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if i look back, i am lost
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RMH
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SGKSGKSGK MA’AM

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This was a cold open to a youtube video and I am crying LOL
(video here)
The kindest thing that literature does is remind you that your little peculiar feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, felt equally bewildered by love, bored by society, tired of pretending, and hungry for meaning.
So excited to share this illustrations I had the pleasure of creating for Bloomberg Businessweek for the article “The Steamy, Magical and Now Very Lucrative Romantasy Business” by Hannah Miller and Madison Muller.
Such a fun one to work on!
Art direction by Chandra Illick.
Recently reread "This is How You Lose the Time War" by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone with my online book club, so I created a flippable illustration featuring Red and Blue for fun. ❤️💙

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ten years ago as part of my creative writing degree we had a class on professional development where we learned how the publishing process works for different mediums and how to choose an agent and what the role of a publishing house is and back then, the advice was "self-publishing has its advantages but a traditional publisher will provide editorial support and market your book and if your book sells well enough they want to invest in your future" and now basically none of that is true anymore. books make it to shelves with noticeable errors and structural issues that could be addressed with one or two more rounds of developmental editing, authors are expected to do more and more of the marketing themselves to the point that they are expected to be social media influencers in their own right, and publishers appear to be prioritising flashy debut novels with huge advances they don't outsell, which means the author is less likely to get a follow-up deal.
Obviously a publisher is a business and a business needs to make money, but the idea used to be that you'd have a couple of very successful authors who bring in so much cash that they subsidise the new kid who is building a back catalogue of books that sell okay until they get name recognition and pay for themselves. I was told back then that a couple thousand pounds was very reasonable for a debut novel because you want to get royalties for the sales exceeding your advance and that way the publisher sees you as a profitable investment. The last couple of years I keep hearing about six figure book deals for debut (!) literary fiction (!) novels, what on earth?
I'm not saying that the publishing industry is uniquely awful or that it's worse than it's ever been or whatever, but especially in a time when reading and talking about books is trendy and there is so much money in books, it feels very, I don't know, symbolic? Prioritising flashy one-time projects over sustained and sustainable growth. Investing only enough resources to make your product fit for sale but not enough to make it good because people will buy it anyway. It's frustrating to me as a reader and as an aspiring writer and as a person existing in a capitalist system.
One of the tags referred to people thanking their editorial teams in acknowledgments, and I want to point out the growing prevalence of people thanking beta-readers and writing groups, both of which usually rely on a pre-existing community or relationship and, just as importantly, are unpaid.
My day job is as a freelance editor for nonfiction books, and I can safely say that if the publishing industry were operating as intended, I would either not have a job at all or be working for a specific press. Authors pay me directly to do the work that a press editor used to do as part of publication contracts. This is because so many presses have started outsourcing all their editorial work to either third-party contractors or, even worse, to genAI.
In short, venture capital has broken the publication industry the same way it's broken the retail, restaurant, and travel industries.
I didn't go into this side of it in my original post but YES! Fuck! I know this is a huge issue for translators too because they're being asked to do more work in less time for less money and I've heard rumblings about human translators being brought in only to essentially proofread work done by AI, which is so disrespectful to the sheer skill and artistic abilities of (literary) translation...
Anyway, I love editing. I think I love editing almost more than writing, and I'm pretty sure that I'm better at it. Last year I edited an academic article from 11k to 9k words for my supervisor and I felt like a god when I finished it, but when my supervisor asked if I'd thought about doing this professionally, I had to tell her that there's just not a viable career in editing anymore. Publishers used to employ! editors! Several different kinds of editors for different stages of the process! That used to be my dream job!
Editing is so essential to making a text good. It doesn't matter how talented or dedicated you are as a writer, you cannot achieve the level of quality by yourself that you could achieve by working with a skilled editor. That's normal! The lone genius who comes out of the cave with the perfect novel does not exist! The manuscript that gets sold to a publisher is supposed to be handed off to an editor who tells you to tighten up that plotline and reminds you that every day can't be Tuesday and sharpens your prose so your voice really shines. Skimping out on that part of the publication process takes money out of the hands of skilled professionals, leads to consumers (ew) receiving subpar products (ew!), and is such an injustice to the writers whose work can't reach its full potential (and the writers who won't get published because they can't afford to pay an editor out of pocket!).
It drives me up the wall. I hate reading a mediocre book and knowing that a skilled editor could have easily raised it from 3 stars to 4. We should all be way angrier about it, frankly.
truth over solace in lies
finished one of the most amazing reading experiences in my recent memory! these two are my very favourites.
keep the notes spoiler-free! thank you!
Something that just struck me:
Do we ever think seriously about how amazing it is that in Discworld, no female character ever gets fridged for the ‘benefit’ of a male character’s story arc?
I mean, it may not seem like a big deal until you remember these are actually 40 books and how incredibly common this is as a plot device in mainstream media.
Let’s take Sybil Ramkin (also known as dragon goddess of my heart) as an example. The one time she plays damsel in the series is in Guards!Guards when the King (actually dragon, actually Queen. Or maybe not. We shouldn’t presume on their gender identity) is going to eat her, and that’s because she was knocked out stone cold by several guards. Once she’s freed, she proceeds to kick ass and take names like you would expect from a dragon breeder, and you can also appreciate the fact that she kicks off probably the most practical courtship in the history of fantasy as a genre.
(also there was that time she knocked out a werewolf with a steel bar because they were holding her captive and apologized afterwards I swear to gods this woman)
And she is never fridged. Think about how easily most male authors would just go, ‘You know what? The protagonist isn’t having enough angst. Let’s kill his love interest.’
Then, tuppence more and up goes the donkey.
And she is such a positive force in the story! We start out with Vimes seemingly as a clichéd anti-hero cowboy-cop, the kind you’ll find in anything from Lethal Weapon to The Maltese Falcon. He is an alcoholic, utterly miserable and deems himself basically worthless. And then something (a combination of Sybil/Carrot/Vetinari support/scheming and Vimes’ own barely contained rage against the universe) kicks him in the pants and he gets character development like wowza! and we end up with a Lawful Good, incredibly clever (it never ceases to sadden me how he thinks he isn’t really that intelligent) protagonist with probably the strongest moral code I have ever seen in a fictional character. I mean, it had a mental/physical manifestation, for gods’ sake.
And they have this most elusive of fictional things; a marriage free of unnecessary drama and full of mutual respect and kindness, and she does her own thing with the dragons while he solves crime (she tends to help, though) and never is she killed off to 'advance’ his development as a character.
Because a) that would be a really gross (although frustratingly common) thing to do and b),
This is Sir Terry Motherfucking Pratchett.
Discworld Heritage Post
Reading about abusive men and the way they think. Very unsettling and an incredible book so far. Here are my very professional notes.
what book is this?
This is from “Why Does He DO That” by Lundy Bancroft.
I’m so glad I’m seeing more and more Lundy Bancroft quotes on my dash because this book CHANGES THE LIVES OF ABUSE VICTIMS. The programs run for rehabilitating abusive men through the courts? Bancroft DESIGNED THEM. His programs are replicated ALL OVER THE WORLD. He literally wrote THE book on abuser rehabilitation.
Here’s a link to a pdf copy. If you haven’t read this book yet, read this book.
Can we talk about how it seems like the entirety of the book is online on PDF, this making it accessible to anyone with an internet connection?
That is how we stop abuse.
We enable everyone to know what it looks like, so that when it happens, they can shut it down.
Arm yrself with knowledge!
Changed my life, would reccomend.
Reblogging for the PDF link.
—BB
Always reblogging because this isn’t just a partner abuse thing, this is a common abuse tactic PERIOD: Parents, siblings, bosses, general assholes, etc…
http://www.pdf-archive.com/2014/07/20/why-does-he-do-that/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
new link (the old one is broken)
Pretty sure I’ve reblogged this like eight times, don’t care.
“Always reblogging because this isn’t just a partner abuse thing, this is a common abuse tactic PERIOD: Parents, siblings, bosses, general assholes, etc…”
Heads up guys. It moved again. https://www.pdf-archive.com/2015/10/21/why-does-he-do-that/ But if it breaks just use the sites custom search. :3 That’s how I found it.
Always reblog.
I know there's a particular idea of libraries that persists, and I imagine that's extra true if this site. But the reality is that 50% of my job is spent helping people with tech issues.
If you're going to be a librarian, you need to love books, yes, but you need to love people more. And, unironically, you need to love helping with the printer. Or at least not hate it.
and in fact you can feel totally ambivalent about books! the non-negotiables are really the people and their right to information.

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The Works of Vermin (Hiron Ennes)
This was hands down the best book I've read this year. I hope I can make a good case of why I think it's so great without spoiling it, because I think it deserves to be experienced directly, but here goes.
The Works of Vermin mainly follows two characters (in an exquisitely detailed and textured omniscient third person): Guy, who works as an exterminator, is riddled with debts, and trying to protect his little sister from getting swallowed up by poverty, and Asther, a perfumer contracted to the Marshall (who is essentially the second most powerful man in the city). The city of Tiliard is almost a character itself: it is socially stratified, it is rotting from the inside out, it craves beauty and theater and music, it gives birth to ginormous insects that in turn change the city itself. The magic in this book permeates things, from the insects and their exudates to the way perfumes can be used to bend the minds of those who smell it.
Those two perspectives are used delightfully to give insight on the politics of the city, and on the cycles of violence it goes through. There is so much worldbuilding woven into the story, and in a fashion that I adore (though I know can be an obstacle to some readers): Ennes does not hold anyone's hand, and trusts their readers to piece things out themselves.
Reading this book was a slow (to me) but extremely rewarding experience, the prose feels almost tactile with how vivid and atmospheric it is. Queerness and gender fuckery is woven throughout the plot, while avoiding making any romance the main focus: the politics of the city, and the brotherly relationship between Guy and his sister Tyro are front and center of the book. All the characters are morally complex, though somewhat emotionally obscure. Everything is evoked rather than outright stated.
I don't know how to conclude other than say this book was a treat to me, specifically <3 also it's a standalone which I love for a book that manages to pack so much in it!!
9.5/10
If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading
i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls
Time to take this post entirely too seriously:
I often wonder if this is why you so commonly see the sentiment that we are in an era of uniquely bad literature, or at least that the fact that most books don't have artistic aspirations and are not aiming to be anything other than mindless entertainment is new. In fact what's new is the idea that everything is worth preserving (and also the internet making it easier to preserve it). The dumb artistically unambitious trash books of the past have survived only sporadically, because people thought of them as literally disposable.
When I was in college I had a professor who was an expert on detective fiction. He had a longstanding beef with the idea that "Murders in the Rue Morgue" was the first detective story. He thought that it seemed way too polished to be inventing a new genre, and also that the whole orangutan business had the vibe of someone subverting preexisting audience expectations and maybe engaging in a bit of stealth parody. With the help of some student volunteers, he went trawling through old magazines and newspapers and found hundreds of detective stories from the early 1800s that just hadn't garnered enough individual attention to be remembered. This was because most of them sucked balls. He created an online archive of them, so you too can read these mostly terrible stories.
I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.
Tremendously comforting, really.
choose one of my library books for me to read next
mask of mirrors by m. a. carrick
the unicorn hunters by katherine arden
queen of faces by petra lord
ship of magic by robin hobb
why raeliana ended up in the dukes mansion vol. 4
project hail mary by andy weir

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I read Ursula K. Le Guin's "What Women Know" before bed and now I can't sleep
WE'VE LIVED LONG ENOUGH IN THE DARK
"Let's talk, all of us, around the hearth, in the living room of our shared house. We have a lot to tell each other, a lot to learn."
"But I didn't and still don't like making a cult of women's knowledge, preening ourselves knowing things men don't know, women's deep irrational wisdom, women's instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior—women's knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?"
🧶 Sandry’s Book by Tamora Pierce (Circle of Magic #1)
Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟/5
With her gift of weaving silk thread and creating light, Sandry is brought to the Winding Circle community, where she meets three other misfits who all have different mysterious abilities. When disaster strikes, can she help weave together four kinds of magic and help save the place they grow to call home?
The first book in the Circle of Magic Quartet was a hard hitter. Tamora Pierce is a rare gem in fantasy and younger reader books, introducing you to strong and complex characters while also forming a story that’s hard to put down. A friend of mine recommended this one, since I mentioned liking the Alanna books, and it did not disappoint. I was happy with the pacing of the book and I loved the perspectives from each misfit, but also keeping them unique so it wasn’t writing the same story four times over.
This is a great book if you want to visit Tamora Pierce’s writing. I loved it!