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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH


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shark vs the universe
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@toadalert

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me after chewing on polly pocket clothes
drumstick ice cream cone ending explained
When you just wanna be a silly bear but it’s still Existential Tuesday

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Getting a new porn bot everyday like it’s an advent calendar
Beer and a blunt to end the day
A Ryuji and Haru from 2020

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make better choices
So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.
Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)
The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)
The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.
In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.
EXACTLY LIKE THAT probably
today is the only day you can reblog this
Google search "what to do if memory stolen by brain gnomes"
Web page reads "you last visited this page on 10/8/22"
mfw

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kanye isnt even funny annoying anymore hes just annoying
no kanye you needa get your shit together