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Jules of Nature
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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we're not kids anymore.
Today's Document
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@tinytsunamis

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shaking myself (very gently) . being in pain takes a lot of energy!!!!!! being in pain is exhausting!!!!!!! you are not lazy or weak because you need to spend so much time resting, this is your body coping with how much pain youâre in literally 24/7!!!!!!!!!
Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)
Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.
I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.
I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.
I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.
My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."
That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

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Lavenham Light - Paul Evans , 2024.
British , b. 1954 -
Ink and acrylic on paper , 47 x 47 cm.
Max Hauschild (German, 1810-1895) - Vines seen through a Window
Edit 1: This is a draft from last year that I was going to publish but never got a chance to do.
Edit 2: Hi all. Iâm 30 now. Still here. Still alive. Didnât think Iâd ever make it this far. :â)
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Is anyone still here from 5, 10, or even 15 years ago?
I thought about deactivating this account but I couldnât get myself to do it.
Thank you for being here if youâre still following me.
I turn 29 this month.
My mind always flips a switch as the day draws closer because Iâm reminded my circle of friends gets smaller and smaller every year I grow older.
Itâs a little upsetting because Iâm to blame. I isolated myself and pushed a lot of people away when I was injured and during early COVID times. Some by choice, others when I was feeling sorry for myself and my inability to live a normal able-bodied life like sitting at a restaurant, going for a walk or a drive, and watching a movie.
For context: In 2019, I was in a car accident and while I was receiving treatment, my body reacted poorly to a dry needling session for reasons unknown and I ended up losing the muscle strength and feeling of my right hip down to my right foot. I had excruciating shooting pains. I couldnât walk and stand for months. I couldnât return to work and I couldnât function independently. I laid in bed most days and needed help getting out of bed, help getting dressed, moved around the house in a chair with wheels, got driven to my active rehabilitation appointments, and my quality of life was negatively impacted - physically, mentally, and financially. My road to becoming functionally able again took me 3 years.
Present day, I still have pain flare ups and Iâm not 100% but Iâve learned to manage my expectations and be upfront with what I can and cannot do. Iâm no longer a chef as per my doctorâs advice and I personally wanted to get out of the industry. I went back to school this year and completed an accelerated medical office assistant program. A complete 180 and I donât know if itâs the right choice but Iâm doing things again and trying to live life again.
Back to turning 29. This year is weird and things are different with all COVID restrictions lifted. Iâm more cautious who I hang around with. Younger me would have a list ready of 10-20 names of friends and acquaintances I want to invite over and spend time with during my birthday month.
I can confidently say I have 3 friends in my life I can count on, lean for support, and talk to about anything, and theyâre still interested in getting to know me and hanging out with me. They know my depressive tendencies and are the first ones to notice when I âdisappearâ/deactivate my social media. They go out of their way to express their appreciation to me through my primary love languages - words of affirmation and gift giving and I do the same for them.
I donât know where Iâm going with this.
I envy people who are surrounded by a big group of friends who have known each other since elementary/high school. The ones that go on vacation together and celebrate milestones together.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Do Not Disturb: A brilliant collection of âDo Not Disturbâ signs from around the globe, more here
WAYS TO SUPPORT/BE AN ALLY
Here is a compilation of places to donate (IF you can, simply reblogging and sharing this can help) and petition to sign. I found these websites and organizations on twitter.
DONATIONS
THE MINNESOTAÂ FREEDOM FUND: Donate to this to collect funds to pay jail bonds for the protesters who get arrested.
BLACK LIVES MATTER: An organization fighting for the BLM movement. Donate if you can.Â
BLACK VISIONS MN: an organization that is led by Black, Queer and Trans people. Donate if you can.
NAACP Legal Defense Fund: Fights for the overall equality fight. Donate if you can.
PETITIONS
Willie Simmons has spent 38 years in prison for a $9 robbery. He had two prior convictions similar to robbery that he served time for. He was prosecuted under the Alabama Habitual Offender law and was given a life sentence for his third strike - stealing 9 (NINE) dollars. Sign his petition.Â
Breonna Taylor was killed by police who were conducting an UNANNOUNCED drug raid, where they gave no request to enter. They bashed her door and entered, shooting her EIGHT times. They were in the WRONG HOUSE.Â
George Floyd was killed by a police officer who knelt on his neck and suffocated him to death, after George pleaded with the officer and told him he couldnât breathe. The officer had pulled him from where he sat in his car on an alleged FORGERY. You can also text âFLOYDâ to 55156
ARREST THE OFFICERS WHO KILLED GEORGE FLOYD: The main police officer who murdered George is being kept in PROTECTIVE CUSTODY. You probably have heard he was arrested, but this is NOT TRUE. He was placed under PROTECTIVE custody because of the riots and âthreatsâ on his life.Â
If you know of ANY other organizations or petitions, PLEASE ADD TO THIS LIST. The fight for justice doesnât end here, it will never end. Especially when the president of the United States calls white supremacists good people and protesters of a mans death THUGS. USE YOUR VOICE. NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE. FUCK COPS. FUCKÂ âBLUE LIVESâ. ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER!
martini: anne barreto for vogue italia sep. 2017
I never related to a shirt so much.
cc: @femalecollective
Iâm so caught up in wasted love. Itâs all for him, itâs all for him.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Beverly and her daughter Cairo for Essence magazine, May 1996
BLACK LIVES MATTER. YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW. @ noturjacky on IG