The Introverted Bookworm

Artist Info

Name: Introverted Bookworm or Bookworm

Gender: Female

Age: Minor (so don’t get freaky on here)

Hobbies: Art, Reading, Writing, Singing, occasional badmitton

Hyperfixations: ROTTMNT (Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), TADC (The Amazing Digital Circus), CRK (Cookie Run Kingdom), etc.

Will do: Fanart, Fanfics, Oc x Canon, OC work, lore dumps, minimal gore (maybe more with obvious warnings), take some requests if I find them endearing

Will not: support pro ships, support T-CEST, draw s3xual things, take demands (just don’t be mean)

Goal: Eventually publish a book/story of my very own

Explaining my AUs:

Flies in a Web

A year and a half has passed since the vile Kraang attacked New York unprovoked, and the turtles are slowly recovering. All have some physical and mental issues to get through, but they are all otherwise okay, until a shocking meet-up at Todd's treehouse changes everything.

There is another turtle, who has no memory of who he was before the Kraang incident, and he could be a potential secret brother. They also meet a grumpy teenage chameleon, who doesn't seem to like them and has untold secrets that hold a risk for even bigger problems in the future. Suddenly, the brothers are thrown into a new mission: find out who the turtle is.

Unfortunately, that may be a problem, for Raph struggles through visions from an unknown source, Donnie closes off and spends all his time researching for unknown reasons, Leo struggles with physical trauma and his new leader position, and Mikey has taken up to training with Draxum at an exhilarating pace.

As the turtles whirlpool with personal issues and untold mysteries of their new friends, there is something tunneling behind it all. With all that is going on, can the turtles solve the enigma of the mystic beings, or will they finally dig a hole too deep for them to get out of?

April in Wonderland (WIP)

Flies in a Web (but the future oooo) WIP

Explaining My OCs

ROTTMNT

Woody

A main wood-turtle mutant character in my fanfic Flies in a Web.

Xsis

A main chameleon yōkai character in my fanfic Flies in a Web

Iteration of Usagi

A new samurai who enjoys company and is very observant

Iteration of Mona Lisa

A mutant salamander that owns a podcast and advocates for minorities and analyzes unsolved murders

Iteration of Mondo Gecko

A punk mutant gecko teenager who skateboards regularly in his neighborhood in the Hidden City and lives with his foster vulture mother, Auntie Avian

CRK

Yuzu Seed Cookie

Fan-Made Shadow Milk Cookie assistant that specializes in white lies.

Mace Monitor Cookie

Half cookie half monitor lizard centaur with violent tendencies and is third-in-command in Burning Spice Cookie’s army.

Tsampa Aouyin Cookie

Abandoned protector of Mystic Flour Cookie who runs in the gorge, killing any cookie who enters.

Lotus Seed Cookie

A blind prophet cookie with wings of lotus petals and a third eye. He used to be a matchmaker before succumbing to Eternal Sugar Cookie’s paradise, now only speaking riddles.

Tornado Cookie

Sister of Stormbringer Cookie who wanders the desert alone.

Brown Butter Cookie

Missing Ancient Cookie with the Light of Gratitude. I have a lot of lore on him, but for now, it’s a secret

TADC

Gnaf

A stuffed dragon plushie avatar that came into the Circus before Jax. She’s a fairly calm soul, mostly chilling out during the adventures and giving advice when the others want it. She’s about 36 years old in the real world, and has a past that she isn’t proud of. What it is? You’ll have to find that out yourself.

Sonic

Celeste the Otter

Captain of the first freshwater pirate crew: The Roarin’ Rapids! She’s just a cool otter gal who loves her crew and sky racing on her board.

Pokémon

Kyrin

A dragon Pokemon trainer originally from the Alola region, this spunky girl is always up for travel. At a young age, she’s been fascinated with dragon types, all because a Drampa used to come down to the playground at recess and play with all the other kids, especially her. Now, she’s travels the world in search of self-worth and dragon types to add to her squad.

Jayanta

A relative of Nurse Joy (all of them) who left her apprenticeship to become a trainer. Also Kyrin’s eventual travel partner and gf.

⁉️REQUESTS⁉️

Since school likes to kick me in the butt for a good ten months, I will not have a lot of time to be able to do certain things, though I do not mind taking time after work on the weekends to draw something people want. BUT, I will absolutely not draw ocs for other people unless it is for fanart purposes on my own accord. If you want to do that, wait until I have enough stability and supplies to open commissions (which will absolutely take a long time so please be patient 🙏)

DNI:

Pro-shippers

T-CESTORS

Rude people in general

OC x Canon Haters

People who will cause problems for no reason

✨ Fanart ✨

I love my ocs so very very much, I even give the side characters stories. But if you happen to like my ocs to… fanart would be appreciated and cool! Here are some guidelines:

This one is obvious but pls give credit!! 🙏Tagging me will be the best way I can find it, and if you could use #theintrovertedbookworm on your posts, that would be great!

Drawing my ocs meeting yours in any of these fandoms is fine by me! I love seeing other people’s ocs, so it would be cool to see!

Other Notes/Final Comments

I do not care about a person’s gender, race, religion, likes, dislikes, sexuality, or anything else. To me, everyone is just a human being, nothing more, nothing less. If you’re Christian? Cool. Pagan? Cool. Muslim? Jewish? Atheist? Cool.

If you’re gay? Cool. Straight? Cool. Bi? Cool (me two, twin!) pan? Cool. Trans? Cis? Poly? Ace? Aro? Cool.

A furry? Cool. Therian? Cool. Cosplayer? Give me advice please I love you so much.

I DO NOT CARE! People are people, everybody has opinions, everybody can mind their own business, OC x Canon does not hurt anyone, and if something bothers you? Leave it alone, move on, look for something else. Be respectful, be kind, be the bigger person in every situation.

AHHHHHHHHHH I’M SUCH A PROUD PARENT BRO I LOVE HOW SHE TURNED OUT!!!!

She was such a struggle in the beginning to sketch, but she looks a lot better like this!

That’s a generous offer, and I appreciate it very much!

Those who keep asking me to commission them, I have a little message for you: I truly do admire how you are reaching out to share your wonderful art and business with people to make some income. I know I could never do that even at top confidence!

However, I will say, I am very, very firm about my personal judgment of something, especially if it includes my own money. Considering I’m only a minor who has school and cannot only do one part-time job, I do not have the money to spare for certain things. This requires me to be careful with my spendings.

Also, I am in a fandom, and I am looking for more fandom-type artists if I can. This is simply a preference of mine, and isn’t meant to be insulting to the gorgeous work you create, but I am looking for something in particular.

Finally, I want to try and find these artists myself if I can, as many creators have a commission sheet I am able to look at or a website I can go on and search around. I focus hard on my own judgment, as some artists do not want to draw particular things I may request or will not take me because of my age in order to keep themselves and me safe on this vast and dangerous internet.

XSIS REFERENCE SNEAK PEAK!!!! 🧡 🩵

I love her so much you don’t understand she IS. MY. DAUGHTER. I put all of who I am into her (minus a few traits to make her more her own character) and added similar life problems and representation.

Ohmigosh finally! He’s complete and I’m more happy with his than I can say!

His colors at first made me want to hit something with a rolling pin, but I eventually found what I liked! I know he isn’t the exactly the colors the show would’ve chosen, but who cares bc he’s mine and I made him!

The shell pattern and the shape of his plastron and body IS intentional. I did heavy amounts of research on the way the turtles were shaped after shapes and how thin vs thick their plastron were compared to the rest of the body.

Woody is based on a rhombus! You can tell by the shape of his head and jaw as well as the plastron. I really think he could be in the show if he was green instead of gray, but whatever.

I'll looking forward to your response

Wow, thank you so much! And yes, I am an artist, which is why I’m drawing the reference sheet myself!

Aww, thank you so much!

Guys, look at my cutie potootie son! Isn’t he so charming?

WIP reference sheet on digital bc it’ll be easier for people to pick up colors if people choose to do fanart (or if I commission people to draw him).

By: The Introverted Bookworm

TW: Death, Grief, Intense Emotions, Violence, Gore

The lights of blue and red flash back and forth in the windows of Albearto’s restaurant. Kraang believes it to be the signal of powerful forces on this planet, a beacon of safety for the weak to rely on. It was there when Kraang Prime was defeated, when the sister was taken away in a block of ice by a big black mechanism that roared as it left, spewing dust and gravel from its rear metal bumper.

They didn’t find this Kraang, though. We are still here.

We were found out, however, by a glowing figure with a large matted mane and glowing markings on its skin. They didn’t seem to bow to our glory, our beauty. Instead they cowered and ran with their eyes leaking. They must’ve alerted the upper powers, and that’s why the lights are now surrounding the perimeter.

No matter, however, Kraang planned for this. We will not make the same mistakes they did before. 

I must move the host.

And kill whoever gets in the way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leigh wished the room was darker, that they didn’t shine as much, that their light was as dim as the light in Raph’s cold, foggy, bloody tear-stained eyes. That way they could at least pretend that the rest of the world wasn't real, that it was all just darkness, like it should be when he wasn't there.

But no. Unfortunately, the four walls surrounding them, the bed they sit on, and the sounds of water flowing through the hundreds of pipes throughout the lair confirm that the world remained spinning.

Stupid bioluminescence. 

They’ve been sitting in that spot for hours now. There wasn’t much else to do, without Raph. He used to do everything with them. The two used to skateboard on the ramps, attempt to bake under Mikey’s supervision, help Donnie test out his new creations, and race Leo on the rooftops of the city’s massive skyscrapers (Leigh tended to sit on Raph’s shoulders during the races, as they weren't exactly known for their ability to scale massive buildings). 

That wasn’t a possibility now, they thought, rubbing their eyes that ached from hours of staring and sobbing over these past two weeks. He’s not here, and he will never be back.

After Leigh had bolted out of the storage closet in a fit of hysteria and grief, the turtles had found Raph, too, in his tied up and decaying state. It was a heart-wrenching scene. Seeing their eldest brother being taken away once and managing to get him back was one thing, and seeing him taken away again, from life and themselves, was even worse. But when Donnie confirmed that somehow the Kraang, the aliens they had sent back into the Prison Dimension to rot, had turned Raph’s body into a nest for its kin?

It shattered something, a brotherly connection so precious and so tightly woven into their souls. That the family fell apart.

The connection was obviously different for Leigh. They had seen Raph as something further than just a boyfriend. They had seen Raph as a soulmate, a match so rare that most people never actually find it in their lifetimes. Taking that away was like losing a piece of one’s soul.

The worst part of this whole thing, however, was that Raph didn’t die peacefully. No, no, the Kraang decided that he wasn’t good enough for that. Instead, they changed his body, ripped apart his chest and infested his organs, twisting them, molding them into something that would nurse the sick fucking clones of the most horrible creatures to walk the Earth. 

How dare they. The Kraang had absolutely no right to mutilate such a perfect person such as Raph, to dishonor everything about him and twist him into something he stood so strongly against.

Leigh stiffened at the sudden feel of hot tears trickling their cheeks… again. Their lower lip trembled, and they tucked their knees under their chin while they let their matted hair fall over their face. Everything, everything felt near to nothing. They couldn’t sing like they used to, or draw, or sew or hang out with Mikey or Donnie or Leo or even April. It was as if they were trapped in a snare, and the death of Raph had them in a grip that left them frozen and decaying as the sun continued to shine on everyone else. 

Their throat seemed to clog with sobs, and Leigh choked on them and curled even further into themselves. They had taken Raph’s room after that night, curling in their favorite Paul Frank blanket and burying their face in the pile of teddy bears. For a few nights, the turtles had slept over in there as well, comforting each other after nightmares had woken them and trying their best to support Leigh. 

Leo was the first to stop sleeping in the room.

Then Donnie.

Mikey, obviously, was the very last one to go. He stayed longer than he should’ve, crying so much that Leigh eventually couldn’t keep up and slept through it. It made them feel bad, to leave Mikey so broken, but what else could they do? They had grown mentally exhausted of all the people around them. Besides, Mikey could probably get over it, he had two brothers, a father, and basically a sister to help him get through it.

After their mutation, Leigh had no one, no one but Raph and their own thoughts.

And now, as they flopped over on their side and drifted back into their usually timed nap of somber, they had nothing but their own thoughts to keep them company.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eyes. So many fucking eyes, kept looking at them. As they slept, as they stared into mindless oblivion, and as they grieved. They were told over and over by Mikey to take down the posters, to just come out of the lair, take a walk through the city alleyways, to do something other than to just… wallow.

He didn’t get it. No one did, no one would.

Currently, Leigh stared into one of the many missing posters, staring into Raph’s dark eyes with their own glowing yellow ones. It was irony, that they had the light while Raph seemed to carry an odd yet comforting darkness. It really felt as though it should be the opposite. Leigh felt as though their mind was always clouded with unstable thoughts and memories that a normal person couldn’t really understand unless they were some kind of psycho. Raph on the other hand, was so full of life, Despite his anxiety over his brothers and the overprotectiveness, he always gave off the warmest feeling. He was like a cushioned shield that protected and comforted at the same time.

Leigh, more or less, felt like the sword in the relationship. While calm most of the time, their anger was sharp and focused. They knew where to hit, and that stab of reality put Raph at ease, something to hold onto for that stable sense he lacked.

You can’t have one without the other.

But he was taken, and they won’t get him back.

Leigh’s lure flickered as their rage began to boil. They knew the five stages of grief, and they felt as though they had been through every single one: denial by praying he would wake up next to them, anger by lashing out at everyone and themselves, bargaining by begging for even the smallest of momentos from the rest of the boys, depression by sitting in this room for ages….

No, actually, they were missing one.

Acceptance.

But they knew Raph was dead, they saw his body, looked into his long-dead eyes. They knew he wasn’t coming back, they knew the authorities had found his body  and froze it and dragged it to their secret facilities. 

So why on Earth could they not accept it? 

Something didn't feel right. It should feel as though his soul has dissipated from theirs. They should feel completely empty, but they don’t. It was like phantom pain.

Something wasn’t right, and they knew it.

The sound of shredding paper alerted Leigh that their hands were tearing into the posters beside the one they were staring at. They watched their knuckles grow pale from the pure grip they had on the paper, and scoffed.

Damnit.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up in the middle of the night has become somewhat of a routine for Leigh. Normally, it was because of a nightmare or an urge to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. Tonight, however, it was for a different reason entirely, something they hadn’t even expected.

It was laughter.

They sat up near immediately, cold sweat dripping down their temples at the very idea of someone being so happy in this miserable time. And at midnight, when people were trying to sleep. It was honestly just rude. Besides, what in the world could be so funny that someone would be laughing so much?

With their mind made up and an underlying sense of dread, Leigh flipped the blankets off of themselves,got up, and opened the train car door.

The first thing they noticed as they walked towards where the sound was coming from was how it actually wasn’t someone laughing in real time. No, the rickety sounding laughter was actually coming from what sounded like a recording from the Hamatos’ screen player. Was someone watching a movie? 

When they finally got to the doorway of the living room, Leigh noticed two figures sitting on the bean bags in front of the recording. One of them was Donnine, lounging back and watching with full-force concentration. The softshell being up wasn’t a shock, but Mikey sitting in the bean bag next to him wrapped in a blanket was. Both turtles were looking at the screen, which still played a laughter that, now that Leigh was within proper ear-shot, sounded very familiar.

And when they looked up at the screen, they finally figured out why.

The recording being played was of Raph. He was hanging out with the rest of his family on the rooftops, with Leo walking across the beams of the bridge with a large stack of pizza boxes balancing on his head. Mikey and Donnien were cheering as Raph looked on with a sour, yet amused expression on his face.

His eyes looked so lively.

Why, why was he so… lively?

“Leigh,” Mikey exclaimed when they walked further into the room. The box turtle’s eyes were wide with worry. “Y-you’re up, and out of the room!”

“This woke me up,” Leigh responded, voice just slightly rougher from lack of speech. They stared, transfixed, as the video played on to a different moment, a few months after the Kraang were defeated. Everyone was sitting together on a building eating pizza, and Raph had his arms around a happier, more polished Leigh. “Why are you watching this?”

“Well–”

“Mikey requested to,” Donnie responded quickly. He gave Leigh a cautious look as he continued to speak. “I pulled up the footage on a VHS and started playing it.”

Leigh scoffed. “Obviously.” Of course Donnie put together a VHS for himself to remember Raph by, it was so ridiculously him. Of course Mikey was watching it, it was so horribly him.

The scene flickered to Raph kissing Leigh’s cheek, and Leigh giggling. Fucking giggling, like everything was going to be okay and lovely for the rest of their lives. 

What a fucking fool they had been!

Mikey seemed to be getting slightly more nervous and reached for the screen player. “Here, I’ll turn it off! We don’t gotta–”

Leigh held up a hand to stop Mikey from going further. “No. Keep it on.”

At this point, the anglerfish was transfixed by the footage. The scene had switched to a moment in time where Leigh and Raph were dancing, with Leigh being slightly embarrassed, but still smiling cooly as Raph spun them around and around, Mikey looking skeptically at them while holding a hot tray of cookies. It was like listening to music finding its perfect harmony. Raph’s cautious steps and Leigh’s clumsy ones, the hold on each other’s waists, the glimmer of joy in each other’s eyes as they made contact.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why did they have to lose this? This amazing beautiful person that meant the world to them, that held them like they were precious and kissed them like he depended on the air from their lungs just to breathe. Leigh felt their chest tighten with the urge to squeeze their heart until it stopped feeling at all.

They’ve seen enough.

“Turn it off.”

Mikey went to do as he was told, but Donnie stopped him with a little shake of his head before looking back at Leigh. “Raph wouldn’t want you to do this.”

Donnie’s response was like a splash of hot water. “I’m sorry?”

“Look at this, look at him, look at you!” Donnie pointed at the screen while keeping his voice at that oh so annoying monotone level. “I may not understand what he meant to you, but I did understand what you meant to him. He wouldn’t want you sitting in his room mourning him. He’d want you to move on and thrive, like we are trying to do.”

Leigh’s eyes finally snapped away from the screen and onto Donnie. Their markings flickered, and they grit their teeth harder than they ever have before. “”You have no idea–”

“Um, actually, as his brother, I do,” Donnie scoffed back with a little more attitude this time. “Raph knew that he would rather die protecting us than watch us die, so he always tried to make sure that we could live to our fullest. Despite living in a sewer, being shunned from common humanity, and even our father’s negligence, he wanted us to be happier than anything else. That’s why I know, even in death, he’d want us to truly live.”

“Shut up!” Leigh turned fully and stepped forwards, getting up in Donnie’s face to stare him down. “Mikey? Turn. Off. The. Damn. Recording.”

Mikey hesitated, then stood fully, eyes more determined now. “No, Leigh, Dee’s right.” Leigh clenched their fist as Mikey continued. “Raph would want you to be happy, right? The way I’ve seen you guys be, that’s all he ever tried to do.”

“Stop it.”

“He loved you, Leigh.”

“Shut your mouth!” They switched their gaze to Mikey.

“You have to move on, please?”

“No, no, no!” Leigh backed away and held their face in their hands. “I can’t! You don’t understand!”

“Then help us understand, man! We want to, we’re here for you!”

“NO!”

Donnie snatched Leigh’s wrist when they surged forwards to grab at Mikey. “Leigh, enough! Go back to–”

The touch sent a pang of rage through Leigh, and they reacted. They twisted their wrist to snatch at Donnie’s and kneed him in the stomach. He let out a loud puff of air, and Leigh used that to lean their weight into him and shove him on his shell. Donnie grunted and attempted to shove Leigh off, but they were faster, and closed their hands around his neck.

“NO! Leigh, Donnie, stop!” Mikey bent down and grabbed Leigh’s waist, his voice shaky and panicked. “This isn’t going to help!”

Leigh kicked out and Mikey pulled back in pain as they squeezed their hands tighter around Donnie’s neck. Donnie squirmed and choked, clawing desperately at Leigh’s arms through their turtleneck sleeves, but the rage was too much.

How dare they act like they knew Raph better. How dare they try and water down Leigh’s grief with meaningless excuses. They didn’t understand anything about how it felt to lose a soulmate, to lose a best friend and partner. They. Knew. NOTHING!

“What the hell is going on?!”

Leigh’s heated glare landed on Leo’s form in the doorway. Through the eyebags and somber brows, Leo looked confused and scared. “Leigh, what are you doing? Get off my brother!”

The leadership in Leo’s voice has clearly improved.

Leigh huffed and let go of Donnie, pushing off and looking at their damage. Donnie clutched at his neck, rubbing the already forming welts. Mikey was on the ground and rubbing his chest with tears in his eyes. 

They hurt him.

They hurt both of them.

Oh shit.

Guilt flooded through the anger and they ran a hand through their tangles. Oh no. Raph was going to be–

–right, he isn’t here. Hasn’t been in weeks. 

What the hell was wrong with them?!

“Leigh?” Leo was now on the ground, helping Donnie to his knees as Mikey attempted to stand. “What happened?”

“R–really?” Donnie coughed with a horrid rasp. “What about us?”

“I know, Donnie, but trust me?” Leo smiled before focusing back on Leigh. “Is there a particular reason you were trying to kill Donnie?”

Leigh swallowed and clasped their hands together against their chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t really want to. You have to know this!”

“I do know,” Leo said gently, like coddling a toddler. “Come on, Leigh, it’s not like you’re violent or anything.” His voice grew stern. “But I do need to know what happened so I can help all of you.”

Leigh grit their teeth again. “Stop that. That stupid responsibility talk? You’re acting as if you can replace… him.”

Leo winced and helped Donnie and Mikey stand. “Leigh, no one can replace Raph as a person. But if he isn’t here to do what he does, who’s gonna do it?” He shrugged apologetically. “I’m just doing what he would’ve done: keep everyone happy.”

“HA!” Leigh burst out a laugh and stepped forward. “Don’t even try to attempt to understand how I feel, because that’s what got these two so messed up in the first place.” They glared at the two, realized what they were doing, and shook their head. “I’m going for a walk. Don’t stop me.”

Before Leo could even respond, they shoved past and left the room. Guilt and hate threaded together in their mind and they squinted back frustrated tears. 

What have they done?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New York City is loud, very loud, even at night. Cars honked at other annoyed drivers and people clogged up the street while yelling at each other. 

But this part of the city? It had grown silent. So terribly, yet wonderfully silent. 

Leigh had been walking for hours. Their feet ached through their sneakers, their arms were stiff from being crossed for so long, and their eyes hurt from unshed tears they’ve been holding back. What was even the point of crying? They didn’t deserve to pity themselves for the hurt they caused to their friends.

Numbness felt like the only thing they could feel at this point. Nothing fucking mattered. Raph was gone, they hurt his brothers, and they didn’t want to go back to that room. With the missing posters and the horrible smell of him still lingering. They can’t believe they sat there for weeks on end, soaking up what was left of him. 

God, what was wrong with them?

How many times were they going to ask themselves this?

UGGGGHHHHHH!

Leigh…

A voice echoed from in front of them, and they looked up in shock to find themselves at Albearto’s restaurant, the same one they found Raph’s body at.

What?

Leigh…

There it was again! That voice, so creaky and creepy, but so oddly….

They tilted their head slightly, and let out a cool breath of air. They didn’t really like the idea of going back in there, but the police had removed the body, right?

I know where he is…

A shock ran up their spine. Wait, what? Where he is? But his body was taken, right? He couldn’t still be in there.

Unless that was the phantom feeling they were having earlier, where he didn’t actually feel gone. Maybe the police didn’t find him! Maybe he was still in there!

Leigh felt a warmth blossom in their chest, and they opened the restaurant doors. Curiosity and desperation lead them back to the storage area. The doors were still there, nice and closed, all except door number three, where they had found Raph. 

They pushed through, their light spreading out across the still abnormally large room as they hurried down to the opposite wall. The animatronics were still hung up on the wall from last time, and the smell was worse than ever, but an odd sense of hope made them ignore all of it. 

Was it still here? Could they see him again?

But when they got to the end of the room, the wall was empty.

They stilled with confusion, looking around wildly and scrunching their brows. This made no sense. He had to be here, he just had to! There was no way that they didn’t hear the voice and he not be here! Where is he?

Maybe they should turn around? Focus a little more on the voice?

Ugh, might be for the best.

However, when they turned around with an annoyed expression, they almost ran straight into an open chest.

They gasped and nearly screamed before covering their mouth. 

He was here.

Raph stood there, still smelling horribly of rot and face still bloody, but he was actually looking at them. His eyes were almost glazed over as he looked at them, but it was him… right? And he was standing, and even in his chest, despite everything being held up by tentacles, his heart was actually beating.

Holy shit. He was alive, alive.

Leigh nearly cried again and looked down in disbelief. “Oh mi gosh, you’re alive.”

N-not… quite, Leigh, said that voice. They looked up and saw that Raph was attempting to speak, and doing it. Poorly, but speaking. 

Wait, not quite?

Before Leigh could speak again, Raph reached over with a shaky hand and touched Leigh’s cheek. They shuddered at the touch as stiff, cold flesh met their warmth. I–I have b–been waiting… too long.

Leigh placed their hand over his and let the tears fall. They swallowed and gasped while closing their eyes. “I can’t believe this. Is it… is it really you?”

Raph tilted his head, and Leigh could hear cracking. Almost.

“What does that mean?”

The snapping turtle paused, blinked, then spoke again. H–how much of myself… can there be a–after death?

A sob threatened to tear through Leigh. “I don’t know.” They laughed a bit and pressed their head more into Raph’s palm. “I lost myself after you were… y’know.”

…I do not know.

“Were found dead?” Leigh whispered and looked up again, this time with more confusion and fading hope. “Are you sure it’s you i n there? Are you my Raph?”

Who is… your Raph?

Oh.

So this isn’t him. 

But why had he said he’s waited for “too long”?

Leigh removed Raph’s hand from their cheek. “Then who are you?”

Raph… or, someone, they guessed, looked up to the ceiling. I am m–more than him. I am… free.

“Free?” Leigh tucked their hair behind their fins. “I don’t understand.”

Neither do I. Not Raph looked back down.  P–perhaps you cannot know… unless y–you join me?

A chill ran over them, and they crossed their arms. “Join you?”

P–please? Not Raph carefully got down on one knee with creaky bones and a widening smile. I–it’s better like this. You… do not feel here. Where I am… a w–wonderland, you need not g–reive, worry, about what you lost.

Leigh took a deep breath. No grief? No worries? A wonderland? They just couldn’t stand it. This was all so surreal, insane, even. How could they trust this… this thing? What was… the point of this? 

Of any of this?

Of moving on when they already failed at being a good friend? At moving on from Raph when they had a chance to be with him again?

Suddenly, a hand wrapped around Leigh and pulled them giggly towards Not Raph’s chest. His hand stroked their hair, and he set his chin on their shoulder and whispered to them. Y–you’re hurting. You’re… broken. It will be a–alright, Lei-Lei. Just let me… fix you, okay?

The contact was horrible stiff and cold, but exhaustion overtook Leigh, and they leaned into him. They were just so fucking tired of it all, of waking up and feeling nothing but emptiness, noth but pain and lost. They were of no help to Leo, Mikey, Donnie. No one. It wasn’t worth it anymore.

But being with Raph again, that would make it just a little more bearable.

“Am I going to die if I say yes?”

Not Raph’s hand stilled in their hair. No. He pulled back to look into their eyes. Y–you’ll be better, like… me.

They let out a ragged breath. “I’m so tired.”

You won’t be… when I fix you.

Leigh looked into his eyes, searching for anything that felt even remotely like him. “Promise I’ll be with you again?”

Not Raph smiled again, baring sharper teeth than before, and his charming snaggle tooth. Promise.

They closed their eyes again, thinking back on the purest moments they had with Raph. Their meeting, the mutation process, the comfort afterwards, the confessions of love to each other, the dancing and the baking and the stolen kisses, everything they wanted again. The pain that dissipated the moment Raph was just there for them. Leigh missed him, more than anything. The turtles would be okay without them, for they had each other. Leigh would have Raph again.

It would be okay again.

Finally opening their eyes, they looked deep into Not Raph’s. They saw their reflection. They saw an anglerfish mutant with sunken eyes, matted hair, and unwashed clothes. It was better this way. Swallowing down their dread and fear, they nodded. “I wanna see him again”

Not Raph’s smile stretched beyond the limits possible, and his grip onLeigh’s hair tightened. Then we begin.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raph had never felt so terrible before, never felt like more of a monster.

Kraang had killed him over a month ago, had torn him apart and taken his body as its own, but he hadn’t quite died. 

Well, perhaps he was dead, but just in the spirit world.

He hadn’t found Gram-Gram yet, though, like he thought he would. Hadn’t found any of the late Hamato Clan, actually. He hadn’t even felt a connection to them when his soul left the mortal world.

Donnie would’ve found a solution by now.

However, he did have a feeling that he was still trapped in his own mind, like a vessel in that one Jupiter Jim movie. He had watched as Kraang used his body for the first time and escaped the police. Then, it had returned to settle back in the room.

It wasn’t too bad at first. He had just watched everything, and he didn’t feel tired or anything. It wasn’t the same control the Kraang had over him before.

But he hadn’t expected when the body had moved and used his voice to lure his love into the restaurant.

Raph hadn’t realized it until the second time they called Leigh over, and Raph had seen through his body’s eyes that Leigh was coming over. He nearly cried seeing them in their disheveled state, so matted and torn apart by grief.

Oh, how he wished he hadn’t died. 

It got worse when the Kraang was with Leigh, touching them, using his memories to speak in a way to manipulate them. Raph had tried desperately to take control, but his body wasn’t his own anymore. He grew angrier and angrier.

But the horrors started when Leigh agreed to “join him”.

Raph couldn’t do much in the spirit world, but at least he could scream. 

He had begged the Kraang to stop as it used his body to tear Leigh apart. His love’s cries rattled in his thoughts as he cried and prayed and apologized over and over for not being able to save them.

Now, however, the Kraang had let him take a little control, not enough to think for himself, but enough to interact with the new “nest.”

Leigh’s body, bloody and torn at the chest, sat neatly in a chair, blankly staring with freshly tear-stained eyes. Raph had gone on his knees and laid his head in their lap while crossing his arms in defeat. He never wanted this for them, never wanted them to give up just to be with him. He understood, he loved them enough to do the same, but that doesn’t mean that they needed to do it themselves.

Raph took control of his vocals and spoke in a broken voice. “I–I’m so sorry, Lei-Lei. I n–never wanted to do this to yah.”

He felt a hand stroke his head. Their hand, he hoped. “You did.”

“No, no, sweetie… this wasn’t me. I never wanted this.”

Leigh looked down. “I wanted you, Raphie. That’s all that matters. I… I love you.”

Raph’s eyes flooded with tears at that. It really was them, wasn’t it? The Kraang wouldn’t say something they thought was weak. “I love yah, too. So much.”

Leigh laughed gently. “I messed up, didn’t I?”

Raph shook his head. “Not… on purpose. Wasn’t yer fault.”

They sighed and stroked his head again. “I love you. Can you say it back?”

Raph looked up and smiled as much as his stiff, cold body could. “I love you.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes: Bro this took me literally all day I need a nap. Anyways, this is the second and final part of the fanfic I made for @coughingbabycough because yay!

Also…

My submission for the contest! I’ll add it on YouTube, too. Feel free to count the fanfic as part of the contest (you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

I really hope you like this. I put my heart and soul into it. I’m so glad to get back into writing and have this be the thing that did it.

Why does lil’ man look so mad?

Before vs. After The Walten Files 5

… Sophie’s my favorite.

By: The Introverted Bookworm

TW: Blood, Gore, mentions of death, heavy emotions

Albearto's restaurant closed down soon after the Kraang Apocalypse. The building’s windows had been shattered from the explosions, and the animatronics were infested with Kraang in hiding months after the initial outbreak. The Kraang were put into hyperfreeze while inside the “chest cavities” of the robots, and were taken away by the government. Without their mascots, service soon became lacking, and the restaurant chain was forced to close down all throughout New York to keep the citizens safe. 

Unfortunately for Kraang, the humans’ plan worked. Our kin could not age properly within their metal structures, and therefore could not spread their great power to the weak, could not take over as intended. We tried our best, and failed.

But Kraang has found a second chance. 

Kraang can save us all.

Kraang can– can– can– can–

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been over a month since Raph went missing, and Leigh is growing impatient. 

When Raph had left that day, he had been fine, better, even. He had woken Leigh up with a thousand tiny kisses, his snaggle tooth pricking their cheeks. He had picked them up and spun them to the kitchen where Mikey had to hit the couple multiple times with a washcloth to get them to leave him in peace. The two had watched a Jupiter Jim movie together, and finally sat on the rooftops, overlooking the blinking city lights. Raph had told Leigh that they reminded him of a city night, with all their glowing markings and lure and dark skin. He said their hair reminded him of the rustling of leaves in the nightly breeze.

He had said he loved them.

How Leigh wished they had said it back.

“Yo, Leigh, you okay?”

Snapping out of their trance, the anglerfish mutant turned to look into the eyes of Mikey, whose face was laced in worry. The youngest brother had clung to Leigh significantly in the past few weeks. It wasn’t a surprise, considering they were best friends, but now it seemed excessive. It felt as though only moments would go by until they felt Mikey’s warm hands on their shoulder. 

It was supportive, and appreciative.

But it didn't bring Raph back.

Leigh narrowed their eyes, their lure glowing brighter in the dim room. “‘M fine… just worried for Raph.”

Currently, themselves, Mikey, Leo, and Donnie were treading their way through an abandoned Albearto’s restaurant. It wasn’t the first place they looked, obviously, but hopefully it would be the last… or one of the last. April had given a note to the turtles about some strange occurrences in the area while doing some research for college. She had told them of the loud midnight tunes neighbors reported, and the subtle shrieking underneath it. Freaky stuff.

Mikey nodded and patted Leigh’s shoulder. “We’ll find him! He’s a big guy, it’s not like he’ll be that hard to find, right?”

Normally, Leigh would give a small chuckle at any jokes about Raph’s size, and then Raph would heave them onto his shoulder and say “Who’s the tall one now, huh?” The two would then giggle and tussle until they fell into a giggly heap on the ground. It was a ritual at this point. Without him, it meant little to nothing.

But, to secure the feelings of poor sensitive Mikey, they gave a small smile and nodded. “Thanks, Mike.”

A larger, toothier smile broke out on the box turtle’s face, and he rubbed Leigh’s shoulder one more time before leaving them behind. “Leo and Dee should be checking out the kitchen by now, so let’s check the storage!”

“That sounds incredibly boring.”

“Boring!?” Mikey whipped his head around and his eyes grew wide. “Come on, Leigh! Storage closets are a treasure trove of possibility! Imagine all the junk we could get our hands on!”

Leigh wiped a webbed hand down their face. “And why would we need junk?”

“Um… so we can have Donnie make us inventions of mindless fun? Duh!” Mikey rolled his eyes and rushed ahead. “Come on! I think it's this way!”

Leigh watched Mikey run, noticing the hopeful bounce in his step and the joyful hums that escaped his closed lips. It was frustrating. How could Mikey be so painfully happy during the most worrisome moments of their lives! Raph was gone, and he was… was…

…trying to keep them happy. He was keeping them together, despite the terror that wanted to break up the team.

Goddammit. 

Leigh clenched their teeth. Raph had pointed out to them once, on how Mikey was the family glue. It was what worried him the most, but also the thing that inspired him. It made Raph want to be the glue for their own relationship, and he had been. He kept Leigh together during their worst moments, like their mutation. 

With a reluctant sigh and muscles tense with cold and worry, they followed Mikey into the darkness.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dark didn’t stay very dark around Leigh. With their glowing markings and eyes, they found they could light at least half of most rooms they entered. They supposed it was so bright because they were now, because of their fish biology, meant to be in water deep within the midnight zone. 

Raph loved their light. He would nuzzle the markings on their shoulders and neck playfully to surprise them when he could.

“Huh,” Mikey stated when Leigh finally entered. “Three doors.”

Looking around, Leigh found the same thing. A tiny room with random supplies stacked high on the shelves, as if someone had forgotten to take them away when the building closed. On the wall across from lied three doors, unlabelled. They were all the same size, all the same color, and all the same dirty, dusted texture. 

A chill ran over Leigh’s skin, and they tucked their chin into their yellow wool turtleneck. “Um… what door looks the most… I don’t know, ‘hidden secrets lie here’ ish?” 

Mikey put his fingers on his chin and squinted, observing each door. “Hm… not sure. They all look the same to me.”

“I was kind of kidding, man.”

“Oh,” Mikey said, a light blush of embarrassment dusting his cheeks. “Heh, right.” He looked over the door again and finally pointed. “Okay, how about I take these two, and you take that one.”

“What?” Leigh gave mikey a stare. “Why do you get two? I have the glowing lure.”

“And I,” the box turtle bragged while brandishing his now glowing nunchucks by swinging them around. “Have two cool glowing weapons. I win!”

Leigh ground their teeth and looked away, getting slowly more annoyed. It’s not like they wanted to, most of the time they actually didn’t. But with Raph being gone, their stress had risen, which meant their mood swings grew much more frequent. They had snapped at Leo once already just this month, and it hadn’t felt very great.

“Fine,” they said through gritted teeth. “I’ll take this door, but I will take a longer time searching just to spite you.”

Mikey shrugged and opened the first door. “Eh, I’ll have Leo or Donnie help me drag you out.”

The anglerfish huffed as Mikey left. They really wished Raph was here to help them right now. They almost felt the gentle rumble of Raph’s chest against their cheek as he spoke soothing words of love to them. Itching for that feeling to come back to them, they shoved open the door.

Now, perhaps they could’ve prepared themselves for what happens next if they simply looked down. Underneath the door, there had been a trail, where the bottom of the door had scraped the tile, but also the trickle of oxidized blood.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The room immediately sent another chill through Leigh, but this time it nearly ran through their nerves and stiffened their spine. As their light washed over the room, one of the first things they noticed was the rusty smell that emanated from the farthest wall from them. Another thing was how the room was definitely bigger than the door had made them think. The walls stretched more than what they should’ve, and their light didn’t reach the lengths it would’ve if it was the normal size.

Also, it was weirdly moist. Gross.

Leigh wrinkled their nose and began walking. Their sneaker steps echoed and bounced from all sides, and the rusty smell didn’t seem to go away with that feeling that happens once you’re finally used to something. No, it simply seemed to get so much more rancid. 

They pulled their turtleneck over their nose and shook their head, catching a glimpse of metal in the corner of their eye. Leigh, curious, turned to look. Besides them, hanging on the wall, was a discarded Albearto animatronic. Its hands were merely metallic claws, its chest was caved in as the fabric hung limply in the cavity, and its face was ripped apart. One of its horrible eyes caught on Leigh’s light, and a flare of red seemed to wink at them as they passed.

In their mind, they simply thought it was weird to have such a damaged model in the storage of a family restaurant. But their chest seemed to clench with a sense of dread they couldn’t understand. Anxiety spread across their ribs and over their limbs, causing a tremor that seemed to slow their pace. 

The wool against their skin suddenly felt too hot, but every other part of their body felt cold. However, they kept a steady path towards the farthest wall.

As they walked, their gaze kept catching more and more. Extra parts of animatronics like Alberto, Cheery Tomato, and President Pepperoni dangled from the walls, sat stacked in boxes, or were scattered about the floor as if they had fallen over and never been picked up. 

The rust smell grew heavier and heavier, causing Leigh’s throat to flex with the urge to gag. They wanted to turn, go back to the turtles and leave this place. But Raph’s warm eyes filled their mind, and an ache squeezed at their heart.

They had to do this for him. They would do this for him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a shadow appeared in front of them. It was large, extraordinarily so. It was tall, wide, and dangling from the the same way the other animatronics were. But instead of stiff metal limbs twisting at angles humans weren’t capable, this figure hung limp, like heavy rags. 

Leigh tilted their head, causing their turtleneck to slide down, and the smell hit them worse than ever. They planted their feet before they stumbled from the sheer strength of it. The rusty smell was now mixed with something horribly rotten. Black mold, perhaps, or maybe something like…

The anglerfish mutant suddenly didn’t want to know, but it was too late.

Their light had hit the figure.

A gasp tore through their throat before a sudden sob stifled it.

Hanging there, on the wall, was their Raph.

He didn’t look the same, however. His limbs hung low with wire wrapping around his shoulders to keep his upper body upwards as his feet barely skimmed the floor. His plastron looked fine waist down, until you noticed the dried blood and magenta tendrils coiling over the smooth surface. His chest, once so full and warm to the touch, was now a cavity of darkness, heart and lungs exposed while webbings of tentacles held his ribcage and every organ in place. His mouth hung open, and his eyes were empty of that loving glow and staring down at the ground, bloody tears running over his cheeks and staining his mask.

No.

No. No.

No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO NO NO, NONONONONONONO–

Leigh stumbled back step after step to let the light leave Raph, but the vision burned into  their corneas like an old camera. He couldn’t be, he can’t be, he fucking shouldn’t be…. 

He had overcome the Kraang, lived through the infection, happily walked with Leigh side by side for a year after it happened. So why, why, why was he hanging on the wall with his chest broken into? What happened?

Tears prickled their eyes and blurred their vision as they turned and began to run. This wasn’t real, this wasn’t happening, it wasn’t happening, it wasn’t happening, it wasn’t–

Soon they were out of the storage room, their feet still pushing against the tile and away from Raph. Tears flowed over their face as their hair whipped about in a frenzy, flying free and knotted from the days of not brushing from pure stress over this mission. 

Leo and Donnie were at the exit when Leigh finally entered the main room. Both turtles turned in pure confusion at their panicked friend.

It didn’t matter. Leigh slammed their shoulder into the doors just as Leo yelled their name into the darkening city.

The sidewalk sounded gritty under their shoes when they finally stopped at a lamppost. They pressed their body into the cool, sticker-coated metal and finally let out a gut-wrenching sob. A month of unreleased expression poured out of their trembling, adrenaline-wrecked body. Their hands grasped the metal hard enough for their knuckles to whiten to the color of bones.

Raph’s bones.

His exposed ribs.

They would never feel his heartbeat again, never hold him in their arms, never watch movie marathons or bake together or kiss.

Or say “I love you”.

Like they should’ve that day.

Their teeth dripped with drool as they let out more open-mouthed cries. Tears poured down their face and into their turtleneck. Their hair stuck to their cheeks and temples as they slid to slump under the flickering light above. 

He was gone. Raph. Was. Gone. The one person who understood them, who was there for them, who told them they were beautiful despite the mutation, despite their flaws, despite their secrets, was fucking gone.

Their breathing turned shaky as their sobs came to a slow. Their knees pressed to the gravel as they looked up towards the stars, the same stars they looked at the night before he disappeared. They shined so brightly, like the souls of the thousands of people with the city Raph loved.

These stars would live and shine for so much longer than Leigh’s lifetime.

But Raph would not.

—

Kraang had done well for his colony. He had renewed a main source, took it apart and made it new, made it better, made it beautiful. 

It was going to be ready soon, but even stronger than when Kraang Prime first blessed it.

And it was going to be hungry.

Raph. Is. Hungry.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes: This is a gift for Cough Cough based on the Walten Files on YouTube (go check it out its low-key fire). They made a super cool drawing, and I honestly really loved it, so I made something based on it and I made some references!

I hope you like it!

Xsis… where did you get those?

I wanted to turn this into an animation originally, but that failed miserably. So, instead, I made it a drawing and ended up falling in love with it so much more!

Also… if you would like me to maybe possibly add your ROTTMNT OC’s bandanna to add to her… I would, heh….

Or you can add it yourself! Just tag me if you do! You can add it literally anywhere that isn’t on her tail if you want!