therapist: are you ever worried that- me: Yes

Don’t drink and drive your dog won’t understand why you never came home

i love people who get excited about stars

SHES WALKING HERSELF OMG GO GIRL

ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?

I hope it’s a PS4.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

What?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

delete this

holy shit

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum