.

“How is that going? – ah see that happened to me when I moved to Charleston – everyone moved there and now I feel like Austin feels like that cause he moved here to get away from Charleston and now his baby brother is here and all his best friends not to mention me – but I guess I had to come. I have no idea. I remember those times – kind of wanted to do a little bit of everything. Oh you make coffee drinks? I have always wanted to learn to make some. That is a strange combo but hey it works for you. That is all that matters”

“It’s going. I love my mom, she’s great, and my dad is pretty rad too. I’m thankful they really accepted my girlfriend in to the fold too. Kind of miss my siblings though. It’s kind of near though, you go one pace and they all follow. I do, I do. I make some of the best coffee drinks, let’s be honest.”

If I’m now immune to coffee I am quite literally going to cry.

If it is, it’s not my fault. I kept giving you the same strength stuff.

I don’t know. I’ve been giving you a new coffee every time you conk out a little and I feel like I’m sneaky enough. Oops. I was hoping it would work.

“Yeah. I moved here to try to be independent but then my parents moved here and it just became home because home is family and friends. I’ll be honest and say she switches so much I forgot. She went from music to nursing to something else, I don’t know. I work at the Beanery, and also at a old folks home nearby. A weird mix but I like it.”

“I don’t know. Everyone except my little sister and older brother are here that I care about. So here. But she’s got one more year of college in the Twin Cities and I think he’s uh.. right now in .. somewhere. He works in a camera crew for some documentary series.”

Did you see your reflection or something? Have you heard that before? Because you do, it’s not a bad thing just….you look a little like a duck. You could be mascot or something. Play the Ukelele with just the beak, that’s all you’d need. I’m sure you can find that at any costume shop, play the fight song loud and proud to drunk college chicks grinding their beer guts together…I can see it….

Riiight, man, sure. I could make a hefty living that way.

“Sounds like the town I came from. I guess I’ll just grab a burger and fries? Is that what I’ll get around here? A welcome casserole maybe?”

“I have yet to see a welcome casserole here. I’ve never seen those actually anywhere. People don’t trust free food like that anymore.”

You had me… up until the redo part. You completely lost me there. Say what now?

Not all of it. Like when my mom did it to me, I just let everything except the kitchen slide. That had to be done a certain way. Everything else I didn’t care about.

“I can’t decide if I should be glad this town doesn’t have rats or disappointed that I’m not going to get my French meal.”

“Food seems very basic here, y’know? Like mom and pop sort of things? I feel lucky we even have chinese food.”

I mean, I’m glad I’m not the only one who has noticed an extra slippiness.. But I hope it doesn’t get that bad. No offence.

Oh, none taken! I feel like it’s just a story though, I have no proof if it was actually like that. The idea scares me though.

Look at those eyebrows…that voice…contemplating playing the ukelele when you’re not that fat fuck from Hawaii, you know, it’s gonna sound like shit. Save anyone from having to jam Q tips in their ears, shits not good for you. Bet I’d rather rupture an ear drum though than listen to you try and screech out some slow down Jessica Simpson tune. The fatties sharpening his knives and I’ll jump right on that plate if I had to listen to you. And you’re one to talk, you actually look kind of like a duck….

So.. I’m getting married in six days. Is it normal to have slightly sweaty palms?

Uh, yeah. Marriage does that. My dad jokes that when he married my mom that he had to slap tissues down his back because he had bad nervous back sweat. Which is gross.

“So if I wanted to make myself killer French food, where can I get the rat that’ll do that for me in this town?”

“Probably not there, Char. Might have to head to the city to find that little rat.”